


pawprints

by anarchyarmin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe – Occult, Angst, Bisexual Erwin Smith, Domestic Fluff, Human Trafficking, M/M, Minor Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Non-con warning refers to past events & background situations not involving main characters, Revenge, Switch Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), cat!levi, mentions of torture, psychic!Ymir, wolf!Ymir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-08-13 20:03:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 53
Words: 155,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7984390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchyarmin/pseuds/anarchyarmin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin gets a reprieve from his divorce when a friendly stray cat begins visiting his back porch. When unexplainable things begin happening around the house, he discovers his cat is a shapeshifter named Levi, on the run from his enemies. What seems like a promising chance to start again quickly draws Erwin deeper into Levi's strange, underground world, and Erwin has to decide how far he's willing to go to help the man he's falling for. // Eruri fluff, angst, smut, and drama, with many side pairings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Visitors

**Author's Note:**

> If you can stand to imagine the cast of SNK with Southern US accents, here's some Southern Gentlemen Mike & Erwin, the SC vets as high school teachers, and the Ackermans and Warriors as shapeshifters hiding from the government on the Georgia Coast. I hope you enjoy the (quite literal) fluff!

The party was Hange's idea, and it's a good one, Erwin thinks. Nothing in him feels Iike celebrating. The sting of the divorce is too raw, too fresh. He wavers between numbness and overwhelm. But he knows what Hange is thinking: your first night in your new place should be full of people. Noise. Friends. Laughter. Cake, for Christ's sake. You might have a burning void in your soul, but if you think your friends are going to forget your birthday, you've got it all wrong.

Mike hauls the last packing box out to the curb when Nanaba arrives, cake in tow. Then Hange with the cooler of beer. Then Petra and Oulo with enough food for a small army. More people trickle in until jubilant chaos fills the little cottage on the marsh.

"Somebody needs more wine," Petra says, her voice musical. She edges over to Erwin.

"Petra, you're the wine fairy." Nanaba laughs. "Erwin," she whispers loudly, "you can't say 'no' to the wine fairy."

Laughter erupts and Petra flits across the room refilling glasses.

"I'm making a command decision," Rico says. "It's time for cake."

Hange flicks off the light and a reluctant Erwin stands surrounded by smiling faces, lit up by what seems like far too many candles. 

It's the spirited but hopelessly off-key rendition of Happy Birthday that catches the cat's attention from across the marsh. Levi's ears prick up. The cottage windows glow in the dusk light and the cat creeps closer, wondering which of the silhouetted figures are the house's new occupants. 

 

***

 

No one is too eager to leave Erwin alone, it seems. Mike joins him the next night for dinner. 

"I'll tell you what," Erwin says, poking at a slab of salmon sizzling on the grill. "This school year can't start fast enough."

"I hear ya'," Mike sighs. He cracks open another beer and sinks into the outdoor couch. "You ought to coach football with me this year."

"Come on, Mike, I never even played football."

"Assistant coach, then. Help with the conditioning. It'll be good for ya'," he says with a satisfied grin.

"You tryin' to keep me off the streets?"

"You know it."

Erwin serves the fish onto their plates and takes a long swill of wine.

"At least coach _something_ ," Mike says. "Hange'd probably love the help with the cross country team. And you could always coach tennis with Nan; the girls would _love_ that."

"I'll think about it."

It's not a bad plan. As much as he likes the new house, the quiet is unsettling. Probably good to keep busy. 

The late summer humidity is beginning to dissipate, and Erwin finds himself grateful to have a porch. If he had to move, he thought, at least he gets to be somewhere nice, and closer to the water. A pair of gangly egrets strides slowly through the marsh nearby. The two men chat and eat in the serene pink glow of the evening. Then, Mike lets out a bellow of laughter.

"Well, look'a there! Looks like dinner attracted some of the local wildlife," he says with a wide grin.

A small black cat with a flash of white across his chest waits at the top of the wooden staircase.

"Look at you! Little tuxedo cat," Mike calls affectionately. 

Erwin can't help but smile. He's always liked cats. And Marie was so dreadfully allergic. 

"Come here, buddy." Mike beckons. "Now, who do you belong to?"

The cat moves cautiously toward Mike, then presses his forehead into Mike's enormous palm.

"Aw, somebody's friendly," Mike says. "And look at that glossy coat, too! No tags on you, though...you must live by the docks, don'tcha, buddy?"

Erwin heaves with laughter at Mike's cooing voice. The cat arches his back, raising it into Mike's hand. Then, he gazes up at Erwin. 

Erwin notices the cat's striking gray-blue eyes. He tentatively holds out his hand. The cat sniffs him, then rubs his head luxuriantly against him. Erwin can feel the slightest vibration of a purr through the cat's soft head, and it makes him melt.

"Hi there," he says softly, not wanting to spook the visitor. 

"Somebody made a new friend," Mike says. 

Erwin taps the couch cushion lightly, and the cat jumps up in between him and Mike, pressing his nose to Erwin's index finger. Erwin looks at the cat sternly. 

"I know what you want," he says with mock gravity. He spoons a few bites of fish onto a napkin and places it in front of the cat.

Oh god, Levi thinks. It smells so good. And he's so hungry. Don't rush, he thinks, don't look desperate.

The cat slowly, daintily eats the fish while the two men look on in amusement.

"Aw, don't feed him, Erwin," Mike says. "He'll never leave you alone."

Levi curls up in a heap between the two tall, broad men, and begins to methodically lick his paws.

"Well, that might not be the worst thing," Erwin says, smiling. 

They fill the evening with banter. They chat about lesson plans, about repairs to the house, about the new car Mike wants to get for Nanaba. Levi falls asleep, adrift on the voices. Finally Mike looks at his watch and starts to gather the dishes. He pats the sleeping cat on the head.

"You be good now, buddy. Take care of my friend, y'hear? You come back and keep Erwin company."

So his name is Erwin, Levi thinks. Erwin chuckles at Mike's ridiculous talking-to-animals voice. Mike gives Erwin a bear hug good night, the kind that cracks the vertebrae in your back, and leaves his friend on the porch with the little furry lump on the couch. In the moment of stillness that follows, Erwin realizes something. One of the most stressful things about the divorce. 

The lack of touch.

Erwin sits down gently and holds out his hand again. Levi lets Erwin scratch his chin. It feels so good. Oh god, don't embarrass yourself, he thinks...but he can't help purring. When you find a good one, you have to enjoy it. And this man... He looks up at the blonde man again.

"You sure got some pretty eyes," Erwin says, running his fingers through Levi's fur. He sighs. It feels good to have a warm body next to you, even if it's a tiny furry one, he thinks. 

Levi feels himself going to putty. It's too good. He can't resist. He climbs in the man's lap. Erwin grins.

"Well gosh, if I'd known how nice this is, I'd have gotten a cat ages ago. Aw, listen to me, I'm as bad as Mike."

Erwin sips his iced tea, scrolls through a few articles on his phone, and listens to the wild drone of the crickets and the grumpy protestations of the frogs. The faint hum of Levi purring against his thigh suddenly goes still. The cat has fallen asleep. Erwin sighs again. It's bittersweet, he thinks. Nice to be the kind of person someone can fall asleep next to. 

The cat stirs. 

"You sure are friendly," Erwin says. "You've got to have people waiting on you somewhere; you're far too well-behaved to be a stray." 

Levi feels both flattered and slightly offended. 

"All right, buddy." He picks the cat up gently and sets him on the couch. "Time for this old man to call it a night." 

Levi watches as Erwin disappears into the house, the lock on the door clicking softly behind him. Erwin, he thinks. Single. That's good. Used to be married to a woman. That's...not as good. But he sure was touchy with that other man...what was his name? Mike? Levi flops tragically onto his back, filled with hope, and more longing than he's felt in ages. 

 

***

 

Oh no. No, this simply will not do. Not now. Not this close to the neighborhood. How could he let himself fall asleep?

Levi rolls over, off the couch and onto the floor of the porch. His bones are stinging, burning. He starts to run. Get to the water, get far from sight. His limbs tingle and ache. He tries to suppress whatever sound might escape from his elongating throat. He darts toward the sand, far from the boardwalk lights. Finally.

Concealed in darkness, he stands upright and stretches, safe. It's still a few hours before dawn, before the first ambitious runners hit the sand. He walks slowly down the beach, wind in his hair, and heaves a long sigh. The pain is gone; his human body is complete. Nothing to do now but wait, walk, maybe go for a swim while he has no fur. It's not where he prefers to be when he changes. But it's a clear night, full of stars, and it's not half bad. 

 

***

 

He can't sleep.

He's not surprised. 

It's been like this for weeks. He contemplates a glass of whiskey. He decides against it. Maybe a walk, now that he lives closer to the beach.

Erwin puts on a sweatshirt and flip flops, slips his phone in his pocket and grabs a flashlight. The night air is rich and cool. 

When he reaches the water, he feels a flicker of hope. Maybe this isn't so bad. He always did want to live at the beach, while Marie always wanted to be closer to the city. Well, that's one good thing to come out of this. Maybe I'll get a cat now, too, he thinks. 

He gives himself a half hour of wandering the shoreline and stargazing. As he turns to head back to the boardwalk, he spots a pale figure in the distance. Who goes swimming at this time of night?

He glances back again. It looks like a young man running his fingers through his short, dark, wet hair, waist-deep in the black water, gazing up at the moon. 

Erwin steps onto the boardwalk and switches off his flashlight. The man in the distance notices the change in the light and turns around. Erwin waves. The man freezes, then tentatively, shyly waves back.

I wonder what keeps you up at night, Erwin thinks.


	2. Neither 'possums nor 'coons

Erwin opens the porch door, but it drags against something. He looks down and finds the dead bird partially crumpled beneath it.

"Oh, great—"

He sees the cat sitting on the couch and begins to chuckle.

"I see...did someone tell you it was my birthday? Is that why you brought me a present?"

He sets the laptop and folder of lesson plans on the table.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, buddy, but I can't keep it. I've got to lay this one to rest."

He's nice, Levi thinks. Sense of humor. This is getting better and better. 

Erwin fetches a shovel from the shed under the stairs, scoops up the bird, and lays it at the far edge of the yard behind a spray of saw palmettos. He didn't even touch the bird, but he washes his hands anyway.

"And how are you this fine evening, my good sir?" Erwin asks in a sincere deadpan. He pauses. "I'm quite well myself, thank you." 

He drops the act and smiles, scratching Levi behind the ears.

"I'm glad you came to see me, buddy. Sure does make the time go faster."

He cracks open the laptop, bathing the two of them in the screen's cool glow. Levi crawls back into Erwin's lap, blissful, half-asleep. Between paragraphs and bullet points, he reaches down to stroke the cat, grateful for the company. 

Levi leaps down from Erwin's lap as the man stands up and stretches. He turns to the cat. 

"I need a drink. What about you?"

Levi lets out a ruffled meow.

"I thought so. I'll be right back."

He returns with a book, a glass of scotch, and a bowl of water. Levi laps the water up gratefully. Erwin looks on with concern.

"Were you that thirsty, pal?" 

Erwin refills the bowl, and Levi drinks his fill. God almighty, is he tired of drinking from puddles and garden hoses. 

The two sit together while Erwin reads. Levi falls asleep again, for how long he can't say, until he's suddenly shaken awake by Erwin's snoring. He noses Erwin's face and lets out a curious "Mrrrowp?"

Erwin wakes up, dazed. 

"Christ, what time is it?" He flicks open the laptop. Past midnight. A bug has already drowned in the remains of the scotch. He swats a mosquito from his leg.

"Alright, neighbor, I've got to go inside. I'm going to get eaten by bugs. You stay out of trouble, now."

He gathers his things, and when Levi hears the click of the door, he sinks his face into his paws.

His body starts to twitch and burn. Figures, he thinks. He's only taken his human form for a few hours in the past week, no wonder it's burning to take shape. But it's too risky here. By the time he reaches the dark edge of the water, his body is screaming in pain. He has to let go. He stretches out and lets the cool waves pass over his skin. 

When he reaches the porch again in the early dawn, a big metal bowl of water is waiting for him by the door. 

***

It happens again the next evening: not one bird, but two. Erwin laughs, compliments the little cat on his fine hunting skills, and deposits the birds at the edge of the yard. The next day, it's a mole.

The weekend comes, and Moblit nudges the porch door open with his shoulder, gin cocktails in hand.

"Erwin, I think your door's stuck—"

"Oh wait, let me see—"

Erwin looks down, and—good grief, is that a rabbit?

"You and Hange hang on for a minute, let me take care of this."

This time he scowls at the cat, perched regally on the banister.

"Listen kitty, I'm real flattered now, but you need to cool it on the gifts, ok? This is getting to be a bit much."

But he is flattered. He doesn't even mind burying the dead animals. He can't help it. It means a lot that an animal likes him—even when there's no food involved. Perhaps he should be irritated, but he's not. 

Levi sits at Erwin's feet and listens; weaves back and forth between Hange and Moblit, indulging in the affection. 

"Maybe you ought to just adopt him," Moblit says, taking a sip of his drink. 

Please, Levi thinks. Please, just let me in the house. 

"I guess," Erwin says. "I still don't know if he belongs to anyone."

Hange laughs. "Well, even if he does, it seems like he'd clearly rather be here."

"Hm, what do you think, buddy?" Erwin asks, reaching down. Levi rises up to meets his hand and purrs as loud as he can.

***

"Don't do it, Erwin," Mike says over the phone. "You're gonna get 'possums. Or worse, you're gonna get 'coons. And don't come callin' me when you've got a house full of 'coons, causing a ruckus, throwing all your shit everywhere."

"All right, I'll take that into consideration."

"Erwin," Mike says sternly. "I'm serious. Just let him be an outdoor cat. He'll be fine. Or an indoor cat, but you gotta pick one, not both.”

"All right, all right."

"You don't believe me," Mike presses.

"I never said anything of the sort."

"Well, you just trust me, you're gonna' come home, and there's gonna be a big, fat 'possum—or worse, a 'coon—on your living room table, and your cat's gonna' be on top of the refrigerator 'cause he's got nowhere else to go, and you're gonna 'have to call animal control, and that cat's gonna' hate your guts—"

"Mike, for Christ's sake—"

"I'm serious!" Mike says, laughing. "You're gonna' find the 'coon, you're gonna' have to fend him off with a goddamn tennis racket, and then you and that cat are never gonna' talk again, 'cause you're gonna' need a rabies shot (and trust me, that takes forever), and then the cat can't trust you to give him a safe home. A 'coon-free home, Erwin—"

"Mike, shut up."

Erwin hears Mike's booming laughter on the end of the line.

"He trusted you, Erwin!"

"Mike," Erwin says, chuckling, "if you don't come off it about 'possums and 'coons, I'm hanging up this phone."

"He trusted you! You can't do that to—"

Click.

Erwin does it anyway. The previous owners nailed the doggie door shut, but he pries the nails out easily, and the little plexiglass flap swings freely on its hinge. 

Oh, thank god, Levi thinks. Running water. Air conditioning. A place where Kenny can't find him. Well, that might have been his reason for coming. But as he walks through the tiny door into Erwin's kitchen, he can't kid himself any more. His reason for staying is to get closer to that blonde. He could have conned any old lady or spacey teenager into letting him into a house for a night or two. This is different. 

Please, he thinks. Please let this be home. At least for a while. Until I get strong enough again.

It's not just the shelter he needs. He already feels different. Still weak, but better. The best he's been since Farlan and Isabel passed away. There's something about Erwin. Farlan had it too, but with Erwin, it's even stronger. 

He jumps onto the kitchen table.

"Ah, ah, nope, stay off the table, buddy."

Erwin gently picks the cat up and sets him on the floor. Levi would have been incensed if it didn't feel so good to have Erwin's hands around him. Hm, he thinks, maybe that's a reason to jump on the table from time to time. For the time being he contents himself with weaving between Erwin's feet. 

"Hey now," Erwin says, crouching down to meet him. He lets out a loud meow and a chainsaw of a purr. "Well, aren't you a little chatterbox tonight."

He scoops Levi up and holds him to chest. Levi climbs onto Erwin's shoulders and nuzzles his ear.

"Okay then," Erwin says, tickled by Levi's moist nose. "Guess I better give you a tour of the place. Let's go for a ride."

He carries the little cat around on his shoulders. "So, in here is the living room..."

It's not bad, Levi thinks. It feels more like a hipster whiskey bar than a history teacher's house. Petra and Oulo—were those their names? the decorator friends?— went a little heavy on the reclaimed wood and Edison bulbs. But then, it's not like Levi can be choosy. Or like he's been able to set foot in a bar in months, thanks to Kenny. And Christ, he could use a drink. 

Erwin sets the cat down on the bed. "It's getting late, kiddo," he says, and starts peeling off his shirt. "Time for this old man to get ready for bed." Levi tries not to stare. It would be obvious, even for a cat. Erwin throws his jeans over the back of a chair; Levi catches a glimpse as he changes into a clean pair of boxers.

Shit.

He lies at the edge of the bed while Erwin washes up. Erwin sits down next to him and begins to stroke him again. Levi flops onto his back and lets Erwin rub his belly. 

"You're a sweet one," Erwin says. "You're a classy guy, too. I like that little white cravat you always wear."

Levi lets out a fluttery meow, the closest he can get to laughter without his human voice.

Erwin sighs. "Mike's probably right about you, you probably ought to be an outdoor cat. I mean, god knows you can hunt your own food, I don't think you need me for much."

Levi resists the urge to shake his head. No. No, Erwin, you don't understand. You don't understand how much I need this. Please don't shut the door on me.

"What am I doing, bringing you inside, when you probably belong to somebody, wondering where you are."

Please, Erwin. No.

"I ought to at least ask around, see if anyone's missing you. What's your name, I wonder."

Levi hops off the bed, paws at the jeans hanging from the chair, and meows loudly.

"What's the matter, kiddo?"

Levi swats at the leather tag stitched into the waistband of the jeans.

"What are you doing?"

He keeps swatting and meowing.

"What—are you called...Levi?"

Levi jumps back up onto the bed and into Erwin's arms. Erwin roars out a laugh.

He picks up the little cat.

"Levi?"

Levi meows and noses Erwin's face.

"All right, Levi it is then."

He switches off the light.

"Well, Mr. Levi, I sure hope I don't have to give you back. You're pretty good company, I must say." Erwin lies back and feels a prickle of shame. It's not that he didn't want a cat. He did as soon as Levi first joined him on the porch. There was no real reason to let him inside, Erwin realizes. He just hates to sleep alone.

Levi curls up in a little pile in the crook of Erwin's arm. He silently prays that Erwin likes other men as much as he likes cats.

***

It's past three in the morning when Levi feels it again: the uncontrollable stinging. He has to shift forms, no way around it. It's dangerous to fall asleep, to relax too much. If he can just make it to the dark edge of the boardwalk before his human shape emerges, he'll be ok. Maybe he can time it right, he thinks; exercise his human form just enough to become a cat again before sunrise, and wake up with Erwin.

He creeps to the little doggie door, then sprints to beach. His face is a mess of tears when he reaches the water. Thankfully, no one can hear him groaning in pain. He floats on the shallow waves, revived by the moon and the chill of the water. 

This is the worst part of his injuries from Kenny. The cycles are too fast, too unpredictable. He can't stabilize. Shifting at will is nearly out of the question. But it's better, he thinks, in the past week. Markedly so since meeting Erwin. The phases are getting longer. This time last week, he'd have been hiding in the marina, waiting for nightfall, praying not to be seen. This time, at least, he was even able to fall asleep. With Erwin. In a house.

The thought of more nights with Erwin gives him hope. He stretches his sore muscles and begins to swim farther out to the dark side of the marshes, toward the state park where there are no lights at night. The pain doesn't bother him as much. Fantasies flicker through his mind as he swims until dawn. 

***


	3. Tea and Catnip

If there's one good thing about the pain, Levi thinks, it's that it never fails to wake him up. If the changes happened with no warning, that would bring a whole new level of danger. It took two years of living with Farlan and Izzy before the pain disappeared and the first signs of stabilization began. With Kenny, not a chance: the transitions hurt worse than ever.

How long will it take with Erwin, he wonders. How long can he even stay with Erwin?

The antique clock on the desk reads 11, and Erwin’s car is long gone from the driveway when Levi stretches out across the bed, feeling the sheets against his human skin.

He looks at himself in the bathroom mirror, the first time he's seen his proper reflection in weeks.

"You've looked worse," he says to himself, also the first time he's heard his own voice in so many weeks. He examines the shadow of stubble on his face and runs his fingers through his hair, still cropped close to the base of his skull in a harsh undercut.

"Well no fucking wonder it hurts. You've been a cat so long for the last two months you've only got a few days' worth of a beard."

He grabs the electric razor off the countertop and buzzes the faint layer of darkness off his face.

"That's better."

He looks at his human face: pale skin, pale eyes, dark hair, small and sharp features, yet always looking young for his age. He's generally satisfied with his appearance (if not his height). He just hopes Erwin will be.

He wonders if Erwin has a type. He prays he gets anywhere close.

He looks at his body. When he shifts forms, he keeps quite a few of his feline aspects: the sharp senses, the balance and rhythm to his gait, the lean density. He's too muscular to be called wiry, but still excessively lean. Farlan used to say it was like hugging a man made of steel cables.

An aspect he loses is the aversion to water: dreadful against his fur, divine against his skin. He turns on the taps above the huge stone bathtub, dumps the old towels in the washing machine, and pulls fresh ones from the closet.

Might as well start all the laundry while the tub fills, he thinks. Laundry's pretty harmless as initial signals go. Convenient. Plausibly deniable.

He should make a plan, he tells himself as he lets his body melt into the hot bath. But the pleasant thrum of the washing machine in the next room and the soothing heat of the water lulls him into a stupor, and his thoughts turn back to Erwin. Erwin, who tells dad jokes and feels old at 35. Erwin, who Levi just knows would talk to himself non-stop if he didn't have a cat to talk to instead. Erwin, with a body like a marble god escaped from a museum and ran to the J. Crew outlet store.

Levi sighs. His hand finds the base of his cock. He hasn't had a moment alone, indoors, as a human, in ages. Whatever. He was going to clean the tub anyways.

 

***

 

Erwin slips the half-dozen flyers into little plastic covers and shoves them in his briefcase. He doesn't want to post them, but Nanaba's right. Give it a week; if no one calls, he's yours.

It can't hurt to look, he thinks, walking into the little pet shop in the strip mall at the edge of the neighborhood. He immediately smiles at the wall of feathery, jingly things by the door.

"Mr. Smith!" a familiar voice chimes from the register.

"Hitch, I didn't realize you worked here."

"Summer job," she grins. "Marlowe's in the back."

"Hi, Mr. Smith!" The tall, awkward boy with an unfortunate haircut pops up from behind a stack of boxes and waves.

"So, what are you looking for?" Hitch asks, leaning on her elbows across the counter.

"I...just got a cat," he says, a little sheepishly.

"Aww, that's great!" Hitch chirps. "What's his name?"

"Levi." He can't help but smile, thinking of the cat's absurd behavior from the previous night.

"Cute! I love it when animals get people names. It's so confusing and great. We have a dog named Bertolt, and it's seriously the best."

Erwin lies about having already bought the basics for Levi. "He's mostly an outdoor cat. Big hunter. I want him to have something for when he's inside...don't want him to be bored."

"That sounds just like my cat, Annie! I know exactly what you need."

She pulls half a dozen stringy, sparkly cat toys off the wall. Erwin laughs.

"Hitch, are you working on commission?"

"No...Maybe I should." She grins mischievously.

He shouldn't do it. It's overkill. But Erwin buys the toys anyway. Hitch gives him the Friends and Family discount and throws in a catnip mouse for free.

"Have fun with Levi!" she shouts and waves as he takes the too-full bag to the car. But when he sits down his face falls. Some kid is probably out there mourning their poor cat, he thinks. Or some old person, someone lonelier than he is. He drives home and decides that if someone calls about the cat, he'll just have them take the toys with them as a parting gift. A souvenir, maybe.

He hopes no one answers the ad.

 

***

 

Levi hunts through the laundry for Erwin's tightest pair of shorts and a shirt. He tries them on. Still a little loose, but not bad. He folds them into a plastic bag and hides them under the porch. Emergency clothes.

He's positive he'll be a cat by the time Erwin gets home. But he doesn't know when it'll start, how long he has left to use his hands. It's too soon to leave too many things unfinished. He's itching to clean the stove. Dust the living room. Put away the dishes. Keep the specter of filth from descending upon Erwin's still-clean new house. This is misery.

Then he spots it. Through the glass of the cabinet door: a little beige tin.

There's TEA.

That means there must be a teapot. He searches the cupboards. There isn't. There's a French press. That will do. It doesn't reek of coffee, either. Even better.

He opens the tin and smells the leaves. Earl Grey. Oh, rapture! The smell brings back memories of everything good in his life. His mother; Farlan; his peaceful life with old Mrs. Ackerman. Good choice, Erwin. His infatuation with this man is deepening by the second.

He wraps up in Erwin's cozy green sweatshirt and takes the tea into the living room. He flops down on the couch and picks up the novel Erwin's been reading. He'll make a thorough search of Erwin's things for information soon enough. Surely he can take his mind off survival for a few hours. And he wants to know what the man's been thinking about for the past week.

He sips the tea and flips through the pages. The house is quiet. His body doesn't hurt. He isn't hungry. This could be it, he thinks. This could be normal.

 

***

 

He's 150 pages into the Battle of the Somme when he hears the garage door open. Fuck. It's past five o'clock, and he's still very much human, very much naked except for Erwin's sweatshirt. He throws off the sweatshirt, plants the tea on the kitchen counter and dashes into the bathroom, door slightly ajar.

Levi panics. He has to shift into his cat form. Now. But to shift off-cycle...He hasn't transformed at will since he last saw Farlan...

No choice. He hears the back door unlock.

He takes a few deep breaths and feels his spine, a tingling current running through it from above his head to below his tailbone. Now he just has to collapse the current. Condense the etheric current of his spine...a shift downward, from the verticality of the human to the horizontality of the cat.

Come on. Come on, collapse! He begs his body to obey him.

"Levi?"

He hears Erwin's voice, soft in the hallway.

Come on! Now! A surge of horrendous pain, like being engulfed in flames, overwhelms Levi's body. But he makes no sound.

"Levi?"

Erwin cracks open the door and sees a very distressed cat laying sprawled on the bathroom floor.

"Sorry, buddy, am I interrupting something?"

He kneels down and gently runs his hand down the length of Levi's back.

"What's the matter, kiddo? Long day on the hunt? I know how it feels. Come here. I got you something."

He scoops up the limp cat and carries him into the living room.

"What's gotten into you?" Erwin smooches the cat's head. "You been running around all day?"

Levi watches Erwin pull the toys from the bag. He's too exhausted to play. He's too tired to even purr. He lays in a lump on the couch while Erwin sets the items on the coffee table.

"And this," he says, pulling the catnip mouse out of its plastic package, "is a gift from one of my students."

The smell pulls Levi from his stupor.

Oh, ecstasy. He forgets the pain in his body. The memories flood back; he's a kitten again, rolling around on Mrs. Ackerman's thick shag carpet; he's in Farlan's bed, the two of them roaring with laughter at the plant's effect; he's...on the verge of falling asleep. He clutches the little felt mouse to his chest and rolls onto his back. Erwin laughs and gives him a scratch under the chin.

The last things he hears before the darkness of sleep claims him is Erwin muttering to himself.

"That's odd...I don't remember making tea this morning...And when did I do laundry?"

 

***

 

The next wave hits and the clock on the microwave reads 12:58. Levi skitters out the doggie door and trots to the boardwalk. But right as he reaches the end, he notices a sign tacked to a post near the edge of the light.

Found Cat  
Male, black and white  
No tags  
Responds to "Levi"  
Call Erwin, 912.555.8077.

Erwin, why? Levi wants to scream. He dashes back to the porch, unfolds back into verticality in the darkness beneath the stairs, and rushes to put on the clothes he hid earlier.

Erwin, why are you doing this? Levi rips down the sign from the boardwalk and crumbles it up. He scours the neighborhood to see how many signs Erwin put up. One day I'll explain, he thinks. Erwin, one day it'll make sense, but...please! Levi's heart pounds in his chest. He checks every post, every telephone pole.

He feels tears leaking out of the outer corners of his eyes. Cats can't cry; he knows it all too well. If they're going to come out, it has to be now. Levi's mind races. Didn't Erwin say he didn't want to give me back? Doesn't he want me to stay? He bought me all of that stuff... Levi walks as quickly as he can without drawing attention to himself. Erwin, he thinks...can't you consider that maybe I ran away for a reason?! He clutches fistfuls of hair and suppresses a scream.

No. Erwin wants him to stay. That much is obvious. The man is painfully lonely in the house by himself.

But Kenny—

No. There's no reason for Kenny to be here. No reason to come out to this sleepy beach town suburb, what with Uri's deep pockets and their connections in Savannah and Jacksonville. Hell, for all he knows, they could be in Atlanta or even Miami by now. He prays they've left. Forget me. Pretend I never existed.

He's claimed five flyers from various corners of the neighborhood. That must be all of them, right? He crams them in a dumpster and retreats to Erwin's house, exhausted and dejected.

He returns the clothes to their hiding place. But he doesn't want to go to the beach. He has a different idea. He climbs silently to the roof from the porch bannister and lays on the cool shingles. He feels the moonlight revive him, a pleasant tingle running through the energetic column of his spine.

"You're not going to find me, Kenny," he mutters to himself. "You're not going to take this away from me. I swear to whatever fucked up god turns men into cats and stops halfway...you're not going to find me. And if you come near Erwin, I will fucking kill you."

At the far edge of the neighborhood, Kenny turns a piece of paper over in his hands.


	4. Fugitives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin discovers some shocking details about Levi when two of his students show up with a housewarming gift.

Levi hisses and swats at Erwin’s hand as he sets the bottle of beer on the coffee table.

"Levi, what's the matter with you?"

The cat yowls at Erwin and bats his paw at a little piece of polished wood.

Mike lets out a huge laugh. "Erwin, he's telling you to use a coaster."

Erwin sets the beer on the wood slice and turns to Levi with feigned severity.

"Are you happy now?"

The cat climbs calmly back in his lap as if nothing happened.

"That's a smart cat. I like that," Mike says with a grin. "Glad you got somebody to keep you in line. You want anything from the kitchen?"

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks."

Mike rubs Levi behind the ears. "You want anything, Levi?"

He lets out a soft blurble.

"Yeah, that's right, I thought so," Mike says.

He returns with another beer and a sliver of fish on a paper towel.

"You ever hear anything about your ad?"

"No," Erwin says over the buzz of the television. "But it's the strangest thing. I went for a run the other day and all my signs had been taken down."

"Homeowners' association, maybe?"

"I emailed them about it. They said they hadn't gotten anything about the cat, but they also never saw the signs up, either."

"Weird," Mike says, stifling a burp. "Just keep him, Erwin. Look how happy he is. Isn't that right, Levi?"

Levi glances up at Mike from Erwin’s lap. You're a good man, Mike, he thinks. If Erwin hadn't been so friendly,I'd have tried your house next.

"I ought to get Nan a cat."

"I'm sure she'd love one, but I'm a little less sure about Reiner,” Erwin says, referring to Nanaba's massive German Shepherd.

"Oh, that big old oaf wouldn't hurt a fly. He'd probably love the company. I'd be more worried about the cat not liking _him_."

The football game switches to commercials. Mike reaches in his pocket and pulls out his keys. He twists a little laser pointer keychain and a bright red dot appears on the floor.

A sudden vengeful fervor seizes Levi. An urgent need fills his body. He leaps off the couch onto the floor in a frenzy, and a singular thought consumes his mind: you must defeat your arch-nemesis. _You must defeat the little red light._

"Don't tell me you haven't done this yet."

Erwin shakes his head. "I'm not _that_ cruel."

"What? _Cruel?_ Look, he _loves_ it!"

The two men laugh at Levi's absurd acrobatics as he leaps across the living room furniture in erratic patterns dictated by the flick of Mike's wrist. _Fuck_ , Levi thinks. He knows what a laser is. He _knows_ it's not real. He still cannot resist the passionate fury that drives him toward the light. Until he collides with a table leg, sending a decorative lamp to the floor.

Levi skitters into the corner, startled from the sound.

"Aw, shit. Sorry about that, Erwin."

"Don't worry about it, it's just the bulb that's broken. I'll replace it in the morning." He crouches down next to the cowering cat. "It's ok, buddy. Mike put you up to it. Come here."

 

**

 

But he doesn't replace the bulb in the morning. When Erwin walks into the living room with his coffee and the newspaper, it's already been fixed.

_ Wait. _

Something is not right in this house.

First, there's the tea from the other day he doesn't remember brewing. Then the laundry he doesn't remember starting, folding, _or_ putting away. Clean towels on the rack that he's positive weren't there before. The missing signs.

There's also the bookmarks moving around in his books. Dishes put away that he doesn't remember washing. An apple missing from the fruit bowl. And isn’t he missing a pair of gym shorts?

He sits down and takes a tentative sip of coffee. Am I going crazy? Is someone...breaking into my house?

He thinks about calling Mike. No, Mike will just laugh. Someone's been breaking into your house...to do completely trivial or beneficial things? Erwin grabs his keys from the hook by the door and opens the locked drawer of his desk. Everything's still there: passport, checks, social security card, emergency cash. Then he notices the desk: it's been cleaned. Everything is where he left it, but the faint layer of dust is gone.

Erwin grabs his phone and taps out a quick email to Grisha.

_Question for you when you get a chance. Can stress cause memory loss?_

A few minutes later, his phone buzzes with a reply.

_In some cases it can. Usually more so in cases of traumatic stress. I know things are still hard with the divorce._ _What is happening? Are you ok? I can get Rico to refer you to someone._

_Grisha_

Well shit, Erwin thinks. Is this a serious enough case for Rico? Or maybe Grisha meant Rico could refer him to a _counselor_ , not another psychiatrist. He sends Grisha a brief rundown of the strange events.

"Carla," Grisha calls, turning his laptop around so she can see it, "what do you think of this?"

Carla walks over from her workshop connected to the living room, shears in one hand, a spray of Queen Anne’s Lace in the other. She peers at the screen and shakes her head. "Someone needs to tell him...maybe when I send the boys over later. Mikasa, are you all right with that? Mr. Smith's been a friend of ours for a long time."

She looks up from her book and nods.

Erwin sees Grisha's reply.

_Probably stress, and grief. It will help to talk to someone. I'll get you a referral. These things get better._

_By the way, Carla and the boys have a housewarming gift you. Will you be home this afternoon?_

_G_

 

**

 

The cat still hasn't come back by the time the doorbell rings. Armin and Eren wait at the doorstep carrying one of Carla's exquisite bonsai trees and a heaping plate of cookies.

"Oh, _no_. You guys are too much. Come on in, you two." The boys grin at each other. "Eren, this is gorgeous," Erwin says, taking the tiny flowering tree and putting it on the kitchen table. "I just hope I don't kill it. And it's a good thing I've got company tonight. Y'all brought me enough cookies for twenty people."

They chat on the porch. Light topics. Summer vacation, the new house. Eren convinces Armin to join the cross country team. He agrees,but only if Erwin agrees to coach with Hange. It's a deal.

Erwin brings another pitcher of iced tea out to the porch when he notices the boys looking suddenly grave.

"So... We have to ask you something," Eren says, fidgeting slightly.

"This is going to sound really, _really_ weird. But hear us out," Armin adds.

"Have you, uh, had any visits from _animals_ lately? Like in an unusual way?" Eren asks.

There's a moment of awkward silence.

"I adopted a cat recently. Why?"

The two boys look at each other nervously.

"Was it a stray?" Armin asks. Erwin nods.

"Is he really smart?" Again, yes.

"Like, maybe a little... _too_ smart? Like he knows what you're saying?"

Erwin feels a slight chill. "Yes...very much so. He's an exceptionally smart cat. Why are you asking me this?"

But they keep going.

"So, has anyone from the government tried to contact you? Or like, have you seen any unusual cars or vans in the neighborhood?"

"Armin, what are you _talking_ about?" Erwin can't tell if he's more impatient or unnerved.

"I'm sorry... I know this all sounds so weird, but please hear me out..."

Eren relieves him.  "Have you noticed anything weird happening around your house? Stuff showing up where it shouldn't be?"

"Yes. Eren, tell me what this is about."

They look at each other again.

"We think you might have a shifter," Armin says in a weak voice.

"A _what_?"

"So..." Eren starts, "If it turned out that your cat actually _was_ really smart...like as smart as a _human_...would that explain some of the weird stuff that's been happening?"

Erwin sits still for a moment, then shakes his head.  "I thought all that was just an urban legend."

Armin shakes his head very slowly. Erwin bristles. There's no reason his own physician, a family friend, would send two of his own students to play some cruel gaslighting prank. But this is absurd.

"Mr. Smith..." he starts, "Dr. Jaeger asked us to tell you while we were over here."

"We don't even talk about it over the phone or over email,"Eren says. "I mean, it's kinda paranoid, but we can't risk it. The only reason we even know about it is because... this is how we found Mikasa."

"What?" Erwin pictures Eren's foster sister, the reserved girl he's met a handful of times. Friendly but shy. Homeschooled, a competitive martial artist, yet also often mysteriously ill.

"There's something you have to know about the shifters," Armin says. "People hear these stories, and they think it's like you just snap your fingers and you're a dog or something. But it's not like that all. You can't really…control it. You don't really pick when it happens. And the changes can be _super_ painful, Mikasa says it can feel like being set on fire, or like being electrocuted.”

Erwin feels a wave of terror at the realization that there really _has_ been someone in his house, followed closely by terror at Levi's tenuous fate.

"Mikasa's gotten a lot better," Eren says. "The past two years or so, she says it doesn't hurt anymore, and she can go days or even weeks without shifting. She can just about control it, and change at will. But it's taken years to get that way."

This is too elaborate to be a lie, Erwin thinks. And he realizes he's never seen Mikasa and the Jaegers' black cat in the same room.

"Mr. Smith, please don't tell anyone about this," Armin says imploringly.

"My dad wanted me to tell you," Eren says, "you have to be careful. We know of a few others, but it's extremely rare."

"They're not dangerous,"Armin adds quickly. "Most of them are just normal people just trying to get by. But the government is trying to study them, and..." his voice goes dry.

"It's _really_ bad. My dad says he's seen the labs. In medical school. There's not many; he only knows about it because his school got a shit ton of money to run one for the government and recruit researchers. There's like, no oversight at all since they keep it a secret from the public. But he says it was awful, and they do terrible things to people to get them to shift. They had to sign all these non-disclosure agreements and stuff. It's super messed up. In fact, there's probably other stuff like this that he hasn't even told us about; it's like, Area 51 kind of stuff."

Erwin nods.

"We can't let them get to Mikasa. Dr. Jaeger would go to prison, and we don't even know what would happen to Mikasa. We know of a couple people that got taken, but we never heard from them again after that. If you have a shifter living with you..." Armin says with a strained voice, "he probably needs help."

"Jesus Christ," Erwin mutters. So he's harboring a fugitive.

"There's also... other people...that know about them," Armin continues. "They're not from the government, though. Or, I guess they could be. But for them, the shifters are like...kind of a hobby..." He can't say any more.

"That's sick."

"These the kind of people Mikasa escaped from," Eren says. "This is why you shouldn't tell _anybody_ about Levi."

"I see."

The boys get up to leave.

"Hey, you two,"Erwin asks as they open the front door, "what...should I do now?"

They pause for a minute. "He's probably going to keep giving you clues that he's human,"Armin says.

"I think," Eren muses, "you should give him hints that you know. Don't confront him, cause that might freak him out. Just like, drop hints. If you need to talk about it, call my dad, but say it's about something else and that you want to meet in person. Or like, pretend to make an appointment."

"I see," Erwin says. "Thank you for telling me."

"Oh," Armin adds, "you don't have to let him stay with you if you don't want to. But if he knows you know what he is and you won't tell, it'll make his search for a sponsor a lot easier."

"A sponsor?"

"Oh, sorry. Someone who hides a shifter or helps them blend in to society. Like the Jaegers do for Mikasa."

"Got it."

He waves as they drive off. When he walks back inside, Levi is sitting on the kitchen table,examining the bonsai tree.

 

**

 

Erwin stands still in the kitchen and looks at the cat. His body feels slightly numb from the shock—of the home invasion, and the eerie confirmation from Eren and Armin. He reaches out his hand and Levi immediately begins to purr and rub his head against it.

He’s embarrassed, he realizes. He’s been talking to himself around the cat for nearly two weeks now. Hypothetically, he had thought, wouldn’t it be nice if the cat really understood him? He certainly _felt_ understood. And it had made a world of difference.

What kind of person are you? Erwin wonders. Clean, for certain. Affectionate. Devoted, following him around like a little bodyguard.

“Levi,” Erwin says softly. “What did I tell you about getting on the table?”

The cat goes still. 

“Come here.” He picks up the cat and carries him into the living room. Levi rests his head on Erwin’s shoulder, purring loudly in his ear. They sit on the couch in silence while Erwin thinks. Surely not all cats are so affectionate. Or so vocal, or so responsive. Some just ignore you. Some claw the shit out of the furniture. This one’s got plenty of sass, for sure. But still…

Shit, he thinks. You’re a _person_. You could be a _child_ , for all I know. Or an adult. You could be anyone. Presumably male; shifters don’t switch genders when they shift forms, do they? Would that make it better, or worse? Shit. The cat always sits on his lap, even when he’s working. Does he have Erwin’s computer passwords? Did he see the search history? Does he even care?

Levi relishes the weight of Erwin’s hands coursing down his fur. The sensation of touch is blissful. He lets himself melt against Erwin’s chest, his head still resting on the man’s shoulder. He adores this man; there’s no pretending otherwise. And he knows the man loves having a cat. But the thought of revealing his human form fills him with dread. He loves having a silent animal, Levi thinks. Someone who listens, but never talks. And the thought crushes him.

Erwin sighs. He’s a brilliant cat. But what kind of _person_? The question grates at him. He wants to know. They can find somewhere else for him to stay if they have to. Maybe even with the Jaegers, especially if Levi is young. But what if…well…he has to find out. 

Eren’s suggestion was to drop hints. 

Erwin scritches Levi behind the ears. “You sure are good company for a lonely old man.”

Levi flurfles in disapproval. Goddamn it, Erwin, he thinks. Don’t call yourself old. You’re making _me_ feel old!

“I wonder where you came from, buddy. You know all this stuff about me, but I don’t know anything about you. Sure would be nice if you could talk.”

Levi feels nervous. Does he know?

The doorbell rings. Petra and Oulo wave through the front door windows.

“Suppertime, kiddo.”

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I super appreciate the nice comments y'all have been leaving me! I'm so happy people have been enjoying this so far. This is the first multi-chapter fic I've done, and the encouragement means a lot.


	5. Get off my property

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi learns more about Erwin's marriage before Kenny finally catches up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note, this chapter mentions guns, blood, injury, and violence.

The sound of Petra and Gunther’s guitars drifts in through the windows, punctuated with Erd’s mandolin. Levi misses singing, he thinks. He likes the sound of Petra’s voice especially.  He weaves through Erwin and Oulo’s feet as they wash and put away the dishes.

“So how are you _really_ doing?” Oulo asks bluntly. “You _seem_ great every time we see you. But we’ve been gone so much this year we’ve barely had time to even talk to you.”

Erwin sets a plate back in the cupboard. “I’m…ok,” he says. “I think the more time goes by, the more I realize she was right. It was never going to work.”

“Well, sometimes you can’t know these things until you try it,” Oulo says, taking a cookie from the platter. “It’s not like any of us saw it coming, and we’ve been friends with y’all for years.”

“I still miss her, though,” Erwin says. “At this point I’m not even sure I’d take her back if she wanted me. It doesn’t feel right. But I miss her. I want her in my life in some way, just not as my wife, I guess.”

“Well, it’s not like you weren’t married for five years for a reason,” Oulo says sardonically. Then his tone softens. “And that time may come. I think she’s worried about you, but she doesn’t want to make it worse.”

Erwin gets it. But the silence still stings. “How’s she doing?”

“She’s all right. She’s still shaken up. She feels guilty. She invited Petra and me to some dinner thing last week, but we decided not to go.”

“Well don’t feel like you have to pick sides.”

“Oh, no, that’s not it. It just didn’t feel right. We knew her new…partner? ladyfriend? Hell, I don’t know, her new _person_ was going to be there, and it just seemed too soon.”

Erwin pours himself a liberal glass of wine.

“You want to hear something funny?” Oulo asks. “I think Nile is planning on making a move.”

Erwin nearly spits out his wine and Oulo chuckles dryly, “Someone’s gonna’ be _real_ disappointed…I’m not gonna’ tell him. I’m gonna’ let him see what happens.”

“Maybe someone ought to tell him for Marie’s sake,” Erwin says. “You know…I always kind of wondered. I just didn’t want to believe it. When we got married, I thought that was it. I just thought, you have to know. And then I realized I had this image of who I wanted her to be, and that image was not the woman I married.”

“Well, how long did it take you to realize you were into men?”

Erwin sighs. “That’s the reason I can’t be too mad at Marie. I got lucky, I guess; I could keep that sort of thing a secret, since I always dated women, but she couldn’t.” He takes another sip of wine. “You might not remember this, but I’m the reason Nile knows he’s not gay.”

Oulo howls with laughter. “Aw, hell, I’d forgotten about that. But I don’t think he’s quite as straight as he claims to be.”

Erwin nods. “He’ll deny it to the grave, but he enjoyed himself.”

Oulo grins smugly. “You been thinking of seeing of anyone?”

Erwin sighs. “It’s too soon. Plus, I’m damaged goods, right? Classes start next week anyways, I don’t even know when I’m gonna’ have time to meet anybody.” He picks the cat up gently off the floor. “Fortunately,” he says, rubbing Levi’s belly, “I got this fine cat here lookin’ after me.”

 

**

 

He can’t sleep. Then he hears a sound: a low yowl. Then a hiss. Then a cry.

Erwin gets out of bed and walks to the back porch. In the yard he sees Levi and—shit, is that a raccoon?

No, it’s another cat, but gray with dark stripes. They’re fighting. Levi swats at the other cat’s face and the two circle each other. Erwin wonders whether he should intervene. No, he thinks. Levi’s a fighter. And that sounds like a great way to get his eyes clawed out. He decides to go lie back down.

The hissing continues. The gray cat pins Levi to the ground and begins to twist and grow. Kenny kneels in the yard, clutching Levi’s body in his bony hands. Levi gnaws at his hands, but Kenny doesn’t let go.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, you’re not even gonna’ fucking _talk_ to me?”Kenny spits at Levi in a dry, raspy whisper. He grips the cat harder and pushes him into the ground. Levi lets out the closest sound he can make to a scream. “Stop shitting around and fucking _change_ already!” 

But Kenny’s voice is just loud enough to rouse Erwin.

“I have a deal to make you if you would just—fucking— _change!_ ” 

Levi continues to hiss and thrash. Kenny stands up and shakes the cat viciously. “Uri says he’ll take you back, you little piece of shit! Give you a job and everything! The fuck you came all the way out here for?” He holds the cat at arm’s length and stares in his face. “I’m gonna’ give you one more chance…” 

But Levi holds still. He can’t do it. The pain in his body from Kenny’s grip is too strong. He doesn’t want to shift, and he can’t even if he did. 

“God _damn_ it!” Kenny throws Levi’s limp body on the ground.

Just as he begins to grind his heel into the cat’s cracking ribcage, he hears someone cock a gun.

“Get off my property.”

Erwin’s voice is frigid. He points the handgun at the gaunt, naked man standing on his lawn. Kenny backs away, wide-eyed. But with each step, the man’s body begins to melt and contort as if a current of static is running up his spine. Then the gray cat bolts across the lawn into the darkness. 

Erwin is too stunned to shoot. He stands bewildered for a moment.

_Fuck._

Levi! 

He shoves the gun under a cushion on the porch and runs down the stairs. He delicately picks up the cat’s limp body and carries him into the house. Levi’s face is covered in little gashes and his torso…shouldn’t look like that. Erwin’s pretty sure he’s feeling bones where they shouldn’t be. But the cat is still breathing. 

“Hang in there, kiddo…you’re gonna’ be all right…”

He runs to the computer and picks out the address of the emergency vet clinic. He grabs a clean towel and wraps up the bleeding cat. At four in the morning, he has no regard for traffic lights. 


	6. Animal intelligence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin doesn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this.

Erwin. Erwin, you _idiot_ , he says to himself. He looks at his reflection in the bathroom mirror of the vet clinic. His face and sweatshirt are smeared with the cat’s blood. He has dark circles under his eyes. If you had just gone and gotten your cat, none of this would have happened, he thinks. It would have been worth a face full of claw marks. Even an eyepatch for a week or two. Was it because of the signs? He splashes cold water onto his face and washes his hands. 

He sits down in the waiting room. A Doberman Pinscher lying on the floor nearby looks up at him with nervous-looking eyes. A tall, broad, blonde young man in blue scrubs scans Erwin’s paperwork at the front desk. He looks almost too young to be there, in spite of his stature. Like he could be one of Erwin’s students. 

“Is it all right if I pet him?” Erwin asks, motioning to the dog.

“Oh, sure; he’s friendly.” The young man says, looking up from the computer screen.

Erwin reaches his hand down. The dog sniffs him and moves a little closer. Erwin scratches his ears, and the dog lets out a happy little whine. 

“Is he yours?”

“No, he’s Dr. Dreyse’s, actually. But sometimes he keeps us company on the night shifts,” the man says warmly. 

I’m glad he’s here, Erwin thinks. It makes him realize how much being around an animal really does calm him down. The dog sinks his face between his paws as Erwin rubs his head, the little nub of his tail swishing happily. 

The wait feels like an eternity. 

The man at the desk stands up and stretches. He squints his eyes as if in pain. He pushes a button on the intercom on the wall.

“Hey Bert, can you fill in for me?”

There’s no answer. The room is quiet for a few more minutes except for the clacking of the keyboard and the occasional happy whimper from the Doberman. Then the dog stands up and walks up to the desk. The blonde man pats him on the head. The dog saunters off down the hallway.

Finally the exam room door opens and a young blonde woman in gray scrubs approaches Erwin.

“Mr. Smith? We think Levi is going to be fine, but Dr. Dreyse’s going to have to operate. Can you fill this out for me?” She hands him a clipboard. As he takes it from her, he notices that one of her eyes is green and the other is blue. 

“Annie, I’m gonna’ take a break,” the blonde man says. “Bert’s filling in for me,”

“That’s fine,” she says. “Tell him I’m going into surgery?”

“Yeah, no problem,” he says, disappearing down the hall.

An uncommonly tall, brown-haired man with huge brown eyes walks in. “Oh, there you are,” Annie says. “Dreyse’s going to operate. Can you do Mr. Smith’s exit paperwork?”

“Yeah, of course,” he says. His voice is unusually soft for a man of his height, Erwin thinks. But then, he also looks young, like he could be one of Erwin’s juniors or seniors. He sits down across from Erwin with another clipboard and a pen. Erwin notices his name tag. _Bertolt._ Didn’t Hitch say that was her dog’s name? Isn’t Hitch’s mom a veterinarian? 

“Can I ask you a few more questions about Levi?” he says shyly.

“Certainly.”

A familiar looking German Shepherd walks into the waiting room and lays down on a fluffy bed in the corner. 

“Has he been exhibiting any strange behavior prior to his accident?” Bertolt asks.

Erwin sits still for a moment.

“Could you…give me an example?” He asks. The young man looks exceptionally nervous, he thinks.

“Uh…any… _physical_ changes?”

Erwin meets the man’s gaze and suddenly knows.

“Yes,” he says gravely. “Some very… _significant_ ones. Hard to even believe, I would say.”

Bertolt’s large eyes grow even wider. “Have you been contacted by any government agencies recently?” He asks. He has a whole litany of lies about pet-borne diseases and vaccinations memorized, fake brochures and all, just in case. 

“No,” Erwin says softly. The young man nods. He exhales heavily and drops the act.

“How long are Levi’s cycles right now?”

“I don’t know,” Erwin says. “I’ve never seen it happen. I just adopted him a few weeks ago.”

“Do you know when his last one was?” 

Erwin shakes his head. Bertolt is now visibly sweating through his scrubs. He rushes to the wall and punches in the intercom.

“Annie, call Dr. Dreyse,” he says, short of breath.

“What’s happening?” is the staticky reply.

“We have a type two patient. Unstabilized. No info on his last cycle.”

“I’m on it,” crackles through the speaker on the wall.

Bertolt turns back to Erwin. “This could…be a big problem,” he says shakily. “If Levi starts to transition during the surgery…he might not make it.”

Erwin just nods, the heat and moisture starting to build behind his eyes. 

“I’m so sorry,” Bertolt says softly. “We’ll give you a call when the surgery is over.”

Erwin walks out to the empty parking lot, sits down in the driver’s seat of his car, and cries. 

 

**

 

The phone call wakes him up. He recognizes the young woman’s voice.

“Mr. Smith? The surgery was a success. You can come pick up Levi.”

Erwin feels himself deflate with relief. “Thank you, I’ll be there in about half an hour.”

“Take your time,” Annie says. “He’s still waking up from the anesthesia. He’s going to need to sleep a lot for the next few days, probably.”

He makes himself a strong cup of coffee before climbing into the car.

 

**

 

He pushes open the door to the vet’s office, lively during the daytime. An older woman holds a terrified-looking Pomeranian; a tired-looking Saint Bernard lays at a younger woman’s feet. Erwin notices a white cat sitting on the reception desk with one green eye and one blue eye. Interesting.

The broad, blonde man from before brings Levi to Erwin in a shallow cardboard box filled with blankets. He catches a glimpse of the man’s name tag. _Reiner._ You’ve got to be kidding me, he thinks. 

When he reaches the house, he lays the comatose cat gingerly on his bed. He gives Levi a few gentle strokes and heaves a heavy sigh. Might as well go about his day, he thinks. He’s had too much coffee to sleep, anyways. He’s furious with Mike. Mike _must_ have known. But now’s not the time. 

He finishes a lesson plan; mows the catastrophic jungle of the lawn; goes for a run along the beach. But he can’t concentrate. He keeps thinking about the cat. 

He throws his sweaty running clothes into the laundry and showers. When he opens the bedroom door with his towel wrapped around his waist, the cat is not there. 

A dark-haired figure lies facing away from Erwin, deeply asleep. Erwin comes closer, walking silently. 

So. _This_ is Levi.

He sits down slowly on the edge of the bed. The man has glossy black hair, shaved at the nape, but hanging in his eyes. Erwin’s not sure which surprises him more: how short the man is, how pale his skin is, or how densely muscular he looks. But he’s clearly an adult. Erwin notices his strangely delicate-looking wrists, his slightly-too-long fingernails, his squarish face with a small, sharp nose, and a sharp jawline. The effect is striking.

I don’t know what I was expecting, Erwin thinks. But definitely not this. He collects himself and considers the man again. He notices something. Levi has scars on his body, but no bruises, no signs of recent injury. He runs his fingers lightly through Levi’s hair, which feels unsettlingly like his cat form’s fur. He’s still delirious, not fully awake. Erwin wonders if the transition back to human was painful with the lingering effects of the anesthesia, or if Levi had some peace this time. 

Levi’s eyes flutter open for a moment, unfocused, but the same crystalline gray-blue. 


	7. Rescue

The little pile of cat toys lies untouched on the living room floor. Maybe I should get rid of them, Erwin thinks. He can hardly imagine an adult man being excited about some tinsel and feathers on the end of a string. But he can't bring himself to do it quite yet. He takes the little felt catnip mouse and sets it next to the furry pile of sleeping Levi taking up residence on his pillow. He tries to check on the cat every hour or so. A profound somnolence has overcome him.

Taking care of the cat is not too difficult. He accepts small amounts of water, though he refuses all food. I suppose most animals fast when they're sick, Erwin thinks. Levi seems to be healing quickly. But how much of that is typical of a cat, and how much of that has to do with Levi's unusual physiology, Erwin can't say.

He misses the cat, even with his refusals to eat anything but fish, and the occasional bites on the hand. But what he really wants, he realizes, is to see the man again. He wants to hear his voice. Erwin hopes the strange, unsettlingly beautiful man will be in his bed when he gets back. Maybe even awake. Maybe even in the mood to talk.

He changes into his running clothes, grabs his keys and phone, and meets Mike and Reiner waiting in the driveway. He notices Mike holding the leash in a coil, not attached to the huge dog; when he reaches down to pet Reiner, he sees the breakaway buckle on the back of his collar. Makes sense, he thinks.

"How's your little patient doing?" Mike asks as they set off at an easy pace down the oak-lined trail.

"Sleeping like a rock," Erwin says. They make their way deeper into the park, the thick afternoon air tempered by a cool breeze from the water.

"Mike, we gotta' talk," Erwin says, glancing down at Reiner trotting alongside them contentedly. "When were you going to tell me about Reiner? And Levi?"

Mike laughs. "I wasn't." He turns to Erwin. "Think about it. Look at this here dog I got. He looks like a normal dog, right?"

Erwin rolls his eyes and takes the bait.

"Now, if I had told you three weeks ago, 'look Erwin, look at this here dog. This dog works the night shift at an animal hospital,' you'd have told me I was out of my goddamn mind."

Well, he's not wrong, Erwin thinks.

"Listen, Erwin, it's not that I don't trust you or anything like that. Believe me, things are gonna' get a whole lot easier for Reiner now that we know another shifter, and now that we got one more person he can be himself around, ain't that right boy?" Reiner barks happily. "But come on now, the cat told you to use a goddamn coaster. He told you his name, for Christ's sake! If you didn't think there was somethin' weird about that, then I think that's on you."

Erwin tries to temper his exasperation with Mike. This is his best friend. He doesn't want to be angry. But he can't help the little knot of tension growing in his chest.

"All right, fine, you make a good point," Erwin says, picking up the pace slightly. "But think about it this way. Up until last week, I've got no evidence of such a thing even being possible. In that world, there are no shifters, just strangely smart animals. Let's say you and I are watching the game, and I tell you I think my cat might be more than a cat. How am I supposed to even _think_ of that? And if I do, you're gonna' look at me like I'm a total lunatic."

Mike laughs again, a satisfying bellow. "Yeah, that's fair."

They finish the first mile and sit on the edge of a huge stone fountain for Reiner to take a break. The dog drinks deeply from the cold water.

"I'm not tryin' to make your life more difficult, Erwin," Mike says, patting Reiner's flank. "It's just that Nan and I have to be careful. You talk to Grisha?"

"Yeah, he sent the boys over. They told me about Mikasa, the whole deal."

"She's a good kid," Mike says as Reiner shakes droplets of water all over the two men. "Reiner, too. You remember Dr. Dreyse? She's got a couple of 'em livin' with her, too. Real good kids, all of 'em. How old is Levi?"

Erwin realizes he doesn't know. "He looks our age, maybe a little younger; late twenties, early thirties. But I haven't been able to ask him. How about Reiner?"

"We think sixteen, but no one really knows. He's got some memory loss. But I've never seen one that old. We got the feeling most of 'em don't make it that long."

Reiner wags his tail and the three pick up their run. They reach a secluded glade of the park where palmettos close in around the trail.

"Guess I might as well tell you," Mike says. "Nan and I've been trying to get pregnant for a couple years now, but no luck."

"Mike...I'm sorry to hear that." Erwin slows down to a walk and looks at his friend.

"It might still happen, who knows," Mike says, but Erwin detects the resignation in his voice. "You know Dr. Freudenberg? My kicker Marlowe's mom?” Erwin can’t tell if he’s changing the subject on purpose.

"We've met once or twice. They came down from Atlanta a couple years ago, right?"

"Yup," Mike says as they turn a corner into a shade-filled cemetery. "She was in school with Grisha way back. Official story is she worked for the CDC, but it's not true. She did research all right, but not there. She got brought on for the shifters project. When she figured out what they were doing to those kids she quit on the spot. But what they never figured out is that she snuck some of the kids down with her when she left. That's how Nan and I got Reiner here. If he stayed with the Freudenberg's, it'd have been too suspicious."

They find a concrete bench under an enormous live oak.

"We figured," Mike continues, "if it turns out we never could have kids of our own...we still wanted to do something."

"God, Mike..." Erwin shakes his head. "I had no idea."

Mike gazes into the distance.

"You know what I really regret?" He turns toward Erwin, looking grave. "I can't get Reiner on the football team. You outta' see how this kid can throw a football!" He lets out another hearty laugh and rubs Reiner's ears. "Ain't that right, boy?" Reiner howls in agreement.

They finish their circuit, another two miles through the park. As Mike drives off, Erwin notices the silhouette of the young blonde man wiping his face in passenger window of the pickup truck.

Erwin strips off his sweat-drenched shirt. Levi is still a cat, but clutching the little mouse to his chest, which makes Erwin smile.

 

**

 

He feels something moving. Erwin sits up in bed and looks around. The cat lies still beside him, but something is off. An atmosphere of strangeness has descended into the room, as if the air is somehow thicker and more conductive, as though it might ignite. He looks at Levi. The air above him seems to crackle without making a sound. The cat's spine seems to glow without giving off any light.

Then it happens. The cat's body grows longer; the dark fur shrinks back into Levi's skin. Human hands and feet unfold from his paws as his tail retracts into his spine. Erwin finds the transformation profoundly bizarre; grotesque, yet strangely beautiful at the same time. An unseen force pulls the man upright in bed.

His eyes snap open. He convulses forward, gripping the sheets. His face contorts into a gruesome sneer.

" _Where is he.._." Levi growls. " _I'm going to kill him—_ "

Erwin switches on the lamp on the bedside table and a soft glow fills the room. Levi's face jerks toward him and his expression changes to terror.

"What the—where am I—" His voice has a faint hissing quality to it.

"Levi, it's ok," Erwin says, reaching out a hand to steady the shaking man. Levi looks anxiously around the room, still processing that he's no longer fighting in Erwin's yard. "Levi, you're ok. Everything's all right." He grips Levi's shoulders lightly. Levi meets his gaze and recoils. He becomes aware of his human body.

Oh, no. Oh, _shit,_ no. This is _not_ what he had in mind, not what he pictured at all. This is not how he intended to show himself to Erwin: naked in his bed, in a cold, panicked sweat. He twists out of Erwin's grip, draws his knees to his chest, and rubs his face with his hands.

"Levi?" Erwin reaches out to lightly stroke Levi's back, and the man shudders. "Hey, it's all right. Don't worry. Nobody's gonna' hurt you." Another involuntary tremor passes through him.

"What happened?" he asks in a quiet, terrified rasp. "Why—why am I here?"

Erwin is confused. "You got in a fight—"

"When?" Levi asks urgently, gazing forward as if at something only he can see.

"Three days ago. Someone came for you. A shifter...he was a gray cat. He's gone now."

Levi turns back to Erwin, still wide-eyed with panic. His eyes are long and narrow, with a faint darkness surrounding them, making his pale irises look brighter. "Did he come back?"

"No," Erwin says. "I pulled a gun on him and he ran off."

"Fuck." Levi wraps his arms around his knees and sinks his face into them. He tries not to cry.

"Levi? What's the matter?"

Levi just shakes his head. No one has ever stood up for him like that before. "Did you call the police?"

"No...I didn't think getting them involved would be a good idea. Hey, don't worry...nobody knows about this that's not supposed to know about it, ok? I got a few friends taking care of people like you. They told me not to tell, so nobody's going to find out, ok?"

Thank god, Levi thinks. He heaves a heavy sigh. There's a moment of silence.

"Levi...is it ok if I touch you?"

Levi freezes, confused by the question. "What? Oh. Yeah. Of course," he says, face still hidden.

Erwin slides closer to Levi and lightly runs his hand down Levi's neck and back, eliciting another sigh. He strokes Levi's hair and feels a little of the tension leaving Levi's body.

"What else happened?" Levi asks in a light, quiet voice.

Erwin keeps slowly stroking Levi's head and back. "I heard you fighting. I figured it was just another cat. Then I heard a voice and got my handgun from the drawer. This awful-looking guy was out in the yard, it looked like he was trying to kill you. I threatened to shoot him, and he started to change right in front of me. Guess he knew it'd probably startle me, which it did."

Levi raises his head, still not looking at Erwin. His breathing becomes a little slower and more even.

"You had to have surgery. Do you remember?" Levi shakes his head 'no.' "You were a cat...I had to take you to the clinic."

"Shit," Levi mutters. "Shifting back is gonna' be hell."

"Do you want any pain medicine?"

"It doesn't work."

"Are you sure?" Erwin drapes his arm across Levi's shoulders.

"Trust me, I've tried everything," Levi says with an almost-sneer. He glances up at Erwin for a remorseful second, then looks back down at the bed.

"At least let me get you some water. Are you hungry?" Levi shakes his head 'no.' "Do you want some tea?" He shakes he head yes. Erwin throws on his bathrobe and walks to the kitchen.

Levi has a strange way of holding the teacup that makes Erwin worry he's going to burn his hands. But he doesn't say anything; he can only imagine how high Levi's tolerance for pain must be. Levi sips the tea slowly and methodically, as if it were a divine potion, gradually relaxing him.

"You can stay here as long as you need to, you know," Erwin says.

Levi gazes up at him slowly. "Thank you," he says quietly. He places the empty teacup on the night table.

"You don't have to stay in this room, either."

Levi looks suddenly uncomfortable. "You don't want me to stay in here?"

"No—" Erwin says, slightly shocked. "I...like having you stay in here with me. I just...wanted to offer..."

"I like staying in here with you," Levi says plainly. "Can I?"

"Of course." The strangeness of it all will hit him later. For now he looks at Levi, still dazed that this is who the little cat turned out to be. "Hey..." he says with a touch of hesitation. "Come here."

He reaches out his arms and Levi obliges, sliding onto Erwin's lap, wrapping his arms around Erwin's waist. He lays his head on Erwin's shoulder, as usual. Erwin is uneasily surprised at how good it feels to touch and hold another person, how the heat from Levi's body seems to sink into him. If holding the cat was comforting, holding Levi as a human is on another level all together. He feels a few drops of hot water fall onto his shoulder. He reaches over to shut off the light, pulls Levi closer, and kisses the top of his head.


	8. White scarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finally gets dressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the encouraging comments! I really appreciate them. I have a pretty good idea of where the story's going, but suggestions are appreciated, too.

The chattery shorebirds wake Erwin up before his alarm. In the dim light from the drawn shades, Levi's skin has an almost lunar glow.

He shuts the alarm off to avoid disturbing Levi, but he seems so deeply asleep, Erwin wonders if it matters. He's surprised to see the man still lying in his bed; he looks still, but not peaceful. Did he shift overnight? When will it happen next? There's so much Erwin wants to ask him before he loses the use of his voice again. He selfishly wishes Levi could control it, decide when to take which form. Is such a thing even possible? He makes a mental note to talk to Grisha.

Levi is just beginning to stir when Erwin walks back in from the kitchen with the tray; coffee for himself, tea for Levi.

"Oh," Levi says dejectedly, sitting up.

"What's the matter?"

"I was going to make you coffee. You beat me to it."

Erwin scoffs. "Levi. One of us has just undergone a major medical procedure, and it wasn't me." He hands Levi the teacup and gives him another kiss on the head. "You can cool it on the housekeeping until you get better, ok?"

"Fine," he says taking a decadent sip of tea.

"For what it's worth, you really don't need to do any of that stuff at all. It's not that I don't appreciate it, but I don't expect you to clean my house—“

"No, I know," Levi says. "But trust me. It needs it."

Erwin laughs. He reaches over and runs his hand through Levi's hair, earning an involuntary smile. "Are you hungry?"

Levi shakes his head. "This always happens when I get injured. I lose my appetite. It'll be back with a vengeance soon enough. "

"I'll be sure to have some fish in the fridge for when it does," Erwin says, unnerved at Levi's use of the word 'always.'

"Please," Levi replies with a satisfied grin.

It's been a while, Erwin thinks, since he's woken up with anyone. Marie was a tea drinker, too. A vivid dreamer. Her unruly hair seemed to form its own new architecture each night, and Erwin took great pleasure in helping her gently tame it with a wide-toothed comb. His nostalgia for Marie and fascination with Levi do a bittersweet tango through his slightly foggy mind.

"You all right?" Levi asks after a moment.

"Still waking up." Erwin takes another sip of coffee.

They spend a few quiet moments sipping their drinks in bed. Levi sets his cup back on the tray and sidles up to Erwin, who wraps his arm around Levi's waist. What am I doing, Erwin thinks. It feels natural to touch the cat; the cat is freely and indulgently affectionate, free of qualms and social mores. But to so easily and readily touch the other man... It's not that Erwin doesn't want it. He does, with an urgency that unsettles him. But what does Levi want? And who is he, really?

Levi leans his head against Erwin’s chest. "I don't want to shift again," he says with quiet dread.

"You can't stop it?" Erwin asks.

"Sometimes you can. But if you stave it off too long, it makes you weaker. Then it makes the cycles faster. It fucks everything up. If you're injured, forget it. It's unbearable,” he says with a slight shudder.

Erwin sets down his coffee and lets his other hand find Levi's waist. "You were already injured when you got here, weren't you?"

Levi shakes his head. "A few weeks before. But that was this form, not the cat form." He examines a series of faint scars across his knuckles. "I'm over it now."

Erwin draws Levi a little closer. "So you can't predict when it's going to happen?"

"I used to be able to. Some of us can. But it takes a long time for the cycles to become predictable. And you can't interrupt them. You have to let then run their course. That's when they start to even out." Levi sighs and leans into Erwin. It sounds miserable, Erwin thinks. Impossible.

He would be more embarrassed if Levi didn't seem to gravitate toward him so much. The more Levi touches him as a human, the more convinced he becomes that the cat's affection was genuine, not just a desperate ploy for food and shelter.

Erwin’s phone buzzes: an email from Hange, the schedule of practices and meets for the season. "I should start getting ready to go." Levi nods and stretches back out on the bed. He feigns nonchalance. He doesn't want Erwin to leave.

Erwin opens the drawer of workout clothes, all folded more neatly than he would ever have had the patience for. "Have you seen my gray shorts?"

"I stole them," Levi says casually. Erwin gives him a quizzical look. "I had to hide some clothes in case I needed to run again."

Erwin feels a flood of pity.

"Besides, they're too small on you anyways," Levi says with a wry smile.

"Shit," Erwin says with embarrassment, but not about the shorts. "I don't have anything for you to wear."

"Why would you?" Levi asks, still sipping the tea. "Besides, I don't just wander around naked, you know, in case you were wondering. I used to have perfectly nice clothes."

Erwin sits back down on the bed and picks up his coffee. "I believe it," he says. "What happened?"

"Kenny burned them," Levi says matter-of-factly, without a trace of self-pity.

"Who's Kenny?"

"A sadistic bastard who likes to make my life hell. He's the gray cat who came after me. He's also, incidentally, my uncle."

Erwin is deeply confused. "Why would he take your clothes?"

"It's a way to kick someone out. Ostracize them. A shifter, anyway. Your body changes, but your clothes don't come with you, so you have to time it right. Forces you to hide. Makes you start over. We've had it done to us before, it's not like it was some original idea." Erwin begins to regret not firing the gun while he had the chance. "I don't usually break into houses, either, just so you know."

"I'd hardly call what you did breaking in," Erwin says. "In fact if I recall, I invited you."

"Tch. You know what I mean." His voice is a little hiss, a mix of exasperation and sorrow.

Erwin wishes the first cross country team meeting could have been any other day, some time when Levi was still dead to the world, healing in cat form. He wants to know more, but doesn't want to push it. He's still adjusting to the novelty of Levi, of him having a voice. There's a quiet urgency lurking behind the dry, sardonic lilt to Levi's speech. Erwin assumes it comes from a lifetime of being deprived of a voice at unpredictable intervals. "What'd he kick you out for?"

"We used to work for the same boss," Levi says with a bitter twinge. "I got sick of it. I decided to leave, and you'd have thought I'd defamed something sacred, the way he howled on about it. He's a fucking coward. He doesn't want anyone who knows what he is out of his sight." He sighs and gazes up at the ceiling. "We got in a fight. I'm sure that surprises you. In any case, he decided if I was going, I was starting from scratch."

Erwin looks concerned. "Should I be worried about this man?"

"I doubt it," Levi says more softly. "You got your point across. If it were just me here, he'd come finish me off. But he won't risk being exposed. If he hasn't come back already, he's probably not going to. Not for a while, anyway."

"I see." Erwin puts on his running clothes and checks his phone. He walks back over to Levi. "You want some more tea?"

"Tch. Always," he says with a wry smile.

Erwin brings Levi a fresh cup, which he accepts reverently. "Levi...is there anyone else I need to know about?"

He shakes his head. Not that I haven't already finished off, he thinks. "There's always the feds, but you know about that." He sips the tea gratefully. "There's the auction."

"Please tell me that's not what it sounds like."

"It is," he says distantly. "But as for people that know my name and face?” He shakes his head with a sneer. “Kenny's pretty much the only one left. He's the only one with enough dirt on me to matter, anyways. And the only one with any bad blood." Erwin looks uneasy and unconvinced. "I should be fine," Levi says, trying to be reassuring. "As long as you're careful about who you tell. And I trust you," he adds.

Erwin nods and soaks in the implications of being trusted. "I just don't want anything to happen to you."

"Tch." Levi stares into his teacup and goes quiet, struggling to reconcile the feeling of being looked out for.

"I'm serious," Erwin says. Levi looks back up at him for a painful moment. I know, he wants to say. But the words don't come.

Erwin puts a change of clothes in his bag, realizing how much he's taken them for granted. "Let me get you some clothes on my way home."

Levi looks up. "I'd appreciate that." His voice cracks slightly.

"What's your favorite color?" Erwin asks, grinning.

"Black," Levi says, managing to hide the relief that would betray his desperation.

"Guess I don't have to worry about you raiding my closet."

"Tch. And look like an Easter egg?"

Erwin just smiles. "I happen to think pastels suit me quite nicely."

"They do," Levi concedes with a grin. He's often noticed, while lying on Erwin's chest as a cat, how nicely his pink and yellow polo shirts set off his blonde hair and blue eyes.

"What size shoe do you wear?"

"Seven." Levi's long since learned not to turn down the generosity of strangers, even when the strings attached are in plain view. But Erwin’s generosity still unnerves him.

"I'll get you something you can wear out of the house," Erwin says. "So next time, you can come with me and pick it out."

Come with him? Next time? Levi feels hopeful, and tries to conceal that too. "Thank you," he says quietly.

Erwin walks back over to the bed to stroke Levi's hair. He feels the strange sensation again, the change in the density of the air, the sort of noiseless sparks cracking above Levi. "Fuck," Levi groans.

"It's ok," Erwin says, lying, knowing nothing about the transformations from Levi's point of view. He lets his hand rest on Levi’s upper back as the man's body shifts and retracts. Strange sensations course through his skin; waves of pressure and a feeling like thousands of tiny static shocks, as if the cat's back is a live wire. He sees the sutures and shaved patches reappear on the cat's belly.

Levi lets out a pitiful meow. But he notices something. The transition didn't hurt as much. It’s not nearly as painless as with Farlan and Isabel, but it’s close. He wants to tell Erwin so badly. It will have to wait.

Erwin glances at the clock. He needs to get going. "Hang in there today, kiddo." He can't yet bring himself to use pet names when Levi can talk back. But it seems fitting for the little cat. He strokes the cat's head. "You really are a beautiful cat, you know," he says. "But I think I like you better as a human."

Levi purrs loudly, grateful that cats can't blush. He watches Erwin’s car leave the driveway, curls back up on the pillow, and collapses back into heavy sleep.

**

Pale arrows of light sift through the trees. The course is still covered in cool mist, and the chatter of the pack of runners punctures the stillness of the park. Erwin hears the beat of the kids' shoes drop off as the pack begins to separate out into smaller groups.

"You gotta' run faster, Armin," Connie says jokingly, clapping his friend on the back. "Or you're not gonna survive the zombie apocalypse." Eren scowls at Connie.

"Psh," Sasha says. "If the zombie apocalypse happens, Armin's just gonna invent a hovercraft and watch you get eaten from it."

Connie laughs and the two break away at a faster pace towards Hange's group at the front. Erwin hangs back to keep an eye on the other runners. Armin and Eren keep pace next to him, just out of earshot of the others.

"Mr. Smith, guess what?"

From the grin on Eren's face, he's not sure he wants to know.

"Mikasa's stabilized. Pixis is letting her enroll as a student."

"So Pixis knows, too, huh?" Erwin wonders how many other shifters have been hiding in plain sight his whole life. But he's not surprised that Principal Dot, who lived the first thirty years of his life as Dorothy, would be sympathetic. "I think it's great, I hope I get her in my class."

"How's Levi?" Armin asks, struggling to keep pace.

“He's—" Erwin starts. He's beautiful. Strange. Inexplicably alluring. A mess of contradictions. Bitter. Callous. Shamelessly affectionate. Profoundly compelling. "He's a piece of work," Erwin finally says.

"What's he like?" Eren asks.

"We haven't talked much yet," Erwin says. "He's been nice to me, but I get the feeling I'm the exception, not the rule."

"Where'd he come from?"

"I think Savannah. He didn't go into detail. There's still a lot I don't know."

"Are you going to sponsor him?" Armin asks with a flushed face.

Erwin focuses on the trail for a few strides. "Yeah," he says. "I am."

"That's awesome," Eren says. "Can we meet him?"

"I'll have to ask him. It might be a while." A disgruntled crow makes his presence known in a high pine overhead. "Eren, when you say Mikasa's stable... what exactly does that mean?"

"It means she can decide when to change," Eren says. "She still has to be a cat some of the time so she doesn't get sick. But she can choose when. And she says it doesn't hurt."

"How does that happen?"

"We don't really know. It used to be bad when we first adopted her. She said it was so painful you could scream, and it would happen at least every day. It got better as we got older. So maybe it's just time."

"Annie said something similar," Armin says between heavy breaths.

"Annie?"

"She lives with Hitch. She's a cat, too. Marlowe's mom rescued her and two guys who shift into dogs when they were all kids. She said it was way worse then than it is now, but now they're almost stable, too. It could just be an age thing."

"How old is Levi?" Eren asks.

"Not sure. Late twenties at the youngest, but he could be my age."

Eren and Armin realize that neither of them knows how old Erwin actually is. Erwin hopes it's something else that causes the stability, that it's not too late for Levi.

They catch up to the group ahead and for the rest of the course the conversation turns to school.

**  
By the time Erwin gets home, Levi is human again, sleeping on the couch in Erwin’s comically large bathrobe. A cup of tea sits still steaming on the coffee table, next to a couple of books. A book lays open in Levi’s lap: Rilke’s Book of Hours, in the English and German. Does my cat speak German, Erwin wonders? He leaves the bags of clothes by the table and starts to cook dinner without waking Levi up.

The sounds of Erwin’s cooking and the light from the kitchen rouse Levi. He notices the bags and rifles through them. In one, shirts, socks and underwear, a pair of charcoal gray jeans, a pair of shorts; in the other, a belt, a pair of sandals and a pair of what looks like short combat boots, a sweatshirt, and, to Levi’s surprise, a white scarf. The tags are still attached, but the ends with the prices attached are gone. Erwin, how much money did you spend? Levi feels heat building behind his eyes. He pulls a shirt from its bag. The fabric is soft, but not flimsy. It feels like something Erwin would wear himself. 

Erwin whistles and mutters to himself in the kitchen. For the first time in months, Levi gets dressed. He puts on the jeans and a black t-shirt. They fit. He sees his fuzzy reflection in the TV screen, and sighs. He feels human.

Out of curiosity, he puts on the scarf. The flash of white looks like the patch of white fur down his chest in his cat’s body. He smiles. He feels like himself.


	9. Josephine and Kuchel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi tells Erwin about his mother and how they got their names.

Levi folds up the scarf and lays it back in the bag, admiring the soft fabric. If one thing, just one thing in his fucked up life could go right, he thinks, please...let it be Erwin. It feels promising. And that makes it terrifying.

Erwin doesn’t hear Levi enter the kitchen. In the reflection of the window over the sink, Erwin notices black and white movement behind him.

“Why did you get me a scarf?” Levi asks, setting the tea tray back on the table.

“It’s too early for it,” Erwin says. “I just saw it in the shop and I thought it would suit you.”

“I love it,” Levi says quietly, turning on the sink to wash out the French press.

Erwin smiles, glad to see Levi up and walking around, wearing the new clothes, looking about as happy as someone in his situation can look. “Are you hungry yet?”

“A little bit.”

“Good, I made extra.” He serves the food onto their plates: tilapia with asparagus. Levi lets himself bask in the aroma of the the fish for a moment, then begins to set the table. Erwin wonders when was the last time he even set the table, mildly embarrassed at how many dinners he’s eaten in front of the television with Levi sitting next to him or eating off a saucer on the coffee table.

Levi doesn’t say grace. He wonders if the god who turns men into cats is the same god who procures them clothes and tilapia. Mrs. Ackerman would have had plenty to say on the subject, god rest her soul. Whichever god. He doesn’t know. He takes a small bite of the fish. He eats slowly and methodically, chewing carefully.

“Is it ok?” Erwin asks.

“It’s delicious,” Levi says, stating the flatly obvious. They eat in silence for a moment. “Usually I prefer to hunt,” Levi says. “But you’re not a bad cook.”

“Well, from what I’ve seen, you’re quite the hunter.”

“I get by.” Levi suppresses a widening grin. “I have to do something to pass the time. I kind of miss it these past few days,” he says, taking a sip of iced tea. “Although it’s a lot more fun to do it for entertainment than for survival.”

Erwin silently decides that a bird feeder for the back porch would be little more than a cruel trap. He strikes it off his mental list of minor improvements for the house.

“It’s probably better for me, though. Wild food. Or even just raw food. At least while I’m a cat.”

Erwin hadn’t even dared serve Levi anything from a can, and has no intention to. “Well, next time I’ll just let it thaw in the fridge for you,” Erwin says.

“Yeah, actually, if you could, that’d be great,” Levi says with total sincerity. Erwin smiles.

“You seem better.”

Levi nods. He stretches and cracks his knuckles above his head. “This form feels all right.”

Erwin wonders whether or not to ask about the other one.

“The cat still has a long way to go,” Levi sighs. “But the transition’s better. Much less painful.”

Erwin swells a little with pride. Something’s finally going right. “I’m glad to hear that.” He finishes his food, somehow more satisfying with company. “Can I get you anything?” Levi shakes his head.

He never would have guessed, Erwin thinks, if he’d met this man out in public, that there was anything…supernatural about him. Unusual, for sure. But he wouldn’t have taken the man’s strange magnetism for literal magic.

“What?” Levi asks, feeling Erwin’s gaze.

“Nothing,” he lies. “You look nice.”

“Tch.” Levi rolls his eyes in mock offense, hoping to obscure his self-consciousness. He gets up and begins loading the dishwasher. He gazes out the window above the sink for a moment. “Thank you for the clothes,” he says quietly.

Erwin notices something about Levi. On most topics, his tone feels brash, even flippant; not cruel, but certainly dry. But when he talks about something good, it softens to a near-whisper, like a confession or a prayer. Each time Levi thanks him for something, he shifts to a reverent gravity.

Erwin ruffles Levi’s hair. “Come sit on the porch with me.”

Erwin reads the news on his laptop; Levi, sitting in the crook of Erwin’s arm, takes up the book of Rilke’s poetry again.

“You speak German?” Erwin asks after a while, as the last faint traces of sunset disappear behind the thick grove of trees.

“I grew up speaking it,” Levi says with a touch of nostalgia. “My mother and I lived with a woman from Germany when I was little.”

Erwin wants to know more, but the cat seems restless. “Do you want to go walk on the beach, now that it’s dark?” The tourist season is over, Erwin thinks; the coast should be clear.

“I mean, yeah, I want to. But I don’t think I should risk it.” He looks out over the marsh. “Unless…there aren't that many people out right now, are there?”

“This late in the summer, no.”

“If the next cycle starts…”

“I can take your clothes,” Erwin offers. “And I can carry you back.”

**

The constant breeze from the water obscures their conversation past a few feet away. It makes Levi feel safer. The orange glow from the city in the distance gives way to a satisfying spray of stars over the dark water. Erwin realizes it must have been Levi he saw swimming that night, weeks prior. No wonder he hesitated to wave.

“How’d you end up with a woman from Germany?”

“My mother escaped from the auction,” Levi says, gazing at the dark horizon. The phrase gives Erwin a chill. Lights from a few barges flicker in the distance. “I don’t know how she did it. She claims some humans snuck in, some of them pretended to be shifters, and they paid with counterfeit money. I never found out if it was true, but that was the story. She said after she escaped, the old lady picked her up in a graveyard when she was pregnant with me.”

They turn a corner into a more secluded section of the beach, bordering the state park. Across the bay they see an enormous column of light, a bonfire blazing on another beach in the distance.

"Her name was Josephine," Levi says. "She took my mother in. Gave her a new name. She said she wanted one, so she could feel like she was starting over. So Josephine named her Kuchel. They named me after Josephine's grandfather."

The historian in Erwin appreciates the backstory, how Levi offers it so freely.

“Did you have any brothers or sisters?”

“No,” Levi says with a tinge of sadness. “Would have been nice. But that’s one way to tell shifters from humans. They never have a litter; they give birth to one child or twins, like human women do.”

Levi stops to roll up the cuffs of his jeans. He carries his sandals in one hand and walks in the edges of the waves.

“Dr. Josephine Ackerman. Crazy as a goddamn loon. But she was a good lady. God, I wish she was still around.” They walk farther into the dark landscape, reduced to an indigo streak of sky against the black band of the beach. “She was a Catholic nun. She left the church because she said she had some kind of vision. I never really understood it. Just walked out one day and never looked back. She was married for two years, lost her husband in an accident, and never got remarried. She claimed he spoke to her in dreams, all kinds of weird stuff. She taught philosophy at a college in Saint Augustine for twenty years. When I knew her, she was retired. Kind of dottery. She read tarot cards out of the back room of an occult bookshop as a hobby. She even got my mom a job there. Everybody assumed my mom was her daughter, so we lived like that. Nobody ever found out who my mom really was.”

“And she taught you German?”

“She taught me all kinds of things. I couldn’t go to school, so I just read everything I could get my hands on. It wasn’t too bad. She used to be a teacher anyways. She taught my mom to read, too."

Erwin feels a flicker of warmth toward this strange old woman. He tries to picture Levi's mother. He imagines she must have been beautiful. “I could get you some German books,” Erwin muses.

“Tch,” Levi scoffs. “You’ve outdone yourself already with clothes and fish,” he mutters.

Erwin smiles and steps closer to Levi. He finds Levi’s small, cool hand in the darkness. Levi gives his hand a squeeze and they continue their walk into the inky blackness. Levi relishes the feeling of it, the warmth of it. He can't remember the last time he held someone's hand that wasn't his mother's. Even Farlan, who was so effusive in private, was so reserved in public, still only out to a handful of people.

“How long did you live with her?”

“’Til I was about fourteen. She died of a stroke, out of the blue. I mean, she was old, but we never saw it coming. Mom and I were on our own after that.”

“What happened?” Erwin asks. “I thought your mom had a job.”

“That’s the thing,” Levi says. “She couldn’t keep it. Her cycles started going crazy. I think it was from the grief. She couldn’t handle it; she couldn’t stay human long enough. She started getting sick from trying to force herself to stay human.” Levi’s voice begins to crack and strain. “Eventually it killed her.”

He goes quiet and slows his pace. The image of his mother rises in his mind; not the way he wants to remember her, chatty and smiling, but the way he last saw her. The emaciated figure of the body Kenny forced him to abandon before they were all found out. He'll tell Erwin. Maybe. One day. For now the tightness in his throat is like a vice.

Erwin can tell there's more to Levi's story. But what point in rushing it? Forcing it? He decides this is a good time to turn around. He can just discern Levi’s silhouette in the darkness. "I'm sorry," he says. Levi says nothing, just holds still. Erwin wraps his arms around Levi and kisses the top of his head again, still hesitant to kiss him elsewhere.

They make their way back to the lights of the boardwalk in silence, Erwin’s arm wrapped around Levi's shoulders, Levi's around Erwin’s waist. The wind muffles any sound coming from Levi. But Erwin feels the faint shudders in his chest, and Levi reaches up to wipe his face with the back of his free wrist. It occurs to Erwin as they approach the wooden bridge across the marsh that Levi is the only person he knows who has truly lost everything.

He's embarrassed. Why is this happening now? You had months on your own in the wilderness; you had days to yourself in Erwin’s house to cry about it whenever you damn well pleased, Levi thinks. And it's not like you never think of them. No, Josephine and Kuchel, Isabel and Farlan are the constant companions of his mind, their spectres staving off the loneliness, imploring him to keep on living. He sniffs loudly and wipes his face again. Well. It sure wouldn't be the first time your body did something you couldn't control, he thinks. He lets out a dry laugh.

"What is it?" Erwin asks.

"Nothing," Levi says, gripping Erwin tighter as they walk.

When they reach the house, Levi's face is dry, but a telltale red. He stands for a moment in the kitchen with a distant expression, looking at a photograph tacked to the refrigerator.

"Tch. I didn't even ask you about your parents," he half-whispers.

"There's plenty of time to talk about them later. Besides, there's not a lot to tell."

"Erwin," Levi says with exasperation. "Shut the door. You're going to let moths in."

Erwin hastily pushes it shut and Levi’s expression softens. A palpable, awkward silence hangs over the room. Levi looks exhausted, hollow, and distant. His expression takes Erwin back to the arduous process of saying goodbye to his father; the agony of his final days, withdrawing life support, followed by the gradual disintegration of his mother. Not the same story, by any counts, but perhaps just parallel enough to empathize. Erwin reaches out his arms. Levi obliges and presses himself into Erwin’s chest.

Erwin has to crane his neck down awkwardly to kiss Levi. He doesn't mind. Levi is too emotionally spent to feel self-conscious. He lets himself sink into the kiss, his tangible relaxation wordlessly encouraging Erwin. Erwin's hands find Levi's neck and the small of his back.

The air begins to densify and crackle. Normally the sensation in his spine feels like noise and static, streaming through him in a current. But this time, with Erwin's hands resting on him, there's a feeling of clarity. A tactile change in the quality of the current.

Levi pulls away slightly. "I should go lie back down," he says vacantly. Erwin follows him into the bedroom. Levi takes off the shirt and jeans, folding them neatly. Strange sensations still manifest around his spine, but no physical change. As he lies down, Erwin kisses him again, letting the weight of his torso gently press Levi into the bed.


	10. Resonance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grisha makes a house call. Levi realizes he's never met a stabilized shifter before.

"Oh my god," Armin groans, running his nails through Reiner's fur. "How does he have _any_ energy? I'm so wiped out, I think I'm gonna' pass out." Reiner licks Armin's face and returns to work chewing a frisbee in half. Armin stretches his legs, sore from the morning's cross country practice.

Eren and Marlowe take turns chucking a tennis ball as far as they can down the dark beach, while Bertolt sprints after it in his Doberman's body. The bonfire still burns furiously, but at about half of its height since the beginning of the evening.

Annie laughs. "It'll get easier, don't worry. Just give it a few weeks. But yeah, tomorrow you're gonna' be pretty sore, probably." She leans back into Mikasa's arms.

"Are you going to be ok to drive to Marlowe's?" Mikasa asks. The boys have plans to spend the night in the Freudenbergs' basement.

"If you're tired, get Marlowe to drive, not Eren," Hitch adds quickly, roasting another marshmallow over the fire.

Annie snickers. "I trust tired Armin a lot more than I trust wide-awake Eren." It's dark enough that no one sees Armin blush.

Mikasa gives her a little shake. "Oh, have some faith."

"Admit it, you think so too," Annie says, giving Mikasa a quick peck on the cheek. Mikasa groans with feigned exasperation. If Eren is notoriously impulsive, Mikasa is notoriously defensive. But even she will admit, on the few occasions Eren's driven her and Armin, it was a white-knuckled affair with plenty of furtive glances.

Reiner grumbles. He's not so touchy as a human. But as a dog, he's shamelessly cuddly. Armin rubs his ears and he lets out a happy moan.

Bertolt saunters back toward the fire with his head down. Eren and Marlowe follow behind.

"Bert, what's the matter?" Hitch asks, scratching his ears. He whimpers dejectedly.

"We lost the tennis ball," Marlowe says. Bertolt lets out another sad whine and lays down next to Reiner.

"Well, it _is_ dark," Hitch says.

"Oh, Bert. Get over it," Annie says, nudging him with her foot. "We have, like, a million tennis balls."

"No," Armin says wryly. "That was _Bert's_ tennis ball. It had to be _that_ tennis ball. And now it's gone forever."

Mikasa rolls her eyes. "Armin, you're not helping." He just grins.

"Jesus, Reiner," Marlowe says. "Good thing we got a bunch of frisbees, too. Remind me not to let you near a football." Reiner lets out a low gruffle.

They don't have to be dogs. They can go weeks without shifting now. But it does them good to rest in their dogs' bodies from time to time, to keep the balance. In spite of his frustration, Bert loves these outings; he and Reiner love to run, they love the beach. They love having friends they don't have to hide from.

"You working tonight?" Eren asks Annie, skewering a marshmallow and holding it over the fire.

"Shit," she says, sitting up suddenly. "I don't think so?"

"Mom's not on call tonight," Hitch says.

"Ok, good." Annie deflates a little.

"I thought you were gonna work for Dr. Rheinberger too this fall," Marlowe says, plunging his hand into a bag of Cheetos.

"Yeah, eventually," Annie says. "I'm not quite stable enough yet. I think I gotta give it a few more months."

Mikasa ruffles her hair. "You'll get there. All of you guys."

"You excited for school?" Hitch asks Mikasa with a grin.

"Yeah," she says, suddenly shy.

"You're gonna' kill it," Annie says. "They're gonna' love you." Mikasa just sighs.

"Hey Bert," Eren says. He tosses the dog a marshmallow and he catches it in his mouth. "Reiner?" The dog raises his head and catches one too. "Armin!" Eren shouts. Armin snatches the marshmallow out of the air. "Nice catch." Eren grins with pride.

"I'm getting better," Armin says with his mouth full.

Eren sits down next to him. "Man, I'm getting tired," he says, leaning his head on Armin's shoulder.

"So you _are_ human," Armin laughs. "I thought you guys were gonna' run around all night." Eren yawns and stretches, wrapping his arm around Armin's shoulders. Hitch glances at Marlowe with a twinge of jealousy. He's totally oblivious.

It's a calm night, pleasantly cool, and not too humid. Annie lies back with Mikasa; she meets Bert and Reiner's reflective gazes in the firelight, and for a moment, they all just _know_. This is it. This is what they prayed for, what they would have done anything for back in the labs. Friends. Freedom. A calm, normal life. And living at the beach doesn't hurt.

Owls call to each other in the nearby trees. The dogs' ears prick up.

Eren draws his phone from his pocket. "Dad's on his way," he says to Mikasa. They all get up. Annie grabs the shovel to pour sand on the dying fire; Hitch and Marlowe gather up the last of the trash.

"You guys want these leftovers?" Hitch asks.

"Yes," Marlowe says, gently taking an unopened bag of chips from her as if it were a sleeping child. They smile at each other awkwardly.

Grisha's headlights shine down the long path from the parking lot. They gather up their bags and towels and make their way toward the bright beams.

 

**

Erwin sits in the living room reading when Levi flings open the bedroom door and rushes to the bathroom.

" _What the fuck—_ " he gasps. He plants his hands on the edge of the sink and stares desperately in the mirror.

"Levi?" Erwin stands in the door frame, nearly as stunned as Levi. He expected Levi to be a cat, having sensed the transition start nearly an hour prior.

" _What's happening to me?_ " Levi asks his reflection in a terrified hiss.

He's human. Mostly. A long black tail extends from the base of his spine. Patches of dark fur cover the backs of his hands which now terminate in wicked white claws. Triangular ears point up from the top of his skull; his nose has darkened; his teeth are little fangs.

It would be adorable, Erwin thinks, even beautiful, in a way, if Levi weren't looking at him with an expression of abject terror. And possibly having a panic attack. Levi touches his face and shudders. "This—this has _never_ happened before—"

He's seen himself shift; he's used to the change. But not to this. He gazes at his reflection and sees something abhorrent to nature, a creature belonging to no god; something vile, sick, broken. The air around him seems to move like slow, thick syrup; his spine electric, with invisible light.

"Hey," Erwin says, lightly gripping the cat's shoulders. "Why don't you lie back down. Let me get you some water."

Levi nods, his eyes still wide. But when Erwin comes back in the bedroom with the glass, Levi sits curled into a tight ball, trembling. Erwin sits next to him on the bed and rubs his back in a light, circular motion.

"Levi," he says softly. "Levi, it's going to be ok. We're going to figure this out, ok?" The cat nods faintly.

"I have a friend," Erwin continues. "Grisha. He's a doctor. His daughter is a shifter." Levi's breathing begins to even out. "I can call them. Maybe they can help." Levi nods again. "Do you want me to call them?" Levi nods more vigorously.

 

**

 

Mikasa hugs Hitch goodnight, then Annie, who gives her a clandestine kiss on the neck and a wink as she disappears inside the house. Mikasa climbs back into the passenger seat of the car. Grisha's phone rings as they pull out of the Dreyses' driveway.

"It's Erwin," she says.

"Pick it up for me, sweetheart?"

She unlocks the screen. "Hi Erwin, it's Mikasa," she says. "Dad's driving."

"Hi Mikasa," Erwin says, trying to conceal the alarm in his voice. "I know it's late, but I need to talk to your dad. Can you ask him to make a house call?"

"Yeah, of course."

Grisha nods. The speaker is loud enough for him to hear.

"He says it's fine."

"Tell him twenty minutes," Grisha says.

 

**

 

Erwin helps Levi get dressed. He's still on edge, but not as distressed as before. Eriwn brings him a cup of tea.

Levi sees them in the driveway: a tall man with long, dark hair in a low ponytail and wire-frame glasses; an athletic-looking girl in denim shorts and a red sweatshirt. He tunes into her from the window. She has a _strong_ verticality, he notices. He can sense the current running through her and it runs clear, luminous. She becomes aware of him. A sort of gearing takes place, and he finds himself more steadied, as if carried by her clarity. He realizes he's never met a stabilized shifter. Stabilization always seemed like such a pipe dream, something far off, like achieving enlightenment. He starts to feel hope.

He sits in the bay window and closes his eyes, soaking in the clear presence. As they approach the doorstep, Mikasa's eyes tear up. She can feel the erratic noise, the chaos blazing in Levi behind the wall of the house. She thinks of when she first met Annie, the wild fluctuations, the imprints of trauma throwing everything off balance. In the space of a second, she feels Levi reading into her. Then she notices something. There's a light. Beneath the violent surface, there's a steady glow. She smiles.

"Thank you for coming," Erwin says as he opens the door.

"Certainly," Grisha says. His voice is steady and disarming. They walk into the bedroom. Erwin notices something in Levi's face when he sees Mikasa, as though a silent conversation is happening between them, beyond his perception. Levi's posture softens. It's not just Mikasa's presence that's soothing, but Erwin's, and Grisha's: real help. The reality of being cared for sinks deeper into Levi.

"Levi," Grisha says serenely. "I had been hoping to meet you eventually." His tone is scholarly and slightly formal. “Although I'm sorry that this is the occasion." Levi nods. From the way Levi's hands are mashed into his sweatshirt pockets, Grisha decides not to try to shake one. It's the right decision. He seems completely unfazed by Levi's unusual appearance, which puts the cat more at ease.

"Erwin tells me you sustained some severe injuries recently." Levi nods again. "Perhaps you can tell me more about them. I think they may have some bearing on this unusual change."

"We'll leave you two alone?" Erwin asks. Grisha nods, and Erwin and Mikasa walk into the kitchen.

"I wouldn't worry," she says to Erwin. "I think he's going to be fine." Erwin sinks with relief.

"I'm glad y'all came," he says.

"Of course," she smiles. "It was bad, though, what happened to him. Wasn't it?" She tunes in again.

"From what I can tell."

 

**

 

Grisha begins with simple questions. He speaks with a sort of fearless calm, as if nothing Levi could possibly say would bother him. He has a very grounded presence, Levi thinks; if this is Mikasa's adopted father, she's a lucky girl. No wonder her energy is so clear. He still feels it, emanating from her, like a candle in a dark room.

By now Levi is calm again. He describes his injuries from Kenny in detail. Grisha asks him about the health of his human form; his diet, his history of illness.

"With the exception of what sounds like some fairly brutal fights," he says, "I'm tempted to give you a clean bill of health, at least in your human form. Perhaps Dr. Dreyse can speak with you about your cat form's injuries. How long have your cycles been, lately?"

"About eighteen to twenty four hours," Levi says. "Up from about eight to twelve a few weeks ago."

"This is good," Grisha says authoritatively. "You're healing. And this...partial shift. This happened about when you were expecting the next cycle?"

"A few hours later, actually."

Grisha looks contemplative. "From what I've observed," he says, "I believe this may just be noise. I won't lie to you, I haven't observed this before in a shifter. But it seems like a traumatic response." He looks at Levi squarely. "I want you to watch it, for forty eight hours. If you haven't resumed your normal pattern again, then I want you and Erwin to call me and also Dr. Dreyse. And I want you to take valerian. It will have a stabilizing effect."

Levi continues to nod, relieved. Grisha opens the kitchen door. "Shall we get going?"

"Dad..." Mikasa asks, "Can I sit with Levi for a few minutes?"

"Of course." He sits with Erwin in the kitchen and briefs him on Levi's condition.

Mikasa walks quietly into the room. They say nothing for a few moments. But Levi begins to feel serene.

"How long did it take you?" he asks softly.

"About five years with the Jaegers," she says warmly. "It got a lot better long before then, though. Less painful. Does it hurt less, when you're with Erwin?" She feels the faint glow at the base of his energy again.

"Yeah. A lot less so."

"That's good," she says, smiling. "I don't think you should worry about the partial shift." She glances at the kitchen door, then back to Levi. "It happens to me sometimes. But only when I'm with my girlfriend, Annie. She's a shifter like us; she becomes a cat, too." She looks at the door again. "I just didn't want my dad to know about her."

Levi smiles faintly. "I won't say a word."

"When it happens to me, I just shift out of it," she says. "Well. After a while. Annie thinks it's cute. She does it sometimes, too. But I think if you let it pass, it should go away with the next cycle."

"Thank you," he says, half-whispered.

They sit together for a few more minutes, the air between them with a warm glow, light without light. Tuning into humans is more obscure, she thinks, but she extends her awareness to Erwin in the next room. It's there. The resonance. An echo of the clear light beneath the chaos within Levi. It's _so_ beautiful, she thinks. She can't help but smile.

"What is it?" Levi asks.

She just grins. "I just don't think you have to worry."

*

*

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so pleased with the response this fic has gotten...hoping to update again over the weekend! In the meantime, here's a little illustration of Erwin with cat!Levi. ^^


	11. The Scout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grisha gives Erwin a stern warning. Meanwhile, a plot to bring down an infamous trafficker is afoot.

Levi was right about the moths. A half dozen of various sizes beat themselves hopelessly against the kitchen light fixture. Grisha takes another sip of water.

"So how have things been going with him? Between the two of you, I mean?"

"Good," Erwin says. "At least they are for _me_. I'm...rather taken with him. I've appreciated the company, in any case. I just wish he weren't in so much pain." He chooses not to go into detail about his attraction to Levi; the intensity, the awkwardness of it. It's a net positive, that's all Grisha needs to know.

"You do know you're under no obligation to sponsor him, don't you? If things start to go sour, talk to me and Carla. We'll help you find somewhere else he can stay."

"Somehow I doubt it'll come to that," Erwin says, silently praying it won't. "But I'll let you know."

"Erwin...how much has he told you about where he comes from?"

"Not a lot," Erwin realizes. "I got the beginning of the story. Though truth be told, he's been asleep, a cat, or both for the bulk of the time he's been here."

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but you do need to be extremely careful,"  Grisha says in a low, quiet voice. "There are some very cruel, very sadistic people who take an interest in shifters. They will often go to some very cruel and extreme lengths to obtain them, and to keep them a secret. I wish I could say that this was only a handful of sick individuals among the normal population. But from what I've observed, the government is not much better. And the boundary between the auctions and the laboratories is...permeable, shall we say."

Erwin feels cold, his mind ablaze with possible episodes from Levi's live. Grisha downs the rest of the water.

"As to the shifters themselves," he continues, "most of them are quite normal, even quite compassionate people. But some of them have had to do deplorable things to get out of deplorable situations. The threshold of what they will do to survive is _very_ high."

Erwin starts to wonder how much he's capable of forgiving in Levi; whether his excitement is clouding his morals.

"Usually," Grisha says, "in cases of adoption, there's little to worry about. It's mostly just a matter of children moving from one family to another, as circumstances require. But for an adult, and for someone outside our little network, so to speak, we never truly know. One has to wonder about someone Levi's age, who's made it this far on his own."

"Grisha," Erwin asks with brewing anxiety, "who all even _knows_ about this? I know Pixis knows. And Mike and Nan."

Grisha looks toward the window thoughtfully. "Well, the Pixis family has been sponsoring shifters for _years_ , so nearly anyone involved with them probably knows. There's Rico. She and Martina Dreyse are friends. The Freudenbergs, of course. Anka Rheinberger, naturally; she's the other vet on call from the clinic. Which, by the way, is the _only_ place you should consider taking Levi if he needs it. Who else..."

Erwin pours himself another glass of tea.

Grisha slaps his hand on the table. "Zoe and Moblit. And the Kirschteins, who I doubt you know; they're cousins of Carla's. They're mostly in Jacksonville, but a few live not too far from here, near Ossabaw Island. In fact, I'm sure Zoe would tell you eventually, but the young man moving into her and Moblit's coach house is a shifter. He lived with the Kirschteins before. He's been staying with Carla and me this week, until Zoe's current tenant moves out."

"Wait," Erwin says, feeling slightly betrayed. He sifts through the images in his mind of the tenants Hange and Moblit have rented to over the years. "Have they had shifters live with them before?"

"Just one, to my knowledge. Years ago. A woman named Ilse. I believe she works for a naturalist on Cumberland Island now." Grisha senses the irritation in Erwin's voice.

“I met her,” Erwin says, looking out the window. “I never would have known.”

“Exactly. That’s the way we try to keep it,” Grisha says plainly. “Erwin, don’t be upset if your friends didn’t tell you they were hiding vulnerable people. We tell people about this _strictly_ on a need-to-know basis, it has nothing to do with a judgment of character. Though if you must know, I don’t think Levi could have chosen a better person to stay with. Chances are he was canvassing houses for weeks before he even approached you. It’s a sign of great trust. Don’t take it lightly.”

I don’t, Erwin thinks. It means a lot to be trusted as it is. But even more so by someone like Levi. He sighs and sits back down at the kitchen table.

"I may eventually tell Petra and Oulo about the young man staying with Zoe and Moblit. His name is Jean. Petra's begun selling some of his artwork out of the gallery in her shop. But as far as she knows, he's just an eccentric young painter. In the meantime, I'd prefer you didn't mention it."

Erwin nods. 

"You haven't noticed anything unusual in the neighborhood, any unmarked vehicles, unusual people...?"

"Not besides the other shifter that came after Levi."

"If you see anything out of the ordinary, I want you to tell me. We can even make up a condition for you! If something's wrong with Levi, tell me it's about your allergies, and I'll come over. If you see something strange in the neighborhood, say your knee's acting up. You know we're very serious about not mentioning this anywhere it can be traced."

"What if I actually have allergies?" Erwin asks with half a smile.

"That will be obvious from the symptoms you describe," Grisha says, grinning. 

Mikasa cracks open the door. She and Levi step out. Levi looks much more at ease, even tranquil. They exchange goodbyes, and Levi watches Mikasa and Grisha drive off, still tuning into the radiant clarity emanating from Mikasa. Erwin walks up behind Levi, still adorned with the cat's features. He wraps his arms around him and kisses the back of his neck, which makes Levi shiver, then immediately relax. He sinks into Erwin for a few moments. Mikasa is long gone, but a faint echo of her clarity, a certain quality of light, seems to radiate from Erwin. 

"It's getting late," Erwin says softly to the top of Levi's head. "We should get some sleep."

Levi nods and retreats to the bedroom. Erwin follows, but not without casting a cursory glance around the neighborhood for unmarked vehicles.

**

Ymir stands next to the white van at the dark service entrance to the restaurant and watches them climb into the back: a Rotweiler, a Border Collie, two clearly nervous cats, and Marco, still in his human form, dressed in his bartender's clothes. She climbs in with them and shuts the door behind her. The animals lie in a pile in the darkness, huddled in the corner. Marco sits with his arms wrapped around his knees. Through the faint shaft of light from the window to the driver's seat, Ymir can just discern his face. Once the rumble of the engine and the noise from the street creates a screen, she talks to him in a low voice. "I don't want to be here any more than you do, you know."

He just blinks in the darkness.

"Trust me," she says, "if you were stable, he'd have you doing my job. Hell, he might even replace me. Make _you_ be the scout and make _me_ a bartender."

Marco realizes this is the harshest way anyone's ever tried to cheer him up. He smiles faintly. "You'd make a terrible bartender."

She scoffs. "I can mix a drink. God knows he tells me to do it at home all the damn time."

He shakes his head. "That's not it. You have a terrible personality."

"You're right about that." The van hits a bump and the Border Collie lets out a frightened whimper. "But you should know something—the more I _pretend_ to like it, the more he trusts me. I mean, I'm a bitch anyways, but I have to turn it up around these guys so they don't get suspicious. And you should know something else—these guys he has working for him are _complete_ idiots. They don't know what the hell they're doing. They just get off on feeling in control. I can't let them know how much they don't know."

Marco sighs and rests his forehead on his forearms. 

"Just hang in there, ok? A few more weeks, a few months, max. I got a plan, but I can't carry it out if you and I are stuck in a padded room in some government lab, ok? So don't do anything stupid. And don't give us away. Just go with it, for a little longer."

"Yeah, I get it," he says dejectedly.

"Come on, how bad can it be? You already made a friend, at least you have that to look forward to."

"What?"

Ymir rolls her eyes in the dark. "What's his name. Horseface. That guy who's obsessed with you and keeps coming to see you at the bar, like, every day."

"Oh," Marco says with a smile. "Jean."

"Yeah, whatever," Ymir says. "Just pretend to be normal and talk to Jean, and then when this is all over you can go cry in his arms and tell him all about how you helped take down the notorious trafficker Rod Reiss."

Marco groans and sits back against the wall of the van. 

"I can't figure out what he is, by the way," Ymir says. "I've been tracking him for ten days now, and I still can't tell. He's stable as fuck, there's not a touch of noise in him."

Marco begins to tear up. "Please don't take him. Please don't get him wrapped up in this."

"Calm down, I'm not fucking going to. Do you know how many shifters I've pretended not to notice since we took you?"

He shakes his head. 

"Well, not actually that many since there's so few of us. But a lot, for shifters! Like five!"

Marco begins to cry. "Then why did you take _me_?!" He asks in a strained voice.

"I still have to do my fucking job!" Ymir growls. "Do you think I _want_ to do this? I used to live out in the wilderness with my tribe, for fuck's sake! I couldn't give two shits about living with people. Do you think I care about money? Or that shitbag, Reiss? I took you, because if I didn't scout someone out that week, I was gonna end up strapped to some table with wires attached to my head or turning tricks in some shitty airport hotel. God forgive me," she hisses.

"I know," Marco says. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure we'll both get over it. Make it up to me. Tell me what your friend is."

"He's a horse," Marco says quietly. 

Ymir's eyes widen. Fuck, she thinks. This plan might happen sooner than she anticipated.

"You're shitting me."

"I'm not. That's why you don't recognize his current."

"I've _never_ heard of a horse shifter."

"I never heard of a _wolf_ shifter 'til you just about bit my face off," he says defensively.  

The van slows down. "Tell me more about your friend later," Ymir says. "He might be able to get us all out of this mess."

**

Erwin lies down behind Levi and lightly strokes his furry ear. It flutters rapidly. Erwin smiles. 

He reaches to the night table behind him and switches off the light. The two men lie together in the darkness. Levi pulls Erwin's arm tighter around him. Erwin rubs the back of Levi's fur-covered hand with his thumb. "I don't mind it, you know," Erwin whispers. "I actually think it's kind of beautiful in a way."

Levi sighs deeply. Erwin kisses the back of his neck again. If anything could make him feel better about his strange appearance, it would be that. Erwin falls asleep quickly, but Levi remains awake, letting himself soak up Erwin's warmth, still picking up on the faint glow, reminiscent of Mikasa. 

But he still can't figure it out. What could cause the partial shift? He remembers Josephine explaining how sex and sleep instigate a quality of horizontality in humans, who are normally the most vertical of animals. Has it been the sleep? Days of sleeping on end? Mikasa said it happened to her around her girlfriend. But he hasn't had sex with Erwin, as much as he craves it. Is arousal enough? Is this going to happen every time he kisses Erwin or has a sexual thought about him? How horrifyingly embarrassing. He tries to tune into the stream of energy in his spine for clues. But feeling into the static just makes him drowsy, and eventually he falls asleep.

His cat-like features disappear overnight without him even feeling it. 

**


	12. Rainy Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vignettes from a long, rainy Saturday for everyone. Krista discovers something atrocious about her father, and a frustrated Levi finally gets out of the house.

It's raining softly when Levi wakes up. Diffuse gray light filters into the room. He sees his normal human hands and melts with relief. But he can hear the sounds of Erwin making breakfast in the kitchen, and it irks him. He wishes he could wake up first, for once. Surprise Erwin with coffee. Or breakfast. Or morning sex. Or all of it.

He misses the lazy weekends he had with Farlan, no risk of being heard by Isabel who slept until noon without fail. 

The sheets are still warm from Erwin’s body; sleeping next to him is like sleeping by a furnace. But he's already dressed in his running clothes when he walks in with the tray of tea. He sets it on the night table and sits on the edge of the bed. Levi takes the tea without saying a word, sulking. Erwin takes his cue. "What's the matter?" he asks, ruffling Levi's hair. 

Levi stares at the mattress. "I wish you didn't have to go," he mutters. Erwin tries not to let on to how touched he is by how much Levi wants him to stay. Levi takes another slurp of tea, gazing down at the bed, his eyes unfocused. 

"I know," Erwin says, with a tinge of remorse. "I signed up for this coaching gig before I knew what I had to stay home for."

Levi feels suddenly selfish. He knows Erwin loves running, being outside, being with his students. Then Levi wonders: what exactly does Erwin mean by 'what I have to stay home for?' 

It wouldn't be so urgent if he could predict the next shift, Erwin realizes. In that instant, he's struck with the feeling of alienation, disembodiment, and powerlessness always lurking on the horizon for Levi. He becomes aware of his hands and the fact that he has use of them twenty-four hours a day; he stays the same size; he can always speak. In a painful moment, he understands how much he's taken his voice, his body, even his humanity for granted.

As soon as Levi sets down the empty cup of tea, Erwin reaches for his hips, pulling him into his lap for a long, slow kiss. Levi grips the fabric of Erwin's shirt. He rests his head against Erwin's chest.

"I'll be back in a few hours, ok?" Erwin says with a faint tone of resignation. "And then I'm all yours." Erwin feels Levi nod his head. "There's snapper for you in the fridge," he whispers softly. Levi gives a satisfied grunt. 

He gets up and grabs his bag. Levi throws on Erwin's enormous bathrobe and follows him to the door. Right as Erwin's foot crosses the threshold, something pulls him back into the house. Levi clutches the back of Erwin's shirt, still gazing dejectedly at the floor. Erwin laughs. "Levi—"

Levi grabs Erwin around his waist and buries his face into Erwin's shoulder blades. "Levi, it's ok," Erwin chuckles. Levi shakes his head. Erwin finds the little tantrum adorable. But the prospect of being late is beginning to sting. He turns around, takes Levi's face lightly in his hands, and kisses him on the forehead. "I'll make it up to you, I promise." 

Levi watches him with an expression of exasperation and longing as he gets into his car.

 

**

 

The morning drizzle quickly turns to sheets of rain as the runners hit the course. Besides a few notes on pacing and form, there's little conversation; the spatter of the water drowns most of it out. Erwin tries to keep an eye on the runners and check in. But his mind drifts back to Levi, and the forlorn look on his face, the icy gray eyes burning into him. He's always had fantasies of other men flickering through the back of his mind, even at the apex of his marriage to Marie. But that remained something to indulge in alone, during a long shower. On the one hand, Levi's presence is a shock—a pleasant one, but more than he could ever have seen coming so soon after the divorce. On the other, there's something familiar about it, as though Levi is made up of gestures and glances and touches and words that have been drifting through Erwin's mind for years, now coalescing into one figure, both somber and ferocious.

What are you waiting for, Erwin asks himself. They pass through a grove of trees by a pond whose surface crackles wildly from the throttle of the raindrops. Of course, he realizes: you don't want to ruin it. You don't want to scare him away.

The mud of the trail threatens to suck the shoes right off the runners' feet. Armin's throat burns. The rain is loud and squinting to see through it gives him a headache. But the lack of talking makes it easier to cover up how hard it is to keep up with Eren. Why did I agree to do this, he asks himself bitterly as the pack clambers its way down a sticky hill. How important is exercise, anyway, he wonders. Besides, he thinks: it's not like he doesn't spend most of his waking hours with the Jaegers as it is.

After a brief eternity, they reach the locker room, soaked and splattered with mud. Eren strips off his waterlogged singlet and shakes his wet hair out of his face. Maybe this isn't _so_ bad, Armin thinks. 

 

**

 

The boys kick off their shoes and walk inside. Mikasa the cat sits in a little heap in the center of a big, overstuffed armchair, dozing; Jean doodles in sketchbook while the rain assaults the windows.

"How'd it go?" Jean asks, looking up from his furious scratching against the page.

_Miserable_ , Armin wants to say. I should give up, he thinks; I should be a team mom and wait in the locker room with cookies and juice and just watch the other boys take off their shirts. "Ok," he says. "Muddy."

Eren flops onto the couch, and Armin plants his head on his shoulder. His wet hair starts seeping through the fabric of Eren's sweatshirt. Eren doesn't care.

Carla walks in wearing her rain jacket, purse in hand. "Eren, your dad took his car to the shop. I'm going to go pick him up. There's casserole in the fridge if you want it. Miksasa, sweetheart," she says, turning to the cat, "don't forget to take your clothes out of the dryer, ok?" The cat opens one eye and gives an affirmative flurfle. "Oh, and Jean," she says, "I just got off the phone with Moblit. Let's wait until this rain lets up until we try to move your things, ok? I'm worried about your artwork getting wet." 

"Oh, ok. Yeah, that's fine," Jean says. 

The door clicks shut and the room goes quiet except for the rain and the sound of Jean's drawing. Elaborate tattoos snake their way up his arms. Like most shifters, he owns almost nothing. A single foot locker sits by the door in the spare bedroom. It's the profusion of canvases wrapped in butcher paper and the sixty pound box of sketchbooks that gives Carla pause. In his human guise, he's the kind of slightly-crusty punkish twenty-something who wears the same pair of boots every day. He looks like a punk farmer, Eren thinks, in a thin plaid shirt rolled up at the sleeves and his hair cut short at the sides, the longer bleached strands hanging in his face like a horse's mane.  

"I can't believe you're going to be living with Coach Hange," Eren says. Jean gives him a skeptical look.

"Have you _met_ Hange?" Armin asks.

"We've talked on the phone a few times," Jean says.

"She's _super_ weird," Eren says emphatically. "But also super awesome."

Jean nods and goes back to drawing. A face takes shape on his paper: a dark-haired man with large eyes and freckles. 

"Why'd the Kirschteins kick you you out?" Eren asks in a prodding tone. Armin shoots him an anxious look. 

"They didn't," Jean says defensively. "They got too old to stay at their ranch on their own, so they're selling it. I offered to move out." 

Eren switches on the TV; Armin gets up to scavenge for food in the kitchen. On his way back into the living room, he sees Jean's sketch, and his heart sinks. He hasn't even mentioned that he sometimes draws. His own work feels so flat and simplistic compared to the wild, vibrant figures filling Jean's sketchbooks and canvases. 

"How'd you learn to draw?" he asks shyly.

"My foster mom taught me," Jean says in a much friendlier tone than he used with Eren. Eren picks up on the difference. A little knot of jealousy starts to twist in his stomach. "Plus, there wasn't really much else to do out on the ranch. No distractions."

Probably no friends, either, Eren thinks defensively. Armin sits down on the couch with a plate of casserole and Eren's arm wraps around his waist possessively.

 

**

 

Krista takes a deep breath and prepares herself. The weekend brunch rush is no joke at the Blue Magnolia. It's still ten minutes to opening, and already the line snakes out the door, guests crammed onto the porch to stay out of the rain. She runs her hands through her hair and switches on the computer at the hostess stand. She looks at the endless list of reservations. At the top, of course: _Reiss, party of twelve_ , taking up the entire upstairs room. _Again._  Krista's been working at the Blue Magnolia for two years; Rod Reiss has been the owner for a week.

"God, I wish he would just _go away_ ," she groans to herself. Seeing her father makes her feel ill; attending to him and his posse of cronies even more so. Her father's been frequenting the restaurant for business lunches since he found out Krista worked there (he insists it's because of the food). But only in the last six months has he brought his mysterious new assistant with him. Krista doesn't notice Ymir descending the staircase behind her until she hears a wicked little laugh. 

"If you hate your dad so much, why don't you just quit?" Ymir asks, leaning against the banister. She wears her usual long black dress made of a thin, slinky material and thin, flat shoes.

Krista's throat clenches up. She knows she should leave. She could get a decent job virtually anywhere. "Because the only times I get to see you are when he comes here," she says weakly.

Ymir smiles, her hopes confirmed. "Can't argue with that." She joins Krista behind the hostess stand.

Krista sighs sharply. "I don't know why he doesn't just fire me like everyone else."

"Still trying to get on your good side," Ymir explains.

"Well I wish he would _give up_."

"You're too nice to him," Ymir says dryly. "You don't have to be, you know. He _won't_ fire you, I can tell you that. God knows he isn't nice to anyone but you." She glances around the room. "You're too nice for your own good. I like the real you better," she says, lightly placing her hands on Krista's shoulders, taking in the aroma of her perfume. 

"Well, some of that's my job, you know," she says defeatedly.

"I know," Ymir says. "Just like it's my job to be a bitch to whoever your dad tells me to."

"How can you even _work_ for him?" Krista asks.

Ymir pauses, then runs a finger down Krista's back. "Do you ever wonder why I never come see you on my own?"

She does wonder. She's been too shy to ask. Ymir deliberates for a moment; she doesn't want to rope Krista too far into her plot. But she's feeling confident.

"Most of the people who work for your dad," she says languidly, "aren't doing it because they _want to_." Ymir's tone of voice gives Krista a chill. 

"Oh god," she says, her eyes starting to burn with tears. "Is he blackmailing you?" She can't imagine any other reason someone like strange, elegant Ymir would work for her dad.

"You could put it that way," Ymir says. "I mean, really, do you think I want to work for the kind of man who doesn't talk to his daughter for twenty years and then decides to start again because his insane wife divorced him?"

"Why does he even let you _talk_ to me?"

"To get on your good side," Ymir says with a wry smile.

Krista wants to scream. She clutches two fistfuls of hair and sets her elbows on the hostess stand. "Ymir..."she says in a strained, hoarse voice, "all the new back-of-house staff...all the people he replaced...are they..."

"They're all being extorted in one way or another," Ymir says plainly. It's an exaggeration; they're all being extorted in exactly the same way she is: the threat of being sold or given up to science. But she's told Krista enough for one day. Her initiation into the world of shifters and sponsors can come later. "It's a lot cheaper to run a restaurant when you don't have to pay the staff."

Krista looks up, panicked. "What is he going to do to you when he finds out I know about this?"

"He won't find out you know," Ymir says, glancing at the crowded porch. "And he knows that even if you knew, you wouldn't do anything." The words sting. But Ymir doesn't mean them harshly. Krista takes deep breaths, trying to collect herself. "Hey, listen," Ymir says. "It's better for now if you _don't_ do anything. Don't worry. My tenure with your dad is almost up. And he's not going to get away with this for much longer. Don't tell anyone for now, ok?"

Krista feels drained, strangely and unpleasantly light.  "You better let your guests in soon," Ymir says. She opens the door to the basement and disappears. 

 

**

 

Levi sits on the back porch with his tea and a new stack of books, watching the rain over the marsh. A long shower, a plate of raw fish, and getting himself off twice have calmed him down substantially from his state of anxious desperation when Erwin left. It's the kind of serene gray morning he would have given anything for a few months ago. But it would be better with Erwin.

The back door creaks open and Erwin emerges. Levi turns around but doesn't get up. "I wondered where you went," Erwin says. He sits down next to Levi, pulls him close, and kisses him. When he draws back, he notices the way Levi's skin flushes afterward. "I was hoping I'd get to do that as soon as I got back."

"Tch," Levi scoffs. 

"It's a little harder to do that when you're a cat." 

"Most things are," Levi says defeatedly. 

Erwin strokes Levi's hair again and kisses his ear. "How was your morning?" He asks softly.

"It was fine," Levi says. "Been reading mostly. Thanks for the fish, by the way." Erwin smiles. Levi decides to leave out the details about cleaning the microwave. Or re-organizing Erwin's sock drawer. Or furiously masturbating in the shower to fantasies of riding Erwin's cock."How'd the practice go?" he asks nonchalantly.

"It was a mud pit the entire way," Erwin sighs. "You should have been there, you could have gotten me cleaned up," he says with a wink. He leans in and kisses Levi's neck. This, Levi thinks, is both the best _and_ the worst kind of torture.

"I wanted to ask you something," Erwin says. Levi feels a rush of heat surge through his body. "When the cycles start, how long does it take from when you first feel them happening to when you have to change?"

"Like how long can I go without changing once it hits?" Levi asks. Erwin nods. "Probably half an hour, max. I can get by for about fifteen minutes just fine. It starts to hurt after twenty. Wait much longer than thirty, and it can do some real damage."

Erwin leans back and looks thoughtfully over the marsh. "I was just thinking..." Levi feels a surge of anticipation again. "We really ought to get you some more clothes." Levi lets out a groan and lays his head in Erwin's lap. Erwin rubs his chest and neck. "I was thinking we should go today, while I still have time before classes start, and while you're still in a human cycle. But if you're getting close to the next one, I don't want to risk it." Erwin's voice turns tentative. "So, I was wondering...if you knew you had some time before it started, if that would be enough time to get to the car, and for you, to, well...hide, I guess. I feel kinda' bad asking you to do that, though."

Levi gazes up at Erwin from his lap. Clothes shopping isn't exactly the afternoon adventure he was hoping for, but it sure as hell isn't one he'll turn down. "Let's try it," Levi says decisively. Find something for you to take off of me later, he thinks. 

 

**


	13. Clotheshorse / Barfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin takes Levi to the mall. Ymir can't wait to get her revenge.

 

"Erwin, you're not gonna' make that light."

"Weren't we supposed to turn right back there?"

"Erwin, you need to get in the left lane if you're gonna make that exit."

A vague flicker of irritation arises in Erwin. Perhaps the list of things he'll have to forgive about Levi begins with backseat driving.

They pull up to a stoplight. A Cocker Spaniel puppy sticks her head out of the backseat window of the car next to them, eyes shiny with delight, tongue hanging from her mouth. 

"Huh," Levi says. "There's another shifter." He nods in the direction of the puppy. He tunes in for a moment. "She's young," he says. "Probably just a kid. Seems pretty stable, though."

"That's amazing," Erwin says. "How can you tell?"

"You know the sort of current thing that happens before I change?" Levi asks. Erwin nods, remembering the weird conductivity of the air around Levi's body. "Well, it never really goes away for a shifter, it's just the strongest before the change. Humans have it too, but it's extremely subtle, and obviously it doesn't shift. It's very, very hard to pick up on things in humans. Josephine could do it, but she trained at it for years."

The light switches to green and Levi's impressions of the puppy weaken as the cars move. "Anyway," he continues, "it's kind of like being able to smell it, except you don't use your sense of smell. I don't know if that makes any sense. It's like you know it's there, but you don't know _how_ you know.  You just kind of feel it, almost taste it even. Like I know how sound waves and light waves work, and how you perceive that. But this...it's hard to explain. It's not like normal seeing or hearing. You just...kind of know."

Erwin focuses on the road, slightly mystified by Levi's words. "That's really fascinating."

"Some shifters are great at it," Levi says. "Like I would imagine Mikasa's _very_ good at it. She picked up on a lot from me the other night. There was one woman I knew, back in the day. She was _incredible_. She could tell exactly what you were, immediately. Your age, sex, species, even how long your cycles were going to be. Even if _you_ didn't know. And nobody could figure out what she was. Tuning into her...so, when I'm around someone like Kenny, it's like TV static, it's like a stream. Kenny's pretty stable, so it's even, even though it's noisy, and kind of grainy. I don't even know what I sound like, and I'm not sure I even _want_ to know. Somebody like Mikasa, it's like looking at a candle. It's really nice, actually. I almost wish you could see it. There's something really special about her."

Erwin smiles. He senses the urgency in Levi's voice again, the need to talk when he still can. They reach another red light, and the puppy comes back into view. 

"It makes me think...if I could get that way..." Levi's voice begins to falter. "I don't even know how long it would take..."

Erwin gives Levi a sympathetic look and strokes his hair while the light is still red. 

Levi sighs. "Anyways, this woman...looking at her current was like looking at a diamond. I've never seen anybody so stable. She could basically snap her fingers and be a wolf, which is what she was. I only ever found out because she and I were at a party once where both of our bosses were. We were working, we didn't want to be there. No one I knew had ever seen her shift before that. Somebody got out of line, all her boss did was point, and she shifted and bit this other guy's throat right then and there. And then of course, she and I had to clean it all up." 

The light changes. Erwin feels uneasy. He realizes there's still a lot he doesn't know about Levi's life. "That's...wow. That's awful."

"She didn't have a choice. I haven't seen her in years."

Erwin drives quietly for a moment. "So...what do you see when you look at a human?"

"It's hard to say," Levi says. "You sense a current, but you don't get much detail. And it's _very_ vertical. Some occultists call humans the 'vertical animals.' That's also why trees are sacred to people—because of the strong verticality they have. You look at an animal, not a shifter, and it feels very earthy, kind of horizontal and dark." They turn into the shopping complex. "I mean, some animals," Levi continues, "have a strong verticality too. You look at apes, and they're almost human. Mom and Josephine took me to the zoo once when I was a kid, and it was freaky as hell. I had to go home."

They wait in a line of slow-moving cars. The mall is busy on a dreary Saturday. "So looking at a person...it's vague," Levi says, gazing out the window. "Besides the orientation of it, you might get some darkness or some light; you can kind of tell who's safe to be around and who's not. But the only reason I could tell that puppy is a girl is because she has this human verticality. In shifters, there's like a kind of tension, like a cross, almost."

"Maybe an inverted cross in your case," Erwin says with a grin.

"Tch."

"Because cats are low to the ground," Erwin explains.

"You think I'm some kind of demon," Levi says with mock offense.

"Hey," Erwin says, "I'm ok with being corrupted." He pulls into a parking space, and turns to Levi. "So, what do you see when you you look at me?"

"Light," Levi says quietly. He leans over and gives Erwin a kiss.

 

 **

 

The mall is crowded. Levi glances around nervously. He doesn't detect any other shifters. He and Erwin take the escalator to an upper floor of a shiny, modern department store. 

"You feeling ok?" Erwin lightly rests his hand on the small of Levi's back.

"Yeah," Levi says. "So far so good." He looks around again. "Erwin, this place is expensive."

Erwin doesn't want the cat to feel obligated. What he does want him to feel is dignified. Human. Secure.

"Listen, I wouldn't have brought you here if it was beyond reason," Erwin says, grinning. "Besides, we should get you some things that will last for a while." Erwin thinks of the money he had saved up for his fifth anniversary with Marie, still lying in a savings account, untouched. It's good to put it toward something new, he thinks. 

Levi wanders through the pristine aisles of clothes, unsure of where to even begin. He sighs. I used to have the most beautiful clothes, he thinks. He remembers combing through vintage shops with Isabel; saving up from the bookstore job he worked with Farlan, sometimes splurging on a nice belt or pair of shoes. The beautiful Italian wool suit jacket Farlan had found for him that he could have worn until it fell apart; the hand-studded denim vest with handmade patches that Isabel had made. 

"You all right?" Erwin asks.

"Overwhelmed," Levi says. He walks up to black blazer on a mannequin, reminiscent of his old favorite. He glances at the price tag and immediately slaps it down again and backs away.

Erwin laughs. "What's the damage?" He looks at the price tag. Well, it's not terrible. "You should at least try it on. Just for fun." 

"Fine," Levi says. Erwin flicks through the sizes on the rack, and pulls two that he thinks will fit Levi.

The little clerk prances over to them, a short man in tight jeans and horn-rimmed glasses. "Can I help you two find anything?" His enthusiasm makes Levi want to retch.

"Yeah," Erwin says, nodding. "Probably a lot. His house burned down." He gestures to Levi. "So we gotta replace some stuff."

"Oh. My. God," The clerk says with wide eyes. "That is so terrible." He stands incredulous for a moment. "Here, let's start by getting a fitting room started for you. What's your name?"

"Levi."

Erwin notices there's a sort of coldness to the way he says his own name. 

"My house burned down." Levi repeats dryly as the clerk skips off with the blazers.

"It's kind of true, right?" Erwin says with a shrug.

"Tch. Close enough." Levi supposes Erwin's right. He remembers the sight of Uri's Federal style house, which he used to clean top to floor, lit up by the glow of his beloved wardrobe going up in flames in the backyard fire pit.

"At least the important part survived," Erwin says, giving Levi a sneaky kiss on the head. Erwin sees Levi blush and wonders if pink doesn't suit him after all.

"Here, let me get you some bags," the eccentric clerk says, handing Levi a black nylon mesh tote. "I'll give you two a minute to look around?" he says with a hand-flip that reminds Erwin of a prairie dog. He flits off to another customer.

Erwin picks up a few shirts from a table; grays and blues, colors that remind him of Levi. "What do you think?" 

"They're really nice," Levi says quietly. Erwin smiles and drapes them over his forearm.

Levi realizes Erwin's not going to stop him. Or at least, he trusts him with his money. Levi decides not to reveal what an expert shoplifter he became after living with Kenny for a few years. He pulls a few more items off the back shelves and lays them in the bag; more socks, t-shirts. All black, Erwin thinks with a grin. Levi touches the sleeve of a soft gray sweater; it feels divine. But a glance at the price tag makes him back off. "Just try it on," Erwin says.  

Erwin feels a touch of nostalgia. He won't be buying Marie a birthday gift this year. He used to love shopping for her, finding something she liked but would never get for herself because it felt too indulgent or too expensive. She would always protest. But over time it became obvious how much she loved the gifts; a cashmere sweater, a watch, a Kitchen-Aid mixer. "I just wish you were as generous with yourself as you are with me," she used to say.

"Here, let me take those for you," the clerk says, relieving Erwin of the pile of clothes building up on his arm. Levi doesn't remember pulling quite so many items. "Y'all just let me know when you're ready," he chirps.

Levi approaches a display of jeans, grateful the store even carries his size. He shakes his head. "What is it?" Erwin asks.

"You can literally spend as much money as you want on jeans," Levi says. "Like twenty dollars or two thousand."

Erwin chuckles.

"I can do without the two thousand dollar kind, I don't need rhinestones and shit," Levi assures him.

"Good to know," Erwin says, grinning. 

Levi walks hesitantly to the fitting rooms. "I'll wait for you out here," Erwin says. "I need to find a tie, anyway." 

A few minutes later Levi peeks around the edge of the doorway and waves at Erwin to get his attention. "What do you think?" he says sheepishly. He wears the black blazer with a pale gray shirt Erwin picked out to go with it. Erwin smiles. He thinks Levi looks like a rockstar. The tone of the gray gives Levi's skin a kind of luminous warmth. It also makes the slight flushing in his cheeks more apparent.

"Ve-ry sha-arp," the clerk croons, passing by. "That's a good color for you, you have a lot of blue in your skin."

"I think it looks great," Erwin says. Levi nods and retreats to the dressing room for the next round. Maybe he'll get the blazer later, once he has an income again. But the shirt, and the jeans...what a grace to have clothes that fit. And the fabric! The fabric feels wonderful.

He pops back out in a burgundy sweater he would never have chosen for himself, but which he likes nonetheless. It has the same sort of enhancing effect on his skin. 

Erwin smiles and nods. He holds up a pink polo shirt.

"No," Levi says flatly.

"We could _match_ ," Erwin says with a ridiculous grin.

"No fucking way."

Erwin laughs. Before Levi goes back, he catches his arm. "Hey, do you want running clothes?"

"What?"

"Oh. I was thinking...maybe for later...if you wanted to come with me..."

"Sure," Levi says. He didn't even think of running clothes, but clearly Erwin wants him to have them.

Erwin approves of the next few iterations of dressed-up Levi.  The clerk takes the pile of clothes to the counter.

"We should get you more shoes," Erwin says.

Levi groans. "This is too much."

"Levi," Erwin says, gripping his shoulder lightly, "I'm happy to do this. Believe me. You need clothes anyways. Besides, you might have noticed, the person I used to spend all my money on is not in the picture anymore."

Levi throws his hands up in surrender.

"Come on," Erwin says quietly. "It'll help your cover. I need you to look like someone I'd hang out with, don't I?"

"Tch." 

Levi notices the tie draped over Erwin’s arm, a kind of blue chevron pattern. "What's that for?" 

"I always get myself a new tie for the first day of school," Erwin says, smiling. 

Levi nods. "That'll look great with your Easter egg shirts."

"I thought so too."

As they approach the counter, Levi feels it; the tingling running through his spine. "Fuck," he says. The clerk cocks an eyebrow. 

"You should call them back," Erwin says. Levi catches on. Erwin hands him the car keys. "Wait for me at the car?" Levi nods and walks as hastily as he can without drawing attention. As soon as Levi's out of sight, Erwin dashes back to the dressing room and grabs the black blazer. He points to a pair of dress shoes. "Do you have these in a seven?"

Erwin, where are you, Levi wonders anxiously. He lies under a blanket in the backseat, unseen. What's taking you so long? He hears the trunk of the car pop open as Erwin lays the bags inside. Erwin opens the unlocked door and peels back the blanket. Levi's cat face stares up at him. "Did anybody see you?" he asks quietly. The little cat shakes his head 'no.' "All right, buddy, let's go home."

Erwin starts the car and Levi climbs carefully into the passenger seat. He sets his paws on the edge of the window. As they merge onto the highway, he lets out a loud meow. Erwin realizes he's in the wrong lane.

Jesus, Erwin thinks. Even as a cat. 

 

**

 

It didn't take long for Jean to figure out there was something wrong with Marco. The first night they meet, Jean's been glancing over at the bar from the crowded booth at the edge of the restaurant off and on the entire night. "What's the matter, Jean? You see something you like?" a heavily tattooed friend asks, taking a sip of her drink. "Yeah, actually," he says. 

When the chatty flock of artists leaves for the night, he stays behind and perches on a barstool. He's so anxious and far gone that it's not until he's downed a drink at the bar that it even occurs to him there's something off about the large-eyed, freckled bartender. He tunes in and realizes he's another shifter. Jean's encountered so few, he's not used to even looking. He's too shy to get the man's number. He decides to come back.

He wanders in a few nights later and the conversation picks up. 

"How'd you end up working here?" Jean asks. 

"I used to work down on Saint Simons," Marco says. "Family business, you know how it goes. I just decided it was time for a change." 

The first part of it is true. The Bodt family operates a beautiful old Georgian hotel on a marshy island an hour south of the city. Marco and his sisters worked all kinds of various jobs there—but for pay, and, more often than not, alongside the Bodt siblings they grew up with.  

The lights come up for last call. Jean works up the courage to ask for Marco's number. 

"Ah," he says, "I really wish I could."

The sting of rejection splinters through Jean's body. 

"No, it's not that," Marco says, sensing Jean's distress. He leans closer to the edge of the bar and looks around the emptying restaurant for Reiss's cronies. "The real reason is that...um...I don't have a phone."

Jean looks confused.

"They took it away." 

"Wait...who's they?" 

Marco doesn't know what to say. He glances around nervously.

"Oh my god," Jean says. The color drains from his face as the realization hits him. "Does anyone know?"

Marco shakes his head. "We almost never get other shifters in here. And when we do, they're not even looking, most of the time."

Jean sighs painfully. He looks at his watch and pulls his wallet from his pocket. His own long face stares up at him from his fake ID. "How much do I owe you?" He asks.

Marco laughs softly. "Zilch. They're not paying me to be here, so I decided not to charge my favorite customers," he says with a hopeful smile. From the corner of his eye, he sees Rod and Ymir start to descend the stairs. "You should go," he says nervously. 

Jean gets up to leave.

"Come back and see me?" Marco asks. Jean smiles. Marco doesn't have to ask twice.

 

**

 

The rain has thinned out to a light drizzle during the lull between lunch and dinner at the Blue Magnolia. Jean sits at his favorite spot at the bar, admiring Marco's butt as he wipes down the counter. He'd like to think there's something special about Marco's personality that makes him feel less awkward, more open, more spontaneous. But then, he thinks, that could just be the stream of free alcohol.

"Here, try this," Marco says, handing him an amber colored drink: cider with a splash of local whiskey.

"It's really good," Jean says. Marco smiles. Horses love apples, he thinks. 

Rod glances down from the upper mezzanine, shoving some documents into a briefcase. In a split second, Ymir catches a glimpse of her own face from the table. He has photographs and descriptions of each of shifter on the back-of-house staff, ready to be sent off at a moment's notice. She fights the urge to shift right then and there.

"Who's that barfly?" Rod asks in a disgruntled voice. "He's here all the time."

Ymir smiles an evil smile. "Your next target," she says languorously. "I've been tracking him. He's quite taken with your Dalmatian bartender, you should be glad."

An expression of greedy excitement unfurls across Rod's face. "What is he? Another dog?"

Ymir shakes her head slowly. "Better." Rod looks at her with deepening curiosity. "He's a fox," she says. "Extremely rare." She glances down at the bright blaze of Jean's blonde hair. "From what I can tell," she drawls, "he won't be missed."

Rod gives a dry chuckle. "Excellent. Good work, beautiful." He takes a sip of his drink. 

If Rod's compatriots didn't have such strict oversight in terms of buying supplies and ingredients for the restaurant, she'd think to just poison him. Maybe some bad shellfish, she thinks. 

"What's your plan?" Rod asks.

"I'm thinking Wednesday night." Her voice has a forced, syrupy character. She fights to maintain the illusion that she enjoys preying on the other shifters as much as Rod does. "He'll be back for the open mic. Let your bartender go home with him. As bait. He'll be easy to follow."

Rod grins a wicked, satisfied grin. Ymir maintains her smug expression, struggling to tamp down the surge of furious anger lighting up her current.

Jean and Marco look at each other, picking up on the strange shift in the atmosphere. "Did you feel that?" Marco asks. Jean nods. They don't look up at Ymir. 

  


	14. Convince me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has a breakdown from the stress of the erratic cycle. His zeal for life is restored by the prospect of sushi.

 Erwin sets Levi lightly on the bed. He curls up into a little fuzzy donut. Erwin notices his fur is beginning to grow over the grizzly surgical scars. He lays Levi’s clothes from before over a chair, and leaves the shopping bags by the night table. 

His phone buzzes: a text from Mike.

_We still on for dinner tomorrow?_

_—Yep_ , Erwin replies.

_Mind if Reiner brings a friend?_

— _Nope_

_Great!!_ Then, a few seconds later, _did you get your tie?!_

_—Sure did_

Erwin wonders what state Levi will be in when Mike and Nanaba come over the next day. Hopefully human. He sits on the porch with his laptop for about an hour until he hears an anguished scream from the bedroom.

"Levi?" 

A naked, human Levi, sits on the bed, gripping the covers with white knuckles and gritted teeth.

"This..." he seethes, "This...is going to drive me _insane_." He glares in front of himself as if at a figure in the room only he can see. He lets out another scream and throws his head back, gripping his hair. "Why is this _happening_ to me?" He collapses onto the mattress and begins sobbing, his jaw still clenched. "Why can't I just _predict it_? This..." 

Erwin sits down next to him and just lets him cry.

"There are _two_ things that will fuck up someone's cycles for sure," he says, lecturing at the invisible figure, his fingers tense, curled. "Trauma, and injury. And some people," he says, choking back a sob, " _some people_ will do _both_! If you _really_ wanna' fuck somebody up, take away something or somebody they love, or _injure_ them. And if there's anything _else_ that does it, anything that puts you back at absolute _zero_ , well, I don't wanna' fucking know! I hope I never fucking find out! Because I've had all of this I can take!" He drops his hands and his head falls to his chest, his body heaving.

Erwin rubs Levi's back in slow, circular strokes. He has no idea what to say, so he just starts talking. "Hey," he says. "I don't even know the bulk of what's happened to you. I can't even imagine it. But you're safe here, ok? We're going to figure this out." Levi lays his head in Erwin's lap and stares out the window. Erwin puts one hand on Levi's chest and lets the other run through his hair. Levi takes sharp, heavy breaths. 

"I can't do this," Levi says. "I can't fucking live like this. Not knowing. Never knowing when it's gonna' happen. I can't do fucking anything. Kenny _knows_ that. That son of a bitch..."

"Was it too much today? With the car?" 

"No," Levi says. "That was fine. The car thing worked great. Nobody saw me. It was nice to be outside, back in the world. I had plenty of time. The transition didn't even hurt that much."

"Isn't that progress?"

"I guess. Yeah."

Erwin keeps stroking Levi. "That's good," he says quietly. "We'll start with that." The rain still spatters down outside, the light turning an uneasy orange as the sun starts to set behind the dense clouds. "If you're at zero, then we'll just start with that." Levi takes a few more deep breaths. He can sense the quality of Erwin's light. Subtle. Human. But still a comforting presence he can gear into, let it carry him. Erwin looks at Levi and notices a series of faint burns and scars running down his hip. "Things are gonna' get better, ok? I promise. Nothing's gonna' be like it was. Everything's gonna' be better from here on out."

Levi wants desperately to believe him. They sit quietly for a few moments. "I hate this," Levi whispers.

"What?"

"You always having to take care of me."

Erwin gently tilts Levi's face toward him, letting his hand rest lightly on his jaw. He looks at Levi solemnly and shakes his head. "You have no idea."

Levi squints.

"You have no idea," Erwin says, looking out the window, "how much you being here does for me."

Levi closes his eyes. A few moments of silence pass. 

"I don't much feel like cooking tonight," Erwin says, "and I know you don't even like your food cooked in the first place. Do you want to get some sushi?" Levi's eyes flutter open.

Levi smiles, and it makes Erwin feel warm. "Yes," he says, as if he's never been more certain of anything in his life.

 

**

 

Moblit wedges the last of Jean's canvases into the back of his SUV. Amazing, he thinks, to have your whole life fit into a car. He pictures his and Hange's house, packed with years of odds and ends, endless books, the heirloom furniture from both sides of both of their families, the fertile chaos that pervades. I hope we _never_ have to move, he thinks. 

Jean hugs Carla and Grisha. "Thanks again," he says. "For everything."

"Oh, of course," Carla says. "It's our pleasure."

"And if you need anything," Grisha says, "you can always call us and say it's about something else." They laugh dryly.

"What a weird guy," Eren says as the car leaves the driveway.

"I thought he was nice," Armin says.

"You think everyone's nice."

"That's because I'm friends with _you_ ," Armin says with a wry grin. Eren scoffs and rolls his eyes, getting up from the table to leave. "Oh my god, I'm _joking_ ," Armin says, reaching for Eren's arm. "Come here." He pulls Eren back down into his chair, holds his face lightly in his hands and kisses him. "God, you are so sensitive," Armin says. Eren gives him a look. "Sometimes you're worse than _me_ ," he adds. Eren shakes his head and resumes the kiss, his hand finding the back of Armin's neck. They hear footsteps by the door and pull away, just looking at each other as the others walk in. Carla goes back to her workshop; Grisha sits back down in his office.

"Did you think he was hot?" Eren asks after a minute.

"I mean, kinda," Armin says sheepishly. The look on Eren's face makes Armin laugh. "Eren. He's also too old for me, not interested, totally infatuated with someone else, _leaving_ , a shifter, which I don't really ever wanna' date, I'm not gonna lie—" Armin counts on his fingers.

"He was kinda interested," Eren says skeptically.

"Was he?"

"You couldn't tell?"

"I dunno," Armin says, throwing his hands up. "We didn't even really talk that much and most of the time he was here he was just drawing." 

Eren pouts.

"Oh my god. Eren," Armin says, chuckling. "Let it go. It doesn't matter."

Eren just stares.

"What?" Armin asks. "You want me to convince you?" He grins. Eren grins. They walk discreetly into Eren's basement.

 

**

 

Levi sits up, his zeal for life restored by the prospect of sushi. 

"You should wear one of your new outfits."

"Tch. Sure," Levi says, smiling in spite of himself. He reaches into one of the bags and pulls out the black blazer.

"Erwin," he hisses. "What is this."

Erwin smiles from ear to ear. He shrugs. "It looked good on you." Levi stares at him. "What? I wanted you to have something nice!" he says emphatically.

"Everything you got me is nice," Levi says, letting himself fall back onto the bed. 

"So?" 

Levi shoots him another look.

"Levi, come on," Erwin says. "They're paying me more to be a cross country coach as it is. If I have to abandon you to go run, at least let me get you something you like to wear for when I do get to see you." 

Levi smiles weakly.

"Hell," Erwin says, "You don't even get to _wear_ clothes half the time anyways. You gotta make it count."

Levi's not sure whether to laugh or cry. He laughs. Erwin starts laughing too. Levi reaches into the bag and pulls out the dress shoes. "God damn it, Erwin," he mutters.

Erwin places his hands on Levi's shoulders. "Levi," he says authoritatively, "Get over it. Let me be nice to you. _Please._ It makes me happy."

"Ok, ok, ok, _fine_ ," Levi says, still heaving with quiet laughter. Then he glares at Erwin. "But only if you let me clean the house."

"Fine," Erwin says. "It's a deal." He gives him another kiss and lets him get dressed.

Erwin turns to look at Levi as they walk out the door. "You look great," he says.

"Tch."

Erwin gives him a knowing look. "What did I _just_ say to you about letting me be nice to you?"

Levi rolls his eyes. "Thank you," he says dryly.

Erwin smiles and shakes his head. "Get in the car."

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one tonight; some real behemoths coming later. Sushi, smut, and vengeful plots are in the works.


	15. Floating World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi go on a date. Erwin learns some unsavory details about Levi's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has mentions of violence, torture, and suicide.

A bright lantern hangs over the entrance to the restaurant with a little dangling sign that reads "Floating World."

Levi feels a little surge of glee as they get out of the car. "I haven't been here in years."

"I didn't know you knew this place," Erwin says.

"Yeah," Levi says, nostalgic. "I used to come here all the time, with friends of mine. I love this place," he says with his delicate reverence.

"Oh," Erwin says, "Just in case." He hands Levi the car keys. 

"Thanks." Levi puts the keys in his blazer pocket, praying he doesn't have to leave. He lets his awareness sweep the space around him. He doesn't sense any other shifters. 

The restaurant is dark and cozy, lined in lacquered wood, lit by paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling and little glass oil lamps resting on the tables. The hostess seats them in a small corner booth. Levi sits close to Erwin, letting their legs touch under the table.

"It seems like you've been human a lot more often lately," Erwin says. 

Levi waits for the server to finish pouring them cups of green tea before he replies. "I had to be a cat out in the woods for so much of the time before I met you, I think my body's trying to restore the balance. Not that I mind." 

Erwin nods and takes a sip of tea. "You said you used to come here a lot?" 

"Yeah, with Farlan and Isabel. They were my sponsors for a few years. Well," he says, picking up the little ceramic cup, "I considered Farlan my partner. Isabel lived with us. The two of them were friends before I met them," he says a little hesitantly.

Erwin smiles, glad that Levi seemed to have some peace, at least for a few years. "How'd you meet them?"

"At a bar not far from here, actually. They were speaking German. So I walked up to them and told Farlan he should buy me a drink in German."

"I see," Erwin laughs. "And how did _that_ go over?"

"Great," Levi says with a mischievous grin. "I ended up bar hopping with them for the rest of the night. And the rest was history."

A server sets tiny sauce dishes and two pairs of chopsticks on the table. Erwin enjoys the shift in Levi's composure. Levi takes another sip of tea. "They made a real odd couple. They were both students; she was a college junior and he was working on his master's. They met in the German club. Don't think they ever would have crossed paths otherwise. Bunch of nerds," Levi says with mock derision. 

"You never went to the German club?" Erwin asks, smiling. 

"Tch, I went all the time," Levi says, with the troublemaker grin that Erwin loves so much. "Besides Farlan and Izzy, no one ever knew I wasn't a student. It was great. Crashed anything I wanted: parties, lectures, whatever."

"You probably went to more classes than some of Isabel's friends,"  Erwin says, remembering the cast of characters from his own college days. 

"Possibly." 

"Are you ready to order?"  The server asks. 

"We still need a minute," Erwin says, acknowledging the menu for the first time. 

"I'll come back."

Erwin glances at the glossy page. "What do you think of the sashimi platter?" 

"Yes," Levi says, his eyes glowing with excitement. "I think—yes." Erwin waves the server over. 

"We're gonna' split the sashimi platter," he says proudly. 

"Are you sure?" she asks, giving him a side-eyed glance. "It's a _lot_ of food."

"We're hungry,"  Levi says. 

"Oh-kay," she says bemusedly, jotting down two characters on her note pad. "Anything to drink?" 

"The Twelve Cranes sake for me," Levi says. 

Erwin squints at the menu. "I'll have the Friends of Winter." 

"That was Isabel's favorite," Levi says with a soft sigh. He's partially present, the other half of his consciousness with ghosts at a nearby table. "Man, being here makes me miss them," he says, as if he could possibly miss them more. "Izzy was a riot. No filter whatsoever. She could say anything to anyone. She'd get us kicked out of places if we weren't careful."

"Somehow I doubt that bothered you."

Levi tilts his head. "Eh, it depended on the place," he says casually. "Farlan...was a lot more reserved. Pretty laid back. Never came out." He was more like you, Levi thinks, looking at Erwin.

"Sounds like you sort of met them in the middle, then."

"Yeah," Levi grins, "you could put it that way."

The server sets two small glasses of gleaming clear liquid in front of them.

"Can I ask what happened to them?" Erwin says.

Levi sips his sake quietly for a moment. "They were in a car wreck. About three years ago."

"I'm so sorry," Erwin nearly whispers.

Levi shakes his head. "You think I'm in bad shape now, you should have seen me then. God, that was a nightmare. I ended up moving back in with Kenny again. I'd lived with him for a few years after mom died. It was better the second time around, by a long shot. Our boss, Uri, was Kenny's sponsor, essentially. Kenny'd been working for him for almost ten years at that point."

"This is who you left, a few months ago?"

"Yeah," Levi says, feeling the pleasant burn in his throat. "Don't get me wrong, Uri's not that bad of a guy. Never touched the auction, anyway. Because of Kenny. He was into some fucked up shit, but he never dealt in people. Drugs mostly. Sometimes weapons. I mean, he owns other businesses too. Legit ones, not just fronts. So it wasn't like there wasn't anything for us to do."

Erwin looks slightly uneasy again. "What kinds of things did he have you do?"

"All kinds of stuff," Levi muses between sips of sake. "One day it'd be housekeeping, one day it'd be delivering something, one day it'd be breaking somebody's kneecaps with a crowbar. Or if Kenny and I were on-cycle as cats, we'd be out gathering information. Spying on people, basically." He notices Erwin's uncertainty and looks at him with a softer expression. "You shouldn't feel that bad for me, you know. I've had times when I've really had to work the pity angle to get something out of somebody. But not with you. Besides," he says, edging slightly closer, "once you can start predicting the cycle, it's not that bad. You can make plans. You know where to go. And there's a lot you can do as a cat that you can't do as a human." Levi rests his hand in Erwin's on the table.

"I never really thought about it that way." 

Levi gazes into his sake, pensive. "There's a lot of information you can get out of people when they don't know you can understand them." Erwin looks suddenly embarrassed. "Ah, no, I didn't mean—" Levi starts, giving Erwin's hand a squeeze. "Agh, I meant...conversations you're not supposed to hear. Not things people say to you directly."

Erwin smiles. "It's all right. I wished you could understand me the whole time."

"I got that sense." Levi sighs. "That's part of why it was so nice to be around you. You can tell a lot about a person from how they treat animals, you know."  

"I'm flattered," Erwin says. 

"I'm not trying to flatter you. It's just the truth. People are ruthless. I've met all kinds; I can tell you, you're at the top of the heap."

This kind of praise means more to Erwin coming from Levi than it possibly could from anyone else. Another server walks over to refill the tea. 

"People will surprise you, though. One thing I've learned is that no one is all good or all bad. People will turn on you when you least expect it; people will pull through for you when you least expect it. Kenny and I had some real vile characters stick their necks out for us when it mattered. You never really know." But you, Erwin, he thinks to himself: you I trust completely. He lets his eyes wander through the wood grain of the table, remembering. "Tch. I don't mean to talk your ears off," he says, looking back up at Erwin. 

"Levi," Erwin says. "You don't even _get_ to talk half the time. And I want to know about this kind of stuff. Besides, you've been listening to me moan and complain about my life for weeks."

Levi rolls his eyes. "Please. I know people who have shot their exes. Trust me. Bad as you feel, you're handling this pretty damn well."

"Thanks—I guess," Erwin says with a morbid laugh. "The bar's set pretty low for behavior in your world, isn't it?"

Levi laughs dryly. "Amazing how some people still manage to crawl under it."

"You talking about Kenny?" 

"Oh, Kenny's _far_ from the worst."

This causes Erwin great concern. "Do tell."

"I didn't even meet Kenny until right after mom died. His boss had gotten shot, so he needed a place to go, and he came looking for mom. And of course, he finds me, totally destabilized. So he took me in, so to speak, though we didn't really have anywhere to go. Those were some rough years. We lived in abandoned buildings mostly. And we were both sick, really unstable. Still had to hustle. Worked a lot of truck stops," Levi says with a grimace. "But that's where folks will surprise you. Ended up meeting a guy who knew exactly what we were 'cause he had his dog with him on his rig, who was another shifter. And they were really good guys, got us set up with some real work in town. And then," Levi says with an air of satisfaction, "we had some real lucrative years after that. You know. Spying on people and breaking kneecaps. Weed couriers. Whatever."  

Erwin doesn't want to pity Levi. He knows Levi isn't the kind of person who wants to be pitied. But his reality of relying entirely on other people, being totally at their mercy, makes Erwin feel a little hollow. 

The server notices the empty glasses. "More sake?" she asks.

"Yes," they say in unison. 

"So how did you end up with Farlan and Isabel?" Erwin asks.

"It's a long story."

"Levi," Erwin says in his gently reprimanding voice, "I'm a historian."

"Tch. Right. Anyways," he says, his eyes drifting between the lanterns on the ceiling as he thinks, "we did all right for ourselves for a while. Things were looking up. Then...we got taken in by Pastor Nick," his tone darkens. "That was another surprise, but the bad kind. Things were going great for like a month. He knew what we were, he paid us to keep his house and yard, we even had our own rooms; it was really working out. And then he sold us. It was a ruse."

"Wait a second...was he one of the ones involved in the big church scandal, about, what, seven or eight years ago?"

"Oh yes," Levi says. "That would just be one of many scandals for Pastor Nick. Nick was a first-class fraud, manipulator extraordinaire. If he weren't already dead, I'd do the job myself."

Erwin can't tell if Levi is kidding. New glasses of sake clink lightly against the table.  

"You know," Levi says, taking another sip, "it's amazing. People think they don't _sell people_ here anymore, like the history of all that ended with the Civil War." He shakes his head. "It's alive and well. But it's not just shifters they auction off, it's all kinds of normal people too; immigrants, children, whatever. Just on different nights of the week."

Erwin suppresses a shudder. He thinks back to the American History classes he's taken—and the ones he's taught. "Yeah," he says, looking up at the ceiling, "that detail gets left out." He turns cautiously back to Levi. "So...how did you two get out?"

"Took us a while." 

The server carries an enormous wooden boat covered in colorful slabs of fish and deposits it on the tiny table with a loud clunk. 

"Holy shit," Levi says. 

Erwin looks perplexed as the server leaves. He looks at the menu again and bursts out laughing. "Aw, hell," he says. "I didn't even see this. It says here it serves four people." 

Levi cackles. "I could be two people. Kind of."

"We'll go with that. Bon appetit," Erwin says, snapping apart the bamboo chopsticks.

Levi studies the piece of tuna hanging from the ends of his chopsticks, gleaming like a jewel. He takes a bite. "Oh my god,"  he says with an orgasmic moan. "This is so good." He looks at Erwin with supreme satisfaction. Erwin is determined to see him make that face again. 

"I think this was a good decision," Erwin says. 

"Oh. I have no regrets."

They begin to eat their way through the massive sushi boat. The contraption earns them stares from the rest of the restaurant. Levi is too preoccupied to care. 

"How'd you two manage to get out of the auction?" Erwin asks after a few pieces of fish.

"It's...a lot." 

"You seem surprised that I still want to know about your life," Erwin says gently.

Levi shrugs and goes distant for a moment. He _is_ surprised. He's not _used_ to anyone wanting to know. "I don't want to ruin your dinner."

Erwin raises his eyebrows. "Try me."

Levi squints. "Challenge accepted," he says wryly. "Well, I guess you do teach history, you know all the fucked up shit that goes down that doesn't make it into the textbooks."

"Quite a bit of it. I try to break it to my students as gently as I can."

Levi nods. "We got bought by a man named Nikolai Lovoff."

"The banker?" Erwin thinks of all the buildings brandished with the Lovoff name around the city.

"Tch. Lovoff was a monster." Levi's voice is frighteningly cold. He shakes his head and picks up another piece of sashimi. "Yeah, he _was_ a banker. He was retired when we met him. He fancied himself a sort of...collector. Experimenter. I mean, he was a sadistic fuck, whatever you call him. I don't think he planned on buying us, initially. There was a woman ahead of us, this tall, beautiful woman who turned into some kind of dog, some kind of pointer. And anyways, what they make you do during the auction...basically they point a gun at you and make you shift in front of the whole room." He takes another bite.

"That does two things," he says, gesturing with his chopsticks. "The first is that it shows everyone you are what they say you are." He takes a sip of sake. "The second is that it puts you in a really weakened state. Unless you're totally stable, shifting at will is almost unbearably painful. So this lady, she gets up on the block and Lovoff tells her to shift. And she won't do it. She just flat refuses. And this goes on for a few minutes, and bam! Lovoff just shoots her, right then and there."

"Jesus," Erwin says, reaching for a piece of squid.

"Oh," Levi shakes his head. "We haven't even gotten home yet." He examines a piece of yellowtail. "So Lovoff takes us instead. I don't even remember how much he paid. We get to his house and he takes us to the basement, through the back. And the first thing we see when we get there...he had some other shifter he'd been keeping there. A woman. We never found out what she was or even her name. She'd hung herself with an electrical cord while Lovoff was gone."

Erwin rests his forehead on his hand, his elbow propped against the table. 

"You ok?" Levi asks. 

" _I'm_ fine," Erwin says, looking back up. "You're the character I care about in this story." He reaches for his glass. "So what happened after that?" 

"He had us do some work for him. Nothing we weren't used to. But mostly Lovoff was fascinated by the transformation. He always wanted to see it. And of course, how do you make someone's cycles short, so they're changing _all_ the time?"

Erwin sets down his chopsticks. He feels cold at the realization. "He tortured you."

Levi nods slowly. Erwin remembers Grisha's comment about deplorable situations; then the little trail of scars on Levi's hip. He starts to think the list of things he could forgive Levi for is longer than he realized. 

"This went on for maybe a month. And I knew why that other woman wanted to die." Levi gazes down at the table again. "He used to throw all these parties for his auction friends. And you know," Levi says, "when I was pretending to be a student, every so often I went to some of these parties where people there are doing weird shit like getting suspended from the ceiling or hanging out in cages or whatever. As long as people _want_ to do it, I don't really care. But these parties of Lovoff's...well, you can imagine, when half the people there are shifters from the auction."

"That's sick."

"It was awful." Levi wipes his mouth. "You should try the yellowtail, by the way, it's delicious." He points with his chopsticks. Erwin obliges. "So one night," Levi continues, "we're both in our human forms and he gets the idea to have us be like butlers at one of these parties, pouring drinks and such. And at the end of the night, he tells his wife Natalia to keep an eye on us while we clean up. And of course she _doesn't_ ; she's tired and drunk, and she knows we're tired, she doesn't think we're gonna' do anything." He reaches for a strip of orange salmon. "So I take a wine bottle and break it over a table and get her with it. And then Lovoff runs back in from making some deal and Kenny goes after him. But both of us are pretty weak at this point. So, Kenny manages to restrain him...and I'm ready to _kill_ him. But Kenny says to wait. So I break his feet with the iron poker from the fireplace. We throw him in the basement. And then," Levi says, looking into the little oil lamp, "We burned that place to the ground. We took some clothes and all the money we could find and ran." 

Erwin notices Levi's hands as he talks; strangely delicate, with narrow wrists, and long fingers and nails. There's an elegant, epicurean mannerism to how he eats. It's striking, Erwin thinks, how someone can be so crass, so full of bitterness and grit, and yet have this level of refinement, a kind of strange sophistication. He's sharp, Erwin thinks. Remarkably so. Erwin glances around the restaurant, grateful for all the noise and chatter concealing their conversation. 

"I think if I were in your position I would have done the same thing," he says solemnly, with no moralizing. "Most normal people have no idea what they're capable of doing until they're in a crisis." 

Levi realizes he was bracing himself for condemnation. Erwin’s reaction is a relief. "I wish we hadn't had to kill Natalia," Levi says, to Erwin’s surprise. "I used to think she was this worthless bitch, for not helping us, even though she never laid a finger on us. Took me a while to realize he pretty much treated her like a piece of property, too. He controlled everything, all the money, everywhere she went, who came over...I wouldn't have wanted to be her. Life is pretty fucked up for shifters. But there's a lot of normal people I wouldn't want to be."

"Interesting that you see it that way."

The sever offers them more sake. Levi accepts, Erwin declines. Erwin begins to detect the faintest slur to Levi's words.

"Yeah," he says, waxing nostalgic. "I met Farlan and Izzy after the whole Lovoff debacle. In between I lived on my own in the woods for a while. Wanted to get away from people. But there was this little kid that would take care of me when I was a cat; he was maybe six, little blonde head like a coconut. This really lonely kid. I'd set up a camp by the river on the edge of town, and just hunted all my food as a cat, or canvassed the neighborhood and let people feed me. So he fed me. Said his parents wouldn't let him have a cat, but it was ok, _I_ could still be his cat," he says with a pitiful grin, starting to feel the glow of the alcohol, remembering the utter sincerity in the child's voice.

Erwin goes back to his tea, preparing for the drive home. He hesitates to admit how much he's been enjoying Levi's stories.

"So one day," Levi continues, "he finds me out in the woods, like a mile from his house. He just started wandering around and got lost, and was panicking. I was in my human form and I'd set up a fire on top of this huge rock overlooking the river and was sitting by it. And he asks me who I am and I make up some bullshit story about how I'm the king of the forest. And his eyes just light up, he loves it, just totally eats it up. Doesn't care about being lost at all. So I just let him run around, look for firewood, make a mud castle, whatever. It starts to get dark and I walk him back to the house and just watch from a distance. He's covered in mud, his hair's wet, and he's just as happy as he can be. And he gets to the door and his parents didn't even know he was missing."

They've put a substantial dent in the fish, Erwin notices. Most of it, he realizes, has been eaten by Levi. Not that he minds. 

"I tried to listen in around that house more often after that. Found out his parents were professors. And just the most selfish, self-absorbed people you ever met. I don't know why they even had a kid if not to use him as a bargaining chip. They were awful. They were rich, they were smart, they had this great, funny kid, and this gorgeous house, and they didn't even care about any of it. They had everything and they were the most miserable people I've ever seen. Just blew me away. I decided to never be jealous of anyone again after that. I tried to come see the kid as much as I could, but eventually he was gone; they sent him off to live with his grandfather and I never figured out where."

That sounds alarmingly like the Arlerts, Erwin thinks. He picks up another piece of fish and looks at Levi. So you'll burn down a sadist's house and then build campfires with a six-year-old, he thinks. People are complex; complexity is compelling. 

"What?" Levi asks, feeling Erwin's gaze.

Erwin shakes his head. "My life seems rather boring and sheltered compared to yours."

"Everything's relative," Levi says. "I've been around you long enough to know it wasn't always some cakewalk." His hand finds Erwin's again. "It made you the kind of person who helps someone like me, anyways."

"It's certainly gotten a lot more interesting in the last few weeks," Erwin says. And a lot better, he thinks.

They're quiet for a few moments. The last few pieces of sashimi disappear from the boat. Erwin rests his hand on the small of Levi's back as they walk to the car. He can't remember when he's had a date as good or as profoundly strange. 


	16. Claw marks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gains a new appreciation for his partially transformed state. Marco helps Ymir refine her schemes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, fun story: this is the first of the smut-containing chapters, and I was writing this on a flight to Ireland for my sister's wedding. The minister from the church we went to growing up ended up sitting right in front of me. And the whole time I was writing, I was just thinking: no regrets.

Levi opens the closet door to hang up his jacket. Erwin's already made space for his new clothes and hung them up while he was asleep as a cat. _Of course_ , he thinks. He kicks off his shoes and lays them by the others. They look comically small next to Erwin's. Then another thought strikes him: _it's almost like you_ live _here_. He wonders if he should take off everything else, or just wait.

He's right where he wants to be: pleasantly, lightly drunk. Not sloppy, but with enough of a halo to blot out the surge of nervousness he can't avoid. He lays down on the bed and the current running through his back feels even, subtle; no immediate threat of change. Erwin flicks through emails on his phone. "You ok?" he asks Levi, ruffling his hair.

"Yeah," he says. "Just digesting."

"I'm amazed you're not in a coma after that meal."

"Tch. I'm a cat. Eating fish is the one thing I'm good at."

Erwin sets the phone down. "I doubt that."

"What?"

"That you're only good at one thing." He looks affectionately at Levi.

Levi rolls his eyes. "Ok. Maybe fighting. Speaking German. _Cleaning_."

"No way that's the end of the list. You left out storytelling. Listening to mopey old men. Looking good in black jackets…kissing." He leans down and reaches for Levi's chin, tilting Levi's face to meet his.

It's not that Levi doesn't want to kiss Erwin. The answer to that question is virtually always yes. But his body stiffens, and it takes a few moments and the pressure of Erwin's hands on his neck and back for him to fully relax.

"I'm sure the list goes on and on," Erwin says with a grin. He leans over Levi, who lies resting in the cage of his arms.

Levi shuts his eyes and tilts his head back. "I wish I could add 'being human.'" Alcohol and anxiety wage a little war in his body. Come on, he thinks; you've been wanting this for weeks. God, why can't you just relax?

Erwin looks at Levi beneath him, his peculiar expression of stillness, but no peace. "Give it time," he says quietly. He pulls Levi closer. "You know I want you stay here, right? As long as you want to." His lips graze Levi's neck, his cheek brushing down Levi's shirt collar. "If there's anything I can help you with, it's that."

"You've already helped me so much," Levi says softly.

"Why don't I help you out of that new shirt?"

"Oh my god," Levi lets out a little snorting laugh.

Erwin brushes Levi's ear with his thumb. "There's that smile." That rare, hard-won smile I'd do anything to see, he thinks.

Levi rolls his eyes again and reaches for Erwin's neck, pulling himself up to kiss him. Erwin slides open the buttons of Levi's shirt and lets his hand rest on Levi's chest for a moment. Levi relishes the heat and the weight of it, letting it pin him lightly to the bed. He sits up and pulls the thin undershirt over his head. Erwin grabs his waist and looks at him with a contented, faintly predatory smile. It gives Levi a rush to be looked at like that, to be unquestionably wanted.

Erwin's arms slacken slightly; his grip on Levi softens and he draws back.

"What's the matter?" Levi asks.

Erwin had hardly anticipated his streak of celibacy ending so soon, or with someone as maddeningly attractive. He'd considered dating other men again, but never imagined meeting anyone quite like this. "Nothing," he says. "It's just…been a while for me."

"Same for me," Levi says with a wistful look. "We're even." He'd had a few disappointing hook-ups since joining up with Kenny and Uri after Farlan and Isabel's wreck, trawling the bars when he was stable enough to stay human for at least a few days. But even when it was satisfying physically, more often than not it simply amplified his grief for Farlan, throwing into stark relief everything that wasn't there.

Erwin begins to undo Levi's belt. "May I?"

"Please," Levi says, leaning back on his elbows. Erwin slides off his jeans and underwear. Levi immediately notices the temperature of the air, feeling suddenly very exposed, already hard. He feels Erwin's eyes sweeping his body.

"You're really very striking, you know," Erwin says. "To put it lightly." Levi bristles at the praise. How can you be so repulsed by something you want to hear so badly, he wonders. He exhales heavily.

Erwin pulls off his own shirt and notices Levi's hungry expression. "What? Nothing you haven't seen plenty of times before," he says playfully. Erwin has a tendency to be shirtless in the house, if not all together naked, and a tendency to scrutinize his body in the mirror. Levi turns red and shrinks back, having shamelessly watched Erwin before he knew what Levi really was.

Erwin lies down and pulls Levi on top of him. "It _might_ have been a problem if you turned out be someone I wasn't thrilled to see naked myself." Levi lays on Erwin's chest, letting Erwin's hands grip the back of his neck, travel down his back, grip his upper inner thigh. He feels Erwin's hardness through his jeans, the heat flooding into the fulcrum of his body.

For someone as short and alarmingly lean as Levi, he's astonishingly heavy. But the pressure feels good against Erwin's body. He pulls Levi into another kiss and begins to tease him with his fingers, feeling a ripple of tension pass through him; a slight shudder, and then release. He draws a little jar of oil from the drawer of the night table and swirls his fingers in it, then resumes his slow, gradual opening of Levi.

He notices Levi gripping the sheets and guides Levi's arms around his shoulders instead. Levi grabs a handful of Erwin's hair, the slightly longer portion at the back, and gives it a light pull. "That's better," Erwin says, listening to Levi's heavy breath. Not a purr, but strangely evocative; little gasps and moans as he slides farther onto Erwin's fingers. Eventually Erwin carefully withdraws his hand. Levi sits up as Erwin slides off the rest of his clothes. Levi's eyes widen with a mix of excitement and fear at the sight of Erwin's substantial erection. Erwin gives another wily grin.

"Come here," he says, pulling Levi forward, guiding Levi's cock into his mouth. Levi's back stiffens and relaxes as he leans against the headboard; Erwin tightens his grip on Levi's hips to temper the involuntary bucking, but Levi just lets out a little moan.

Erwin reaches for a condom from the drawer when the air begins to densify again, the strange aura settling into the room. Levi feels numb with anger. He collapses back onto Erwin's chest, gripping Erwin's shoulders, cursing his life.

"Levi, it's ok," Erwin says, rubbing his back slowly, trying to ease some of the tension.

"I can't stand this," Levi says weakly into Erwin's collarbone.

"I know," Erwin says, still trying to calm the frazzled Levi.

"I either want to kill something, or I want to die."

Erwin senses the current, the sparking and crackling coursing through Levi's body. "It's ok, it's ok, this is just what happens, it's going to get better, all right? We'll just work with it."

Levi lets out an agonized groan and lets the strange electricity take over. He lies still with Erwin for a few moments until Erwin's body makes a sharp, sudden thrash.

"Erwin? What the--" Levi recoils in terror, pulling his blood-tipped claws from Erwin's back. "Oh no…oh my god…" he sinks back onto his knees and becomes aware of the long, furry tail extending behind him. His body feels numb, cold with horror.

"Levi, are you ok?" Erwin asks, touching the series of tiny puncture wounds along the back of his shoulders.

"I'm so sorry," he manages to whisper, still frozen.

Erwin shakes his head. "Levi, I'm fine, I was just startled, that's all. I'm serious. I'm fine." Erwin was startled, not just from the unexpected pain, but from how much he liked the sensation of the pinpricks on his skin.

Levi's posture softens a little. Erwin sits up, letting Levi straddle his hips. "Don't worry about this. Ok?" He wraps his arms around Levi's torso, his body tense as a steel cable. He rests his cheek against Levi's heart. "I'm serious." He gives Levi's tail a little stroke. Levi glances over Erwin's shoulders; the little cuts aren't as deep as he feared. He leans back and Erwin looks at him, his nose shorter and darker, dark lining around the edges of his eyes, making them gleam blue. "I even kind of like it when you're partially shifted like this," Erwin says. "It kind of suits you, you know. I just don't like that it stresses you out so much."

Levi sinks back. "I'm just not used to it," he says.

"Does it hurt?" Erwin asks cautiously.

"No," Levi says. "You really don't mind it?"

Erwin shakes his head. "I think it's nice. You could even say I'm…" his eyes dart back and forth for a second, "partial to it."

Levi groans and looks up at the ceiling. But when he looks back at Erwin there's a beginning of a smile. He starts to laugh. Erwin starts to laugh. They sit for a moment, heaving.

"If you can't laugh during sex, then what's the point," Erwin says, mostly to himself.

Well, possibly money, Levi thinks, but thankfully, that's not the situation here.

"I was going to say something about you being an animal in bed, but I decided against it."

"Thank you," Levi says dryly.

"I'll be right back." Erwin gets up and pulls peroxide and a cotton ball from the bathroom cabinet. He dabs at the little marks on his shoulders.

When he walks back into the bedroom, Levi is lying on his side, facing away from Erwin. Erwin lies down behind him and gives him a few long strokes, ears to tail.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like more of a freak of nature than I usually do," he mumbles.

"You remember I told you I thought you were a beautiful cat?"

Levi grunts.

"Well, the principle still applies."

Levi rolls over onto his back and gazes up at Erwin. He just shakes his head a little.

"What?" Erwin asks.

"I was going to give you some kind of compliment, but my brain shuts down a little when I look at you naked."

"That's actually not bad, as compliments go."

"Tch."

"Do you want to keep going?"

"What?"

"…do you still want to have sex?"

Levi squints. "Do you?"

"Well, yes, but only if you want to."

"I mean…yeah…if you do," Levi says, slightly confused. "Aw, fuck. I'm gonna' have to be really careful with my teeth."

"Might have to keep your fingers out of my ass," Erwin says bemusedly.

Levi lets out an exasperated groan and rolls back onto his side. "God, I hope this doesn't happen every time I have sex with you."

"Well," Erwin says, drawing himself up next to Levi, "if it does," he takes the base of Levi's cock in one hand and his neck in the other, "we'll just work with it." Levi arches his back and flicks his tail out of the way of Erwin's growing penis, beginning to push between his legs. He's surprised at how quickly Erwin gets him hard again.

"Use your tongue on me for a minute?" Erwin asks, laying onto his back.

Levi obliges, unaware of the swishing movements of his tail as he kneels over Erwin, giving his shaft long, messy strokes with his delicate tongue. Erwin feels decadent, watching Levi's face: how hard he's trying to please him while being wary of his teeth and claws. It makes him feel special, visited by something supernatural, feral and wild, normally withholding of its affections. He resists the urge to say, "Good kitty." They make eye contact and Erwin is stunned by Levi's strange beauty.

Erwin reaches for a condom again. "There was something else," he says quietly. "If you're not into it, we don't have to…" Levi gives him an eager, curious look. "When you got me with your claws," Erwin says as Levi winces, "I actually…kind of liked it. I think that was a little too much at once, but maybe if you…" He takes one of Levi's fingers and draws the claw lightly down his chest, not enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a thin bright mark, and give a sharp sting that makes Erwin tilt his head back with pleasure.

Levi grins mischievously. "I can do that." He eases himself onto Erwin's thick cock. He tries to concentrate but can't, overwhelmed by the feeling of Erwin inside him, steadying himself on his palms to avoid gouging Erwin again.

Erwin lightly grips Levi's tail. "Can I?" Levi nods. He gives his tail a little pull, and everything intensifies.

He's embarrassed by how quickly he comes, after just a few minutes at a relatively slow pace, a sticky trail now glistening on Erwin's toned stomach. Erwin looks at him with a supremely satisfied smile. But Erwin isn't far behind him; Levi drizzles his claws lightly down Erwin's side, and the sting of the scratches and Levi's tightness sends him over the edge. He lays back, letting the surge of pleasure course through his body. He grabs his undershirt off the night table and wipes off his stomach. Levi lays back down, blissfully exhausted. The static of his spine picks up again and his catlike traits recede back into his body painlessly. He doesn't even notice until a few minutes later, when Erwin strokes his hair and proposes a shower.

The hot water feels lush, decadent against Levi's skin. Erwin stands behind him and massages the last of the tension out of his shoulders, his back and his scalp. When he reaches the bedroom again, he lets his towel drop to the floor and sinks into the mattress, too tired to care. "This has been a hell of day," Erwin says, climbing in next to him. Levi groans in agreement and falls asleep immediately in the crook of Erwin's arm.

 

**

 

Flegel stands by the door of the dimly lit basement room. He scowls as Ymir walks in with Franz, his spine like a roman candle. "Where were you?" he asks indignantly, distressed at having been left alone with the shifters for so long.

"Doing my _other job_ , you moron. You know. The one you humans can't do without me," she says. "I'm watching a target." The target left hours ago. She's been plotting with Marco at the bar, screened by the deafening noise of the Saturday night crowd. She gives Flegel a sidelong glance. "You'd rather be doing _literally_ anything else right now, wouldn't you." Flegel looks at the floor. "What a rotten shame your dad put you up to this. Tell him you want to quit. If you can bear to stand up to him," she says bitterly. "Or have him make you a manager, or _something_."

Flegel bristles. Ymir's a sour character, but she's right. He's never agreed with the auction. But his cowardice has always overwhelmed his morals.

Franz steps behind a partition and puts his clothes and apron in a bag. A moment later, a Rotweiler walks out and joins the Border Collie, Hannah, pretending to be asleep on the floor. Flegel traipses up the stairs to join his father and Rod on the mezzanine looking over the restaurant. Mina sits in the corner, dressed, freshly transitioned.

"Please don't make me go back up there," she says to Ymir. "Please. I'm so tired."

Ymir scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"How much longer do Daz and Thomas have before they shift?" Mina asks.

Ymir shuts her eyes and feels them out from the restaurant floor above. "Sleep for forty five minutes," she says. Mina sinks back down with a grateful sigh.

Ymir hates policing the shifters every bit as much as Flegel does. If she had her way, she'd bite Reiss's throat in his sleep. Let everyone out. Try to track down the rest of her pack, or start a new one. Make her way north. Minnesota. Maybe Canada. But there remains the problem of identity, and the photos and profiles being leaked to the labs. If there's any benefit to becoming the perfect mirror for Rod's cruelty, it's that he's started thinking of her as a partner in crime, someone who enjoys the auction as much as he does, and that brings a measure of protection. Only four people know who she is for sure: Reiss, his cronies Reeves and Wald, and Reeves' sniveling, foot-dragging son, Flegel. Take out Reiss alone, and surely the others will come after her.

While Mina and the dogs sleep, she runs through her earlier conversations with Marco in her mind.

"I have to get them all to go together," she says to him at the bar. "At least the old ones. Flegel might not snitch. Especially if he thinks it was an accident. God knows he hates his dad enough."

"Hm," Marco says, shaking a martini. "Maybe dress it up as something. They think Jean's a fox, right?"

"Yeah. They're clueless."

Marco sets the drink at the end of the bar. "Tell them it's a fox hunt. Make it an event. Those old guys eat that stuff up, right?"

Ymir lets out a wicked laugh. "That's brilliant. That’s exactly the kind of shit they're into. And of course they'll want to see it, they've never seen a fox shifter."

"Neither have I," Marco says. "I wonder if they even exist."

"Maybe in Asia," Ymir says, taking a sip of bourbon.

"And if it's a fox hunt," Marco says, "They'll have to have a dog. So you'll _have_ to be there, ready to shift."

"They're going to want to leave someone here while they're gone. It's gonna' have to be Flegel. Shit."

Marco pulls a bottle of vodka off a high shelf. "He wants to be a manager, doesn't he? At least, more so than he wants to do grunt work for his dad, right?" He pours an overly generous dose of vodka into another drink, determined to waste as much expensive alcohol as possible. "Maybe Krista can talk to him about it. I hear her talking about how they need someone to cover more shifts."

"True." Ymir taps her foot. "All very true." She scans the restaurant. Reiss and company remain out of earshot upstairs. "Then there's the gun problem. See if Jean can get us handgun blanks."

"Are you sure that's going to work?" He twists a lemon peel and balances it on the edge of a glass.

"I'm thinking," she says, studying the row of glowing bottles, "this is the best we've got. I've _never_ seen them fire their guns. They're basically a security blanket. I mean, they're all a bunch of massive fucking cowards, so I'm not even surprised. I've seen Reiss go maybe once a month to the range on the edge of town. But I don't think he'd even notice if his had been tampered with." She waits for a group of chatty women to collect their drinks before talking to Marco again. "Once we get the blanks, pour the _stiffest_ drinks you can that night. I'll set up diversions. I'll make it work."

Alternate plans run through her head. Maybe she can get them to wreck the van. Get Jean to push something heavy into the road; get someone to pick her up; shift immediately and then not shift back until she can get the injuries treated. Something. There's got to be some way to clean out the three men in one fell swoop.

Mina and the dogs are all asleep. Ymir tunes into them and sees that the Pack Effect is starting to happen. Get enough shifters living together, and eventually their cycles begin to synchronize and lengthen. She misses the woods, misses sleeping in a pile with her pack under the stars, the group resonance they shared between them.

Someone ought to give me a fucking award, she thinks, for all the acting I've had to do to get this far.

 

**

 

It's nearly 3 AM when Levi shifts again. But the transition feels smooth and easy, lacking the usual stinging pain. The sparking air wakes Erwin up. He reaches over and pulls the little cat onto his chest. "Hang in there, kiddo," he says, rubbing Levi's head and ears. Levi rests his head on Erwin's collarbone and soaks up Erwin's body heat, the pleasant weight of his hand on his back. He purrs and Erwin whispers. "You know, it might be a good thing you're a cat so much of the time. For me anyways. Otherwise I might be too distracted. I might never get anything done again." Levi mews in protest. "I'm serious. You just change from one beautiful thing into another. You dazzle me." They shut their eyes. Erwin's hand falls to the side, and they sink back into the rich darkness of their sleep.

 


	17. Appearances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets Mike and Nanaba, Reiner and Bertolt. Armin discovers he looks good in a dress. Levi zeroes in on some of Erwin's insecurities.  
> Lots of Eremin this chapter with a little more Eruri smut at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks while I was away! This chapter is a little long; hoping to get back to regular updates soon.

It's late Sunday afternoon when the sound of Erwin hauling groceries into the kitchen rouses Levi. He stretches out on the bed and observes his paws. An ache rings in his chest. Movement is not supposed to feel like this, he thinks. 

Any other day, the cat's body means freedom: slipping past people unnoticed, sneaking into places they can't go, the primal thrill of hunting. Levi slips off the bed, presses his nose to the kitchen door, and realizes, for the time being, this body is more like a trap. 

"Look at you, up and walking around." Erwin kneels down and carefully picks Levi up. "You doing ok?"  Levi just purrs softly into Erwin’s shoulder. Erwin pulls a barstool over to the kitchen island and sets Levi on it. "Here, keep me company while I get dinner ready." 

Levi curls up and rests his head on his paws. On the edge of the counter, he spots a box of valerian tea. He watches Erwin chop vegetables and stick them on skewers, lay out strips of spice-covered fish in a glass dish to marinate before they reach the grill. He's not sure which hurts worse: the ache in his ribs, or the boredom of not being able to help. He can't think of when he's ever wanted to chop vegetables so badly.

This close to Erwin, Levi can just barely detect the extremely fine, subtle current running through him, like constantly adjusting an old radio to pick up some foreign, distant station. It's light, but not invisible. Then, something clicks: he feels the current, and it doesn't let go. Levi lets it gear into him, like a tuning fork, refining the noise around him, lifting him up out of the impossible stupor of the cat's sleep.

Erwin picks him up and sets him on the outdoor couch while he sets the table on the porch. The sunset casts wild patterns over the marsh from the previous day's rain. From the corner of his eye, Levi's pretty sure that's not where the knives go. But he doesn't have the energy to jump up and bat the silverware around until Erwin gets it.

A car door shuts. Mike's voice booms from the driveway. Erwin walks out to open the front door. 

"Erwin! How ya' been? Ready for tomorrow?" Mike wraps Erwin in another mammoth hug. It's the last Sunday before classes start.

"Gettin' there," Erwin says. 

Mike and Nanaba grab a pie and a tray of squash casserole from the car and bring them inside.

"Good to see you two again," Erwin says to Bert and Reiner.

"Yeah," Bert says shyly. "You too. Much better occasion this time."

"Thanks for havin' us," Reiner chimes in.

"Of course. " Erwin shuts the front door.

"How's Levi?" Reiner asks.

"Better, I think." Erwin says. "I was hoping you'd get to ask him yourselves, but he's a cat today. Still pretty sleepy."

"Look'a that," Mike grins at the food waiting for the grill. "Looks great."

"Hoping so," Erwin says. "Petra's recipe. Should be good."

"Mm, the domestic goddess," Nan says with a grin. "She won't let us down."

"I think some of her magic rubbed off on you." Mike kisses the top of Nanaba's head. "'Cause that pie you made is to die for."

Mike towers over Levi sitting on the couch. "Erwin!" Mike shouts into the kitchen. "Didn't I tell you if you feed him, he'll never leave you alone?" He chuckles and sits down next to Levi. "Jesus," he catches a glimpse of the scars on Levi's belly. "I don't wanna' see the other guy." Mike's jovial, joking tone turns suddenly serious. "Somebody got you real good, didn't they." He gives Levi a few light strokes. Levi lets his body melt under the pressure of the Mike's hand. "They better not come back," Mike says gravely. "You outta' be all right with Erwin here." He begins to lighten up again. "You've been takin' real good care of my friend here, I can't let anything happen to you!"

Levi leans his head against Mike's massive thigh and lets him rub his ears. He tries to sense the current in Mike, but it's even fainter and harder to detect than Erwin’s, like a low note played on a distant instrument. The shifter dogs in the kitchen have an almost neon glow to them; the humans feel like some kind of ancient foxfire. Yet there's a certain warmth to each of them. The others sit down with glasses of tea and lemonade; Erwin walks out with the tray of food and lights the grill.

"You look like you're healin' pretty fast," Reiner says. "That's good." He smiles a slightly sinister smile. "We were glad we didn't have to cone you."

Erwin looks confused.

"Those clear plastic cones," Bertolt clarifies. "You can't put them on a shifter."

"I mean, you could," Reiner says. "But it'd be kind of a dick move."

Bertolt looks at Levi. "We figured you knew not to lick your stitches." Levi lets out a ruffled meow. Bert gets up to get himself more tea.

"Hey Bert," Mike says. "Get me a beer from the fridge, will ya'?"

"Sure."

"You want one too?" Mike asks him.

"Uh…yeah," he says hesitantly.

"Get yourself one," Mike says. "Get Reiner one too." Nanaba gives him a look. "What? They're not drivin' anywhere." Nan rolls her eyes. "You want anything, sweetheart?" Mike sees her empty glass.

"How about one of those sparkling waters."

Bert laughs nervously. "I'm gonna' make two trips." How many hands do they think I have, he thinks.

They keep the conversation light. Mike's predictions for the football season. Nan's trip to France she's planning for her students. A few amusing anecdotes from the clinic, like a dog who managed to swallow a dozen socks. Levi sits in Erwin's lap as they eat, still feeling into the subtle current, soaking up the tonic effect. A little crackle moves through him. The two dog men both notice.

"Could you tell Levi was a shifter when I brought him to the clinic?" Erwin asks them. "Uh...kinda," Bert says. "It takes me a while to pick up on it. I'm kinda nose blind about this sort of thing."

Erwin nods, then looks curious. "So, why did you ask me?"

"We had to figure out what you knew," Reiner says. "Every so often we get someone bringin' us an animal that they don't know's a shifter. We try to time it right so the shifters don't have to out themselves. Plus we need to know the cycles if we can."

"Yeah," Bertolt adds, "If you were someone we thought was involved with the auction, we'd have lied about Levi not making and it and sent him somewhere else."

"Have you ever had to do that?" Erwin asks. 

"Couple times," Bert says. "Not often."

"And they don't know who you are?" 

Reiner shrugs slowly. "Far as we know. Most humans can't tell."

Erwin shakes his head and takes a sip of wine. "I still can't believe I've been running with you all this time and I didn't know."

Reiner grins. "I might'a let on eventually. We never expected you to see me at work."

"Y'all thought about trying to go to school at some point?"

Bertolt laughs nervously. "I think we'd ace biology and flunk everything else."

"Oh, come on," Nanaba says teasingly. "Give yourselves a little more credit." She's often told them they know more at seventeen or eighteen than most adults. 

"Yeah, I dunno," Reiner says. "I like bein' a tech. And gettin' other shifters out. Not really sure what else I'd do. Or try to study, anyways."

"Well, y'all just think about it,"  Mike says. 

"I think you're getting recruited," Erwin says wryly. 

Mike reaches for his beer. "Just doin' my job," he says nonchalantly. 

Nanaba and Erwin insist on clearing the table. Erwin notices her wine glass has stayed empty. 

"Pas de vin ce soir, Madame Zach?" he asks as they walk into the kitchen. 

She smiles faintly. "Hopefully not for another nine months."

Erwin’s eyes widen. "Does Mike know?" 

She shakes her head. "I haven't told him yet. I'm sure he's figured it out. But I don't really even want to bring it up until I'm pretty sure this one's going to make it."

"I'm sorry, " Erwin says softly. He gives her a hug. She leans into it. "Can I get you some tea?" 

"Yeah, I'd love some." She smiles. 

"Speaking of which—" A crackling Levi skitters into the bedroom. "I'm gonna make a whole pot." Erwin puts the kettle on to boil. Levi opens the door slowly a few minutes later, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Erwin smiles. "Glad you could join us."

"Yeah,"  he says hesitantly. "Me too." 

"I'm Nanaba," she says, reaching out to shake Levi's hand. She pretends not to notice that his hand is smaller than hers. 

"Levi. Good to meet you."

He's not cold, Erwin thinks, but definitely reserved. Tentative. Levi picks up the box of valerian. "Thanks for getting this," he says quietly. "I assume y'all don't want any."

"It's all yours." Erwin opens the door for Levi carrying the tea tray. 

"There he is!" Mike shouts. "Man of the hour." Levi's suddenly grateful to be carrying something fragile. Mike refrains from his typical monstrous hugs and gives Levi a wrist-cracking handshake instead. "You remember these two from the clinic?" 

"Just barely," Levi says, shaking Bert and Reiner's hands. He's used to feeling short, but meeting all of Erwin’s uncommonly tall friends at once makes him bristle slightly. 

Mike sniffs the air. "Is that valerian?" Levi nods. 

"Uh...could I...have some?" Bert asks shyly. 

"Sure." Levi turns to Reiner. 

"Yeah, I'd love some, actually."

"Don't get up." Erwin pulls more teacups from the kitchen. 

"I've never even tried this," Levi says distantly. "Grisha said it would help."

Reiner grins. "Just wait."

Levi takes a sip. A luminous, euphoric feeling descends his spine. The staticky noise begins to soften. "Oh my god." He leans back in his chair and takes another sip. "This is...oh my god..." His eyes flutter closed. 

Erwin tries not to laugh at the sudden change in Levi's composure. "I gotta try this." He makes a face and nearly spits out the bitter liquid. Mike laughs. 

"It's a shifter thing," Nanaba says. "It tastes bitter to us and makes you drowsy. But for these guys... well, I don't quite know what it does."

"Something great,"  Levi mutters, his eyes half-open. 

"You could have mentioned that," Erwin says dryly, reaching for his water glass. Nanaba chuckles and sips her mug of chamomile serenely. 

"Oh god," Levi tilts his head back, blissful sensations still coursing through his body. "I wish I'd known about this years ago."

"Yeah," Bertolt says, noticeably calmer. "We did too."

"There's still a lot we don't know about you guys, isn't there,"  Mike says in a rare moment of seriousness. "They ever use this on y'all in the labs?" 

Reiner shakes his head. "If they knew about it, they sure never told us."

Levi starts to come back to earth. "So that's where y'all come from."

Reiner nods. "'Bout eight years ago now." He takes a sip of the tea and lets the divine feeling pour through him. "I take it you weren't there." Levi shakes his head. "How'd you make it to Erwin’s?" 

Levi gazes at the table for a moment. "I broke a job contract."

"Was it a real job?"  Bertolt asks. 

Levi nods. "I was free. Had some other sponsors before that. But yeah, I got caught up in the auction for a while. That was about eight years ago too."

Bertolt shudders. "In the labs they always talk about the auction and how it's better in the lab, you're safer or whatever." Reiner snorts, nearly spitting out his tea. 

"That's interesting," Levi says, distant. "In the auction, they always threaten to send you off to the labs." He drinks more of the soothing tea. "But it's all about threats and intimidation."

"No easy breaks for any of y'all, are there," Mike says. 

"Well," Levi lifts his teacup, "here's to getting out."

"And never going back," Reiner adds. The shifters take a long swill of the luminous, earthy brew. 

"So, what's your cover story?" Bertolt asks.

Levi shrugs. "Still gotta come up with a new one. I'm not sure yet."

"You could be a German teacher,"  Nanaba says mischievously. 

Levi laughs dryly. "I can hardly see myself being a teacher."

"Maybe a very strict German teacher," Erwin adds. 

"Tch. Maybe." Levi smiles faintly.

"Nan could vouch for you, though. She knows a bunch of language teachers," Erwin muses. "Plus you've probably read more classics of German literature than most Germans."

Levi stares into his tea. "I'll think about it." He looks back up at Bert and Reiner. "So what are you?"

"Vet techs if people think we're older, foster kids if they think we're younger," Reiner explains. 

"Well, it helps that you technically are both of these things," Nanaba adds. 

Levi sighs. "I need to get some kind of job again."

"We'll work on that. Don't worry about that too much for right now." Erwin wonders if any of the support staff at the school could be shifters sponsored by Pixis. 

"You ever do any fighting?" Reiner asks. Levi looks confused. "Like boxing, or wrestling."

"Oh," Levi says, looking at the table again. "Not in any... refereed capacity, no... not as a sport, anyways."

"Just wondering," Reiner says. "Annie's gym is looking for some new trainers."

"She's another cat, isn't she." Levi pours more water over the sachet of valerian. Reiner nods. 

"Might be worth looking into, just as something to do," Erwin says. "If you're interested."

"Tch. Course I'm interested. I love fighting." Levi says with complete sincerity. "But trust me, it took me long enough to find this place, I'm not bored with it yet."

The blaze of crickets and cicadas fills the marsh as the last of the sunset glows purple. A steady breeze flows through the porch from the water. Levi drinks his tea contentedly while the others chatter, letting his attention drift. There's a pleasant resonance between the two shifter dogs and the three humans that seems to complement the effect of the tea. It's nice, he thinks, to be around other shifters that aren't captives and that aren't Kenny. He sinks deeper into his chair and Erwin wraps an arm around him. 

  
**

"Annie's gonna flip a shit when she sees you," Armin says. He stands with his arms folded behind Mikasa, looking at herself in the full length mirror. "You look great." 

She brushes down the forest green pleated skirt of the school uniform and blushes. "I'm nervous," she says. "Everyone's had a first day of school before except for me." She flops down on the bed. 

"I know," Armin says, sitting down next to her. "But they're excited for you. And you'll do great."

"I hope I get a lot of classes with you and Eren," she sighs. 

"We'll definitely have at least a couple." Armin notices a shopping bag full of clothes by the door. "What's that for?" 

Mikasa sits up. "Oh, I was going to donate some clothes I don't really wear anymore."

Armin pulls a black dress from the top of the pile. He looks around nervously. "So...if you don't...want this anymore...could I have it?" 

Mikasa's initial confusion gives way to a spark of delight. "Of course!...Do you want to try it on?" 

A loud groan erupts from the ground floor of the house. "Eren's losing at pool again," Armin observes. 

"What's new?"

Armin steps behind the closet door and puts on the dress. It fits. If he's going to be as skinny as a girl, he thinks, at least the girl in question is a serious athlete. He steps out cautiously. 

Mikasa beams. "Oh, wow...it really suits you." She steps back. "I...actually really like it on you."

Armin looks in the mirror. He loves it. It doesn't make him feel like a girl, and he doesn't necessarily want to feel like one. But it does make him feel more like himself. 

"Hang on," Mikasa says. "I think the black washes you out a little bit." She reaches in a drawer for her make up kit. "Can I?" 

"Uh...sure." Armin sits on the bed. "Mika, I didn't think you could shift make up."

"Oh, I can't,"  she says, sweeping a wide brush across his cheeks. "But I'm stable enough now, I can just wash it off before I shift." She grabs a smaller brush and dips it in a gold-colored powder. "Close your eyes for a second." When he opens them again, she grins from ear to ear. "Ah, that makes your eyes look really blue!" 

"Whoa." He looks in the mirror again. The color is subtle, but the effect is...glorious, he thinks. He's not sure he's ever liked the look of his own face so much. 

"Do you like it?" Mikasa asks. 

He's quiet for a moment. "Uh...yeah," he says shyly. They look at each other and start laughing. 

Annie cracks open the door. "What are you two up to?" She stands stock still. She shakes her head. Mikasa looks alarmed. Then a smile creeps onto Annie's face. "I can't believe you guys were playing dress up and you didn't even invite me," she says with fake disappointment. 

Mikasa rolls her eyes. "Annie. You wear jeans and a t-shirt. Every single day."

"What? I like to dress up sometimes," she says, pretending to pout.  

You just want to do the dressing and undressing, Mikasa thinks. 

Annie looks Mikasa up and down. "It's no good." Mikasa shoots her an anxious look. "You are going to roast in that blazer, chica!" Annie says with a laugh. Mikasa lets out a little exasperated groan. "You're not gonna need that until, like, November." Annie reaches for Mikasa's waist and slips the blazer off of her. "There," she purrs. "Now you look perfect." 

Then she turns her attention to Armin. She pinches the fabric of the waist of the dress and starts nodding. 

"What?" Armin asks nervously. 

"You gotta show Eren."

"NO."

"Oh my god, why not?" Annie whines. 

"Annie...no. Just...don't."

"Armin, come on," she pleads. "You look adorable. You look like a model! I'm serious."

"Annie, no."

"Armin, amigo," she plants a hand on his bare shoulder. "What is my favorite thing in the world? Besides Mikasa?" 

Armin groans and looks at the ceiling. "Messing with Eren."

Annie grins an evil grin. 

"God, Annie, have some mercy," Mikasa says. "You already murdered him at pool."

Eren appears in the doorframe. "I heard my name." He sees Armin. His eyes widen. Armin's eyes widen. They stare at each other in silence for a moment. The girls grin like fools. Eren blinks his eyes rapidly and scratches the back of his head. "Uh, that's... um... that's...you look...really nice,"  Eren says, dumbfounded. 

"Thanks," Armin says sheepishly, secretly melting with relief. 

A wide grin speeds across Eren's face. He steps closer. "Yeah, I...I really like it. You look great."

"Mika should have loaned you that dress ages ago,"  Annie teases. "It looks way better on you."

"Hey!" Mikasa protests. 

"Black's not your color, " Annie says. "I like the green on you better."

"Mm, fine, if you say so."

Eren keeps staring at Armin, still slightly stunned. "What if you...uh...what if..." he starts to blush and stammer, "what if you tried on...one of Mika's uniforms...?"

"Yes," Annie says emphatically. 

"I don't know..." Armin hesitates. 

"The shirts won't fit you, the shoulders are too narrow," Mikasa says. She reaches into the closet. "But the skirt probably will..." Eren runs to his room to grab one of Armin's shirts. 

"Oh my god, you guys..." Armin sirs on the bed and shuts his eyes, embarrassed. 

"Oh, just try it, " Annie goads. "It can't hurt."

Armin slips back behind the door and changes again. He likes the skirt as much or more than the dress. But he doesn't want to let on how much. Mikasa and Annie sit on the bed, smiling gleefully. Annie rests her head on Mikasa's shoulder.

"You should wear it to school," Eren says, wide-eyed with delight.

"No fucking way."

"At least wear it around the house," he says with a mischievous grin.

"...Maybe," Armin concedes.

"Do you like it?" Annie asks.

"I mean...yeah," Armin says, making as much of an understatement as he can.

"You can borrow it, if you want to," Mikasa says.

"But then what will you wear?"

"I have several."

"I'm giving it back to you."

"Don't take it off yet!" Eren interjects. "It's...it just...it looks really good."

"You can have the other clothes if you want." Mikasa gestures to the bag. "I don't need them. So if you like anything, you can keep it."

"Thanks," Armin says. He changes back into his normal clothes and takes the bag into Eren's room. Mikasa and Annie look at each other, feeling strangely accomplished.

"I never knew you were into that," Eren says, shutting the door behind them. "When were you gonna' tell me?"

"Uh...as soon as I figured out I was into it?" Armin says with a touch of exasperation. "I mean...when do I ever get to try on clothes like this? I live alone with with my grandfather."

"Ok, fair," Eren concedes.

"Is it weird?" 

"What?"

"Me wearing your sister's stuff."

"Is it weird that I like it?" Eren asks. 

"I don't know," Armin says.

"I don't know either."

They sit on the bed for a minute. Eren smiles again. "You should wear the skirt to school. Like a kilt or something."

"God, Eren—no."

"But..." he whines, "I really like it on you."

"Yeah, well, that's great," Armin says, "I'm really glad you do...but...you're not the people I'm worried about."

Eren stares at the bag for a minute. "If anyone ever gave you a hard time about your clothes, I'd knock their fucking teeth out."

Armin squints. "You'd go to the hospital."

Eren smiles. "It'd be worth it."

"Would you do it?" Armin asks. "Would you wear the girls' uniform to school?"

"Maybe," Eren says, grinning. "Especially if you did."

Armin lies down, frustrated. "Eren...it's different for you, ok?"

"What do you mean?" Eren lies down next to him.

"Well for one, people don't look at you and just automatically assume you're gay," Armin says. "They don't call you 'miss' all the time when they see you from behind in public." Armin tries to gather his wits. "I mean, not only do you read as straight, you look normal. You're not some short, skinny kid people think is still in junior high."

Eren looks shocked. "Do you really think you look like that?" Armin nods. Eren grabs Armin around his waist. "I really like how you look," he says to the back of Armin's neck.

"Great, that makes one of us."

"Armin..." Eren groans. "I've always thought you were hot." Eren pulls Armin closer. "Horseface," he says.

"What?"

"That weird guy. What's his name. Jean. Jean thought you were hot, too."

"Eren, shut up about that."

Eren laughs. "What? It's true! He was looking at you the whole time he was here. That asshole." Armin smiles a little bit. "There's Annie," Eren says.

"Annie's gay too."

"She said she'd do you if she was into guys."

"Eren, what the fuck?"

"Oh, yeah," Eren says, laughing. "We were playing truth or dare one day. I think it was while you were at your mom's."

"Oh my god," Armin groans. 

"Who else," Eren muses. "Oh. Reiner."

"He's with Bert."

"Doesn't mean he doesn't think you're hot." Eren stifles a laugh. "Oh, yeah. Bert thinks you're hot, too. Yeah. Last time we were at the beach..."

Armin rolls over and plants his face in the covers. "Ok, ok, fine, I get it."

Eren runs his fingers through Armin's hair for a few minutes. "Would you want to wear skirts and stuff, if you knew nothing bad would happen?"

"Maybe," Armin says into the mattress. "Probably not every day. But sometimes. I don't know."

"I just think you should be able to do what you want." Armin turns to face Eren. "It takes a lot of guts to do that sometimes," Eren says. "You have a lot more guts than most people, you know."

 

***

 

Erwin pulls off his shirt and scans himself in the mirror.  "You always do that," Levi says, leaning against the doorframe. He catches Erwin off guard.

"What?" Erwin asks.

"Look at yourself like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're disappointed. Or like you're looking for a list of things to be disappointed about."

Erwin turns to face Levi, feeling strangely exposed, called-out. "Yeah," he says. "I guess."

"It'd be one thing if you were just admiring," Levi says. "The way everyone else does. But that's not what it seems like."

Erwin sits down on the edge of the bed. "Everyone else, huh?"

Levi tilts his head. "Don’t tell me you don't notice. The way people look at you. Out in public." Erwin shrugs. Levi begins to take off his own clothes. "It's interesting," Levi says. "Most men that look like you are so arrogant, they're insufferable. You can't even stand to be around them for more than a few minutes. You see them from a distance and it's great; you start to talking to them and you wish you never even bothered." Erwin gives Levi a curious look. "They're used to everyone bending over backwards to impress them. Getting their way. Usually," Levi says, "the only way to get the attention of a person like that is to either not give a fuck, or pretend to not give a fuck. Because they're not used to people not caring. And that intrigues them."

"You sound like you speak from experience," Erwin says with an air of concern. Then, he smiles. "Is this your way of telling me 'I'm not like other guys'?"

Levi gives a wry smile. "Exactly," he admits. "I'm trying to figure out how someone who looks like you gets through life without becoming a total asshole."

Erwin laughs. "Hey, I'm doing the best I can, here."

"I know." Levi lies on his stomach and props his face up with his palm. "You're very noble. It's very compelling."

Erwin looks uneasy. Levi looks at him intensely. "Compliments bother you, don't they?"

Erwin sits still for a moment. "They do. Yeah, at times." Then he turns back to look at Levi. "But you don't exactly take them well yourself," he says, smiling, curious.

"I don't," Levi says, looking out the window. "But someone like you has no reason not to believe it when someone says something good about you. So I wonder why you don't. What you have to believe about yourself to cancel out other people's praise." Levi turns onto his back and looks up at Erwin. He's human, but the way he rolls over has a distinctive cat-like feeling to it that Erwin finds charming. "I'm not trying to suggest we have something in common," Levi continues. "I'm not setting up some false parallel here—trying to say you do things for the same reason I do."

"You're very observant," Erwin says, running his finger along Levi's jawline.

"I have to be." Levi stretches his arms long above his head and yawns. "If I misjudge someone's character, that could be the end for me."

Erwin nods. "So, what is it for you?" Erwin asks. "That makes you resist compliments so much?" He strokes Levi's neck and chest. "Just self-loathing?"

Levi shuts his eyes and gives a light shrug. "I've done a lot of loathsome things."

"You've also had a lot of loathsome things done to you," Erwin says with an air of authority. "And you've been in situations most typical people couldn't survive or withstand. I don't know how much of what you've done means about you, as much as it means something about the circumstances of your life."

Levi sighs but doesn't open his eyes. "You make a good point." When he does open them, Erwin sees that they're wet. He looks at Erwin for a few moments. "But there are things you hate yourself for, aren't there." 

Erwin lies down and looks at the ceiling. "Don't we all have these things?" He asks.

"Possibly," Levi muses. "But yours seem to trouble you more than most people's. More than most men's, anyways." This time Levi begins stroking Erwin's hair, feeling him relax from the light pressure. He runs his fingernails down the back of Erwin's neck. He decides to make a guess. "You feel like you owe Marie something, don't you. Like you took something from her."

Erwin exhales quietly, afraid to answer. "Yes," he says eventually. "I'd say that's accurate."

"Even though she agreed to marry you. You feel like you owe her lost time."

Erwin nods slowly, unnerved. Levi considers him for a moment, looks at the sculpted features of his face, the contours of his muscles in the dim light. "Can't have been great for you," Levi says, "being married to someone who wasn't actually attracted to you."

Erwin smiles weakly. "You know," he says, "I think that was even part of the attraction. At first anyways." He reaches up and grabs Levi's hand, laying on his chest. "What you said earlier…about it being compelling when people don't care…" his voice drifts slightly. "Well, it's not that she didn't care. She just cared about different things than everyone else."

"Like what you thought."

"As opposed to how I looked? Yeah," Erwin says. "I mean, don't get me wrong," he says with a sly grin, "I had plenty of fun in college."

"Tch. Naturally."

"But it gets old, you know." Erwin reaches for Levi, pulling him onto his chest. "Marie and I had been friends for so long…we watched each other date the most horrible people," Erwin says with a dry laugh. "In my case, yeah, it was the pleasers. Really desperate people. Or really shallow people. Or, just…a lot of women wanting to get married for the sake of getting married. And then these guys," Erwin laughs, "Mike and I called them 'trophy hunters.' They went after him, too." Erwin shakes his head. "I mean, it's entertaining, if anything. I see how some people coast on it for years. Strokes your ego, for sure."

"And then that kind of collapsed, didn't it," Levi says.

Erwin is quiet for a moment. "We barely touched each other for the last year or so that we were married. I knew something was wrong. I assumed it was me."

"You forgive her, don't you."

"Without question. I don't blame her at all."

"But you blame yourself." Levi's lips graze Erwin's neck.  "Yeah."

Levi looks down at Erwin and lightly touches his face. He shakes his head. "You know you can't forgive yourself for something you never did." Erwin shuts his eyes, chilled. Levi kisses his eyelids. He lays his head on Erwin’s chest. "It sucks, doesn't it," Levi says. "People want you for one reason or another, but you want them to want it all."

Erwin smiles. "That's a good way of putting it." 

Levi begins to lick and kiss Erwin’s neck, sending a pleasant shiver through his body. He tunes into the current emanating from Erwin; he tries to align with the strong verticality of it. Maybe, he thinks, he can stave off the collapse into horizontality that brings on the teeth and claws. He can't understand why the partial shift never happened before Erwin, what it is about him that triggers it. Clearly, he thinks, the only solution is to experiment. He slides down to the end of the bed and begins to lick Erwin’s half-erect cock. 

"Be careful with your teeth," Erwin says with mock condescension. 

"Don't worry." Levi looks up at Erwin. "I'll be good." He plunges Erwin's cock into his mouth, ignoring the burning in his jaw and the little jolts each time Erwin hits the back of his throat. He's determined, holding fast to the little thread of connection keeping him fully human. Interesting, he thinks, letting a generous stream of saliva drip down Erwin's shaft. Most guys try to stay erect; I just try to stay vertical. Erwin grabs a fistful of Levi's hair, his hips rising off the bed. Levi digs his fingernails into Erwin’s thighs, hoping for the same reaction Erwin has to his claws. It works. Erwin tightens his grip, pulling himself deeper into Levi's throat. Levi tries not to cough as he swallows. Levi looks up, his mouth red, his chin shiny and wet. Erwin reaches for Levi's chin and pulls him into a kiss. 

Erwin exhales deeply, his grip tight on Levi's neck. "No claws this time, huh." 

"I told you," Levi says. 

Erwin grabs Levi's hips. "Your turn." Levi lies on his back, still feeling for the thread of verticality. Erwin licks his fingers and slowly penetrates Levi as he takes him into his mouth. It's the combination of Erwin's hands and tongue that makes Levi lose his focus. He arches his back, claws gripping the sheets, tail swishing beneath him. Erwin looks for a moment at the strange, beautiful creature panting beneath him, pale skin glistening with sweat. So far, he thinks, I want it all. 


	18. Plots, schemes, and theories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hange invites Erwin and Levi to dinner after the first day of school. Levi reunites with Ymir after many years.

Erwin glances at the clock. Ten minutes until the alarm rings. It's the first day of school, and for the first time he can remember, he doesn't want to get out of bed.

All the blankets have gotten pushed over to Levi's side, and he sleeps under them in a mound. Erwin runs his fingers through Levi's hair. Levi slowly peels open one eye. He scooches over to Erwin with a little grunt, drapes himself across his chest, and immediately falls back asleep, his body warm from the pile of covers. Erwin strokes the soft fuzz of Levi’s undercut, feeling his chest rise and fall slowly under his other hand. Even the bickery shorebirds outside are calm, as if in honor of the moment of total serenity.

He smells Levi's hair and lets the weight of his body sink into him. It occurs to Erwin that life has taken a turn for the deeply strange and potentially dangerous. But he wouldn't change it. It means too much, he thinks, to be the source of someone else's peace. To be important again. Needed. Maybe he's getting attached too quickly, he thinks. But then, he likes being attached.

Erwin shuts off the alarm as soon as it sounds and kisses the top of Levi's head. He moves to get up, but Levi tightens his grip around Erwin’s waist.

"Levi—" Erwin whispers in protest.

Levi shakes his head.

"I can't be late today."

The cat just lies on top of him and groans. Erwin sighs and rolls Levi onto his back, pinned underneath him. Levi slowly opens his eyes and gives Erwin a look that is one part bitterness, one part seduction.

"I know," Erwin says. "I don't want to go either."

"That's a lie." Levi shuts his eyes again and sighs. "You love school."

"You're impossible." Erwin kisses Levi's neck and gets up.

"Yeah. But you love it." Levi grasps after him, but only catches empty air.

He sits wrapped in Erwin’s sweatshirt, sipping tea in bed while Erwin gets dressed. Erwin feels Levi's eyes following him around the room and realizes he's missed being watched, being wanted. His thoughts drift to the evening, getting home. He selfishly hopes Levi will be human when he gets back.

He slips a set of folders into his briefcase and shuts his laptop, leaving it for Levi, though he doesn't seem to have touched it. Levi hovers nearby as he prepares to leave.

"I wish _I_ were in your class, Mr. Smith..." he mutters, playing with Erwin’s tie, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

"You would most definitely _not_ be allowed in my class."

Levi looks up at him slowly, pretending to be stunned.

"Far too distracting." Erwin runs his finger up Levi's neck and chin and kisses him. "I wouldn't get any teaching done." Levi gives him a satisfied smile. "Are you going to be ok?" Erwin grabs his jacket from the back of his chair. "You have everything...?"

"Everything but you."

Erwin rolls his eyes. "I just don't want you to get bored...or hungry, I guess."

Levi snorts a little laugh. "I think I can handle it." He wraps himself around Erwin again. "Trust me, I'd rather be bored and safe than on the run all day." Erwin looks at Levi with concern and gives him another kiss.

Levi watches the car disappear from the driveway and lets himself fall onto the mattress, his spine beginning to crackle and burn.

**

  
The bell rings and the hall swells with the sound of voices and slamming lockers. Eren waits until Armin and Mikasa are out of earshot to approach Erwin.

"Hey, Mr. Smith?"

"Yes, Eren?"

"Is it still in dress code if guys wear the uniform skirt to school?"

"Excuse me?" Erwin’s not offended, just surprised.

"Can guys wear the skirt to school? The handbook just says you have to be in uniform, but it doesn't say which one."

Erwin looks confused. "I don't see why not. That's probably a question for Principal Pixis, though. What makes you ask?"

"Asking for a friend," he says with his typical shit-eating grin. "Anyways, see you later!" He runs to catch up with Armin and Mikasa.

When the three of them show up later in Erwin's AP European History class, Eren still has a smirk on his face.

**

"Hey there, coach," Hange greets Erwin with a hug as she walks into the teachers' lounge. "You coming to dinner tonight?"

Erwin steps back. "I completely forgot." He shakes his head and pulls a coffee mug from the shelf. "Distracted by the new roommate, I guess."

"Oh, he's invited too, if you want to bring him! Well, if it's safe." Hange pours herself a cup of coffee.

Erwin nods. "I'll ask him. I have a feeling he'll probably want to get out."

"How's he doing?"

Erwin looks around. The lounge is empty but for the two of them. "All right. I think as a cat he's still pretty weak. As a human..." Erwin's voice trails off. Hange smiles, curious. Erwin looks embarrassed. "Well, I've taken quite a shine to him, I suppose." He takes another sip of coffee. "It's been...good to have the company."

Hange beams. "I'm happy things are working out. You're going to sponsor him?"

"It's looking that way. We still gotta come up with a story for him, though. And something for him to do."

"Hm...what's he good at?" Hange sits on the couch by the door.

Erwin stifles a laugh, thinking of their earlier conversation. "German philosophy," he says after a moment.

Hange gives him a bemused look. "Well...I'm sure we'll think of something."

"How's your new tenant?" Erwin sits across from her.

Hange's eyes widen with delight. "Oh, he's a weird one, for sure. But oh my god, you've got to see his paintings. Such a talent. Just beautiful. Petra's got him in her gallery now. It's awesome," she says gleefully.

Erwin glances around again. "What is he, by the way?"

"You know," Hange laughs, "I never asked! I assumed a dog, but I've never seen him shift. He never mentioned it. All I know is he's supposed to be completely stable, doesn't have to change for weeks."

"How does that even _happen_?" Erwin asks the ceiling more so than Hange.

Hange shakes her head. "I wish we had real research on this, not those apes playing god at the CDC," she groans. "You remember Ilse, the young woman who lived with us a few years ago?"

"Not well, but I know we met."

"Well," Hange says, starting to look excited, "She's been keeping journals and sending them to me ever since. There are a few other shifters on the island where she works, so she gives me notes from them, too. So I have some theories going." He eyes sparkle. "For one, living with humans definitely helps. And the _same_ group of humans, over a _long_ period of time." She sips her coffee. "Another thing is being around other shifters. There's something called the 'pack effect,' where if a group of them lives together, they all become more stable."

"Huh. Interesting. I guess Levi's been in pretty volatile situations for a while. He says injury and loss will totally destabilize you."

"Ohhhh, yeah." Hange nods. "That'll fuck it all up. Pardon my French." She looks contemplative. "But it does seem like there's a threshold where once you pass it, you no longer get destabilized. Like something just kinda'... _clicks_. But we don't really know _what_."

Erwin sighs. "I just wish I knew what to do to help Levi. It seems like hell, not being able to control it."

"Have you given him valerian?" Hange asks. Erwin nods. "Works wonders. Again, no idea why. You'd think Moblit and I would have some idea, but my resident chemist's as clueless as I am. Just puts the two of us to sleep. Have you tried it?"

"I probably won't try it again."

"There's something else that's supposed to help, too," Hange says. "Letting the change happen on its own without delaying it. Some of them can postpone it, but supposedly it hurts like all get out, and makes you sick. I guess Jean got the winning combination growing up. Lucky guy, from what I can tell."

"Yeah," Erwin says, resigned. "That's fortunate."

Mike walks in and bursts out laughing. Erwin realizes the two of them picked out the same back-to-school tie.

"Great minds, my friend. Great minds." He walks over to the coffee machine. "Y'all want any more?"

"Mmm, please," Hange says.

**

"Thank you," Hannah says into the little styrofoam cup.

"Thank Marco," Ymir says flatly. "Nobody's making him share." She takes a sip of the bitter tea. She can't lie: the effect is a grace. She stares at the wall. Visions of the forest pass through her mind. Snow. Pines. The tribe. She can't wait to ditch this place. There's only one thing keeping her interested in society. She detects the faint human current of a little blonde woman pacing directly above.

A flicker of static crackles and a figure appears behind the partition. Marco puts on his clothes and ties on his bartender's apron. "Compliments of Jean," he says. He grabs a cup and opens the spigot on the electric urn set up in the corner of the little basement room. Hidden behind the bar upstairs, in a little wooden cask for a whiskey bottle, lies the rest of the valerian root and the rest of the handgun blanks.

"How'd it go last night?" Marco sits next to Hannah on the floor.

"One down, two to go," Ymir says, referencing the guns. "I gotta come up with something. Get to Reeves and Wald."

"I'll think of something tonight," Marco says. He takes a sip of tea and looks serene.

"What are you talking about?" Hannah asks nervously.

"Exit strategy," Ymir says plainly. "Two nights from now. Either Reiss and his little cronies are going to be dead, or I am."

A twinge of nervousness arises in Marco.

Flegel opens the door. "The hell? We're having tea parties now?"

"You're just upset because you weren't invited." Ymir's voice drips with disdain.

The words sting and Ymir knows it. Flegel tries not to flinch. He takes a cup and pours himself some tea. "Ew," he says, taking a sip. He smacks his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

"It's a calming agent for the shifters," Ymir says.

"Then why are _you_ drinking it?" Flegel asks.

"So I can deal with whiny assholes like you."

Flegel scowls. He hates this woman. This wolf. Whatever she is. Sometimes he gets the feeling she could bite his throat and his dad wouldn't even _blink_. "Lunch shift is starting. Get up there."

Ymir pours herself another cup of tea and walks up the steps with Marco and Hannah.

**

  
Levi stretches out on the bed, his spine electric, his human body unfolding. Shit, he thinks; how long was I a cat? He rolls over and looks at the clock. Still Monday. Barely past noon. He sighs. The short cycle unnerves him. But at least it's much less painful. In Erwin's house, the shift almost feels natural.

The phone rings. Levi sits bolt upright. He walks tentatively to the kitchen. The caller ID reads Erwin Smith.

"Hello?"

"Levi? It's me. Are you ok?" Erwin smiles, standing in his locked office.

"I'm fine. I just woke up. I was..." he remembers Grisha's exhortation to be careful over the phone. "I wasn't really...feeling like myself this morning. But, uh, I'm fine now."

"That's good," Erwin says. "I wasn't sure if you'd be able to get to the phone."

"Um, is everything ok? I wasn't really expecting...you to call me..."

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I, uh, wanted to ask you," Erwin feels strangely delighted to hear Levi's voice over the phone, "you remember my friend Hange? Zoe?"

"The mad scientist?"

"Well, don't call her that to her face," Erwin laughs, though she would probably agree. "She's invited us to dinner tonight, after practice is over. Something she likes to do every year on the first day of school, before there's anything to grade."

"Oh."

"No obligation to go. But if you're feeling up to it—"

"No, I mean...yeah. I'd like to. Sure."

Erwin smiles. "Ok, well, it'd be the two of us, Hange and Moblit, who I think you met—"

"The other mad scientist?" Levi asks. Moblit teaches chemistry at a local college.

"Once again," Erwin says, "your words, not mine. But yeah. And then our friends Rico and Mitch—"

"The shrinks."

Erwin chuckles. "Yeah. Them."

"Sounds all right to me. Where we going?"

"You know the Blue Magnolia?"

"Never heard of it."

**

 

"God, I hope this works." Levi sinks back into his seat as Erwin parks the car.

"You sure you're all right?" Erwin reaches over and strokes his hair. "If we need to go home, they'll understand."

"I'm fine," Levi sighs.

Erwin reaches over and gently tilts Levi's face toward him. He embraces Levi awkwardly across the center console, and kisses him, triggering a wave of palpable relief.

"This place looks like your house," Levi says as they walk inside.

Erwin laughs. "Same decorators. Petra and Oulo did this place a couple years ago."

A familiar face appears at the hostess stand.

"Mr. Smith?" Krista asks excitedly.

"Krista, how are you?" Erwin gives the tiny blonde woman a hug.

"Good!" she says. It's not completely true. "Just started applying to law school." Erwin gives her a knowing nod, remembering her aspiration. Krista wonders where Marie is, but knows better than to ask. She pretends not to notice Erwin's ringless left hand. "How've you been?"

"Not too bad." It's also not true. "Levi, this is Krista; she used to be one of my students. Krista, this is my partner, Levi." She shakes his hand. Both of them smile through the confusion. Levi plans to investigate Erwin's choice of words.

"You're meeting Ms. Hange?"

Erwin smiles at hearing Hange called anything other than her last name alone, which she's gone by for years. Krista leads them through the loud, busy dining room to a booth where the others are waiting.

"You must be _Levi_!" Hange stands up, glowing with excited curiosity, and hugs him immediately. "It's so good to finally meet you!"

Levi recoils slightly. "Yeah," he says. "You too." The others are much more reserved, with civil handshakes. They're so glad he could make it; they've heard such nice things. Mitavi insists that Levi calls him Mitch.

"Erwin," Hange says scoldingly, "You didn't tell me he was so handsome!"

Erwin feels a surge of embarrassment at his friend's behavior. "Hange, he's sitting _right here_."

"Yes," she says, oblivious, delighted. "I'm so glad you brought him."

An exhausted Mina approaches the table, trying to rally her energy. She freezes when she sees Levi. They hold eye contact for a moment. The crossed currents are unmistakable.

"Can I get y'all anything to drink?" She tries to snap out of it. Rico orders a bottle of wine for the table. Levi sits still, perplexed.

"Is something wrong?" Erwin asks.

Levi squints. "That waitress. She's another shifter. Really, really noisy, though." The others exchange curious glances. "Wait a second," Levi says. He shuts his eyes and lets his awareness sweep the space around him. His eyes snap open. "Something is very wrong here." He tunes in again. "Holy shit. This place is full of shifters." He goes quiet for a second. "I haven't been in a space with this many of us since the auction...Jesus." He shakes his head. "They're noisy as hell."

"That's not good, is it," Rico asks gravely.

Levi looks nervous. "No. Something's wrong with them. There's...fuck," he looks around. "Two on the floor here. One at the bar. At least two more somewhere farther away, maybe the basement, if there is one. Then..." He senses a strange, unmistakable current behind him, bright and clear like a diamond. A hand clasps his shoulder.

"Levi," Ymir grins wickedly. "It's been _ages_." She turns to the others. "Can I steal him for a minute?"

**

 

Marco pours Levi a generous, free martini.

"Who's the blonde?" Ymir asks, looking at Erwin.

"New sponsor...hopefully."

Ymir rolls her eyes. "Oh, _come on_. Sponsor, my ass. He's _all over you_. You practically reek of him." Levi looks confused. "Please. The resonance is so strong between you it just about blinded me when the two of you walked in. You know what I'm talking about." Levi shakes his head. Ymir leans in closer. "You can hear him more easily than other humans, can't you. The current, I mean." Levi nods. "There's a reason for that." She grabs his shoulder. "It's a good thing, trust me. And it's super fucking rare."

"I've never even heard of it."

"I just told you it's super fucking rare."

Levi grins. "You haven't changed a bit, have you."

Ymir tunes in to Levi again. "Things have been a real shit show for you up until recently, haven't they?" Levi just looks at her, unnerved at her capacity for knowing. "You're all static. Except for that resonance. That's the one good thing you got going for you. You gotta' work on that." Levi looks irritatedly at the bar. "Hey," Ymir says. "You wanna' get stable? _Use that resonance_. I'm not kidding you. It's a big deal." Marco sets a valerian cocktail in front of her. She takes a sip and lets a wave of relaxation wash over her.

"I'll take your word for it," Levi says, still confused.

"By the way...I never did get to congratulate you on the fire," Ymir drawls, remembering Lovoff's demise. Levi chuckles dryly. "I knew it had to be you. Brilliant work."

Levi grins. "So, what happened to you? You get out?"

Ymir shakes her head. "Working on it."

"Shit." Levi takes a sip of the stiff drink. "I thought they shipped you off to Atlanta. I figured if you were back here, it was because you got out."

"Zackley got a better offer. Sent me back."

"From whom?" Levi gives her a skeptical look.

"Rod Reiss." She says with venom. "He just bought this place. Back of house is all from the auction."

"Fuck." Levi glances around the dining room. He gives Erwin a little reassuring wave from across the room. "So what's your plan?"

Ymir smiles an evil smile. "We found our unicorn."

Levi's eyes widen. "No fucking way."

Ymir nods slowly.

"What is he?" Levi asks.

Marco smiles. "He's a Paint, about 16 hands, I think."

"Wait...he _actually_ is a horse?" Levi steadies himself with his fingertips on the bar.

Ymir keeps nodding. Levi lets out an enormous, cruel laugh. A few neighboring heads turn. He slaps his palm against the bar and throws his head back. "What did you do about the gun problem?" he asks, calming down.

"It's in the works. Bait-and-switch. Our pony boy got me blanks."

Levi squints. "Those can still kill you, you know. At close enough range."

Ymir considers his words. "Then...we'll have to stay out of range."

"You got a location picked out?"

"I have a few in mind. Ol' horsefeathers is supposed to be taking freckles here home," she nods in Marco's direction. "So, we got a few places home could be."

Levi contemplates the illuminated bottles in front of them. "You want to really stir some shit up?"

"Always."

"Send 'em to Uri's property."

"Uri? Rod's cousin?"

"Can't fucking stand each other. He's not an auction guy. He owns some row houses near the river, not too far from here."

Ymir looks skeptical. "It's gotta' be somewhere unicorn boy could reasonably live. He's supposed to be some kind of artist."

"It wouldn't be out of the question," Levi says. He tries to imagine how the scene will play out. "There's a walking trail off the road by the water. It's lit, but there are no cameras. Might be a nice place for a late night stroll," he looks at Marco. "Or, you know...retribution. Somewhere the neighbors won't hear you."

"How do you know all this?" Ymir takes a sip of her cocktail.

"I worked for Uri. I don't think Rod knows he owns those houses."

"Hey now," Ymir says, grinning, "We can only kill so many birds with so many stones, here. If you've got shit with Uri, you gotta' work that out on your own."

Levi shrugs. "Just an idea. Throw 'em off your trail, anyway." He catches Erwin's eye from across the room. "I better get back to it. Call me when you get out."

Ymir smiles. She points to Erwin, looks at Levi, and nods solemnly.

**

 

Erwin has his doubts about anyone Levi knows from "ages" ago. When Levi sits back down, Erwin instinctively wraps his arm around his waist. "Sorry about that," Levi offers.

"I got you the tuna tartare," Erwin says. Levi looks genuinely touched. "Who was that, by the way?"

Levi looks around and speaks in a low voice. "She's called Ymir. We go way back," he explains. He turns to the others. "There was a few years there...I got caught up in the auction." Hange cringes. Rico looks concerned. "I'm assuming you all know what that is." Moblit gives a disconcerted nod. Levi glances back at the bar. "Ymir's always been real in demand." He tells them about her unique talent for sensing other shifters. Her stints in the lab. Breaking out, getting re-captured.

"So why is she here?" Hange asks.

Levi takes another sip of his drink. "All the other shifters here are from the auction," he says. "The guy that owns this place...he's real into it," his disgust is palpable. "She's...like a kind of scout; they make her find other shifters."

"People like you?" Moblit asks tentatively.

"If she didn't know me, I'm sure she'd start tracking me."

"That's horrible," Hange says.

"Yeah," Levi says plainly. "It's cruel as fuck. I mean, it's cruel of them to make her do it, and cruel of her to do it." Mina sets plates on the table, a fan of red tuna glistening in front of Levi. "But..." he looks around again, "all that's about to come to an end soon."

"What do you mean?" Erwin asks.

"Well," Levi says with a smirk, "The whole auction depends on guns, basically. I mean, if you think about it, a large dog could take out an unarmed person; it's not unthinkable that a shifter could escape like that. But you add guns to the mix, and all bets are off." The others poke at their food and hang on Levi's words. "So, I used to run into Ymir from time to time. And we used to joke that you needed two things to break out of the auction. One is, obviously, some way to disarm the humans. And the next is to be a large animal. But we'd never seen anything bigger than a large dog, and presumably, a couple strong adults could probably handle that." He glances back at the bar. "So we used to say you'd need a unicorn." He laughs dryly. "And they found their unicorn. They found a shifter who's a _horse_."

"That's amazing," Hange says. "I didn't know such a thing even _existed_."

Levi pierces a slice of tuna with his fork. "I'd never heard of it until tonight."

"What's going to happen?" Rico asks, reaching for her wine.

"My best guess," Levi says, "is that the buyers don't know what this guy is. A bite from a dog will hurt you, for sure. But a kick from a horse..." he starts to heave with laughter. Then, laughter overcomes him. Erwin rubs his back and tries to calm him down.

Hange tries to change the subject. "I just find all of this _so_ fascinating," she says. "I _so_ wish we had real research on this. I was just telling Erwin. It's a crime against science." Levi nods, slowly coming back to earth. "You know," she says, "I teach my students models. I teach them theories. And they're _good_ models, and they're _good_ theories, because you can use them to predict things." She sighs. "But only about humans." She gestures to Levi. "Nothing in my models explains this. Nothing in my theories predicts...you! I have no explanation for it." She refills her wine glass. "And it's just...such a pain, to be on this frontier, you know? To be right on the edge of all this...life-changing knowledge, and not even be able to study it."

Perhaps, Levi thinks, she's not quite so mad as she appears.

"There's a few theories," Moblit offers. "In physics. That matter's not just energy, but information. So, on some level, you could say a shift isn't just a change in matter, but a change of information. But then, you get into this whole discussion of other dimensions, and you know," he says, sipping his wine, "the chemistry I do only works in three."

Levi looks thoughtful. "The woman I grew up with...the woman who sponsored me and my mother...she had all these wild, crackpot theories. Stuff about past lives, karma, all that kind of thing. She thought my mother and I had some kind of...I don't know, some problem we had to solve that was taking multiple lives." He makes a circular gesture with his hand. "And that we had...stuff from multiple timelines, which was why we each had two bodies." He shrugs. "I never really understood it. But even still, it doesn't explain the mechanics of it."

The conversation turns to science, philosophy, metaphysics.

Ymir makes her way up to the mezzanine with a tray of the strongest drinks Marco can pour.

**

When they talk, they lay everything out on the table: wallets, knives, guns. They might as well just get their dicks out, Ymir thinks. She sets down the tray of drinks. A hand pinches her butt. She doesn't bother trying to figure out whose.

Glass shatters and the restaurant goes quiet for a moment. Reiss and his compatriots run to the edge of the mezzanine to observe. Ymir grabs Reeves's gun and works as quickly as she can. Two down, one to go.

"Oh my god...I'm so sorry..." Marco looks horrified, pushing himself up off the sticky floor, the tray of spilled drinks in glittering shards all over the place. He reaches to help Krista up, trying carefully to avoid the broken glass. "I'm so, so sorry...I didn't even see you," he lies. The murmur of the diners begins to build back to its normal volume.

"I'll help you clean it up," Krista offers.

"No, no, no," Marco insists, "this is my fault, and I know you're busy."

The three men on the mezzanine return to their table. "What are you doing?" Rod asks Ymir. She sits still with her eyes closed. She holds up one finger.

"Wait," she says. Rod looks confused. "You have another shifter downstairs." Rod cocks an eyebrow. Ymir opens her eyes slowly. She smiles an evil smile. "It's one you've met before. Take a look."

The men walk back to edge of the balcony. Idiots, she thinks, slowly reaching for Wald's gun. "Do you see him?" They don't turn around. Good. "I'll give you a hint. Corner booth." She replaces the gun, and slides the real bullets into the thin, stringy purse hanging from her shoulder.

"Son of a bitch," Rod says.

"You found him?"

Rod walks back to the table. "I thought that one died with Lovoff."

Ymir looks at him sternly. "Who do you think started that fire?"

Rod shakes his head. "Son of a bitch," he mutters.

"You still want him? The little fighter?" Ymir asks cruelly. She remembers waiting in the back of the crowded room, watching Rod get outbid for the two cats.

"Of course."

Wald and Reeves look at each other.

"Then that's your next target," she says. "Once you get the fox. We'll get you the little cat to go with him."

Rod scowls. "Who's that guy he's with?"

"Blondie?" Ymir walks over to the balcony and looks at Erwin. "Poor schmuck thinks he's on a date. No one at that table knows what he is," Ymir lies through her teeth. The three men look at each other with satisfied smiles.

"You sure do love this, don't you," Reeves asks, reaching for a glass.

"I'm a wolf," she sneers. "Hunting is what I do."


	19. The black cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi feels his life is cursed. Armin and Eren have crushes.

Levi holds Erwin's hand as they walk through the square. It's still early when they leave the restaurant; the night air is humid and cool. Erwin suggests a walk, staying close to the car, in case the next cycle begins.

"So that's the story you want to go with?...I'm your partner?" Levi's dry tone fights to cover up his longing.

"I had to tell her something," Erwin says.

"And that was what you thought of?" The rippling water from the huge stone fountain fills the silence.

"Well...yeah. It was the first thing that came to mind." Erwin turns to Levi and smiles. "I think it's pretty good, as stories go. What do you think?"

Levi doesn't know what to say. They walk under a canopy of massive live oaks, strings of Spanish moss hanging ghost-like from their twisted branches. The streetlights fill the space with a golden glow, and Levi decides to take Ymir's advice. He grips Erwin's hand a little tighter. It's much easier to feel the resonance with Erwin when they're touching. "It sounds good to me," he says softly, hollow. They walk a few more paces, Levi tuning carefully into Erwin. "Do you want it to be true?" He looks up at Erwin, his eyes a pale sea green in the yellow light.

Erwin sits on a bench facing the fountain and gently pulls Levi's hand. Levi sits next to him. "Well, I think it's still pretty early," Erwin says. "But...yeah. I'd like to see where things go." He reaches for the back of Levi's neck. "I'm certainly happy with how they're going so far." Erwin's voice cracks slightly, giving away how much he's holding back. He pulls Levi closer and kisses him, ignoring the other people wandering through the park. "Besides," Erwin says after a moment, "I'm a bad liar. If I'm going to make something up, it has to be mostly true."

Levi sits in the crook of Erwin's arm, the heat from his body pleasant against the cool air. He listens to the fountain, the evening birds. A few people walking dogs stroll past, but none with any verticality. "You don't have to let me stay with you, you know."

Erwin looks concerned. "Levi...I know that." He brushes Levi's cheek with his hand. "Why are you telling me this now?" Levi just sits still, suddenly embarrassed. "Do you think I don't want you to stay with me?"

Levi shuts his eyes and leans into Erwin. "No," he says quietly after a moment. "I don't think that." He sighs, his body tense. "It's just what I'm afraid of."

"I see." Erwin wraps his arms around Levi. "I don't know what's going to happen," Erwin says into the top of Levi's head. "But I want to help you, ok? Even if that means that at some point in the future, you don't stay with me anymore." Levi nods, sinking deeper into the embrace. "But I want you to stay with me. As long as you want to. Ok? I want to see where things go." Levi is quiet, basking in the invisible light. "So. What else is there?" Erwin asks, kissing Levi's temple. "That you're afraid of."

Levi shivers a little. He shakes his head and presses his ear to Erwin's chest. "I have a fucked up life, Erwin. I know a lot of fucked up people. I don't want to drag you down with me." Erwin runs his fingers through Levi's hair. "I'm afraid I'm not the person you want."

Erwin smiles and holds Levi for a moment. "Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a person. Maybe I want a cat."

"Tch."

**

They pass a wrought iron gate on their way back to the car. Levi stops. "Can we go in here for a minute?" The gate swings open and Levi leads Erwin into a dark cemetery. The streetlights by the gate cast long shadows through the sandy grass. Levi finds an enormous oak in the center of the dark courtyard. "This is where Josephine found mom," he says. "They buried Farlan not too far from here." Erwin reaches for Levi's hand again. "I used to come here all the time. But it's been a while; I figured Kenny would know to look for me here."

"You know," Erwin says, "if there are places like that...where you want to go…I'll go with you."

Levi smiles faintly. "This is the most important one, really." He approaches a concrete angel and sighs. In the dim light, he can just barely make out the names and dates engraved in the marble slab of the Church family plot. Erwin wraps his arm around Levi's shoulder. "I always wanted to do something for mom," Levi says in a half-whisper. "A plaque, or something. Maybe close to Josephine. I'd been saving up for it. Farlan was going to help me."

Erwin feels privileged in these moments when Levi opens up like this. Levi feels relief to have a trustworthy audience, followed by fear at just how much, pent-up, might suddenly come out.

"We can look into it. If you want to." Erwin kisses Levi's head again.

Levi's voice is strained. "I'd appreciate it," he says weakly, leaning into Erwin. "We never found her. I always wanted to go back and try to find her, but we couldn't. Kenny and I had to run. We never knew what happened to her body."

"I'm sorry," Erwin says softly.

Levi shakes his head. His eyes burn; his throat tightens. "I don't know why it gets to me now." He fidgets. "It's not like I didn't have...weeks...on my own...literally every other time to think about it..." He rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand.

Erwin flashes back to his father's funeral. "I think sometimes having other people around makes it worse. It makes it real. On your own...you can kind of pretend. Talk to them."

Levi rests his face in his hand. "And it's not like I'm the only person who's ever lost anyone. I mean," he throws his hands up, "look at this huge, fucking graveyard!" He laughs bitterly, a tear crawling down his face. "And I've still never even _asked_ you...about the people in the pictures...about your dad..." He starts to contract again.

"Levi...none of that makes it any easier," Erwin says solemnly. "It just means some people are more likely to know what you mean." He reaches for Levi, resting one hand on the back of his neck and one on the small of his back. "Besides. I get the feeling you don't talk about it much."

"Never." Levi grips the back of Erwin's jacket, his body tense. "I never got to do anything for them. I couldn't go to the services for Josephine. Or Farlan, or Izzy. We couldn't do _anything_ for mom. God," he says bitterly, "I never realized how bad I wanted to go to a fucking funeral." They stand still for a moment; Levi cries silently, the tears soaking into Erwin's shirt. Erwin notices something, the air around Levi suddenly rarefied. He feels the current running through Levi, this time strangely pleasant; a whisper of white noise. But the crackle of the shift doesn't happen.

"I feel like all I do is say goodbye," Levi finally says.

Erwin draws back and looks at him. "Are you worried something's going to happen to me?"

"Absolutely."

Erwin smiles and rests his hands on Levi's shoulders. "You think you're bad luck or something? Being a black cat?"

Levi shudders and looks at the ground. "Yeah, actually," he says with a painful laugh. "I do."

"I think we're going to have to agree to disagree." Erwin pulls Levi close again. "Meeting you has been one of the best things to ever happen to me."

"Shut up," Levi says into Erwin's stomach.

"Like I said." He rubs Levi's back. "Agree to disagree." He wants to remind Levi that he was probably the best thing to happen to Josephine, to his mother, and to Farlan, and that none of their deaths were his fault. But now is not the time, he thinks. "Let's go home," he says softly. He grabs Levi's hand.

Levi listens in to the light emanating from Erwin, letting it warm him. I am home, he thinks.

**

The little cat is still too weak to hunt. But he's not too weak, he realizes, to terrorize the shorebirds, hide in the dunes, or wander the beach, approaching the occasional local. It's a warm, sleepy morning. He sits on the dock next to an old man fishing with his five-year-old granddaughter, who gives him some leftover bait; he lays down next to a woman in a broad sunhat reading a novel near the edge of the surf, letting her hand occasionally reach down to scratch his ears. He likes the people on this side of town, he thinks. You can tell a lot about people from the way they treat animals.

Erwin steps into his office between classes and notices the blinking light on his phone. A voicemail from Carla.

"Hi Erwin," the recorded voice says. "I have a little project I could use some help with if you and Levi are interested. I got asked to do flowers for a wedding this weekend last minute since another florist had to cancel. Some kind of family emergency. Anyways, usually I get Mika and the boys to help me, but I didn't want to ask them since they're back in class again. I could use an extra set of hands for a few hours this week if Levi's up for it. It wouldn't be difficult; I'd show him how to do it. And I'd pay him, of course. Let me know what y'all think. I'll talk to you in a little while."

**

"Of course I'm interested." Levi looks up from one of Erwin's books, his bare feet propped up on the edge of the couch. "I gotta pay you back for the clothes somehow."

"Levi, don't worry about that." Erwin unloads the contents of his briefcase onto his still-spotless desk and dumps his running clothes in the laundry.

Levi knows Erwin doesn't care about the money. But Erwin's also had a steady, paying job for the last ten years, and, to Levi's knowledge, rarely has to ask anyone for anything. "All right, fine. If you insist. But yeah, I'm happy to do it." He briefly reviews the range of things he's done for money over the course of his life. Making flower arrangements ought to be a piece of cake. And a grace.

Erwin motions for Levi to slide over. He sits up. Erwin sits on the couch, and Levi lies back down, his head in Erwin's lap. "Great." Erwin smiles. "I'll let her know." He reaches for his phone and hashes out a quick text. He reaches for the remote control and switches on the television. His phone buzzes again a few moments later. "Hm. Carla invited us for dessert. You want to go over there later, after dinner? She can show you the stuff for this week?"

"Sure." Levi grins and looks up at Erwin from his lap. Erwin leans down to kiss him. Levi lays the book flat on his chest and lets himself drift off, mildly intoxicated from the resonance.

**

A blonde boy in a forest green sweatshirt opens the door. A white cat with odd-colored eyes drapes herself across his shoulders like a little fur stole.

"Hey, Mr. Smith. Come on in." Armin smiles at Erwin. But when he sees Levi behind him, his face falls, confused. Annie hops off his shoulders and rubs herself against Erwin and Levi's legs.

"Levi, this is Armin; he and Mikasa's brother Eren are some of my students."

So it is him, Levi thinks. He must not remember. Armin shakes his hand tentatively, still looking perplexed. "Good to see you again," Levi says with a faint smile.

Armin's eyes widen. "Oh my god." A smile creeps across his face. He laughs nervously. "I never knew what your name was." They consider each other for a moment. "I always wondered what happened to you."

"Yeah," Levi says with a pained, nostalgic smile. "I wondered about you, too." Erwin looks confused. Annie paws at his shin and he picks her up.

Armin laughs and looks at the floor, then back at Levi. "So...are you still the king of the forest?" he asks sheepishly.

Levi grins and shrugs. "I'm more of a...duke of suburbia now." He gives Erwin a knowing look.

They walk down the hall, toward the kitchen. "It took me a long time to realize what you were," Armin says. "If the Jaegers hadn't adopted Mikasa, I don't think I ever would have known." A black cat appears in the doorframe. "Speak of the devil." Mikasa jumps into Armin's arms; Levi recognizes her immediately and gives her a scratch under the chin.

"Thanks for the advice the other night," he says. Mikasa just purrs. He turns to Armin again. "I guess we both ended up in better places, didn't we."

"Yeah." Armin smiles shyly. "Man...I wish I'd known what you were back then." He sighs. "It's not like anyone would have believed me about you, anyways." Mikasa rests her head on his shoulder. "I'm really glad you're ok." He stops by the kitchen door. Erwin walks inside with Annie.

"Likewise," Levi says quietly. "Did your dad go back to Denmark like he said?" Levi remembers sitting on windowsills, listening in to the screaming fights.

Armin nods. "Yeah. I see him in the summer, sometimes. I make Eren go with me." He looks at the floor again. "My mom's still here. I don't really see her much, though." Mikasa rubs her nose against his neck. "What happened to you?"

"It's a long story," Levi says gently. "Maybe better for later."

They walk into the kitchen and the smell of something blissful strikes Levi's nose. He notices a few sprays of catnip worked artfully into a flower arrangement on the kitchen table. He leans over and inhales deeply. When he looks up, a dark-haired woman looks at him from across the table, looking imminently satisfied.

Carla shakes his hand. "It's good to meet you, Levi," she says warmly. She glances at the arrangement on the table. "I'll send you home with some of the catnip. I always try to keep some around for the girls."

"I...uh, thank you." Levi is still faintly delirious from the wonderful smell. Armin hands Mikasa to Eren, who watches curiously from the door to the living room.

"You got a full house tonight," Erwin says. "Where's Grisha?"

"Oh, he's on call." Carla picks the tea kettle up off the stove. "He wanted me to ask you if you were doing better, though," she says to Levi. She pours the hot water onto a bundle of leaves in a glass teapot. The two cats dart upstairs.

Classic, Erwin thinks; a florist serving blooming tea. Armin and Eren clear the piles of textbooks and homework off the table.

"Would you like some?" Carla holds a spoonful of valerian root.

"Please," Levi says. She dumps a few of the little granules into his cup. Two young women in sweatshirts and shorts appear in the kitchen, Mikasa in her trademark red, Annie in white.

"Girls? Tea?" Carla gestures toward them. Annie grins greedily and fetches more teacups from the cupboard.

This is beautiful, Levi thinks. This place is cat heaven. And it's so clean. He smells the fragrant tea. Between Erwin and the two stable shifter girls, the atmosphere in the room is impeccably pleasant. The only thing that would make it better would be...

Armin sets a cake in the center of the table and begins to cut it.

"I can't even remember the last time I had cake," Levi says.

"You should have ordered some at dinner last night!" Erwin claps his hand on Levi's shoulder and sits down. He didn't even know Levi liked cake.

"Yeah, but it's expensive." Levi gazes into his tea.

Erwin laughs and shakes his head. "I would have been happy to share." Armin hands them each a plate of cake and exchanges mischievous glances with Eren.

 

**

"I still can't believe you know him." Eren shuts off the sink.

"You say that like he's famous or something," Armin says.

No, Eren thinks, just really, distractingly attractive.

Armin's phone beeps. A text from Jean. _We're on for tomorrow night. Can you still pick us up?_

_What's the address?_ Armin types back. Little dots float at the bottom of the screen. Armin writes the address on a piece of notebook paper and deletes the texts.

"Who are you texting?" Eren asks, shoving the last of the dishes in the dishwasher. Erwin sits in the living room with the girls while Carla shows Levi her workshop.

"It's from Jean. It's about the shifter he's breaking out."

Eren pouts.

"Oh, give me a break," Armin says, putting his phone back in his sweatshirt pocket. "You've been watching Levi like a hawk this whole time, and you don't see me getting upset about it."

"It's different," Eren says sheepishly.

Armin rolls his eyes. "Uh, no, it's really not." He pokes Eren and grins. "He can dish it out, but he can't take it, huh?"

Eren smirks. "You're just upset 'cause you have a crush on Mr. Smith."

"Yeah," Armin says. "Me and like, literally everyone else." Eren laughs. "Come on," Armin goads. "Admit it, you've thought about it too."

Eren inhales through his teeth and grins at the floor. "Yeah...like you said. You and everyone else."

"You think they're a thing?" Armin glances toward the living room, then toward the workshop.

"I mean, they were pretty touchy just now." Eren says. "I thought Mr. Smith was straight, though."

"Uh...you clearly have _not_ been paying attention," Armin teases.

"Well I know _you_ have," Eren retorts.

Armin lets it go. "I kinda hope they are," he says mischievously, looking toward the workshop again.

"You're awful," Eren says, reaching for Armin's hips.

"What? I'm just looking out for my favorite teacher." Armin grins. Eren kisses him until they hear Carla and Levi's footsteps in the hallway.

 

**

[ ](http://commander-z.tumblr.com/)


	20. Giving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finds something unexpected at the Jaegers' house. Mikasa tells the story of how she took the last name 'Ackerman.'

Well, she's not just being nice, Levi thinks. Carla's work table is covered in schematics, photos, sketches, and buckets of all sorts of odd botanicals Levi's never seen before. Bright grow lamps and two huge industrial refrigerators fill the tall, airy room with a constant, glowing hum. They'll have their work cut out for them, but at least, Levi thinks, it'll be in a beautiful space.

"I probably _could_ do it myself," Carla muses, leaning over the table, "but I'd _really_ prefer not to. It'll go _so_ much faster with more hands."

"No, I'm glad you asked me." Levi examines the rows of brilliantly colored plants behind the glass cases. "It's nice to work on something that actually makes people happy," he sighs. He wonders if Carla and Erwin know what it means to him to feel useful again; to do something for someone else, rather than always having to ask for help. To be something other than someone else's weapon.

They walk back into the kitchen. Eren and Armin step apart briskly. Carla doesn't seem to notice. Levi does.

He sinks into the plush couch in the living room next to Erwin when something else catches his eye: a thin navy volume in a library binding standing on a bookshelf by the door. He reaches over to pluck it off the shelf and examines the cover. _The Psychology of the Occult_ , by Josephine Ackerman.

"What is this?" he asks the room, party alarmed, partly disturbed. He flips through the pages.

Mikasa walks over, confused by Levi's sudden distress. "My old sponsor, before I met the Jaegers...She was a writer..."

Levi squints. "Josephine never published a book." He finds a copyright date at the back, several years after Josephine's death.

"No," Mikasa says, still uncertain, "it was her niece...she found the manuscript after her aunt died."

"Cassie?"

Mikasa nods. Levi looks back at the shelf and sees a few slim books of poetry and a novel bearing the name Cassandra Ackerman. "Wait...How do you know Cassie?" Mikasa asks.

"I knew who she was. But I never met her," Levi says, his voice light, still transfixed by the book as if handling an artifact from some lost civilization. "I grew up with Josephine. I lived with her until she died... I remember she used to write Cassie letters sometimes. But she never came over. She was your sponsor?"

"I lived with her when I was little, in Charleston. She had some kind of chronic pain condition. So, she didn't really go out or travel much."

"I wondered why your name on the roster was Ackerman, and not Jaeger," Erwin says. Mikasa smiles.

"I always went by Ackerman, too," Levi says with a forlorn grin.

"I remember Cassie telling me once that her aunt had sponsored shifters before she died. I think that's why she adopted me; she wouldn't have known what I was, otherwise."

Levi looks thoughtful. "They weren't that close, though, were they. Not until the end, at least."

Mikasa shakes her head. "It wasn't until Cassie started getting really sick that she started reaching out to family again. Or at least, that's the impression I always had." Erwin feels a pang of regret. He should call his mother.

Levi nods, still contemplating the book. "I thought all this was lost," he sighs. He leafs through the pages again.

"I think the original was. Cassie put this together out of the chapters Josephine sent her."

"What happened to her?" Levi's voice is soft but urgent.

"She passed away a few years ago." Mikasa looks suddenly uncomfortable. She sits back down on the overstuffed armchair next to Annie. "I was with her until I was about ten," Mikasa says. "Then...some people broke into the house...they were looking for me."

Levi and Annie feel the current emanating from Mikasa begin to darken with sorrow. Levi reaches for Erwin’s hand; something stabilizing. The boys notice, but they don't smile.

Mikasa looks at the floor, remembering. "I think it was the people who cleaned the house next door, or somebody they worked for. They'd been canvassing our house. I had to run. She tried to distract them so I could get away..." She looks back up at Levi, her eyes full of tears. "They didn't kill her, but she died a few years later... from complications with the injuries."

Levi clings on to Erwin's hand, his expression numb from the pain of knowing. In that instant he can tell she believes it was her fault. So. You're an unlucky black cat, too, he thinks. It's almost like we're family.

"How did you meet the Jaegers?" Levi asks cautiously.

"Eren found me," Mikasa says. Eren fidgets when Levi turns to look at him.

"We'd taken the boys to see Grisha's parents," Carla offers. "Eren ran off one afternoon and came back with a black eye, a fat lip, and a little barefoot girl wearing his sweatshirt."

"Some older kids had gotten a hold of me," Mikasa says with a shudder, Annie's arm around her shoulders. "While I was in my cat form. I thought they were going to kill me, honestly. Eren threw rocks and screamed at them to leave me alone, and then I thought they were going kill _him_. But they left me alone. And then I was in so much shock I started to shift right away. So he helped me hide and gave me his sweatshirt. Luckily it was too big for either of us and it came down to my knees." She smiles faintly.

"Grisha knew exactly what she was," Carla adds, "which was fortunate, since I took one look at Eren and I didn't know whether to be furious or terrified. I guess a little of both. But everything worked out just fine. We came back to Savannah, and Mika's been with us ever since."

Levi contemplates the two awkward boys sitting across from him. Both of them have risked bodily harm on behalf of a shifter, he realizes. Armin, at six, punished by his parents for trying to bring a cat in the house, and again, later, for leaving food outside, which he continued to do regardless. Then Eren, at ten, beaten up while rescuing Mikasa. He thinks of Erwin, pulling a gun on Kenny in the backyard. And Cassie, a petite woman with flaming red curls he knew only from a single photograph, distracting intruders.

"Did you ever see her again? Cassie, I mean," Levi asks.

"Just once," Mikasa says. "I had found her new address, so I sent her a letter telling her I was ok. Then, a year or so before she died, I got to go visit her; we figured it was safe. That was when she gave me the books."

Levi runs his thumb over the embossed cover.

"You can have it, if you want," Mikasa says gently. "I have all of Cassie's others."

He doesn't know what to say. He gazes at the book, then looks back up at Mikasa. But from the flaring of light that occurs in him when she offers, he doesn't have to say anything. She just smiles.

It's not until he and Erwin get into the car that he notices the dedication page.

_To my grandson, Levi._

**

Levi puts the sprigs of catnip in a mason jar half-filled with water and sets it on the night table next to the book while Erwin washes up. He brushes his teeth, still unusually pointy, even in his human form.

"Your friends are generous people," he says to Erwin as he pulls off his shirt.

Erwin smiles. "I do my best."

Levi inhales the scent of the catnip again and sighs.

"What's the matter?" Erwin asks, slipping off his bathrobe.

"Nothing." Levi takes off the rest of his clothes; gifts from Erwin. "It's just... _a lot_."

"I doubt they see it that way." Erwin walks up behind Levi, wraps his arms around his shoulders, and kisses his temple. "You sure you're ok?"

Levi looks at the jar of water for a moment. "Good things don't last long in my world," he says eventually. Erwin releases him and he lays on the bed, looking resigned.

"I don't want to tell you you're _wrong_ ," Erwin sits next to Levi. "But maybe you could... _start_ being wrong about that. Maybe that could change."

"Tch." Levi shuts his eyes and lets Erwin run his hand through his hair.

"I'm serious. You remember what I said about things getting better."

"I know," Levi mutters. "I want to believe it."

Erwin smiles.

"I hate having to ask for everything," Levi says to the ceiling. "I hate having to rely on people for...everything." He rolls over and buries his face in the pillow.

"That's hardly your fault, don't you think?" Erwin lies next to him and drizzles his fingertips down his back. "If you rely on generous people...isn't that because of other, selfish people?"

Levi looks up at Erwin, a little darkness underneath his frosty blue eyes. "You know Armin's parents hit him for trying to bring me into their house when he was a kid."

"I never knew that," Erwin says softly. "I knew they had a lot of problems, but I never knew that was one of them."

"All the time," Levi says. "And each other, too; it wasn't just his dad. They would just _go off_. About all kinds of things. And you know...he still just kept bringing me food; he just got better at hiding it." Levi reaches for Erwin. "Why do you do it?" He wraps his arms around Erwin's waist. "Why do you take in a person like me?"

The answer is obvious to Erwin. He wants to say it. It's way too early to say it.

"You make it easy." He kisses Levi's neck. "It's...easy to be generous with people who know how to receive." He feels Levi take a deep breath. "If you know it really matters to someone, then it becomes easy." Levi rests his cheek to Erwin's collarbone. "Everything matters to you, so it just...is easy. You want to keep doing it." He feels the tension starting to flow out of Levi's body.

"Sometimes it does more for the person doing the giving," Ewin muses. He reaches over to switch on the alarm clock and switches off the light. "You're not the only person who relies on other people, you know." Erwin sighs and Levi pulls himself closer in the dark. "I've been learning that the hard way this summer. It's been a real wake-up call for me, you know. I'd be a total mess if I didn't have Mike, Hange, Nan...and you. I've never been good at living alone." He feels Levi's grip weaken as sleep begins to take over. "Don't think for a minute you're the only one who relies on other people." He kisses the top of Levi's head again. "Or that I let just anybody stay in my house."


	21. Warnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finally wakes up before Erwin. Ymir makes some last-minute preparations.

He's long since quit trying to remember his dreams. Most of them turn out to just be nightmares.

Levi stands on the edge of a dark expanse of water with Farlan, embracing him. When he steps into the black shallows, Farlan doesn't follow. He stands waving on the shore as Levi swims farther and farther away, into total darkness, until a brilliant light emerges on the horizon.

Levi's eyes flicker open, but the bedroom is dim; only a few faint shafts of gray light pierce the blinds. Erwin makes no sound as he sleeps, his breath is shallow and light. His features look sharper against the faintly glowing window. Levi lets his eyes trace the contour of his nose, his cheekbones, and his jaw.

He slips on Erwin’s sweatshirt and takes the book into the living room. He opens it to a random chapter. Sixteen: Archetypes and Patterns. He smiles. A few sentences in, and he's back at the cluttered little dinner table in Josephine's townhouse, with a cup of hot tea and a slice of homemade cake. A few more, and after so many years, he can hear her voice again.

**

Marco doesn't know what time it is. It's not yet dawn. He's too nervous to sleep. A faint chorus of snores fills the crowded room. He creeps down cautiously from the rough wooden bunk, gingerly opens the bedroom door, and walks across the concrete floor of the unfinished basement to the tiny bathroom.

He'd be more worried about depriving the others of hot water if the shifters' bodies weren't supernaturally clean: nothing on the surface of the skin can shift. He strips off his clothes and turns on the water. His thoughts drift to Jean. His hand drifts to his cock.

"Can't sleep?" Ymir's voice startles him as he opens the bathroom door twenty minutes later. She lays across an old armchair, in a long flannel shirt over her ubiquitous black dress, examining her fingernails.

"It's so creepy how you do that." He towels off his hair. Whatever peace of mind he gained from the shower is now long gone.

She just shrugs. "Any shifter can do it. If you'd had years of uninterrupted practice out in the wilderness, you'd be able to sense it when other people wake up, too." She decides not to mention that the sudden discharge of sexual energy coming from the basement shower was about as subtle as a car bomb.

Marco hangs the towel on a hook and flops down on a dilapidated couch across from Ymir, a single bare bulb lit up above them. "I'm nervous."

"I know."

"Are you?"

She tilts her head back and looks at the exposed beams and drywall of the ceiling. What she feels is numb from anger. "I'm impatient," she says, cracking her knuckles. This gives Marco no comfort.

"Are you sure it's going to work?"

Ymir clasps her hands behind her head and looks at him. "One way or another. You're gonna' have three unarmed men, a horse, a wolf, and a Dalmatian."

Marco looks offended. "I'm called a Pointer."

"What?"

"The kind of dog I shift to. I'm a Pointer, I'm not a Dalmatian."

Ymir rolls her eyes. "I'm not taking you to a fucking dog show." Marco crosses his arms. "Ok. Scratch that. You're gonna' have three unarmed men, a horse, a wolf, and a Pointer. Excuse me."

Marco makes a face.

"Oh, what?" Ymir asks dryly.

"You know," he says, his throat tightening, "I really wish you'd just be a little nicer to me. I'm really trying hard, here. I'm doing the best I can, and I really want this to work."

"I know," she says quietly. She sits upright in the chair. "Listen. Whatever happens tonight, you ought to remember: this is my show."

Marco looks confused.

"Technically speaking, you and Jean are just defending yourselves," she says gravely. "I'm the one pulling the strings here."

Marco glances at the floor. "Why are you saying this?"

Ymir can feel the waves of fear and remorse coming off of Marco. "Because no matter how bad you want to go home, I don't think you really believe those men deserve to die." Marco shivers. "Now, of course, I disagree with you," she says with a faint smile. "And I have no qualms about putting someone away who deserves it." She leans forward and rests her arms on her knees. "But if you feel responsible for something you think shouldn't have happened, it can drive you crazy for the rest of your life." It can also drive you crazy, she thinks, before and during the execution of the plan. It's not just Marco's future conscience she's looking out for.

Marco sighs and leans back into the couch. "You're right." He watches a spider creep along the wall. "What are the others going to do after this?"

"Flegel will be the only one left who knows what we are. And he'll be obligated to keep the others hidden, so he doesn't get arrested himself. He'll be stuck at the restaurant without the van. So we'll tell the others to just stay there tonight until we can find them places to go."

"This is going to be a mess."

"No fucking kidding," Ymir sneers.

Marco gathers up some resolve. "But I'd rather deal with this than have things stay the way they've been."

Ymir gives him an admiring smile.

**

The antique clock in the living room reads quarter to six. Perfect, Levi thinks. He sneaks into the kitchen and turns on Erwin's sleek, stainless steel coffee maker; he puts on a kettle of water with the spout open so the whistle doesn't blare. Most mornings, it seems, Erwin is content to dump a scoop of protein powder into the blender with some ice and a banana. Levi has no patience for such nonsense.

He switches off the toaster before the chime goes off and flips over an omelette when the kitchen door creaks open.

"Levi. What are you doing."

Levi doesn't turn around. He waves Erwin off. "You have seen nothing. Go back to sleep."

"Levi—"

"It's like I'm not even here. Go back to sleep."

Erwin chuckles. The alarm is set to go off any minute as it is. He walks up to Levi and wraps his arms around his waist as he cooks. "I can never get it to do that," Erwin says, impressed, looking at the skillet.

"Tch." Levi switches off the stove. "Well, if you're not going back to bed, than at least sit down."

Erwin obliges. Levi sets the plate of eggs and toast in front of him, with a cup of coffee and a little glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice. Erwin smiles and shakes his head, flattered, delighted. "Levi...you don't have to do this."

Levi rolls his eyes. He pulls a plate of thawed fish from the refrigerator for himself. It looks so much less appetizing outside the context of the sushi bar, Erwin thinks. Levi sits next to Erwin with the fish and a cup of tea. He gives Erwin a slight scowl. "Are you going to take your own advice, or what?"

Erwin laughs and slices into the omelette. "It's really good," he says. "How did you learn to cook?"

"I pulled my weight around the house growing up," Levi says with a faint smile.

They eat in a tranquil, knowing silence.

"Thank you." Erwin kisses Levi’s forehead when he stands up from loading the dishwasher.

**

He's just turned on the shower when he notices a naked Levi standing in the door of the bathroom with crossed arms and a wicked grin.

"Yes?" Erwin asks.

"Thought I'd join you." Levi steps into the shower and kneels in front of Erwin, the hot spray hitting his shoulders.

"Oh really?" Erwin grins, already half hard. He leans against the wall of the shower.

"You got up early. You have time," Levi says as he licks the inside of Erwin’s thigh.

Such a delicate little tongue, Erwin thinks. And such dainty little hands. He doesn't dare tell Levi. But it makes him smile as Levi takes him into his mouth.

"Mother of God," Levi says after a minute, still squeezing and stroking Erwin’s shaft with his hand. "I ought to shift to a snake. Then I could unhinge my fucking jaw."

Erwin laughs as Levi pushes him to the back of his throat. "Oh, come on. It's not that big." Levi shrugs and sucks harder. Erwin grabs a handful of Levi's hair with one hand and the back of his neck with another; he tilts his head back against the tile. Levi jolts at the pressure and suddenly draws back, wiping his mouth.

"God. Fucking. Damn it," he hisses, looking at his clawed hands.

"What a shame," Erwin says facetiously. He tilts Levi's chin towards him with his finger. "Looks like we'll have to do something else." He grips Levi's shoulder lightly and Levi turns around. Erwin kneels behind him and begins to lick and finger him, making his body go rigid. "Aw, your tail's all wet." Erwin gives it a little pull as he slides another finger into Levi.

Levi gasps and rests his forearms against the wall, his claws clattering helplessly against the tile. "I'm sure...I'll get over it." He cringes and relaxes onto Erwin’s fingers.

Erwin presses the small of Levi's back against the wall; Levi angles his hips toward Erwin. Erwin grabs the base of Levi's cock, teasing him with his tip. He wraps his other hand around Levi's neck. "Is this all right?" he whispers into Levi's wet, furry ear.

Levi nods, totally non-verbal, letting Erwin throttle his body into the hot tile. You tell me which one of us is an animal, Levi thinks, dazed from Erwin’s thrusts. He feels small, like a toy in Erwin’s hard grip. The pressure and tension build up inside him as his limbs start to weaken. He feels Erwin stiffen, his movements harder and shallower. Erwin releases Levi's cock, making him writhe and shudder as he comes.

**

Levi lays on the bed, still partially transformed, bleary from the surge of hormones, a rocking sensation still coursing through his body. He watches Erwin get dressed. He can tell Erwin likes being watched; the slight pauses, the way he angles his body, the occasional glances toward Levi. Erwin leans over to kiss Levi before he leaves, stroking his damp hair, making his ear flutter involuntarily. Levi draws one claw lightly down the back of Erwin’s neck. Erwin shivers.

"You stay out of trouble, now," Erwin teases. He grabs his briefcase from the desk. Levi just smiles mischievously as Erwin shuts the door.

So I'm having sex with my cat, Erwin thinks as he leaves the driveway. He merges into traffic and decides that maybe it's better not to think about this too hard. The faint stinging still prickles the back of his neck.

**

Krista opens the door to the restaurant to let the band in. A bearded, braided, bespectacled crew of musicians traipses in with flight cases and amplifiers, carefully locked up instruments and messes of cords. Only a handful of diners sit at the tables during the lull between lunch and dinner. A book club chatters on the mezzanine. And like clockwork, in walks Jean, heading directly for the bar.

"Who is that guy?" Krista asks Ymir, flicking through the list of reservations. "I swear he's here like every day."

"Local artist," Ymir drawls. "He's in love with the bartender."

"Oh, God. I hope it's mutual at least."

Ymir smiles. "Oh, I think it is."

"I wonder if he knows about the... arrangement." Krista glances at the payroll screen. Checks are being issued. But who's cashing them, she wonders.

"He's not supposed to, but he does," Ymir says, under the clamor of the musicians setting up.

Krista sighs. She wants nothing to do with any of this. "I have to quit," she says to the screen. "I can't stand this. I can't stand to be around this. He's paying off the other managers to keep this a secret, isn't he."

"Give it a little time." Ymir's voice is low and dry. "Trust me," she laughs bitterly. "I hate this every bit as much as you do. But just...wait on it. Ok? We're all getting out of this one way or another. Your dad has plenty of enemies," she sneers.

Krista looks exasperated. "Ymir, why can't you just tell me what's going on?" An amplifier buzzes loudly in the corner.

Ymir steps back slightly, surprised at how anxious it makes her to see Krista upset. She looks around the room and crosses her arms. "Ok," she says. "I want you to take a good look at these people," she nods in the direction of Marco, of Hannah and Mina setting and clearing tables. "What do you think they all have in common?"

Krista frowns. "Well...they're all so quiet. They barely talk to me or to each other, even. Except Marco, I guess." Marco pours Jean a generous drink and laughs at a joke Krista doesn't hear.

"That's by design," Ymir says.

Krista shudders. "So they're being blackmailed?"

"In a way. I'll tell you this," Ymir steps closer to Krista again. "There's something that all of them have in common, that if everyone knew, would put them in real danger. Your dad knows this about them, so they work for him instead of exposing themselves to that danger."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Krista runs through the possibilities. Drug addicts? Prostitutes? Undocumented immigrants? Yet none of them have foreign accents.

"Of course you don't. No one's ever told you about it, because you never needed to know."

"This is so strange," Krista sighs.

"Oh honey. You just wait." Ymir grins wryly. She drapes an arm across Krista's shoulder. "So this thing...All the back of house staff have it. Blondie over there at the bar has it, that's part of why he's so entranced with Marco. I have it. You remember your teacher, Mr. Smith? Who came here the other night?" Krista looks profoundly confused. "His little boyfriend has it. The difference with him is that your dad and his posse don't know, just like they don't know about ol' horseface over there." She nods in Jean's direction again.

Oh god, Krista thinks. Some kind of rare virus, maybe. Some sort of horrible disease. Or maybe some kind of special ability. Maybe they're being harvested for organs.

Flegel opens the door to the basement stairs and scowls.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Ymir says. "I'll tell you more later." She gives Krista a little kiss on the neck and slinks down the staircase.

**


	22. Rupture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ymir and Marco escape from Rod Reiss, but not so cleanly as they hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of blood, gore, tears, and apologies, but not a ton on Eruri, unfortunately. I hope you'll bear with me for what it sets up in future chapters!

Levi prays for stabilization like redemption. It's painful to be suddenly mute when you've never wanted to talk to someone so badly. He lies in a square of late afternoon sunlight on the living room carpet when Erwin comes home.

Erwin picks him up carefully and feels the faintest grain of disappointment. He loves the little cat. But he loves the snarky, sarcastic little man more. He doesn't want Levi to resent his feline form, especially when the change is outside of his control. But it's too late. Levi does resent it.

He clings to Erwin’s side, a furry nugget, constantly vibrating with a loud purr. He lets himself bathe in the golden resonant light coming from Erwin, curled in his lap as he grades quizzes; his head on Erwin’s leg as he watches the end of a football game. When Erwin stands up suddenly after an improbable last-minute touchdown, Levi jumps back and yowls in protest.

"Sorry, sorry," Erwin scoops the cat back into his lap. Levi rolls onto his back and Erwin gently rubs his belly. In their human forms, the shifters seem relatively reserved, Erwin thinks, but in their animal forms they're promiscuously cuddly. Levi seems overcome by a kind of blissful haze. Erwin switches off the TV and carries the purring Levi into the bedroom. It's difficult to be too disappointed with such a constant outpouring of affection.

**

It's just after midnight when the band packs up and the Blue Magnolia closes. Jean asks Krista to call him a cab from the hostess stand, which perplexes her, since he doesn't seem remotely drunk. But then, he has been at the bar nearly all night, she realizes. Ymir watches from a dark corner of the porch as Jean and Marco climb into the taxi. Jean punches out a quick text to Armin—we should be ready in an hour—then switches off his phone. In the rear view mirror of the cab, Marco sees the white van keeping its distance. He grabs Jean's hand.

"Are you ok?" Jean asks. "You're shaking a little." But Jean's own palms are sweating. Even without a plan to carry out, he gets an adrenaline spike from finally touching the man he's been flirting with relentlessly for weeks.

Marco gazes anxiously into the rear view mirror.

"I'm nervous, too," Jean confesses.

Marco smiles a little. "Yeah," he says quietly. "I think that's why I trust you. 'Cause you're not a brave person either." Jean feels strangely exposed.

Marco wants to be polite to the driver. But it's a short ride to Uri's neighborhood. He reaches over to kiss Jean. Jean smiles, startled. Their teeth make a loud, painful click, and Marco laughs. Jean flushes red and Marco tries again. This time, Jean kisses him back with restrained desperation. Marco pulls him into it, slower, more decadent, his fingers twining through the long bleached strands of Jean's hair, as Jean reaches for his hips.

Jean becomes aware of the current coming from Marco, awash in a wonderful quality he can't quite name. He knows there are no guarantees that things will work out. But after so many awkward, clandestine hookups in barns and dirty art studios, he wants more than anything to try. The heat of Marco's body in his hands creates a kind of downward pull in him, an animalistic tension that he finds bizarre and pleasant. Marco feels it too, curious: does this always happen when shifters kiss each other? Working at his family's hotel gave him a supply of deeply closeted fraternity brothers, curious to experiment over the football weekend benders. But never another shifter.

The car stops and Jean looks at Marco with a mix of painful desire and awe.

They step out into the quiet neighborhood. Jean hands the driver a few faded bills. He spots the van, sitting discreetly in the pool of darkness between street lamps at the very end of the road. "This way." He wraps his arm around Marco's waist and leads him through an iron gate next to the row of houses.

A series of tall iron gas lanterns illuminates a walkway by the river behind the houses. It's idyllic, and just far enough from the neighborhood to conceal them. Behind a row of trees runs a narrow gravel access road.

"I just keep wondering, what if she's setting us up?" Marco's voice trembles slightly.

"I thought the same thing," Jean says, palpably nervous. "I figured...a horse can take a bullet much better than a human or a dog. And I'm stable. Even if I have to stay human until I can get my injuries treated...I can probably still get us out of this."

They pass a dark gazebo as the path takes a turn. They hear footsteps in the distance behind them. Jean stops and pulls Marco to him again for another shaky, anxious kiss.

**

"So this is why you like me in a skirt," Armin says as Eren's hand travels up his thigh.

Eren looks over Armin's shoulder at their reflection in the full length mirror on the inside of Armin's closet door. He rests his chin on the cashmere of Armin's blue cardigan, his hand disappearing up the tan faux suede skirt that they've both decided is a keeper. "Mm...it's one reason," he says.

This late at night, it will take an act of god to wake Armin's grandfather. Eren has no qualms about enjoying a little private fashion show. The bag of hand-me-downs sits slumped, nearly empty in the corner; the fitting pieces hang in the closet with a row of expensive, rarely-worn shirts, bought by Armin's mother.

Eren steps back and sits on the edge of the bed, pulling Armin onto his lap. He pulls back the thick fabric of the skirt, and slides off Armin's underwear. Seeing girls in skirts every day leaves him totally indifferent, but seeing Armin in one gives him a surge of greedy delight. He wraps one hand around the base of Armin's cock, and slips the other up his shirt, across the flat plane of his stomach to his chest, drawing him closer. Armin tilts his head back onto Eren's shoulder. Eren looks at their reflection again and smiles, tightening his grip, beginning to stroke and twist Armin's shaft.

He's less than thrilled that Armin agreed to help Jean with a vaugely-defined, late-night errand, even if it's supposedly to help another shifter. But Eren's done worse than decide to stay up late, keeping Armin company.

**

"That's enough, you two," grunts a condescending voice from down the trail. Marco shivers and rests his forehead on Jean's shoulder.

They turn around slowly to face the three portly men in suits with guns, an odd mismatch for tall, muscular Ymir, a pace behind them, in her thin dress. She carries a mass of harnesses and leashes under one arm. Ymir erupts into a cruel, bitter laugh. "You idiots," she hisses. Rod and the others chuckle at her sudden surge of venom. Marco begins to panic. But Jean notices that her eyes are fixed on the back of Reiss's neck.

"Shift and hold still," he spits.

Reeves produces a plastic bag. Marco undresses and shoves his clothes inside. He takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky. The air electrifies and he contracts back into his Pointer's body. His bones scream in pain from the forced shift. Jean takes his time, taking the plugs out of his ears, the rings out of his nose and eyebrow.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Rod groans. Jean shoots him an indignant look and unbuttons his shirt.

Ymir pulls off her own clothes and the thin shoes, wraps them in the long, thin strap of her handbag, and ties them loosely in a loop around her neck. Jean and Marco look at her, perplexed. This was not part of the plan. The gunmen turn around.

"Ymir, what are you doing? I didn't tell you to—"

"I'm helping," she cuts in with a cold sneer.

Reeves and Wald take their eyes off the brazenly naked Ymir and train their guns back on Jean and Marco.

"Get on with it!" Reiss grunts, impatient, though still clearly enjoying the little power trip. The air flashes menacingly, a sharp, deafening noise without sound; a bolt of lightning with no light, as the wolf and the horse appear. Marco cowers and slinks into the dark trees, the three men stunned at Jean's sudden, tremendous stature. Ymir lunges for Rod. Jean rears furiously, the guns shooting only loud blasts of hot air. He kicks the other two horrified men down easily, but his hooves catch Wald's ribcage and Reeves' skull, puncturing them violently against the muddy ground. Jean recoils, shocked at the mutilated bodies beneath him.

Ymir's teeth begin to sink into Rod's neck. He presses the gun to her head and fires. She lets out a furious howl of pain. Rod climbs to his feet to run, clutching his bleeding neck, but the movement catches Jean's shimmering, golden eye. He can't outrun a horse. Jean gathers up his resolve and rakes him down, crushing his body into the dirt of the path.

Jean shuts his eyes, spine like a live wire. He rears up again and in a moment, stands on his human legs; the beautifully mottled palomino coat dissolves back into his heavily tattooed human skin.

Half of Ymir's face is a mess of blood. Her body shakes with heavy, labored breaths; the wreath of fabric around her neck is soaked in blood. Jean catches a glimpse of white bone in the orange glow of the gas light. "Shit," he mutters. "Ohhh, shit..." He searches frantically for his clothes; not ruined, but spattered with dirt and blood from the conflict. Marco whimpers and creeps back onto the path. Jean grabs his phone from the pocket of his jeans and switches it on. He throws on his clothes as quickly as he can while the little device powers up.

"Hey," he turns to Ymir, inspecting her face. "You still with me?" He can't tell if she only has one eye left, or two. She lets out a low growl. "Ok, can we still walk?" She growls louder and takes a few tipsy steps. "Ok. Ok. Good. We gotta' get out of here." He grabs the bag of Marco's clothes and gently grips Ymir's thick fur, leading them off the path, into the dark grove of trees.

**

Armin's phone rings. He pushes himself up off of Eren's chest in the dark. It's a half hour before he expects the alarm to go off. It's a call. He recognizes the number as Jean's.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Armin," Jean tries his best not to sound out of breath. "We got done a little sooner than we thought. Can you, uh...can you come get us?"

"Yeah," Armin says, still waking up from the nap. "Hey, is everything ok?"

"Uh...yeah," Jean lies through his teeth.

"Eren's with me, is that ok?"

"Sure."

"Ok, see you in a minute."

Eren sits up and stretches. "What was that all about?" He yawns. "I thought he wasn't supposed to call you."

"He wasn't," Armin says curiously, pulling his clothes back on.

**  
"Hey, hey, stay with me, now," Jean sits with Ymir and Marco at the edge of the access road, hidden by a thick spray of saw palmettos. No cars pass. Only crickets obscure the noise of Ymir's groans of pain and Marco's terrified whines. He rests one arm on Ymir's back to make sure it still moves with her breath; the other he uses to stroke Marco's ears.

Headlights stream down the empty road. Jean stands up and waves at the small silver car.

Armin steps out and flinches at the sight of Ymir. "Jean...what is going on here—"

"Armin, I'm so, so sorry—"

"Jean, what the fuck?" Eren walks over from the passenger side. He sees the blood-covered wolf and recoils. "Jean! What the fuck is happening here?"

"Y'all, I'm so sorry—I'll explain—listen, we have to get to the clinic—"

"Oh my god..." Through a gap in the trees Armin sees shiny patches of darkness on the ground. He presses through the brush.

"Armin, don't—" Jean pulls Armin's shoulder, but it's too late. Armin sees the crushed bodies, the spatter of bloody hoof prints carved deep into the path.

"Oh my god..." Armin steps back toward the car, shaking; he breaks into a cold sweat. A wave of nausea descends upon him. He sits back against the side of the car, buries his face in his hands, and tries not to faint.

"Jean..." Eren turns to him, livid, spotting the carnage through the trees. He suppresses the urge to vomit. His eyes tear up. "What did you do?" He looks around frantically, then incredulously at Jean. "Are you...are you a horse?"

Jean sighs. "I'll explain everything, I promise, but we have to get to the clinic. Please—"

Eren rushes over to Armin. "Armin, can you drive?" He asks. It's futile. Armin can't answer. "Fuck." He reaches down and grabs Armin's hands, pulling him back upright. "I'm gonna' drive us, ok?" Armin barely nods, his breath shallow. "Jean, look up the directions to the clinic." He sets a shaking Armin in the passenger seat and shuts the door. Marco jumps into the back seat and Jean climbs in behind him, steadying Ymir, his own clothes now smeared with blood.

"Which way?" Eren asks at the end of the gravel road.

"Left," Jean says, squinting at his phone. "Then right to get onto the highway."

"Jean, what the hell did you do?" Eren accelerates in a way that does nothing for Armin's nausea. "Who were those people? And what the fuck happened to that other dog?! I thought you were just with one other person!"

"She got shot—"

"What?" Eren swerves into another lane.

"With a blank!" Jean yells.

"What the fuck? That makes even less sense." Eren careens onto the highway.

"God, Eren, you are the worst driver."

Eren turns around and glares at him. Jean's eyes widen. "The fuck are you doing? Look at the road!" he screams. "Eren, if we get stopped, we're done for, all of us—"

Eren grips the steering wheel with white knuckles. "Why were people shooting at you?! Armin said you were just running away—"

"I know, I know, I said that. It wasn't supposed to go like this," Jean groans. He leans his forearm against the back of Armin's seat, his body tingling, starting to go numb from adrenaline. "Those guys were from the auction, ok? They followed us. They knew who we were." He starts to run out of breath. "Ymir...She's the other dog. I mean, she's a wolf, but whatever—Ymir swapped the bullets, a few days ago. That's why they had blanks. They made us shift..." He starts to cry. His nerves have run out. "Eren...Armin...I'm so sorry..." he heaves. "I didn't know..." Marco licks his face; Jean wraps his arms around the dog. "I didn't know it was going to be like this," he cries into Marco's fur.

Eren glares in front of him. He holds fast to his thread of anger toward Jean to avoid breaking down himself.

"I didn't know...so, those men...it's not just Ymir and Marco they had. They have a bunch of other people, too." Jean catches his breath and clings to Marco. "The others...no one else knows who they are...they can escape now. There was a bunch of them...but now the owners are gone..." Jean sighs and buries his face again.

Eren looks at Jean in the rearview mirror with a mixture of horror and wonder.

**

Annie looks up from the computer. Something is amiss in the parking lot. She tunes in. The strangest current she's ever felt. No, she realizes. Two of them. She opens the door, shocked to see Eren. Then a strange looking man she's never seen before. Then Armin, looking fragile and pale. And then another shifter dog.

"Holy shit," she says as she and Bertolt gingerly lift the wolf's body onto a gurney. "What happened here?"

"Shot with a blank," Jean musters. "Long story."

Annie and Bert exchange worried glances. She knew Armin had plans to help a shifter she hadn't met. But this was the last thing she expected. Armin says nothing; he walks slowly, as if through water, clutching Eren's arm, struggling to keep his balance.

**

Jean looks at the clipboard and shakes his head. "I can't fill this out. I'm sorry." He sits on a big leather couch in the waiting room, wearing an extra set of scrubs while his and Ymir's blood-soaked clothes tumble around in the washing machine at the back of the clinic. He looks defeatedly up at Bertolt at the desk. Marco rests his head in his lap. "I don't know how old she is or anything. Last name...you know, I don't think she even has a last name."

"It's all right." Bertolt takes the paperwork from him. There doesn't seem to be a chance she'll shift. None of the techs have ever encountered anyone so diamond solid, with a current so brilliantly strong, even in the midst of terrible pain.

"You're sure nobody else knows you're here?" Bert is still dubious of the plan Jean tried to explain to them. Jean nods, stroking Marco. Armin lays in Eren's arms on the other side of the couch, beginning to regain his senses.

"Y'all want some food?" Bert asks. They all nod. He brings over a box of chips and granola bars from a little break room at the end of the hall. He opens up a little bag of treats for Marco, who swishes his tail happily.

"You ok?" Jean asks Armin.

"Yeah...I'm all right." He opens a bag of Cheetos. Eren wraps his arms around Armin protectively. The tingling sensation is beginning to leave his body, though the fatigue is there to stay.

"Armin, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok," Armin says weakly. "I think you did the right thing."

Eren is not so forgiving. He shoots Jean a bitter look. It's not even offing the men from the auction that he minds. It's the lying to Armin. "Jean...why didn't you tell us this was going to happen? Or why didn't you get Hange or someone else to come get you?"

Jean looks at the floor. "I'm sorry," he sighs. "I wanted Hange and Moblit to think Marco was just someone I met. I didn't want them to worry. Plus, I didn't think she'd agree to it."

"And you thought Armin would?" Eren snaps.

"Yeah," Jean says with exasperation. "I did."

"But only if you didn't tell him you were going to, what, kick some people to death?"

"Eren. It's ok," Armin says.

"No, it's not fucking ok," Eren says. "You had a panic attack, I thought you were gonna' pass out, the inside of your car is covered in wolf's blood, and we could have crossed ways with the people we've been trying to hide Mikasa from for the last six years! Tell me how that's ok!"

"Eren..." Armin grips his shoulders and looks at him, tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm going to be fine. Yeah, I feel really bad, but it's going to go away, it always does. All right?" He turns around and lays back into Eren's arms. "I just wanted to help someone," he says to the ceiling. "And we did. So can't we just...be happy that we helped?"

"I'm sorry," Eren says softly into Armin's ear.

Jean feels nauseous with guilt. The air around Marco begins to flicker. He whimpers nervously.

"Shit," Jean says. "Eren, I need the car keys; I gotta' get Marco's clothes."

Eren reaches in his pocket and flings them at Jean. Bert walks over and points Marco to the bathroom.

He waits, chilly without his clothes, until Jean reappears with the plastic bag. Jean turns away as he changes. Marco chuckles. "It's ok, you can look."

Jean grins and sheepishly watches Marco get dressed. I can't wait for all this mess to be over, Jean thinks. So we can just go home. A spray of freckles covers Marco's entire body. Jean feels lanky, even scrawny in comparison, even though they're about the same height. But if Marco thinks so, he doesn't seem to mind. He wraps his arms around Jean and rests his head on his shoulder. Jean feels a tear stream down Marco's face. "Thank you," Marco whispers. Jean lets his hands travel down Marco's back, feeling the tone of his muscles through the soft, worn-out black t-shirt. Marco sighs a little from the pressure.

"Are you ok?" Jean asks. He notices the noisy quality in the space around Marco.

"It still hurts a lot to shift," he says. A painful ringing echoes through his bones; a wild static flickers up his spine.

"I'm sorry." Jean kisses Marco's neck. He can barely remember shifting being painful; not since he was a child, running with his herd on a remote, marshy island.

"It'll be all right." Marco presses himself into Jean and gives him another long, slow kiss.

**

Marco walks shyly back into the waiting room, and the others can't help but smile. His brown hair and profusion of dark freckles are a perfect analogue for the Pointer's beautiful spotted coat.

"Armin?" he asks. Armin stands up, and, to his surprise, Marco grips him in a vice-like hug. "Thank you," Marco says, his eyes filling up with tears. "Thank you so much for coming to get me."

"Uh...of course," Armin's voice wavers a little, startled.

Marco leans down and hugs Eren, too. "Thank you so much." He's surprisingly strong, Eren thinks. The tension in the room dissolves a little from the outpouring of Marco's effusive gratitude. "Ah, I was thinking," Marco stands back up, "we really ought to do something about your car."

"I'll do it," Jean offers. He turns to Bert. "Y'all got any cleaning supplies we can borrow?"

"You name it," Bert says. He opens a supply closet filled with huge tubs of brightly colored chemicals. He and Jean and Marco walk out to the car.

Armin gets up to help, but Eren reaches gently for his wrist and gives him a pleading look. "Don't you think you've helped enough?" Armin sits back down in Eren's lap, and Eren avails himself of the moment of privacy to kiss him everywhere.

**

Levi stretches out along the bed and exhales deeply. His body feels warm and light, the transition easy, fluid. He smiles in the dark and rolls onto his side. The movement rouses Erwin. He reaches over to stroke Levi's hair; Levi reaches for Erwin and draws himself up next to him. Erwin notices Levi's serene look.

"You all right?"

"It didn't hurt this time," he says into Erwin's chest. He lays there for a moment, contemplative. "Ymir told me...being around you would help."

Erwin smiles, inordinately proud. Levi heaves a sigh.

"What's the matter?"

"I wonder if she got out," Levi muses.

"I hope so," Erwin says. He kisses the top of Levi's head and drifts back to sleep.

**


	23. Morning people

Erwin's not one to remember his dreams much, either.

At the edge of a dark expanse of trees, Marie kisses his hand. When he walks into the black woods, she doesn't follow. Erwin walks deeper and deeper into the darkness until a light begins to emerge between the trees. In the distance, he can begin to make out a shadowy figure.

When he opens his eyes, the room is dark. Levi lies on his side, facing away from him. The blankets have all been pushed down to the foot of the bed; the sheet lies draped over Levi's hip, just obscuring the trail of scars. He has a marble quality in the low light. Erwin considers the sharp angle of his shoulder versus the delicate slope of his spine. He's remarkably pale, Erwin thinks; especially for someone who spent weeks outdoors. But perhaps he was only human at night, or confined to the shady marshes during the brutal stints of midday sun.

Levi's skin is cool to the touch from the ambient air. Erwin strokes the back of his neck with the backs of his fingers. Levi lets out a low sigh and rolls onto his back, into Erwin's outstretched arms; his lead-lined eyelids don't manage to open. Erwin kisses Levi's cheek, his neck, his shoulder. His breath is quiet, but deep.

Is it really Levi you want, Erwin asks himself, or is it just to not be lonely? Life with Marie had a warmth, a serene comfort, a friendliness to it. In the beginning, anyway. Erwin pulls Levi a little closer and sighs. She was right to end it. He understands it now. It's painful, he thinks, to hold onto someone, and feel infinitely distant; even worse to want to hold them, and feel that doing so would be an invasion, a molestation. Did you just want to hold someone again?

But not just anyone.

Levi turns over to face Erwin; his chest is cool against Erwin's skin. Erwin pulls the blankets back over them, and sleep reclaims Levi. Erwin misses her. There's no way around it. But as Levi sinks into him, he wonders if perhaps he misses something he never really had. It was lonely in the last year, not just over the past summer. How much longer before that did she feel alone, he wonders. The thought makes his eyes sting, a few beads of tears caught in the cage of his light eyelashes.

There's a harshness to Levi, a bitterness. A depth of pain that few people Erwin has met have ever known. But there's a softness, too, under the surface. The cat is shamelessly playful, a decadent seeker of attention; the man, too, indulgently affectionate and yielding. What strange inverses of each other they are, Erwin thinks. Marie was all graciousness and deference, obscuring a core of alienation and pain. Levi is teeth and claws, sneers and glares, wrapped around a core of undaunted devotion.

"I met someone. Well, I didn't really expect to, we just kind of ran into each other," is how the imaginary conversation starts. "He's a little younger than I am. Yeah...it's another man. Well, I didn't think you'd be too surprised." Over the past few days, Erwin has imagined talking to his father. Coming out as bisexual. He imagines his father, having 'seen it all' in Vietnam, giving him a knowing nod. And advice. There's no one's advice he wishes for more. There's no one else he wishes would be happy for him. No one else he knows who made such emphatic exhortations to take care of the people you've got, 'cause they're all you've got.

When Levi wakes up, it feels like waking up into a pool of light. His eyelashes graze Erwin’s skin. He notices the shining trail down Erwin's cheek. He says nothing, just looks at Erwin for a moment in the gray pre-dawn glow, then kisses him, running his fingernails through his hair, down his back. Erwin slides down and tucks his head into Levi's chest.

"What's the matter?" Levi whispers.

Erwin is silent for a moment. "I just miss them," he says stoically, his voice tinted with shame. "Marie...and my dad."

Levi clutches Erwin to him. "Why wouldn't you?" The words are blunt, but he says them softly. "I miss my best friend all the time," he says knowingly. "And my mother. You've seen me." Erwin retracts a little. "Erwin...people don't have to be dead for you to miss them."

Erwin heaves a sigh.

"You don't think a divorce is a kind of death?" Levi asks.

Erwin looks up at him. "I never really thought about it that way." He kisses the center of Levi's chest. They let themselves drift off, Levi buoyed by the resonant glow.

**

Ymir's consciousness hovers above her wolf's body on the operating table. In the room, one human. Very bright, a woman, older: the surgeon. Two shifters. Earnest, one woman and one man, younger: the assistants. If she could smile, she would smile, even laugh. This place is full of light, she thinks. Resonance everywhere! Unmistakable between the canine shifter in the operating room and one farther away, scrubbing Ymir's own blood out of the interior of a car in the parking lot. A steadily growing flicker between the Paint and the Pointer in the waiting room. No surprise there, she's been watching it develop for weeks now. Near them, two young human men, but with an old connection between them.

What about the girl, she thinks, tuning into Annie. Annie pauses for a moment, unnerved. She feels herself being read, scanned. It's one thing to have a shifter tune into you. It's quite another when it's an anesthetized patient. She shivers.

She has it too, Ymir thinks. Somewhere past the reach of her awareness. Another little cat. It's nice to be around it, something soft to listen in to while her body reels from the anesthesia, sick from the artificial sleep, sick from the ungodly pain in her face. But it makes her miss her pack ferociously.

**

"We're going to keep her here for another day or so," Annie explains. "Who do I call when she's ready to leave?"

Jean and Armin look at each other.

"Uh, I guess me," Jean says.

"I'll pick her up," Armin offers. "Jean, you can just call me when they let you know." Eren twitches.

"Are you ok to drive?" Marco asks earnestly.

"Yeah." Armin steels his nerves. He's not quite ready to drive. But the thought of Eren driving again reignites the nausea.

The smell of artificial pine nearly knocks them out when they get into the car. Bert left a little jar of air freshener in the cup holder, the beads of gel sending out waves of chemical fury. Armin supposes it's better than blood. But even still, they ride back to Hange's coach house in the early morning light with all the windows down.

The little coach house apartment is sparsely furnished, overwhelmed by Jean's canvases. A paint-spattered tarp covers most of the floor, bunched up around the legs of an easel. Jean collapses onto the bed in the corner and begins unbuttoning his shirt. "I feel like I could sleep for two days."

Marco sits down next to him and peels off his t-shirt. "Yeah. Good thing I don't have 'work' tomorrow," he says with a grateful sigh.

"Of course you do."

"What do you mean?"

"You have to model for me," Jean says with a sly grin.

Marco laughs. Jean reaches up and pulls Marco down next to him, far less shaky this time.

Armin sits on the edge of his bed and stares at the floor, his mind spinning; exhausted, but too anxious to sleep.  
Eren sits next to him. "That was really scary, wasn't it," he whispers.

Armin sits still, his eyes glazed over. He hasn't felt this kind of adrenaline-laced fatigue since the last time both of his parents were in the same room.

**

Levi tries not to let on his excitement—his relief—at having something to do, as much as he relishes the quiet mornings reading Erwin’s books. Erwin pulls into the Jaegers' driveway and reaches across the console to kiss Levi, reluctant to let go.

"Call me if you need anything today, ok? Or have Carla or Grisha call me."

"I have a feeling I'll be in good hands, " Levi says with restraint. He doesn't want to tease Erwin too much for being overly worried, not with the level of chaos he's managed to manifest thus far in his life.

Carla waves from the doorstep and Levi steps inside. Erwin remembers his comment about not being the person he wants. Erwin concedes the possibility. But he doesn't really believe it. He smiles. He's not used to looking forward to getting home so much. Levi takes a sip from the thermos of tea that Erwin made him and feels profoundly content.

**  
The fog from the river begins to dissipate. Uri drops his paper cup of coffee onto the trail.

"Mother of God." Kenny unclasps his hand from Uri's and stares down at the contorted bodies. So much for their tranquil morning walk. A dark mass blocks the sleepy river path.

Uri glances at Kenny. "You ever seen anything like this?"

He has. There's no point in distressing Uri with that information now, though. He shakes his head. Uri draws his phone from his pocket. Kenny walks closer. Faint footprints from the other end of the trail lead to the mess of carnage. Then two sets of pawprints emerge, the deep impressions at the muddy sides of the trail still filled with small amounts of bloody water. Then hoofprints, cut deep into the ground in places. Hoofprints with no shoes, he notices. Two sets of pawprints leave the trail. But the hoof marks occur only near the bodies.

"God have mercy. Who the fuck are our neighbors," Kenny mutters. He glances at the ground again. A pile of harnesses lays stamped into the mud. A few teeth lie scattered on the ground. Clean, white ribs pierce the shirt of one of the mangled figures. He walks to over to one a few paces away and scowls. He tilts the dead man's face up from the dirt with his boot to get a better look. The man looks familiar. "Uri…you gotta' take a look at this," Kenny says as Uri finishes giving the police his address.

Uri recognizes the dead face of his cousin. The last remaining bits of color drain from his face. He slips his phone back in his pocket. "Motherfucker." He shakes his head. "This is why we don’t fuck around with the auction," he says with irritated authority. "Rod, you sorry son of a bitch." Of all the places someone could have chosen to give you what you deserve, why here? He starts to get a headache that will remain for days.

**

Armin says nothing during the homeroom period. He says nothing during Erwin's class. He sits in the back corner of the room, resting his face against his hand, his eyes half open. When the bell rings, he's the last to shuffle out, his posture crumpled beneath the weight of his backpack. Erwin catches him on the way out.

"Armin, are you all right?"

He freezes for a moment. He doesn't want to lie. He has no idea what to say. He looks around uneasily and fights back tears.

Erwin gives him a sidelong glance. "You don't look well."

Armin looks at the floor. The words don't come.

"Do you want to talk in my office?" Erwin offers.

Armin sets the heavy backpack down and slumps against the door.

"Did something happen?" Erwin talks to Armin quietly, like approaching a wounded animal.

Armin looks around nervously. "Do you know Jean?" The redness around his eyes makes them look bluer.

"The one who lives with Hange?"

Armin looks distant. "I tried to help him. Last night." He pauses. "He had plans to help a shifter from the auction run away." Anxiety brews in Erwin, but he waits patiently for the story to emerge. "I thought…" Armin stammers, "I thought I was just going to pick them up…like this simple, easy thing…" he starts to sniffle. "There was another shifter with them…they killed these three men from the auction…" Armin shudders. He passes the threshold for tears and wipes his face with his arm.

Erwin goes cold. "The wolf," he says.

Armin looks at Erwin with abject horror. "You know about her?"

"And Jean is the horse, " he concludes. He folds his arms and contemplates his trembling student. "She and Levi know each other. I met her the other night; she told Levi she had a plan. I never would have guessed Jean was the horse, though. Him I haven't met."

Armin sighs, relieved there isn't so much to explain. "I don't know what we're going to do. Ymir got shot. She survived, but Dr. Dreyse had to operate on her. I don't know how we're going to pay for it." Erwin looks confused. "Annie said they can do some of it pro bono. But it's still gonna cost a ton, and it's not like Jean has any money."

"Does Hange know about this?"

Armin shakes his head. "I don't know what he's going to tell her." He gives Erwin a pleading look. "He swears no one knows who or what he is and that nobody's going to come looking for us. But I don't believe him."

Erwin wants to tell him not to worry. But he doesn't know himself whether that's fair advice. "Armin, don't worry about the money thing for now. We'll get that sorted out one way or another." Armin nods and wipes his face again, embarrassed. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. I don't think you did anything wrong, anyways. Let me talk to Levi and see what he knows about this, ok? When Ymir's talking again, we'll find out what she knows." He looks at Armin again. It's probably inappropriate for a teacher to touch a student, but this child needs a hug. Erwin steps closer, but decides to just lay a hand on his shoulder. "You should go home. Don't try to come to practice today."

"I'm supposed to drive Eren and Mikasa home."

"I think they can figure that out on their own." Erwin feels a twinge of irritation at Armin's sense of duty. "Or I can drive them. I need to pick up Levi from the Jaegers' anyway."

Armin gathers up his backpack.

"I'm amazed you even made it to school today."

Armin gives a little nervous laugh and slinks through the hall as the bell rings.

**

He's about to pull in to the driveway of his grandfather's house when he sees his mother's car. He keeps driving.

He texts Carla at a stoplight. _Can I come to the house? I had to leave school early._

_Of course_   
_What's the matter sweetie?_

He knows he doesn't even have to ask. But he suspects that part of the reason he's always welcome is because he always bothers. _I think just a cold. Mom's at home._

_Talk to Grisha when he gets home ok?_   
_Levi is at the house. I'm at the grocery store. Do you need anything?_

_I'm ok. Thanks._

He pulls the front door key from underneath a little stone rabbit and walks in.

Levi sits reading at the kitchen table, a bite of cake balanced on his fork. His fingertips are tender from cutting and bending wire all morning. He turns around, surprised to see Armin. "You look terrible."


	24. Unknown numbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi does his best to comfort Armin. Krista and Flegel deal with the aftermath of their fathers' disappearances. Marco phones home, Eren sulks mightily, and another unexpected object comes from the Jaeger household.

Armin sits hunched over the table with the throw blanket from the couch wrapped tight around his shoulders. Levi remembers him sitting like that in the corner of his room as a child, after the shouting died down, maybe finding some comfort in the artificial embrace of the fabric. Those were the moments Levi really did want to come inside. Not for food, or relief from the heat. Just to sit with Armin.

He decides not to mention it.

Levi pours them each another cup of tea. A pair of birds hopping around on the deck outside keeps drawing his attention away from Armin's story.

"Not to put too fine a point on it," Levi lays his fork across the empty plate, "but he did lie to you. And made you do something you didn't want to do."

Armin looks dejectedly at the table.

Levi wonders if he's gone too far. "Not to rub salt in your wounds, here. But it wouldn't be the first time someone lied to you about everything being all right when things were going to hell." Levi sips his tea and wonders how much his and Armin's memories of his parents overlap. "If you think it's getting to you more than it should...well, maybe there's a reason for that." He notices the fluffy birds again and twitches.

"No, you're right." Armin looks up at Levi through the dense lattice of his disheveled bangs. "I guess it...takes me back," he sighs. "Not in a good way." He tries to fight off an oncoming wave of nausea.

Levi considers him for a moment. "If I were you, I'd be fucking furious."

Armin squints. He's not mad at Jean, and he doesn't want to be. But he is embarrassed by how much he wants Jean to like him, even if he has no intention of being anything other than a casual acquaintance. Marco, too.

"What do you think is going to happen now?" Armin asks.

Levi contemplates the birds. He slinks back in his chair, holding the teacup by the rim. "Hard to say. When people from the auction find out Rod's dead, they'll probably go on the hunt for the shifters he bought. Try to divide up the territory, so to speak." Armin shivers. "They've got no reason to come after _you_ , though," Levi continues. "None of them know who you are. I mean, as much as he screwed you over, you were actually a pretty wise choice of accomplices on Jean's part. Now, Jean will be in demand, for sure. Those guys are gonna' go apeshit if they find out there's a shifter that's a horse. Fucking witch hunt. But if he's stable, he ought to be able to hide just fine. Ymir will probably leave town first chance she gets. I don't see her sticking around long."

Armin nods, staring into his teacup.

"Would you have done it," Levi asks, "if you'd known what the plan was all along?"

Armin looks somber. His throat tightens and dries, the whole cavity of his chest draws inward with guilt. "Yeah," he says quietly. "If I'd known what to expect...yeah. I just wouldn't have told anyone. Or brought Eren. But...yeah, I would have. At least, I think I would. Maybe if I knew Jean better. It's not really the kind of thing you can tell someone about when you've only met them a few times." He rests his face in his hands. "That's part of what gets me. I don't even really think Jean was wrong. To do it the way he did."

Levi scowls at his tea and remembers Erwin's comments about loathsome things. "It's not your fault, you know. Or Jean's, even." He glares at the birds by the window again, Lovoff's cruel face still etched into his mind. "It's because of people like the ones he got rid of that people like you and I have to make these kinds of decisions." Levi's voice has an unmistakable chill.

"You've had to do this too." Armin's voice is hollow with sorrow. He realizes he still knows so little about Levi’s story.

Levi shrugs. "Essentially," he says. "Right before I met you. That's why I was in the woods. Different actors, same old show." Levi sets the cake plate in the dishwasher.

Armin gives an uneasy laugh.

"What?" Levi rinses his hands off in the sink.

"Just seems dumb to be upset about watching it, as opposed to actually doing it."

Levi sits back down and gives Armin a wry smile. "Yeah," he says sarcastically. "You better cut it out there, waterworks."

Armin laughs, dryly but genuinely.

Levi clasps his hands behind his head and leans back in his seat. "Yeah, one thing you have to know about me," he looks at Armin with mock condescension, "is that I am the Official Arbiter of Pain." He narrows his eyes. "Only _I_ get to decide what's worth crying about. It's a special privilege that goes along with being the King of the Forest." Armin's chuckling goads him on. "Sorry kid. Surprise carnage isn't gonna' cut it. Flashbacks? Moral gray areas?" He shakes his head. "Nope. You better save your tears for, you know, something _really_ bad."

Armin looks at the table with a faint smile. Levi's spine begins to crackle. Armin wants to keep talking, but his own body is screaming for sleep. They exchange a knowing look.

Levi steps into the bathroom and cracks the door. He pulls off his shirt and looks at himself in the mirror. He lets his gaze go blurry, unfocusing his eyes. He's so rarely near a mirror when the change happens. He perceives a light, a kind of aura around him as the transition takes hold, the fainest outline of a structure in the shape of a cross superimposed on his body. He shuts his eyes. The current feels more like a waterfall and less like a hair dryer being dropped into a bathtub. Then, there's something that unmistakably reminds him of Erwin. Not so much a presence, but a reminiscent quality. Well, if there's _one_ thing you have in common with Erwin, he thinks, it's that you both ought to take your own fucking advice. Good going, King of the Forest. Everyone's allowed to cry but you.

He slides off the rest of his clothes, folds them neatly, sets them on the shelf, and lets his human body dissolve into light. It feels so normal now, he thinks.

Carla sets her shopping bags on the table as Levi peeks out from the bathroom door. She kneels down.

"Hi Levi," she says softly. He presses his head into her outstretched hand. It always amuses him how people's demeanors shift around him in his cat form. She reaches out her other hand and Levi climbs into her arms. "Oh my goodness," she exclaims. "You're so light! Oh honey, you're all fur," she laughs. He lays his head on her shoulder and purrs. "We got a lot done today, didn't we?" She wanders into the workshop with him, the glass refrigerators packed with arrangements. "A few more hours tomorrow, and we ought to be all set." She runs her fingers through his soft coat. She has especially strong hands, Levi notices.

She sets him back down in the kitchen and begins unloading groceries. "I bought some extra in case you and Erwin want to eat with us." He lets out a fluttery meow. "Do you want to go outside?" She looks at the porch door. Levi walks over and sits at the top of the basement stairs. "All right," she smiles. "Come get me if you need me to let you out."

Levi trots down the steps into the cool darkness. Armin lies sleeping on the sofa. Levi hops up next to him and noses his face. He smiles, but doesn't open his eyes. Levi paws at the cushion beneath them, turns around a half dozen times, and nestles down by Armin's side.

I finally got to bring the cat inside, Armin thinks. He falls back asleep to the sound of Levi purring. Meanwhile, his phone buzzes in his backpack in the kitchen upstairs.

_Armin where are you?_

_Are you ok?_

_Hey what's wrong?_

One missed call, Eren Jaeger. Then two.

**

A burst of laughter from the basement wakes Flegel. He sits with his chair propped against the locked door to the stairs. He grabs his phone from his pocket. Still nothing. No missed calls, no answers from his father, Reiss, or Wald.

When he'd gotten no response by 2 am, he left the shifters locked in the restaurant for an hour while he summoned a ride home. The house was empty and dark. After a minute, he hailed a ride again; the same driver picked him up, confused.

The door of the little room is off its hinges. The shifters sit chatting, passing around screw-top bottles of wine pilfered from the basement storage room. In the center of the room stands a sculpture of a dog made of toothpicks and pieces of Styrofoam cups, the grain of its fur carved into the little white shards. It's actually remarkably good, Flegel thinks. Except that he's going to get slaughtered for it. Oh, when his dad sees this...

No.

He doesn't care. Let his dad get angry, let him yell and scream. That's what he gets for disappearing all night, leaving Flegel alone with all the trafficked staff.

When Flegel came back downstairs during the night, they'd all just glared at him. Mina rolled her eyes, Franz shot him a look that said 'what are you going to do about it?' And Flegel knew they knew: nothing. He locked the door and waited.

He waits. For the first time in his life, he doesn't care what happens. He takes a deep breath. He's been afraid of his father's anger his whole life. Fine, he thinks. Come hell. I'll deal with it.

His phone rings. An unknown number.

"Hello?"

An older man's syrupy voice responds. "Is this Mr... Flegel Reeves?"

"Yes?" He feels himself perspiring through his shirt.

"I'm so dreadfully sorry," the man says. "But we need you to come to Mount Sina Hospital. There's been an accident. We need you to identify one of the victims."

His phone clatters against the floor.

Before he leaves, he unlocks the basement door.

**

The fluorescent lights in the anteroom give off an ominous hum. A fake orchid sits in a little glass vase on a desk by the wall; a screen saver of jellyfish pulses on the monitor. But nothing could make this room comfortable.

Krista shivers in her sorority sweatshirt and denim shorts. She looks up and notices the vent directly above her.

"Miss Reiss, I'm sorry to keep you waiting." A man in a white lab coat pushes open a heavy door. His eyes are small and sunken, as if hiding behind his narrow metal glasses. His crinkled face is wreathed in a froth of white hair, turned slightly orange beneath his nostrils. A scent of smoke competes with the freon smell from the vent when he steps into the room. Krista thinks momentarily of an albino cave-dwelling fish she saw in an aquarium once.

"My name is Krista Lenz," she says defeatedly.

He glances at his clipboard. "Oh, yes. Please accept my apologies, Miss Lenz." He extends a chilly hand. She shakes it. He holds on just slightly too long. "My name is Darius Zackley. Please, follow me."

He pushes the heavy door back open. As she walks through it, she can feel herself being looked up and down. They walk down a dim corridor. Something is not right here, she thinks. The air feels heavy and stale, in contrast to the freezing reception room. She swears she can hear something shuffling behind the series of unmarked metal doors. She finds herself taking shallow breaths in response to the pervasive feeling of gloom.

When they reach a small room at the end of the hall, a figure lies on a metal examination table, covered in white sheets. "I'm afraid the injuries were rather severe," Zackley says, almost more amused than remorseful. He peels back the corner of the sheet, revealing a section of Rod's colorless face.

"That's him." Krista feels a draining sensation in her body.

"I'm so sorry," he drawls. "I know this is...terribly upsetting."

She looks at Zackley again after a moment. Oh, she thinks, this isn't grief. But she realizes anything she says will be construed as such. "Why was I called here to do this?" Her voice is thin and flat.

Zackley looks confused. "You were listed as the emergency contact and next of kin in your father's _dossier_." The way he says 'dossier' makes Krista want to kick him in the shin.

She stands frozen. All of your other children, literally everyone else in your 'real' family, she thinks, and you had the nerve to make _me_ your emergency contact? Amazing. If he weren't already dead, she'd say she wanted to kill him.

"Was there..." she starts nervously, "um, was there anyone else involved in the accident?"

"Yes," Zackley says, "two other gentlemen, about the same age."

Krista swallows hard. "There was no one else?"

"No," Zackley says with a flicker of fascination. "Has someone gone missing?"

"No," Krista says decisively, unnerved.

"I'll have one of my associates speak with you about funeral arrangements." The way he says 'associates' makes Krista want to kick his other shin. "Do you need a few moments to contact other members of your family?" He tilts his head.

"Yes," she sighs. They walk back into the little office at the end of the hall. Cremate his body and dump it the sewer, she thinks. If I have to coordinate this funeral, I hope he at least left me something.

He turns back to her before he leaves the room. "It's just such a dreadful loss." The languor of his voice curls around her like a slimy tentacle. "I was not well acquainted with your father, though we had quite a few mutual friends. He was a tremendous businessman," he says with a look that she's sure he intends to be thoughtful.

He was a tremendous ass, she thinks.

"I'm sure you're aware that your father was in possession of quite a few assets I'd been interested in buying for quite some time." She was not aware. "But naturally," he seems all too proud of himself for catching his gaffe, "Now is not the time. Perhaps you and I can speak about this later. If you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out." He hands her a business card. She's surprised to see it has no hospital emblem. Only a first name and a phone number, in silver type on a black field.

She says nothing, only smiles awkwardly. He nods and leaves the room. A palpable relief descends into the space.

But the reprieve doesn't last long. The thought of being in the same room Rod's vicious ex-wife fills her with dread. Her half-siblings aren't any better, having soaked up their mother's vitriol against her, the insistence that she didn't even exist. Except for one, the only one she's on good terms with; the only one whose phone number she has.

She reaches into her bag to call her half-sister, Freida. Her phone rings in her hand.

"Flegel?"

"Krista, can you get to the restaurant early to open?"

"What? No, I can't. I'm at the hospital," she groans.

"What?"

Her throat tightens and burns. "I had to come identify a body... My dad was in a wreck." She's not sure if she should pretend to be more upset, or use the occasion to release all her pent-up frustration and play it off as grief. Neither option feels right.

"Wait--what?"

Krista burns with irritation. "Flegel, call one of the other managers. Get Ian or Jordan to do it, they'll get overtime."

"They're not answering their phones! I just got called to the hospital, too. They said _my_ dad was in a wreck."

"Oh, god." Krista sinks into a cold metal chair. She realizes he doesn't know. "Flegel...Rod Reiss is my dad," she admits grudgingly. "I'm gonna venture a guess they were traveling together. I'm sorry," she adds.

There's silence on the other end of the line for a moment. Krista feels cold, not just from the oppressive air conditioning. Ymir is missing. At least one, possibly two of Rod's business partners are dead. She has her doubts about how accidental this situation is.

"Oh," Flegel says. "I had no idea."

Krista feels grateful for the lack of resemblance. But then, Flegel's always seemed rather thick-headed.

"What should I do about the restaurant?" Flegel whines.

"Just close it," she says, exasperated.

"What?"

"Flegel. There's a sign in the drawer at the hostess stand. We used it when we were remodeling. Just put it in the window, people will understand," she growls. "I'll put it on the website. It'll be fine."

"What about the shifters?"

"The what?"

Flegel catches himself. "Uh, the shifts. Everyone's work shifts. The staff." He assumed she knew the whole time.

"Give them the day off. I don't care. I'll email the list."

"... Ok."

"I'll call you tomorrow, ok?"

"All right. Bye."

Krista hangs up and clutches her knees to her chest. She flicks through her phone contacts until she reaches Freida. For a moment, as the call dials, she wishes she were the one who was dead.

**

  
The parking lot is still empty when Flegel gets back to the restaurant. Good, he thinks. No early lunchers to turn away. When he opens the door, he hears laughter from the kitchen.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He stands in the door frame with a look of horror.

Massive, towering sandwiches made of every possible ingredient teeter precariously on plates on the center island.

"What do you think this is?" He screams. "An episode of Scooby Doo?"

Mina rolls her eyes. Franz shoots him another look.

"Listen," he groans, "they're not coming back, ok? Reiss and the others...are gone." His voice weakens.

The staff look at each other bemusedly. So it worked, Hannah thinks.

"So just...go, ok? Just get out of here."

Mina scowls. "We don't have anywhere _to_ go!" She puts her hands on her hips. "How _else_ do you think we ended up here?"

"Please don't make us go," Hannah says with a touch more civility. "None of us have sponsors. We've been in the auction for ages. We have cover here. And jobs. If you just let us stay here and pay us...that's a better situation than any of have been in for years."

"Come on," Mina says. "We all know this place. People know us. They recognize us. If totally different people are here next week, that's what's going to look suspicious."

"Yeah," Hannah adds. "You have to let us hide in plain sight. That's the easiest thing."

Franz looks skeptical. "What makes you think he's not just gonna' sell us? Host a private auction party here tomorrow night or some shit like that," he prods.

Flegel looks utterly drained.

"You hate them too, don't you," Hannah offers.

"Man, you look terrible." Franz gives Flegel a sidelong glance and laughs. Then he grins. "Here," he slowly slides a plate in Flegel's direction. "Have a sandwich."

Flegel looks at the absurd column of of food in front of him. He squints. Is that a waffle? He feels totally spineless, toothless, pushed around when he sets foot in the restaurant. His nerves are frayed. And yet, in a small way, it feels nice to be included. He glances at the plate again and begins to laugh so that he doesn't cry.

**

Eren's eyes tear up as he looks at the screen. A text from his mother.

_He's at the house. He said he was sick._

_Ok. Thanks_ , he types back.

"What's the matter?" Mikasa notices Eren's look of consternation.

"Did Armin tell you he was leaving?"

"No," Mikasa says. Eren bristles. "Eren, I'm sure he just forgot. Come on, you saw how tired he was."

Eren rolls his eyes. "Mikasa, this is the guy who _still_ asks Mom if he can come to the house. We've been friends for _nine_ years."

Mikasa crosses her arms.

"This is the guy who says 'sorry' when he bumps into a piece of furniture! He didn't just forget."

Mikasa sighs. "Well, maybe he's just upset."

"I know he's upset, I just didn't think he was upset with _me_."

Mikasa glares at Eren. "So this is about you?"

"What?"

"I just think you should be more worried about how Armin's doing, not whether you think he's mad at _you_ , which he probably _isn't_."

Eren stands stunned for a moment. Mikasa shuts her locker door and walks to their next class. When Eren turns around, he nearly collides with Erwin.

"Eren, are you all right?"

Eren freezes. "Yeah," he lies. "I'm fine."

"Do you need to go home?" Erwin asks. Eren's eyes widen. "Armin talked to me before he left," he clarifies.

"What? Oh...uh, no. I'm ok."

Erwin is wholly unconvinced. "All right, well I can give you and your sister a ride home after practice."

"Oh," Eren stammers. "Yeah. Thanks."

Erwin watches for a moment as Eren wanders down the hall, still in a kind of daze. Eren reaches for his phone. He puts it back in his pocket. He picks it up again. Still nothing from Armin. I should text him again, he thinks. No. He puts the phone back. He takes it back out.

When Erwin steps back into his office, his own phone is blinking. A text from Carla. _Your stuff is ready! You can pick it up tonight._

 _You're the best_ , he taps back.

**

The late afternoon sun throws shapes on the floor when Jean wakes up. He feels self-conscious about all the dust, floating through the columns of light. The small space. The almost monastic nature of it, with only a few pieces of furniture. The serenely sleeping Marco doesn't seem to mind. But then, he's the most anxiety inducing of them all. Real. Right there. In his bed, after so much imagining.

He's itching to draw Marco, from life, not just imagination. But to sketch him while he sleeps is far too creepy. A great way to screw things up early in the game, Jean thinks. He pulls his sketchbook and a pen from the night stand and returns to an ink drawing of two birds. When he feels satisfied with it, he gets up to pour himself a glass of water, then pours one for Marco. He jolts and sloshes some of the water on the floor as he turns around, startled to see Marco awake, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry!" Marco tries not to laugh. He looks around to help, but finds nothing.

"I got it." Jean pulls a rag from the counter and wipes up the water, smearing a little paint thinner into the floor at the same time. He sits back down on the edge of the bed next to Marco and hands him the fuller of the two glasses. They smile at each other awkwardly between sips. Marco's eyes have a sparkly quality to them, Jean thinks. He's never been quite so taken with a muse. Marco sets his glass on the floor and reaches to kiss Jean, his lips pleasantly cool.

The glow is back. The special quality of light. Jean feels transported by it, as though he might melt. Marco rests his head on Jean's shoulder again. "Can I use your phone?" Marco asks.

"What? Oh...yeah, of course." Jean swipes open the screen and hands it to him.

Marco dials the only number he has memorized. Please pick up, he thinks. Jean leans against the wall and Marco slides up next to him, grounded by the touch.

"Hello?" A young woman answers tentatively.

"Lily?"

"Marco!" she shrieks, loud enough for Jean to hear. "Oh my god, Marco," she says, starting to sob, "Are you ok? What happened to you?!"

"I'm fine, I'm ok," he tries as hard as he can to reassure his sister.

"Marco, I'm so, so sorry....we tried to look for you," she cries. "We didn't know what to do. We could't go to the police--"

"Lily," he says softly, "it's ok. It's really ok. I know." He smiles, but Jean notices a tear crawling down the side of his face.

"Oh god," she struggles to get the words out as she cries. "Marco, we were so worried about you. I was so afraid for you. Where are you now? Where did they take you?"

"I'm not far, they only took me to Savannah. Lily, it's ok. It's all going to be ok. I got out."

"Did they hurt you?" She says urgently.

"No," he fibs. Though by now, the bruises have all disappeared. "I was just working."

"Oh, thank god." She collapses with relief. "We just...we had no idea what to do."

"Well, It's probably better if you didn't tell anybody."

She giggles. "We had to make up a story to explain why you left. We told grandma you were WWOOFing."

"What?"

"World-wide opportunites in organic farming. The acronym spells 'woof.'"

Marco heaves with laughter. "That's perfect." He wipes his face with his arm.

"Yeah," Lily says, noticeably calmer. "So, uh, you might have to pretend you've been working on a farm when you get back."

Marco is quiet for a moment. "Uh...yeah...so, I was thinking...I might try to stay in Savannah."

"Oh."

"I mean," he sighs, "I have to see if it'll work out. If I can find a job and a place to stay, and all that."

"Where are you now?"

Marco glances at Jean. "Staying with a friend. I, uh, met some people while I was here. And they got me out."

Lily smiles on the other end of the line. She misses Marco terribly. But the prospect of him having new friends, a new life in a new place, still makes her feel warm. "Can we come visit tomorrow? We can bring you some of your stuff, too."

Jean nods emphatically.

"Yeah!" Marco smiles. "I'll send you the address. Tell everybody else I'm ok?"

"Of course! God, I'm so glad you're all right. Take care, ok? I love you."

"I love you, too."

Marco hangs up the phone and deflates, sinking against the wall. "That was the worst part of it, you know," he says quietly to Jean. "Not being able to tell them where I was. Or talk to them." His eyes tear up. Jean slides his arm between Marco and the wall; Marco leans back into him. "I feel so bad," he gazes at the paint splatters on the cloth covering the floor, "I miss them all so much. I've never really been away from home before. But...I don't really want to go back just yet."

"Yeah," Jean says. "I know what you mean. About being away from home." He clutches Marco closer and kisses his neck. "I don't want you to go back yet, either."

Marco reaches for Jean's hand. "In a way I'm almost glad it was me they took, instead of one of my sisters." "And it's not even because I don't think they could have handled it," Marco admits. "They're really tough girls." Jean kisses the top of his head and realizes how much he likes the way Marco's hair smells. "I don't think _I_ could have handled it. If anything happened to them." He lays back down.

Jean lays down next to him. He slides one arm underneath Marco's shoulders and drapes the other across his chest. "I'm sorry all this happened to you."

"It's not the worst thing in the world." Marco grins. "If it hadn't, I wouldn't have met you." He pulls Jean on top of him for another kiss. Jean feels his body flush with heat; Marco feels Jean hardening and grips his waist tighter. Then, he starts to chuckle.

"What?" Jean looks at him, confused.

"Nothing. Sorry."

"Aw, come on, what is it?"

Marco snorts another little laugh. "No, it's _so_ dumb."

" _Tell me_ ," Jean gives Marco's shoulders a gentle shake.

"Oh my god," Marco looks toward the wall. "Uh...I was just gonna say...I haven't ridden a horse in ages."

Jean rolls his eyes. But even he can't help laughing a little.

"Sorry," Marco mutters. "I bet you get that all the time."

I'm flattered you think I have that much sex, Jean thinks. He shakes his head. "Almost no one knows I'm a shifter, much less a horse."

"Really?" Marco gives a wily grin. "Nobody sees you horse around on the weekends?"

Jean lays his forehead on Marco's chest.

"Sorry, sorry!"

When Jean looks back up, he's smiling. Only one thing to do about this, he thinks. He kisses Marco again, letting his weight sink into him.

**

Eren sulks all through practice. He sulks in the back of Erwin's car. When he walks in the door of his house, he's still sulking.

Levi the cat sits wrapped around the porcelain teapot, a little living tea cozy. Erwin laughs.

Carla smiles. "We found another job for Levi."

Eren slumps down at the table and reaches his hand out. Levi noses it. When Carla sees Levi distracted, she nods Erwin over to her workshop. She lifts open the flap of a cardboard box tucked away in the corner.

"Thank you," Erwin says. "These are beautiful."

"My pleasure."

Erwin pulls a check from his wallet and hands it to Carla. He carries the box discreetly to the car from the door leading outside form the workshop.

Carla walks with him back into the kitchen. "By the way, you and Levi are welcome to join us for dinner."

"That's kind of you, but I think we'd better be going home."

Levi climbs into Erwin's arms and nuzzles his face.

They've just pulled out of the driveway when the next cycle begins. Levi jumps into the backseat and dives under the blanket. "Motherfucker," he mutters as soon as his vocal chords emerge.

"Oh, how I missed the sound of your voice," Erwin says, glancing in the rear view mirror.

Levi scowls. "Do you have my clothes?"

Erwin's face falls. "Shit. Sorry, Levi, I put them in the trunk."

Levi lays his head back against the seat and wraps himself in the blanket. "Well just don't let anyone see me when we get out of the car."

"Ok," Erwin says gently, happy to see Levi's brooding face again.

Erwin switches off the motion-sensitive light over the driveway when they get home. He opens the trunk and sets Levi's clothes across the top of the cardboard box to carry them inside. He shuts the door behind them.

"What's in the box?" Levi asks, looking slightly wraith-like with the dark blanked draped around him like a robe.

Erwin smiles. He lays the clothes neatly over a chair and opens the box. "These are for you."

Levi reaches inside and pulls out an arrangement of Carla's hand-painted silk flowers. He sees three more inside the box, each different.

"I was thinking we could take these to the cemetery on Saturday," Erwin says.

Levi sets the flowing arrangement down and walks over to Erwin, letting the blanket fall to his feet. He wraps his arms around Erwin's torso, speechless. The light coming off of him is strong enough that even Erwin feels it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you told me six weeks ago that I was about to write a sixty-thousand-plus word fanfic in a frenzy of sudden inspiration, I would have laughed in your face, ha ha ha! But here we are, and I feel like this thing has taken on a life of its own. That said, I have no plans to abandon it, though I think I did myself no favors posting so often last month. I have no idea how many chapters it will take me to finish the story I have in mind. Maybe a dozen, maybe thirty? Anyways, if you've read this far, thank you for reading this far! If you've left me a comment, or a kudo, or a bookmark, or subscribed, thank you massively!
> 
> In the meantime I'm striving to attain an ideal balance of fluff and smut and angst and paranormal weirdness that all serves the main Eruri plot line in some way. Ideas and feedback are still much appreciated. Cheers!


	25. Wolf at the door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi go grocery shopping. They end up bringing home more than just groceries.

Levi doesn't cry. He just lets himself melt into Erwin. Erwin kisses the top of his head, his spine alive with a wild vibrance, but no transition occurs. Erwin picks Levi up and sets him on the bed. When he lets go, he's not sure anyone's ever looked at him the way Levi looks at him now, with a mixture of relief and awe, like a patient cured by faith from something deadly. Levi reaches for Erwin's neck and kisses the side of his face.

"Thank you."

It's all he needs to say.

Erwin holds his waist for a moment. Levi rests his forehead to Erwin's collarbone. He takes a few deep breaths. He slides off the edge of the bed, pulls on Erwin's sweatshirt, and opens the box again.

He knows exactly which will go to whom. The azaleas for Josephine. The exuberant shock of orange lilies for Isabel. Peonies for Kuchel. And for Farlan, the understated garland of oak leaves and sage; one Levi's sure he would have picked himself. "These are perfect," Levi whispers. He runs his thumb over the fabric. When he looks up close, he can just discern Carla's brush strokes. "I almost hate to put them outside."

Erwin walks over and wraps his arms around Levi as he examines the details. "She said they were treated with a special coating," he explains, "so they'll hold up for a long time."

Levi leans back into Erwin. "Are you all right?" Erwin asks.

Levi looks up at him. "What do you think?" He smirks.

Erwin smiles. "You just seem...different."

Levi relaxes a little. "Yeah." He turns to face Erwin. "I feel different." He climbs back onto the bed; Erwin lays down on his side next to him. "It doesn't hurt lately, you know." Levi rolls onto his back and stretches his arms over his head. "I still can't quite predict it. Or control it. But the last few times...it hasn't hurt at all." He breathes a sigh of deep relief. When he opens his eyes, he looks at the ceiling. She said being around you would help, Levi thinks. But she didn't say how quickly. When he shuts them again, Erwin kisses them. He clutches Levi to him, one hand in his hair, the other in the warm spot underneath the hood of the sweatshirt.

"Are you hungry?" he asks after a minute.

"Yeah, actually."

**

Armin sits in the basement, reading, when Eren walks in. "Hey," Eren says tentatively. "You doing ok?"

Armin looks at him, then at his book for a second, then back at him. "A little better." He hesitates to say 'good.'

Awkward silence descends as Eren sits down. His own fatigue is showing. Armin notices a little darkness under his eyes.

"I brought you the homework," Eren offers. He unzips his backpack and pulls out a few sheets of paper with slightly mangled edges.

"Thanks." Armin tucks them into the back cover of his book.

Eren sinks into the couch and looks at the floor. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming here?" He finally asks.

Armin catches himself. He's about to apologize. He feels himself stiffen. "I don't know, Eren. I just...felt bad and needed to leave." He catches himself again. He's about to play the pity card. He holds off.

"So you came here?" Eren tries to sound curious and not antagonistic.

Armin sighs. "Mom's car was in the driveway, so I didn't go in."

"Oh," Eren says sheepishly. "...I just wish you would have told me where you were. Or just texted me back." Armin tries to quell a little surge of irritation. "Like, I didn't hear from you all day, so I figured something was wrong--"

"Yeah, Eren," Armin cuts in. "Something _was_ wrong. Last night was a disaster, and I needed to sleep. And just...be alone for a while. So I came here and slept. That's all."

Eren fidgets. He looks at Armin squeamishly. "...You couldn't even text me back?" He asks weakly.

"Eren. I _just_ woke up, like, twenty minutes ago! Ok? Give me a break." He's been awake for an hour. He just didn't want to talk. He rubs his face, then rests it in his hands. "I just...do you always have to know what I'm doing?"

"What? Oh." Eren retracts. "No. It sounds creepy when you put it like that. Sorry--"

"I don't mean it that way, but...ugh, you know what I mean, right?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I was just worried about you." Eren looks uneasily at Armin. "Should I go?" He stands up.

"No, it's ok. You can stay."

Eren squints. "Do you really want me to stay, or do you just not want to tell me to leave?"

Armin glares at Eren. A faint smile creeps across his face. "Oh my god. Sit down."

Eren sits obediently. Armin scoots over and sits in his lap.

"Looks like I'm staying," Eren says with a satisfied grin.

"Yep." Armin reaches for his book and leans back into Eren.

Eren rests his chin on Armin's shoulder again and glances at the book. "Armin. That reading's not due until Monday." Eren tightens the grip of his arms around Armin's waist.

Armin rolls his eyes. "Ok, see? This is why I need some time to myself, because otherwise I would never get anything done."

Eren kisses Armin's cheek. "Yeah, but...if you didn't have me around, all you'd ever do is sleep and work."

Armin scoffs. Eren knows him well. At times, it drives him crazy.

"Aw, come on," Eren goads. "You know it's true."

Armin tilts his head back and groans. He lets the book slide onto the carpet. Eren takes advantage of Armin's exposed neck. He slides his hand up Armin's untucked shirt. Armin swats it away.

"What?"

"That tickles."

"What, that?" Eren does it again.

"Yes!" Armin grabs his wrist.

Eren gives Armin a skeptical look. "You are not _that_ ticklish."

"Well, I guess I am tonight."

Eren tries his other hand. Armin grabs it too. He looks at Eren. "Are we really going to do this?"

Eren grins his shit-eating grin. Armin manages to wrangle himself out of Eren's grip and pin Eren to the couch, his wrists above his head. Armin's positive Eren could get up if he wanted to. He doesn't want to. "I told you you were staying," Armin says dryly. Eren just smiles. You like being straddled, don't you, Armin thinks. He leans down to kiss Eren. It feels good, Armin admits to himself, after such a draining day. He relaxes his grip on Eren a little. Eren begins to laugh.

"Oh, what?" Armin asks.

"It's your hair."

Armin grins an evil grin. "Oh, _what's_ that now? Does it tickle?" He grabs Eren again. This time Eren really is trying to get up. Armin rubs his head all over Eren's face and neck. Eren lets out a little shriek when they hear the door to the basement open. They sit bolt upright and smooth out their tousled hair.

"Boys, let's go ahead and eat," Carla says, peering down from the stairs. "Eren, your dad's gonna' be home late, so he said not to wait." They nod. "Armin, sweetheart, are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah," he says. "A lot better." Armin grins and Eren knows he means it.

"Good," she smiles.

As soon as she disappears up the stairs, Eren pulls Armin to him again for another kiss.

**

"Aw, shit," Erwin looks in the refrigerator. He opens the freezer. "I forgot to get groceries. I don't have anything for you to eat."

"What were _you_ going to eat?" Levi takes the kettle off the stove.

Erwin pulls a frost-covered box from the freezer. Levi scowls. Mushroom burgers. "Had a feeling you probably don't want one," Erwin says. He looks back in the refrigerator.

"Mm...I'll pass." Levi pours the boiling water into the French press. "You're so healthy it's disgusting."

Erwin chuckles. "That's a little rich coming from a guy who eats everything raw." Erwin rifles through a few plastic containers of leftovers. "I gotta' go to the store. You wanna come?"

Levi looks concernedly at the tea.

"Put it in a thermos," Erwin offers.

Levi is satisfied with this. He slips his clothes back on and replaces the blanket in the back seat of the car. He snickers.

"What?" Erwin starts the car.

"Just thinking. Blankets, back seats of cars..." He shrugs. He takes a sip of tea.

Erwin gives him an amused grin. They drive quietly for a moment. Levi looks suddenly grave.

"Did you make a list?"

"No."

Levi glares at him. His blood pressure spikes. "Then how do you know you're not going to forget something?"

Erwin reaches a stoplight. He glances at Levi. "I'm sure between the two of us we have one fully functioning brain. We'll remember what's in the kitchen." Erwin smiles. "Besides, your list is just 'as much fish as we can carry.'"

Levi pouts. The truth hurts.

**

Levi freezes when they reach the seafood counter. The glistening slabs of fish glow against the ice. His eyes widen. His palms sweat. Erwin grins at Levi's reaction and clasps a hand around his shoulder.

"What should we get?" Erwin asks.

Levi's eyes remain like saucers. "You pick." Erwin looks confused. Levi holds out a hand. "Trust me," he says. "This is so I don't bring you to financial ruin."

"Ok," Erwin laughs. "If you say so." Erwin catches the clerk's attention and orders. Levi still stares into the case, filled with primordial greed. "Levi?" Erwin's voice breaks the trance. Levi jolts slightly. "You ready?"

"What? Oh. Yeah. Right."

The store isn't terribly crowded. They've missed the after-work rush. Still, Erwin swears he can feel eyes on them.

"Trust me," is Levi's refrain as they sweep through the aisles. Dish soap, contact solution, paper towels, shaving cream. All the things Erwin forgets, Levi remembers. Toward the register, Levi picks up a jar of birdseed and contemplates it.

Erwin gently presses his arm down to put it back. "Please," he whispers. "Just give them a fighting chance."

"Tch." Levi rolls his eyes and replaces the jar. "I'm doing this for you," he says smugly.

Levi pulls the groceries out of the basket and lays them on the conveyor. Erwin pulls a colorful bromeliad from the floral display and adds it to the pile.

"What's that for?"

Erwin shrugs. "Just for the house."

"Those are fatal to cats," Levi says flatly.

Erwin's eyes widen with remorse. "Oh my god, I had no idea." He reaches for the plant.

"I'm just kidding," Levi grins wickedly.

Erwin deflates a little and gives Levi a sidelong glance. "Well, please warn me in the future if I actually am about to bring home something that could kill you." He kisses the top of of Levi's head. Levi realizes he's never had this done to him in public.

Levi catches a glimpse of Erwin's driver's licence photo when he opens his wallet to pay. He didn't think anyone could manage to make Erwin look bad, but put nothing past the Georgia Department of Driver Services. Unspeakable wrongs have been done to you, Levi thinks.

Erwin sets the bags in the floor of the backseat. He reaches for Levi before they get in the car, and kisses him again. "I'm glad you came with me," he says.

"So you wouldn't forget half the things you needed?"

"Well...yeah," Erwin admits. "That certainly helps. Mostly it's just nice to have you around, you know." He smiles. Levi's stance softens a little. "I find these kinds of things a lot more enjoyable with company."

Levi sinks into the passenger seat, glad to be company.

**

Levi slices the fish with the precision of a surgeon. He lays the perfect strips across a pile of fresh raw spinach. Erwin chuckles.

"What?"

"I should have gotten you some pickled ginger and some of that fake grass."

Levi glances at Erwin.

Erwin shrugs. "Context is everything, I guess."

Levi rolls his eyes. "You ate half a sashimi boat this weekend, if I recall."

That was about seventy percent you, Erwin thinks, but sure. "I did. I enjoyed it. I'm just not sure I could eat it every day."

"Well, you're clearly not a cat," Levi smirks. "Enjoy your...fungus."

"I fully intend to." Erwin lays a few slices of avocado across the patties and reaches for a jar of Petra's homemade aïoli.

Levi leans against the counter and crosses his arms. "I'm trying to decide what you would be. If you were a shifter." He considers Erwin for a moment. He smiles. "Maybe a golden retriever."

Erwin's face lights up."I had goldens growing up!"

Figures, Levi thinks.

Erwin looks nostalgic. "I miss those dogs. They were some really great dogs." He sighs and sits down at the table.

"There's still a lot I don't know about you." Levi joins him. "But I do know, that's _definitely_ what you would be."

Erwin looks immensely pleased by this. As they eat he regales a smiling Levi with a few stories of the 'golden boys,' the two brother puppies he and his sister had as kids, until the phone rings.

Levi picks up the buzzing handset. "Golden Isles Animal Clinic," he reads off the caller ID.

"I should pick that up." Erwin takes the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Mr. Smith? This is Bert from the clinic."

Erwin smiles. You don't have to qualify it, he thinks; you're the only Bert I know.

"Is now a good time?" Bert's voice is perpetually nervous.

"Sure. What's going on?"

"Uh, I have a client here who wants to talk to you. She says she needs your help getting in touch with someone."

Erwin looks confused. "I'm sorry, who?"

"Uh, her name is Ymir."

Erwin raises an eyebrow. "Ok...Put her on." There's a little shuffling on the other end of the line. Levi grabs the other handset from the living room and listens in.

"Hi, Erwin." The air feels strange in the room. Bizarre emanations come from the phones. "Hi, Levi," the smoky voice says. Levi would be shocked she could tell he was listening, if not for the residual current coming through the line on Ymir's part. For an instant he wonders exactly what she can sense coming from him on the other end of the line. "Erwin, Levi might have told you a little bit about me. We used to...work together." Erwin and Levi look at each other. "I really do hate to bother you," she says, "but I'm trying to get in touch with Krista Lenz."

"My old student?"

"Yes," Ymir drawls. "I know, it's a bit of a stretch. But you were the only one we could think of who knows her."

Erwin pauses. "We might have a few mutual friends online, but I'd have to check. It might be a while before she answers me."

"Do you need a place to stay?" Levi asks flatly.

Ymir gives a sinister chuckle. "Oh, _I'm_ fine. It's the dog, really." Levi makes a hand puppet like a little howling wolf. Erwin gets it. "She needs a place to sleep for a night or two. After that... we'll be on our way." Levi and Erwin look at each other again. Levi shrugs.

**

"You sure you're all right with this?" Erwin asks as they get back into the car for what seems like the dozenth time.

"It's better if she stays with us," Levi says dryly. "I wouldn't subject anyone else to having Ymir as a guest."

"Well that's compassionate of you," Erwin laughs.

"I'm not being altruistic, I want to pick her brain before she skips out of here forever. It's ironic, you know. She's been stuck in the auction for years, even though she's so powerful. It's probably _because_ she's so powerful. I mean, truth be told, she's a real asshole. She can be a real smooth talker when she wants to be. But I'm not sure I'd call us friends."

"All right, then," Erwin says, "I'll keep my expectations appropriately low."

When they arrive at the clinic, a man walks out with a supremely disgruntled cat in a plastic cone. Probably not a shifter, Erwin thinks. Bert leads them to an examination room at the end of the hall. He knocks on the door and slowly pushes it open.

Erwin stands stunned, speechless. Levi is not so polite.

"Oh come on, could you _be_ any more obvious? Ymir, we can't put you in the car like this!"

The wolf stares up at him with a singular yellow eye, the other side of her face a complicated lattice of sutures.

"Jesus, you look like something out of a horror movie. Do you have anything to wear?"

She lets out a low growl and swishes her tail against a shopping bag on the floor.

"All right, well change and meet us in the waiting room."

A minute later, a tall woman in a flannel shirt and dark jeans walks in. She crosses her arms. "Nice to see you, too," she smirks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for bearing with me as this story slowly creeps along! I've been traveling and a little sick lately. Hoping to update this weekend.


	26. Circularity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dialogue-heavy chapter. Ymir and Levi discuss the mechanism of shapeshifting.

They stare at each other for a moment, wearing smug grins. But there's something hanging over Ymir, a kind of smoky darkness obscuring her otherwise crystalline luminosity. Exhaustion.

Levi shakes his head and flashes a wicked smile. "I can't believe you got out. Well. Most of you, anyway."

Ymir cackles. "Yeah. Not the cleanest job I've done." She throws her hands up. "But here we are."

"I see you got rid of your quick-change get up." Levi refers to the the long, thin dress.

"Hah. Far from the worst thing I've ever had to wear. You know, it really only came in useful once." An evil smile spreads across her face. "Right before I finally got to attack."

Levi laughs with a cruelty Erwin finds slightly chilling.

Ymir's expression warms. She turns to Erwin and extends her hand. "Erwin. Good to meet you properly. You're a real saint for picking me up."

Erwin's not quite sure how to respond. He just shakes her hand. She has a remarkable grip.

"So what happened?" Levi makes a circular motion around the side of his face. They make their way to the parking lot.

Ymir sighs, her posture more contracted than normal. "You were right about the blanks," she says bitterly. "The discharge went up through my eye, got part of my skull. They said if the angle of the shot had been any different, it would have gotten into my brain. So. I guess I have one thing to be thankful for," she seethes as she gets into the back seat. "How did you even know about that, by the way? With the blanks?"

Levi shrugs. "Stories. There's a kind of psychological torture game you can play with them. You shoot at people, and they don't know whether the bullets are real."

Deplorable things, Erwin thinks. It should disturb him more, he thinks, that his two passengers have both killed other people. He remembers his conversation with Levi about giving. What does it do for him, he wonders, to help? To feel like he's on the right side of a secret battle that, until a few weeks ago, he never knew existed?

"Hope you don't mind me asking, but why exactly are you trying to get in touch with Krista?" Erwin turns off the highway onto a dark side-street.

"Well," Ymir says, her voice starting to sound strained from fatigue, "I didn't exactly...grow up around humans the way Levi did." She stretches her arms out across the edge of the seat and crosses her legs. "I'm 'not from around these parts,' as they say. So... I'm only giving this 'sponsor' thing one shot. If it works out, well, good for me. Guess I'll be around for a while. If not, I'm out of here." Her eyes darken. She laughs dryly. "I never had much patience for humans, you know. Every now and then you meet a good one," she meets Erwin's gaze in the rear view mirror. "But not enough to make it worth trying to pretend to be one."

"If you go back, will you be able to hunt?" Levi asks skeptically.

Ymir looks despondent. The first crack Levi's ever seen in her wickedly stoic façade. "That's part of why I'm giving 'civilization' one last chance. Otherwise...you know I'd rather starve in the wilderness than be a lab rat again. At least that's a noble death." She shuts her eyes and tilts her head back. "But it's complicated," she continues. "Because one of the buyers I killed was Krista's dad."

Erwin shoots Levi an uneasy glance.

"Ymir, what the fuck?" Levi turns around.

"Oh, they're estranged." Ymir waves her hand flippantly. "It doesn't mean she's all right with what I did, but she just about hates him as much as I do. She was a foster kid for years, you know. He abandoned her. Maybe you know about that, Erwin."

"I didn't," he says. He'd never known there was anything unusual in the Lenz household. But then, keeping secrets and keeping up appearances have always been something of a regional sport.

"Yeah," Ymir pontificates, "Reiss had an affair, and Krista was the result. Of course, his wife lost her shit. Fast forward twenty two years, the wife divorces him, he starts taking an interest in Krista again." Ymir's speech is soaked in righteous venom. "Of course, she wants nothing to do with it. So what does he do? He goes and buys the restaurant she manages."

"Tch." Levi scowls at the dark road in front of them. "This is Uri's cousin, by the way," he says to Erwin. "Uri always thought Rod was a piece of shit. He probably doesn't even know he has another niece. Not that he ever saw much of Rod's other kids, anyway. I certainly never knew about her."

As much as Levi detests Kenny, he seems to a have casual, aloof respect for Uri, Erwin notices.

"My problem now is I don't know what Krista knows. She still might not know what I am."

"Oh, that's gonna hit her like a brick," Levi says, "On the tail of all this shit going on with her father."

"Yeah. I'm not thrilled about it," Ymir sighs. "But I'd almost prefer she didn't know. I'd rather be the one to tell her about all this than anyone at the restaurant."

"She didn't know about the staff?" Erwin asks.

"She knew something was wrong with them being there. But she didn't know what." Ymir squints. "Her managerial duties...shifted a little when her father bought the place."

Levi laughs. "So what are you going to tell her? 'Hi Krista! I killed your dad and I'm actually a wolf! I figured since we both hated him, maybe you want to adopt me?'"

He expects a retort. It doesn't come. Ymir stares at the ceiling of the car. "Yeah. Something like that," she whispers after a moment.

"Is there anyone looking for you?" Erwin wonders whether he should have thought this decision through more carefully.

"Not yet," Ymir says. "I'm falsely registered as belonging to the lab in Atlanta. Lots of money passed under the table to make that happen. So nobody on the federal end is coming. The auction will pick up on it eventually. That I'm missing. But as far as I can tell, none of them know that Reiss had another daughter. And Reiss's other kids don't know about the auction." Erwin seems satisfied with this. "You know," Ymir continues, "that's part of why his wife left him. The auction. He was going to these parties, she couldn't figure out where. Money was missing. I'm sure she thought he was having another affair." She snorts. "I guess, in a way, he was."

They pull into the dark driveway, the motion-sensitive light disabled from Levi's naked arrival earlier in the evening.

**

Erwin types a quick message. Krista Lenz, 24 mutual friends.

_Hi Krista,_  
_I wouldn't ordinarily get in touch with you like this, but I'm with a woman named Ymir who says she's been trying to reach you. She's a friend of my partner Levi's. Let me know if I can put you in touch with her--or if this is someone who shouldn't be in contact with you. Hope you're doing well._  
_Erwin_

Erwin shuts his laptop, yawns, and stretches.

"Thank you," Ymir says. She and Levi each hold a mug of valerian tea.

"Happy to do it," Erwin says. "All right. I'll leave y'all to it. I gotta' get some sleep."

Ymir nods. Levi follows him into the bedroom. "Are you ok?" Levi asks.

"Yeah," Erwin smiles. "Just tired. We ran a longer course today."

Levi sits next to him on the bed, wraps his arms around his torso and leans his head against him. Levi seems unusually clingy, Erwin thinks. He rubs Levi's back. Levi sighs.

"What is it?"

"You're doing both of us a real favor, you know." He squeezes Erwin tighter.

"I don't mind, Levi," Erwin says softly. "As long as the two of you are safe."

"There's no telling what the auction would do to her if they found her." His grip weakens. "They wouldn't use her as a scout, that's for sure." His voice is grim. He sits back up.

"Do you think I should be worried?" Erwin asks.

Levi shakes his head. "I don't think anyone would know to come here. Or to Krista's." He looks at Erwin, then at the floor. "People like us can't survive without people like you, you know."

"You say that like it only goes one way," Erwin says. He ruffles Levi's hair. Levi gives him a longing look. He leans in to kiss Erwin.

"Don't stay up all night." Erwin smiles. "Carla still needs your help tomorrow."

Levi smiles softly as he shuts the bedroom door.

**

"You seem better," Ymir says, sipping her tea.

"I _feel_ better." Levi sits back down across from her on the couch.

"You always sit there, don't you?" Ymir asks.

"Usually. Why?"

She shuts her eyes for a second. "There's an underground stream beneath the house." She opens them. "There's an energy line that crosses through the point where you're sitting."

"Huh. I thought it felt different."

"Don't tell me you didn't even dowse Erwin's house for him."

"Tch. I spent most of my time just trying to get _in_ the house."

"Well, just don't let him sit there. You know those lines are noxious to humans. But it'll have a good effect on you."

"Everything in this house seems to have a good effect on me." Levi relaxes into the cushions. "I've only been here a couple of weeks and I'm already back to where I was a few years ago, in terms of the pain." He looks curiously at Ymir. "Why is that?"

She grins. Not the usual wily, conniving grin. Just a grin. "Could be any number of things. The resonance has a lot to do with it."

Levi is confused. He's inescapably drawn to Erwin. But this isn't the first time he's felt affection toward someone.

"That's what drew you here, isn't it?" Ymir says.

Levi squints. "I'm pretty sure it was some bad singing."

Ymir rolls her eyes. "Well, surely there was something that compelled you to stay."

"Besides, food, water, shelter, and a man a who looks like a blonde god?"

Ymir laughs. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah," Levi smiles.

"He's not like the others, is he."

Levi just looks at her. "What does it mean? The resonance."

She shrugs. "There are a lot of theories. You have to observe it on your own. If it means anything, then you have to decide that for yourself."

"Have you ever had it?" Levi reaches for his mug.

"Not with a single individual." She looks nostalgic. "There's something similar that happened among my tribe. But it's a little different. Kind of like a group mentality."

"What happened to them?"

"We were found," Ymir says. "We'd been on our own for generations, you know. Farther and farther north." She looks forlornly at the table, too tired to feel the anger that's been raging through her for years. "They have all this technology now. Makes it harder to hide. Thermal imaging, infrared cameras, that kind of thing. It was Zackley that found us."

Levi goes cold, the color drains from his face. "Auction Zackley?" He pictures the wan, wispy man; a chief organizer of the auctions in Atlanta and Savannah.

Ymir nods slowly. "About a year or two before I met you. He wanted some new...inventory," she sneers. "So he set up an expedition."

"They think they own everything." Levi gazes into the dark surface of his tea.

Ymir's expression darkens. "You know what I really regret?"

"What?"

"I had my teeth around Reiss's neck before he fired," she says with a low hiss. "I was _this_ close to killing him myself." She holds her thumb and index finger a hair's width apart. "Jean had to finish him off," she sighs. "I wanted to watch him die." She lays back against the armrest of the couch. "Anyways, we were all sold off. About half of us to northern auctions. Toronto. Chicago. The rest of us he brought back here. There might be a few of us in New Orleans, maybe Greenville. Whoever comes to Savannah to buy."

Levi looks disgusted. "Are there any other tribes left?"

"Probably," Ymir says. "But who knows how many. We knew a few others. We crossed paths with a few others every now and then. Sometimes, every few years, we'd have a gathering. God, I hope they haven't been found."

"You know, I never knew there were wild shifters until I met you."

"Good," she says. "Then we did our job right." She laughs dryly. "We'd still go into society from time to time. Small towns on the edges on the big national parks, mostly. We had to take our human forms sometimes. So we'd study humans. We had clothes and things stockpiled in various places. The elders said we should study humans to learn about ourselves."

"Tch. What did you learn?"

"People are fucked up, mostly."

Levi laughs.

"People decide to be happy," she continues. "It has almost nothing to do with where they actually are and everything to do with what they decide to think about it."

"I've met plenty of rich fucks in the cities that prove that point."

Ymir stretches and notices the full moon through the window. "You know what else is good for you? Moonlight."

**

Small waves unfurl gently against the dark shoreline. The moon outlines their silhouettes in silver.

"Ymir...how did you become stable?" Levi asks over the constant breeze off the ocean.

She considers the dark water. "I was little," she said. "I was lucky. I had both my parents and my pack. It didn't take long."

They walk with the cuffs of their jeans rolled up. Two pairs of shoes lie waiting for them at the edge of the boardwalk leading back to the neighborhood.

"But not everyone in my pack was wild. Or even a wolf," she adds. "We picked up runaways. People from the border towns. I'd say maybe a third of us were runaways that joined us over the years. They were dogs, mainly. The pack mentality suited them."

"What did they do?" Levi tries to conceal the urgency in his voice.

"There wasn't much _to_ do, really," she shrugs. "They just...lived with us. We taught them what we knew. Over time, they got better."

"I figured as much," Levi says. A stronger breeze ripples through the tall grass in the dunes. "It always just took time for me."

"Yeah. Give it time," she says. "But Levi, you have something a lot of people never get, human or shifter." She grins. "When I say, 'take advantage of Erwin,' I mean it."

Levi laughs. Ymir turns to him. "What do you notice, when you look at a stable shifter?" she asks.

"I've never met that many. A few more in the last month. Or at least, those kids that were close, anyways."

"Ok, sure," she concedes. "But they must seem different."

Levi ponders this for a minute. "For one, they're bright. Not so noisy." He looks up at the stars over the bay. "One girl I met...she was fully stable. It was like looking at a candle."

"Yes," Ymir smiles. "That's a good way to put it. Why? What about her was...candle-like?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Her current. How was it literally different?"

Levi squints. "It was wider. Less like a line, more like..."

"A plane?" Ymir's voice brightens with excitement.

"Yeah. Exactly."

Ymir stops walking and looks at Levi. "That's stability," she says. "You expand the line into space, and it becomes a plane. When you shift...does it sometimes feel like falling?"

"Yes," Levi says. "Like a collapse."

"Precisely," Ymir says. "When you're unstable, you're just a line. You fall over! Just like that!" She flicks his shoulder. "But when you become stable, there's a width to you. It protects you." She puts her hands on Levi's shoulders. "Watch what happens when you tune into the resonance with Erwin," she says gravely. "That will accelerate the stability even more." Her voice softens. "It expands you. It breaks you open."

"How long does it take?" He finds himself walking a narrow line between hope and despair.

"Who knows?" She drops her hands back by her sides and resumes the walk. "Just enjoy the process." Two owls call to each other across the park in the distance. "Oh," she says suddenly. "There's an energy well near here."

They find a narrow path through the dunes that leads deep into the state park. The moon is just bright enough for them to see. Ymir doesn't seem to need the light, Levi thinks.

"I wouldn't worry too much, if I were you," she tells him as they push through the brush. "Think about it this way. You know how the resonance expands you?" She turns back toward him in the dark. "Well, sometimes it's the people who have been the most shut down that have the greatest capacity to break open."

They walk quietly for a minute. Levi considers her words. "Is that why you're still stable? Even after all this shit with the auction?"

"Maybe," she smiles.

Levi recognizes their portion of the trail. Ymir turns off of it and walks a few paces into the trees.

"Ah," she says. "Of course. It's a spring." She sits on a fallen log by its edge. Levi sits next to her.

"I hid out here for a while," Levi says. "When things were at their worst."

She takes a deep breath and soaks in the atmosphere. "I think it helped you. Though you might not have been able to sense it."

He shakes his head. "I felt like someone stuck a fork in a toaster."

She laughs. "Yeah. It can happen." She looks up at the sky. "So tell me more about candle girl. What else did you notice?"

"Hm...a kind of...circularity, I guess."

Ymir grins a wide grin. "That's it," she says. "That's the next phase."

"What?"

"Ah, the mysteries of the current," she says. "You know all about verticality and horizontality, right? I mean, every shifter does. Maybe a few humans. But _circularity_...well, I'll put it this way. Let's say you've just become stable. Then the shift is less like collapsing and more like folding a piece of paper, right?"

"I guess," Levi looks confused.

"Ok. What happens if you take a plane and rotate it?"

"You get a disc. Then a sphere."

"That's why you perceive a circular nature when you look at someone who's been stable for a long time."

"Well, you and her are the only ones I know who have been stable that long."

"Ok, then. What do you see when you tune into me?"

Levi shuts his eyes. The spring seems to have a current of its own, making everything brighter.

"Just a current," he says with a touch of frustration. "It's strong, there's no noise, but that's all."

"Look harder," she says. "You have to go one level up. Right now you're just looking at the energy, you're not looking at the archetype."

He looks at her confusedly.

"Oh come on, did the witch you grew up with never explain this to you?"

"She was an _occultist_ ," Levi says defensively.

"Don't act like you don't know what she was," Ymir laughs. "Your mother too, from what I can guess." Levi sighs. "All right," she continues. "You see the energy just fine, that's all well and good. But what's _behind_ it? What _produces_ it? On the level of information. Behind the energetic, behind the physical. Watch for it."

They sit in silence. Levi doesn't see it. He doesn't feel it. He just knows it.

"A spiral...a kind of vortex."

"Yes," she says with supreme satisfaction. "So you have a disc. A rotating circle. What happens when you move it forward, in space and time?"

"You get a vortex," Levi grins.

"You see," Ymir says quietly, "this is where I am. This is what I'm trying to master." She holds up her hand. She shuts her eyes. A fine layer of fur appears over her skin. Claws emerge from the tips of her fingers. When she opens her eyes, even in the faint moonlight, Levi can see that they are yellow. "When you have circularity," she says, "you don't collapse. Fully or partially...as _sometimes happens_." She gives him a knowing look. Levi blushes. "And you don't just fold. The shift becomes a rotation. It's like turning a wheel." She closes her eyes again and her hand becomes human. "And part of what's so very interesting about that, is that you don't have to make a complete turn. There are partial rotations." She looks at Levi. "It becomes under your control. The degrees to which you want to shift."

"Is this what they study in the labs?"

Ymir laughs bitterly. "No. And they never will." She cups her hands and takes a drink from the cool spring. Levi senses the slightly sparkly effect of the water. He kneels down next to her and drinks some, too. "You can't study something that isn't physical with physical tools. I mean, of course the shift is physical. It becomes physical, but it doesn't start that way. It has its origins on the level on information, the level of the archetype. And they have no means of perceiving that. It's like trying to pick up radio waves when you don't even have a fucking radio. So they just fuck around with chemicals, maybe some hypnosis. And the elders are taking their secrets with them to the grave. Or the cremation chamber, anyway."

Levi shudders. Ymir relaxes a little.

"Someone like your grandma probably knows more about people like us than anyone in the labs. She probably knew more than she thought she knew." Levi looks nostalgic. Ymir's voice teems with a fascinated excitement. "Humans have vortices, too, you know. You make a human mediate long enough, and they'll perceive a vortex. But the difference for them is that the vortex only goes one way." She takes another drink. "It takes them deeper into the levels of information and archetypes. They might get some insights from it. Intuit things. But for us," she looks at Levi, "It goes _two_ ways. It also pulls things _out_ of the levels of information. It draws the archetype outward, into the physical."

"I'm not sure we ever got that far in our investigations," Levi sighs.

"These are the kinds of things we used to study, you know. In the wild. We had all kinds of time to meditate on this. I miss talking about it."

"Well no wonder," Levi says. "I don't think I've ever seen you happy about anything except revenge."

Ymir smirks. "Yeah, well, maybe my time is coming. Who knows, I might even have a sponsor soon."

Levi stares at Ymir for a moment. "I'm just thinking about your eye," he says. "If you change something on the level of the archetype, can you change how it manifests in the physical?"

"I don't know," she says gravely. "I wondered about that, too. Hypothetically, you could. But that's something I don't think even my ancestors mastered." She groans. "God, I miss having a tribe."

I wish I'd _ever_ had one, Levi thinks. "Guess you'll just have to assemble a new one."

"Yeah," she says. "One way or another. I have to ask you a favor, by the way." She looks into the water. "This place is really good for the wolf. Especially with the moon like this. I should stay out here tonight. Will you let me back in if I come back to the house just before dawn?"

"Yeah, of course," Levi says.

"Thanks."

Levi turns back to the trail as Ymir begins to pull off her clothes.

**

He takes a completely unnecessary shower when he gets back to the house. When he slips under the sheets next to Erwin, his skin is warm and his hair is damp.

"I thought I told you not to stay up all night," Erwin whispers.

"It's not that late."

"Good." Erwin's arms find him in the dark and Levi sinks into the embrace. Erwin's hands on his back seem to amplify the current, he thinks. Even Erwin notices it. "You're a little firecracker tonight," he laughs quietly, taking in the bizarre sensations.

"It's your fault."

"Hm?"

"I'll explain later," Levi whispers. "Go back to sleep."

"In a minute," Erwin says. He kisses Levi and the crackling intensifies. When Levi closes his eyes, he just sees light.


	27. Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin relishes having someone to come home to. He just hates having to leave him in the mornings.

Levi feels too wired up to sleep. It's not that the light that surrounds Erwin isn't beautiful. It's mystifying. But it's also blaring. Almost too bright. And Levi's mind blazes with questions after his conversation with Ymir.

He feels the current in his spine spread out beneath him. Less like a wire, more like a stream. Lying down, it feels almost like a floor: a level past which he cannot fall. Erwin's arm lies across him like a security blanket.

He thinks about the vortex, the archetype lying behind Ymir's current. What's lying behind all this light, he wonders. Intending to sit up straight against the headboard, he carefully slips out from under Erwin’s arm. But it rouses him.

"You ok?" Erwin whispers, half awake.

You're always checking on me, Levi thinks. He wonders if maybe it's Erwin who needs more checking on. "I'm fine."

Erwin smiles and drapes his arm across Levi again. Well, so much for sitting up.

Levi becomes aware of the light again. Ok, he thinks. Go a level up. Look behind it. After a few minutes, he perceives a kind of path. It's a cord, he realizes, linking him to Erwin. The image begins to stabilize. Dozens of others, fine threads, branch out from Levi in every direction. He decides to follow them.

One with a light, silvery quality leads to Ymir, sleeping next to the spring. One with a faint whiteness leads to Carla. A fine greenish thread leads to Armin. Levi lets his awareness travel down the little scintillating paths, and images and symbols fill his mind.

He notices that several of the threads are slowly turning. They lead back in time, he realizes. A reddish one leads to Farlan. It's almost too painful to follow it.

A gentle snore from Erwin breaks his concentration. Levi finds himself back in the subtle glow of the bedroom. He tries to find the threads again. But there's no forcing the images. He simply has to wait for them to appear. The tedium of concentration finally puts him to sleep.

He dreams about Farlan.

**

He misses the way things were. He can picture it so clearly. Isabel cutting into a stack of pancakes the size of her head. Farlan slurping coffee out of a giant ceramic mug, leafing through an issue of _Architectural Digest_. The kitchen cabinet bursting with half-empty tea tins. The whole apartment on the verge of complete disorder which Levi somehow helped them rein in. Looking back, it was a pleasant problem to have.

You can look back, Levi thinks, gazing up at the dark ceiling, but you can't go back. You can't spend the rest of your life trying to raise the dead. He slides closer to Erwin and lays his head on his chest. Erwin instinctively wraps an arm around him. He supposes Erwin is clingy in his own way. But truthfully, Levi welcomes it.

He tries one more time to reach the archetype. The cord to Erwin emerges. It's rotating, too, Levi realizes. But it seems to be moving in two directions at once.

He notices a little silver ripple in his consciousness. Ymir approaching the house. He opens his eyes, slinks off of Erwin, and slips on his jeans and Erwin's huge sweatshirt. A dressed, human Ymir walks silently up the back stairs as Levi opens the door. From the edge of the porch, Levi sees the horizon begin to glow. Still about half an hour to sunrise.

"You all right?"

"That spring is a grace." Ymir sits at the kitchen table. "But the wolf has a long way to go," she says despondently. She stretches her feet out and folds her arms behind her head.

"You want some tea?" Levi reaches for the kettle. Ymir nods.

They speak in hushed tones, but Erwin still hears them. He lets himself eavesdrop, half awake.

Two plumes of steam curl toward the ceiling in the dim light. Ymir warms her hands on her mug. "You notice anything different?"

Levi shrugs. He's not sure if he should mention the cords. "It's a little better. I can kind of feel the current spreading out, like it's becoming more solid."

"You got close before, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he sighs. "Years ago. I never paid quite so much attention to it, though. I was able to go several days at a time before shifting, and it didn't hurt. If you'd asked me then, I'd have thought that was as good as it was ever gonna' get." He remembers Farlan carrying him around on his shoulders in his cat form. "I did all right working for Uri, actually," he admits. "Toward the end of it. Still hurt like hell, but I could get a couple days in. Made the job a hell of a lot easier."

"It's probably going faster now because you remember what it's like," Ymir offers. "To get close." She watches a moth flail hopelessly around the kitchen light. "The first stage of stability is all based on expansion. It's very emotional," she muses. "It can be good things or bad things, you know. It's all about the intensity, not necessarily the quality. The bad things'll shut you down in the short run, but in the long term, they can actually increase your ability to stabilize."

"Yeah," Levi says, "I think you mentioned something like that." He stretches his arms out wide. "Well get your fucking steamroller ready, looks like I'm gonna' be a human wall." Ymir chuckles. Levi collapses a little. "I still feel like some kind of parasite, though, you know. Like I'm just soaking all the life out of Erwin."

Ymir laughs, then looks sheepishly at the bedroom door and restrains herself. "Please. Does he seem any worse?" She looks carefully at Levi. "Trust me, if it wasn't good for him, it wouldn't be good for you." She tests the tea. Still just too hot to drink. "I know humans are harder to observe, but I'm serious. Watch him. See what happens. What kind of effect you have on him." Ymir pulls the little sachet of tea up and down, watching the smoky tendrils unfurl into the water. "You love him, don't you."

Levi only pauses for a second, but it's a telling second. "Tch. I've barely been here three weeks."

She laughs louder than she intends to. "You're a terrible liar."

Levi glares at her across his mug of tea, his face flushed. "Fuck you."

She grins. They drink in silence for a moment. Ymir sighs.

"Hard to believe the spring did you much good from how exhausted you look," Levi says.

"Yeah, well. This form is not too bad," she admits. "But God. I don't want to be the wolf." She slumps onto the table and shuts her eyes. "I swear, it's some of the worst pain I've ever been in."

Levi squints. "Coming from you, that's pretty scary."

"You ever leave your body?" she asks.

"Not intentionally. Maybe a few times, at Lovoff's."

"I can barely stay in mine when I'm the wolf. It's that painful."

"How long can you stave it off?"

She shrugs. "I could probably go a week or two without shifting if I had to. But it's just gonna' be waiting for me. No reason not to just sleep it off while I don't have to be anywhere."

Levi takes another sip of tea. "Was it worth it? Getting rid of Reiss?"

Ymir looks coldly at the table. She laughs quietly. When she looks back up at Levi, her eyes are yellow. "Absolutely."

The chime of the alarm clock rings in the bedroom. A moment later, Levi hears the shower turn on.

Ymir drums clawed fingers against the table. "The one I really want is Zackley." She lets her gaze wind through the grain of the wood. "I'd give up my other eye to get back at him."

"I'm glad you and I hate the same people," Levi says decisively.

Ymir raises her mug and gives Levi a knowing look.

A shirtless Erwin emerges a few minutes later, strands of damp hair hanging in his face like little pieces of straw. "You two are up early," he yawns.

"I'm sure I'll go back to sleep soon enough," Ymir says, her eyes and hands back to normal.

"Do you need anything?" Erwin asks. Ymir shakes her head.

Before Levi can get up from the table, Erwin walks up behind him, leans down, and kisses his head. Levi looks up at him. Erwin smiles and gives him an upside down kiss, a little spark in Ymir's awareness. She stifles a smile. It's certainly not the worst thing to be around while she recovers.

Erwin pulls a pitcher from the refrigerator. He opens the freezer. "Levi, do you want me to thaw this fish for you?"

"Yeah. Thanks. I forgot to get it out."

"Ymir, if I don't hear back from Krista by this afternoon, I'll try her again, or maybe some mutual friends."

She looks at him through the little screen of steam. "Thank you." She gives Levi a satisfied smile as Erwin rifles through the pantry. She downs the rest of the tea and sticks the mug in the dishwasher. "All right," she declares, "I'm going back into hibernation. Thanks again for the hiding spot," she says to Erwin. She walks into the guest bedroom and leaves the door cracked open.

Erwin dumps a scoop of oatmeal into a saucepan of water and flicks on the stove. He fills the sink with warm water and lays the little plastic bag of frozen fish in it. Levi walks up behind him and rests his head between Erwin’s shoulder blades, his arms around Erwin's waist.

"I didn't wake you up too much last night, did I?" Levi asks.

"No," Erwin smiles. "I seem to sleep just fine with you around." He dries his hands on a dish towel and turns around, slipping them underneath the oversized sweatshirt. "I wondered where my sweatshirt went."

"I'm just keeping it warm for you."

Erwin chuckles. He pulls Levi to him. "Did you sleep all right?"

Levi nods. It's not a lie if you don't say anything, he thinks. He rests his head against Erwin again. "Ymir gave me some advice. I'm getting better."

Erwin beams.

They eat breakfast quietly. Erwin tries not to let on about the overheard conversation. But Levi feels his gaze.

"What?"

"Nothing," Erwin says. "I just like looking at you," he admits. It is true, he thinks.

Levi pretends not to be flattered. It's painful to admit how much he likes looking at Erwin. The wet hair doesn't help. He looks at the translucent piece of fish.

Erwin senses the embarrassment. "Is something wrong?"

"Just trying to avoid a staring contest."

Erwin crosses his arms and holds Levi's gaze for a moment. He seems completely relaxed, Levi thinks. He tries to tune in. The brilliant vertical emerges. The clearest human Levi's been able to perceive.

Levi smiles. "Fuck," he says, looking away. "You're gonna' win every single time."

"Come here," Erwin laughs. He tilts Levi's chin toward him and kisses him on the nose.

In the next room, a half-awake Ymir senses a little brightness coming from the kitchen.

**

Erwin slides a stack of papers from the coffee table into his briefcase. He notices the little pile of cat toys on the floor. He rests his hands on his hips. "I guess I could probably get rid of these."

Levi eyes widen in grave offense. " _No_ ," he whispers as much as hisses. "These are _special_. _You_ got these for me!" Levi gathers them up protectively and lays them carefully on the shelf.

Erwin steps back. "I...I'm sorry I even mentioned it."

Levi rubs the little catnip mouse to release the scent. His mood softens almost immediately.

"I just didn't think you'd find them that interesting since you're...actually a human."

Levi shrugs. "Well, sure, they're much more entertaining when I'm a cat, but _still_. It's the thought that counts." He slides the mouse carefully into his pocket.

Everything matters to you, Erwin thinks. "I could get a laser pointer," he offers.

Levi's expression darkens again. He points at Erwin. "Never."

**

"You sure you're all right with leaving her at the house?" Levi asks as they get into the car.

"Levi, the only valuable thing in that house is you."

"Tch." Levi stares out the window, clutching his thermos of tea. But Levi looks anxious on the drive to the Jaegers'. He insists nothing's wrong. At the fourth stoplight, Erwin asks again. Levi huffs. He looks at the floor. "I want to hold your hand but you need it to drive."

Erwin laughs and reaches for Levi's hand. Levi feels it almost immediately: a little spark of expansion. Clearer and clearer, it seems. "I'll take it back when I need it," Erwin says. He holds on for a few seconds before Levi gets out of the car. Erwin gets out too, to Levi's surprise.

Levi grips the back of Erwin's blazer. He rises up ever so slightly onto his toes to kiss Erwin. He hopes Erwin doesn't notice. Erwin does.

"Tell Carla and Grisha 'hello' for me."

"Of course."

"Call me if you need anything."

Levi smirks.

"Call me even if you don't need anything," Erwin says.

Levi rolls his eyes.

"I'll see you tonight." Erwin pulls Levi to him one more time. He sits back down in the driver's seat of the car as Levi disappears into the house. He spots Grisha's pale hand waving as he turns out of the driveway.

I'll see you tonight, he thinks. He'd rather do virtually anything than go home to an empty house. Even a house fraught with conflict would be better than silence. And even if Levi had been only a cat and nothing more, Erwin thinks, even that would have been enough.

This is more than enough.


	28. Coffee break / Pest Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and the other teachers talk about the recent turn of events. Levi tries to be as helpful as he can.

"Well, poor Moblit was mortified," Hange says, recounting an anguished confession from Jean from the previous night. She taps a packet of sugar into her coffee. "I thought it was all pretty clever, really."

Nanaba looks skeptical. She reaches for the orange-handled pot of decaf. "Well, I'm sure it sounds clever after the fact. They're just lucky their plan worked." She sits next to Erwin on the couch in the teacher's lounge. Ten minutes until class begins. Only sponsors fill the little room.

Mike takes a thoughtful sip of coffee. "Makes ya' wonder, though. What you'd do if somebody came after you and yours. Hell, if somebody came after Nan or Reiner, you'd be seein' my mug shot all over the news the next day, no doubt about it."

Erwin thinks of Kenny’s sallow face, glaring at him from the semi-darkness of the yard. His hand hadn't trembled holding the gun, his voice hadn't wavered. But he'd been too stunned to move, and it took what felt like an hour for his heart to return to a normal rhythm. "Well, I'm not sure anyone really knows what they'd do until it happens to them."

"You know who you really ought to talk to," Hange says, "if you want some crazy stories about fucking with the auction, pardon my French, is Dot Pixis."

Mike laughs. "Ol' Dot'll take 'em to town, that's for sure." He nudges Erwin. "I'd tell you to tell him you're sponsoring a shifter, but you'll never hear the end of it. Grandpa Dot's war stories."

"Well, some of them actually are quite remarkable," Nanaba says. "...The first six times you hear them."

"Aw, give Dot a break," Hange grins. "It's not like he can tell his stories to just anybody, you know." She takes another swill of her mostly-sugar coffee and sits across from Mike. "But I'd have to say my all time favorite is the bust that happened about thirty years ago," she says to Erwin. "Right before Dot transitioned. Nobody ever figured out who he was. They got almost twenty people out. Almost all of them cats. He dug up enough dirt on these guys to get half a dozen of them arrested on charges for other things they couldn't get out of. The whole auction took a real hit after that."

Thirty years ago, Erwin thinks. He realizes he's never asked Levi how old he actually is.

"Yeah, but those guys are like hydra's heads," Nan sighs. "Take out a few of them, and more crop up in their place."

Erwin looks dismayed. "Will it ever stop? I mean, is there any way to get rid of it?"

Nan sighs. "It's all so corrupt. The government side of it, too. I mean, I'm sure there's a few people in the labs who really believe they're doing the right thing," she says with a maternal indignation, "And maybe to a certain extent they are. They always say if the general public knew about the shifters, they'd all be in danger. But the incentives are all fucked up." She doesn't excuse herself. "You might get a grant or an award for bringing in a group of shifters to a lab. 'Rescuing' them, so to speak," she grimaces. "But then you could make a small fortune selling them off two years later. And everything's so hidden, and so under the table. So, in the meantime, we just do what we can." The others nod gravely.

"You know...I still can't believe Jean was the horse all along," Hange says after a moment, injecting a little levity into the room. "Of course, now, looking at him, I can totally see it. I offered to get him some apples, but he didn't think it was funny." Mike chuckles. "He was too polite to say it," Hange continues. "But I could just tell."

Two more teachers walk in, chatting in rapid Spanish. A glance from Mike indicates the topic of shifters is shelved for the time being. Erwin looks at his phone. Still nothing from Krista. But there is a message from Petra.

_Erwin you've got to come see the new restaurant Oulo and I remodeled. What are you doing Saturday? We want to take you out._

_I'm free that evening_ , he types back. He pauses. _Mind if I bring a date?_

He can nearly feel Petra grinning through the phone. _You should!!_ She types back immediately. _It's Trattoria Maria in the historic district. Meet us at 7?_

 _Sounds great_ , Erwin types. He hopes Levi will be in his human form. He wonders if they serve seafood. But it's not until he gets to his classroom a few minutes before the bell rings that Erwin remembers that Petra and Oulo don't know about the shifters.

**

Carla pours a kettle of boiling water into a pot filled with fresh catnip. "See what you think." She hands it to Levi on a tray with a porcelain cup. "Mikasa says it doesn't do much for her, but I always make some for Annie when she comes over. She says she loves it."

"Thank you," Levi says quietly, watching the leaves steep.

Grisha looks morosely at his laptop screen.

"What's the matter, honey?" Carla asks.

"It appears one of my patients has died. There's an article on it in the paper."

Carla and Levi walk over to look at the screen. Levi goes rigid. A corporate looking headshot of Rod Reiss is posted next to the headline. _Tragic crash claims local businessmen_.

"I knew them," Levi nearly whispers.

Grisha correctly intuits that Levi doesn't know them from anywhere good.

Levi looks at the images of the other men, a cold fury brewing in his stomach. "They were all traffickers."

"I had no idea," Grisha says, quietly horrified.

Carla gives him a nervous look.

"I didn't know them, personally," Levi clarifies. "But I knew who they were. And some of the people they bought." Levi wonders how much Eren and Armin told Carla and Grisha. Possibly nothing, he realizes. He looks at the screen again. "That was no accident," he says plainly. "This whole ordeal's been in the works for a long time coming." Levi can't constrain all his bitterness, but he tries to contain just enough of it to remain an overall pleasant houseguest. He finds it a challenge. "I'm not surprised the paper wrote it up like this. I just wonder whether the connection to the auction is with the police, or with the paper. Or both."

Grisha sighs. "Well, one thing I do know, is that the police have been getting bribe money from the auction for years. And some of them are personally involved in it. But I don't know who, specifically." He leans back in his chair and looks at Levi. "It's disturbing. I knew Rod for years. I treated his family for years. I always knew his personal life was, well, somewhat of a train wreck, to put it nicely. But I never knew about this."

Levi shrugs. "There's no way you could have known. This whole system can only perpetuate itself because people are good at hiding it."

"It just makes us worried for Mikasa," Carla says. "We have to know who to keep away from her. We can't always tell."

Levi crosses his arms. "I wouldn't worry about her too much," he muses. "She's so stable. I mean, it's obvious to another shifter, because of the current," he makes a little sweeping motion with his hand. "But to any normal human..." he shakes his head. "There's no reason they'd think she's anything other than a normal kid." Prettier than normal, maybe. And a good athlete, Levi thinks. But nothing particularly telling.

Carla looks momentarily relived, then suddenly concerned again. "What's going to happen...to the people they bought?" She nods her head in the direction of the screen.

Levi wonders how much to divulge. "One of them is staying at Erwin's," he confesses. They Jaegers look shocked. "Turns out we have a mutual friend." Levi decides to gloss over some details. "No one knows she's there. But she has a potential sponsor lined up. From what she tells me, the others are just making a break for it. So, who knows."

Grisha glances at the clock. "Well, on that cheerful note, I need to get going." He kisses Carla on the cheek and grabs his white coat from a hook on the wall. "Levi, if you get any more details...if there's anything we can do...let us know."

He nods silently as Grisha leaves.

"Shall we?" Carla asks.

Levi carries the tea tray with him into the workshop.

**

Eren and Armin are the first to walk into the classroom. Armin looks only marginally better than the day before. He sinks into a desk near the front of the room. Eren sits next to him.

"You doing ok?" Erwin asks, sorting through a stack of handouts.

"I didn't even run yesterday and I'm still so sore," Armin groans.

"Well, just hang in there," Erwin says. He finds himself saying this to Armin with some frequency. But then, he does coach an endurance sport. "Get a foam roller after practice, that should help a little."

Eren looks around. Still a minute before the bell. "Annie said Ymir's staying with you," he says furtively. Erwin nods. "Is she ok?"

"Well...she's a character," Erwin concedes. "But she ought to be all right. Seemed like the injuries were pretty bad, though."

"Yeah," Armin says. "We only saw her right after it happened. We didn't get to meet her in her human form."

"Well, you may get to," Erwin says. "She may have a sponsor."

"That's what Annie said." Eren looks toward the door, then continues. "What's she like?"

Erwin looks pensive. "Brash. Cunning. Every bit the kind of person who orchestrates...that kind of plan. But, she seems to be helping Levi, so, truth be told, that's all I really care about."

Eren's eyes have a curious glow. "Annie was telling us the wild shifters are really advanced. Really stable."

"That's what Levi tells me."

"How's he doing?" Armin asks.

"Better," Erwin smiles. "Still a piece of work." He smiles wider. Then he glances at Eren. The chatter in the hallway grows louder as more students approach the room. "Do your parents know about what happened?"

The boys look at each other for a moment, then back at Erwin.

"No," they say simultaneously.

**

It's exquisite, Levi thinks. Mikasa's missing out. He takes another sip of the catnip tea. A wonderful feeling of clarity pours through him. "I can see why Annie likes it so much. I wish I'd known about it sooner."

The work goes quickly. Levi works deftly, making careful replicas of Carla's work. He picks up a green herb. "Did you know you can eat this?" he asks.

"No," Carla says. She pauses. "I feel like that's something I should know."

"I used to do a lot of foraging," Levi admits.

"I always noticed the girls seem to do well on wild greens," she says. "Fish and a few raw plants here and there."

"I'm the same way." Levi clips a wire. "I'm just glad Erwin indulges me."

"Well, it certainly is easy to cook for cats. Frankly, I don't mind the expense for the time it saves."

"Annie stays with you a lot?"

"Often," Carla says. She reaches for a spray of Baby's Breath. "We try to have all the shifter kids over as much as possible. It's good for them to be together. They're a little tribe, I guess."

Levi wonders at her choice of words. He feels a little flare of jealousy. Friends were hard to come by growing up.

"I'm glad to have them around," Carla continues, "but truthfully I'm glad they're old enough to take care of themselves," she says. "I can't run a day care. I could barely handle Eren when he was little." Levi tries not to laugh. He isn't surprised. "Even when Mika joined us, she was already ten. She's always been mature for her age. And a good influence on Eren." She sets a finished arrangement in the lighted glass case with the others. "Armin, too. Sometimes I think the two of them raised him as much as I have." She laughs a little and shakes her head. "I love Eren to death, but God, he was a little monster as a kid."

"I can't even imagine having kids," Levi says. "I've always been too preoccupied trying to take care of myself. It's barely even crossed my mind." He tries to imagine how fearful his mother must have been.

Carla gives him a knowing look. "Well, I hardly think that's your fault," she says softly. "Even in my case..." she shrugs. "One was plenty. I didn't want to give up my business forever. You know," she looks at Levi, "I used to think about how nice it would be to have another child, if we could just skip the diapers and tantrums stage. And then...lo and behold! Eren brings home Mikasa. And finally poor Armin has someone else on his team, managing Eren." She reachers for her pliers. "It amazes me sometimes that they're all still friends. Well. Eren and Armin are...whatever they are."

Levi suppresses a chuckle. Of course she noticed, he thinks. She'd have to be blind not to. "I lost track of Armin after he moved," Levi says. "How did you meet him?"

"We were neighbors. Though I think Grisha had met Armin's grandfather before we moved into the neighborhood." She wraps a green wire carefully around a bunch of rose stems. "Armin got picked on at school. I guess it's hard to be small for your age." She catches herself, but continues. "I suppose if there's one good thing about having a child prone to rages, it's that it scares bullies away." She chuckles. "How Eren managed not to scare Armin off too, I'll never know. But they've been a pair ever since."

Levi feels strangely satisfied, knowing there had been someone to stand up for Armin. "He's a brave kid in his own way," Levi says.

Carla pulls a bucket of peonies from one of the refrigerators.

"I never thanked you, by the way," Levi says softly. "For the silks."

"Oh, honey," Carla beams. "It was my pleasure."

Carla opens her laptop and turns on the radio. The soothing voice of the NPR host joins them in the quiet, airy room. They're nearly finished when Levi feels the telltale static in his spine.

"Shit."

Carla waves her hand. "We got plenty done, don't worry. I can handle these last few myself."

Levi walks into the bathroom and undresses. As carefully as he can, he observes the current as the change takes over. It is less of a fall, he notices, and more of a fold. He feels relief as he trots back into the workshop.

Carla picks him up and sets him on the table. He slurps the rest of the tea out of the cup. Carla graciously pours him some more. He watches her serenely until he notices movement from the corner of his eye. A spider crawls along the edge of the floor. Levi pounces on it with a little hiss. He picks it up in his teeth and drops it in the wastebasket. Carla laughs and kneels down next to Levi, stroking his head. "Thank you, sweetheart, that's very helpful of you." Levi's white chest puffs up a little from the praise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little concerned that this story is creeping along at a snail's pace, but on the other hand, I'm trusting that if you've read this far, you're ok with that! More vengeful, convoluted plots are in the works; all, hopefully, in service to more fluff and relationship-building. Anyways, thanks for reading this far, and as always, any and all suggestions and feedback are *highly* appreciated! I originally planned to wrap this thing up at about 60 thousand words, so I'm feeling a touch out of my element.


	29. Nobody's watching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Armin mistakenly believe they're alone in the locker room after practice. After a long week, Erwin decides to let Levi take control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated Halloween! This chapter was going to be character development, but turned into Eremin and Eruri smut instead. ::shrug::

Krista waits at the edge of the porch, away from the clamor of the restaurant. The edges of her phone leave little lines on the side of her face.

"We're sorry," says the automated voice. "The number you have dialed is not available at this time." A long dial tone sounds. Krista stares at the floor in dismay. She wonders if the contact number listed for Marco was disconnected, or simply not real. Then she wonders what it means that the best bartender her restaurant has ever had was technically indentured labor. Mina does a respectable job filling in on short notice. But they're woefully short staffed. Krista's far too distracted with desperately trying to get a hold of the staff her dad fired in order to offer them back their jobs to notice that the rest of her servers simply appeared, on time, no cars in the parking lot. Or that a little camp has emerged in the basement. Flegel is far too busy managing the remaining staff and waiting tables himself to shatter any illusions or offer any explanations. The other managers have simply vanished.

Ordinarily, she'd be on the verge of tears. Instead her eyes just throb with a dull sting, still recovering from the previous day's harrowing series of phone calls to coordinate Rod's funeral. A counterpart to the dull ache in her head from the five glasses of wine her itinerant flock of sorority sisters treated her to. And the vague sensation that everything is shifting slightly to the left.

When she walks back inside, Thomas sets a plate with a crab cake on it on the edge of the hostess stand. "Thank you," she mouths over the noise. He nods and disappears back into the kitchen. It's not until she's finished eating, discreetly, out of the way of the patrons that she notices the message request on her phone. Erwin Smith, 24 mutual friends.

She suppresses a little shriek.

_Mr. Smith, I'm SO sorry I missed your message!!_   
_I've been trying to get in touch with Ymir! Can you please have her call me?_

She types out her number. She adds Erwin as a friend.

When the next group of guests emerges in the foyer to be seated, she does her best to collect her wits, a little bubble of hope swelling in her chest.

**

If I were half as good at running as I am at fighting off tears, Armin thinks, I'd be a fucking state champion. Hange carefully demonstrates the use of the foam roller for a cluster of runners after the practice. On the backs of his knees, it's a grace, Armin realizes. On his calves, also good. It's when he gets to his IT bands that he's ready to scream like a lamb being dragged to slaughter. Eren looks on nervously. Armin finds himself suddenly grateful for all the practice he's had in not making noise, chiefly from avoiding waking Eren's parents.

Erwin helps Sasha and Connie tape ice packs to their shins. The others sit stretching and chatting. Eren and Armin wait for the other runners to filter into the locker rooms before they approach Erwin.

"Did you see the article?" Armin asks.

Erwin shakes his head.

Eren glances around. "The deaths were covered up. The paper says it was a car accident."

Erwin crosses his arms. "Well, I guess that's good news for Jean."

"Yeah," Armin says, "The auction's just trying to...cover its tracks." He gives a little morbid laugh.

Erwin towels off from the shower and changes in the far corner of the locker room, behind another bank of lockers, to give the students some more privacy. He draws his phone from his bag, and searches for Rod Reiss. The article is the first result. Before he can read through it, he sees Krista's message. He types back, still unsure of how much she knows.

_Krista,_   
_Ymir was injured but she should be ok. Right now she's staying with me and Levi. You're welcome to come by the house. She seemed very anxious to see you. Let me know and I'll text you the address. If she's awake when I get home, I'll have her call you._   
_Erwin_

Erwin wonders if the message sounds creepy. But then, everything about this situation is creepy. And he can't exactly write that he has a clairvoyant one-eyed wolf asleep in his spare bedroom.

By the time he reads through the article, the students have all left except for two; he recognizes Eren and Armin's bags lying on the bench near the showers as he turns to walk out the door. Only one shower is running. One pair of feet is visible under the door of the stall, and one pair of knees. Erwin decides this is none of his business, and leaves silently.

But the door slams shut behind him, and Armin goes rigid against the tile wall of the shower. "Fuck," he whispers. "I thought everyone left."

Eren looks up at him with big, mischievous green eyes. "Relax. It's fine." He stands on his toes and peeks above the door of the shower stall. The locker room is empty. He kneels back down and runs two soapy hands down the sides of Armin's sore, burning legs. Armin shudders slightly. "Now do you want a massage or not?"

"Is that what you're calling it?" Armin gives him an incredulous look.

Eren rolls his eyes. "Shut up."

"You shut up," Armin says languidly.

Eren grins. "Make me."

Armin grabs a handful of Eren's wet hair and pulls his face toward his stiff cock. Eren licks the shining bead of precum off the tip. Armin tilts his head back against the wall. Eren slowly takes Armin into his mouth, gripping his thighs, cheered on by Armin's stifled pants.

"Shit," Armin says after a minute.

"What's wrong?" Eren withdraws and looks at him. Even with the heat of the shower, he can tell Armin is flushed with embarrassment, not just arousal.

"I'm not gonna' be able to stand like this," Armin confesses, his legs starting to shake.

Eren finds it funny, but he doesn't laugh; as much as he enjoys teasing Armin up to a point, there's no reason to embarrass him more. He grabs Armin's hips as he slides down the wall. "Better?" He smiles, not mockingly this time, just warmly.

"Yeah," Armin whispers.

"Good," Eren says. He greedily picks up where he left off, now on his hands and knees. Through his half-open eyes, Armin watches the drops of water run down Eren's tan back.

**

Erwin slices up a piece of fish for Levi. Levi sits on the coffee table, still in his cat form, and eats delicately from the little plate. The wolf sleeps curled up on the floor of the guest bedroom. Erwin fills a bowl with water and lays it next to her. She opens her eye slowly, makes a little gruffle, and goes back to sleep. Erwin sinks into the couch and switches on the television. Clint Eastwood's _Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil_ plays on a local station. Levi, finished with his food, climbs into Erwin's lap. Neither of them pays much attention to the movie.

Erwin's phone chimes. A message from Krista. _I have to stay until closing tonight. Can I come by afterwards if it's not too late? Like 11?_

 _That's no problem_ , Erwin responds. He yawns and sets the alarm on his phone for 10:30

"It's been a long week," he confesses with a sigh to the cat. He stretches out onto the couch, and Levi climbs onto his chest. It's not long before Levi's purring gently subsides and the two of them fall asleep, lit up by the shifting blue shapes from the TV screen.

The static of the shift begins. Levi mews in protest, underneath Erwin's arm. Erwin wakes up and smiles. "It's all right," he says. "You can stay where you are."

Levi's body contorts and lengthens; 150 pounds of naked, human Levi materializes and sinks into Erwin. Erwin brushes Levi's hair out of his face and smiles. Levi's eyes look completely gray in the dim, flickering light.

"Just who I wanted to see," Erwin says.

Levi grins smugly. He slides a hand under the back of Erwin's neck and kisses him. Erwin runs his hands down Levi's back, grabs his waist, and pulls him closer. After a moment, he feels Levi's erection pressing into his stomach.

"I like you on top of me like this," Erwin offers, his voice low and breathy.

"Yeah?" Levi cocks an eyebrow. He slides down a few inches, allowing his tip to slide between Erwin's legs. Erwin inhales sharply, then relaxes. But Levi looks hesitant.

Erwin glances in the direction of the guest room. "You worried about our houseguest?"

Levi shakes his head. "Just the teeth and claws. She knows not to come in here."

Erwin arcs his hips up into Levi and tilts his head back. "Well, maybe just keep your claws away from the places my shirt doesn't cover."

Levi squints. "Yeah, but I don't want to gouge you."

Erwin grins. "I'm all right with being gouged."

Levi looks skeptical. He rests his head on Erwin's chest.

"Levi, if you don't want to, we don't have to. I just thought it'd be nice to—"

"No, believe me, I want to fuck you," Levi says dryly. "I'm just..." he gives a frustrated little sigh.

Erwin kisses Levi's neck. "Let's just improvise," he says. "and if we need to do something else," Levi feels the heat of Erwin's breath against the damp spot on his skin, "then we'll just...go with it."

"Tch." Levi glances at the floor, then back at Erwin. "All right." He smiles mischievously. "I'll be right back."

When he walks back into the room with a condom, the little jar of oil, and a towel, Erwin pulls his sweatshirt over his head. Levi slides off Erwin's shorts and boxers, liberating his erect cock. He gives it a long, slow stroke with his tongue, making Erwin shudder. Levi dips his fingers into the jar and looks at them. "Guess we'll see how long I last," he says with an air of faint resignation.

"I'm all right with experimenting," Erwin says.

Levi wraps his hand around the base of Erwin's cock as he descends back onto it with his mouth. He pulls his hand up to meet the little curtain of saliva dripping down Erwin's shaft. He teases Erwin with his other hand and prays for verticality. Surely, he thinks, he'll be able to feel the partial shift begin before his claws emerge. He licks Erwin gratuitously and penetrates him slowly with his fingers, keeping a laser-like focus on his current. Erwin breathes in sharply through his teeth and grips the couch cushions.

"You all right?"

"Yeah," Erwin whispers. "It's just been a while." Levi assumes he means before his marriage to Marie. Erwin decides not to mention the drunken tryst with Mike that happened right before the divorce was finalized. No one needs to know, he thinks. Even if Nanaba, with her very French attitudes toward monogamy, laughingly dismissed it as an act of charity.

Erwin draws his knees to his chest. It's not until Levi begins to push into him that he realizes how preposterously strong Levi actually is. Erwin rests his hands on Levi's back, feeling his muscles contract with an unexpected ferocity. It's a slightly foreign sensation, but a pleasant one, to be gripped, compressed under another man's weight. He lets out an uncontrollable groan as Levi thrusts deeper.

"Fuck," he mutters, biting his lip as Levi presses him harder into the cushions. He looks up at Levi. A demonic grin spreads across Levi's face, gray eyes gleaming. Erwin loves it. Humans are hard to read, Levi thinks, but when he reaches Erwin's prostate, an electricity of Erwin's own shoots through both of them. Levi feels Erwin's body weaken underneath him, succumbing to his weight. Erwin lets himself go. "Shit," he moans after a moment. "I'm close."

"Me too." Levi picks up his pace and grips Erwin's sides harder. Then he feels it. As if his current is not simply being folded, but turned inside out, an origami swan of the gods. His claws sink into Erwin's skin. He goes rigid.

"Don't stop," Erwin says, his body starting to spasm, loopy from the sudden shock of pain. "Please," he gasps. The feeling of his skin being punctured amplifies the nervous heat spreading through his body, the intensity of the hard penetration. Levi pulls his claws in deeper and forces himself into Erwin again. Erwin groans, his body stiffens, his chest splattered with his own semen. He collapses into the couch, his weight putting more pressure onto Levi's claws. Levi comes as if his soul is being ripped from his body, a violent sensation in his current pulling him parallel to Erwin. He delicately pulls his claws from Erwin's sides, panting. He reaches for the towel, gingerly wipes up the blood and the long trail of Erwin's cum, and lies back down onto Erwin's chest.

"I needed that," Erwin whispers. He wraps a tingling arm around Levi and reaches for the throw blanket draped over the side of the couch, pulling it over them. Levi heaves little purring sighs. As they fall into a delirious half sleep, Levi feels a spreading taking place, the glow of his spine like blanket of light.


	30. Survival Tactics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi bandages Erwin up after his last encounter with Levi's claws. Krista sees Ymir for who she really is.

Figures, Ymir thinks. That's what you get for staying with a couple. A resonant couple, no less. The light from the living room is blinding in her awareness. At least her physical body can sleep. Her consciousness drifts aimlessly.

A cinnamon candle burns on a table in the corner. Less obvious, they thought, than hosing the room down with air freshener the way Levi initially wanted to.

Levi tapes a few pieces of gauze over Erwin's sides and rests his fingers on them. "You sure you're all right with this?"

"Levi." Erwin smiles. "It's fine." Levi looks concerned. "Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to do this every time." He looks sheepishly at Levi, who still clutches him protectively. "Listen, if you don't want to do it, we don't have to. It seems like it bothers you."

He does want to do it. And it still bothers him. Levi shakes his head and gives a little shrug. "Just seems like it hurts, that's all."

"Well...yeah," Erwin says. "It does. But that's...why I like it."

Levi squints. He doesn't want to actually hurt Erwin. He wants to make Erwin feel good. He wants to be craved and desired. Viscerally, as when he breaks Erwin's skin. "As long as you like it."

"But do you?" Erwin lays his head in Levi's lap.

Levi goes quiet for a moment. "Yeah." He glances down at Erwin. "I feel like I shouldn't." He looks at his human hands and sighs. "I don't know why."

"Does it matter, if we both like it?" Erwin offers.

"Maybe not." But Levi does wonder.

Erwin shuts his eyes. Levi runs his fingers through Erwin’s hair, lets them drift down Erwin’s neck and chest. Erwin looks peaceful, Levi thinks. It makes him inordinately happy.

He picks up the remote control and turns to his favorite station: Animal Planet. A troupe of lionesses crosses the screen, tracking an antelope. Erwin dozes gently while Levi watches the giant cats maul their prey. It's satisfying to watch. The vicious triangulation. The impeccable timing of each strike.

"I was always jealous of Ymir," Levi admits. "And shifters like her."

"Really?" Erwin reaches for Levi's hand. Levi strokes the back of Erwin's neck with the other, his eyes glazed in the direction of the TV screen.

"Yeah," he sighs. "Because they can fight in both their forms."

"I never thought of that." Erwin's voice is light, on the interface between sleep and waking.

"I mean, all the guns make it a moot point, right? But even still. A guy like Bert or Reiner can do some damage. I've watched Ymir kill people..." his voice trails off. "There's still a lot the cat can do," he muses. "Hide, mostly. Blend in. Get information. Climb shit. God, I miss climbing shit," he thinks of the residual pain the cat's ribcage. "People say different things around cats; they let you in places they won't bring a dog. But you can't fight. I have to be human to fight."

"Did you have to do a lot of fighting?" Erwin looks concernedly up at Levi.

Levi nods slowly. "I don't know a shifter who hasn't," he says, still gazing toward the screen. "You have to. To survive."

Erwin sits up next to Levi and wraps his arm around his shoulder.

Levi shrugs. "I was just lucky I at least got paid for some of it," he says with a little half-sneer. "Working for Uri. But even the girls, the two cats you know, they both do martial arts, don't they."

"Yeah," Erwin says. He pictures them. Nowhere near as sinewy as Levi. Yet there's a tension to them; an almost spring-loaded quality to their gait. "Mikasa's a kickboxer. Annie, I think, does some of everything. Mixed martial arts. From what I hear, they're uncommonly good."

"Some of that's instinct," Levi says. "You have two bodies. But the instincts stay with you. It's like on a different level." A lioness with a blood-covered face peers over the antelope's side on the screen. "Kenny taught me to fight." He deflates a little into the crook of Erwin's arm. "God, those were some rough years," he mutters bitterly. "But it kept me alive." He shakes his head. "That's part of what gets me, you know. Kenny would never have attacked me if I'd been human. He knows I would have kicked his ass. Even killed him."

"Levi...wasn't he trying to kill you?"

"He was trying to make a point," Levi spits. "Kenny's the most spiteful being that ever walked this planet."

They sit in silence for a moment. Erwin looks pensive. "I've never had to fight another person in my life."

"Tch, not even as a kid?"

"Oh, sure, I got picked on," Erwin says. "But I was always a tall kid for my age. Eventually it stopped; I didn't really think about it much." He looks at Levi. Levi's bitter, gray stare softens in Erwin’s gaze. Erwin wraps his other arm around him. "I never even had to think about it," he whispers, aware of the freedom he's taken for granted. Levi leans into him and relaxes. Erwin feels a profound urge to keep Levi safe.

Maybe that's why the claws feel good, Erwin thinks. They are painful. But as long as they belong to Levi, they're safe.

**

Erwin pushes the bedroom door open gently. "Ymir?"

Ymir descends back into her body and opens her eye.

Erwin kneels down next to her. He reaches his hand out tentatively. There'll be no disguising the wolf as a dog, that much is obvious. If Krista chooses to sponsor Ymir, well, it's lucky Ymir's so stable, Erwin thinks. Though a wolf might not be a bad companion on a late night run. He thinks of Nanaba running with Reiner. It's interesting, Erwin realizes; the way the two of them can keep each other safe in ways the other can't.

Ymir presses the top of her head up into Erwin's hand. He gives her a delicate stroke. "Krista's coming by the house," he says. He notices the empty dish of water. "She's going to be here in about an hour."

Ymir lets out a pitiful whine. Erwin strokes the thick fur on her back.

"Is that all right?"

The wolf nods. She spends alarmingly little time in her wolf form, she realizes. Apart from the surgery, she can't remember the last time a human hand stroked her coat.

She rolls over onto her side. Erwin hesitates. He'd never touch her in her human form. He rubs her belly. She lets out a relieved little sigh. He supposes we're all just lonely animals at the end of the day. He sits down and lets his hand sink into her dense, luxurious fur. It makes him miss his dogs. There's something so satisfying about stroking an animal. She swishes her tail happily against the floor.

I can see why Levi likes him, Ymir thinks.

**

On a Friday night, the dining room is deafening. Krista's feet hurt from standing all day. Her face hurts from smiling all day. If there's one thing she appreciates about Ymir, it's that Ymir only smiles when she means it.

Ymir.

She could be anyone, Krista thinks. She's barely had time to think. She's had a phone pressed to her cheek for almost the entire day. But when she's even able to hear her own thoughts, they're about Ymir.

She could be literally anyone. Her dad's assistant. And what did she even assist him with, Krista wonders. Always in the same slinky dress. Always appearing and disappearing.

Krista walks into the little staff bathroom and shuts the door. She doesn't even have to pee. She just wants a minute alone. Ymir. Do you even really want Ymir, she asks herself, or did you just want someone pretty to listen to your problems on your breaks?

No, Krista thinks. Every other woman she knows is Nice. Nice to a fault. Forever, unfailingly Nice. Nice as a survival tactic. Ymir is happy to listen to your problems. But she will never, ever tell you what you want to hear. Ymir is not Nice. Ymir answers to one person alone, and that person is now dead, and quite possibly by Ymir's hands, Krista realizes.

Does she even have a last name?

The grandfather clock in the foyer declares an hour to closing. A group of high-heeled women walks in, towering above her.

"We just want a drink at the bar."

"Right this way." She smiles. It burns.

**

Levi sits in his usual spot on the couch. He turns to Ymir, tea in hand. "Are you going to tell her?"

"I'm telling her everything." Ymir looks vacantly at the floor, then up at Levi. "I'm so fucking sick of lying." Her voice is hollow. Tired. "I'd rather have her never speak to me again than have to lie to her every day."

"I didn't realize she was that important to you."

Ymir says nothing. She sips her tea.

Krista parks her car in Erwin's driveway. She pulls the key from the ignition and takes a deep breath. If she weren't about to walk into the home of someone she already knew, she'd be a lot more worried.

Erwin turns on the light and steps outside.

"Hi, Mr. Smith," she says warmly.

"Please, call me Erwin," he says. "It's been a long time since you were in one my classrooms."

"Thanks for letting me come over so late."

"Of course." He opens the door. She follows him inside.

Ymir stands up when Krista walks in. Levi notices an immediate change in the room: Ymir's current ablaze with concealed happiness.

Krista stands still for a moment. How bizarre to see Ymir anywhere but work, in anything but the same black dress. She looks exhausted. And yet more real.

Krista's voice trembles. "Are you ok?"

Ymir walks over to her, easily a foot taller. "I've been better," she admits. "But I'm in good company."

Krista wraps her arms around Ymir's waist. "I was really worried about you."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. If I could have called you sooner, I would."

"Erwin told me you were injured." She looks up at Ymir, her eyes enormous with concern.

"Oh, I am," Ymir admits. "I'll, uh...have to show you later." She kisses the top of Krista's head. She grabs her hand and sits the two of them down on the couch next to Levi.

"Krista...did Flegel tell you anything?" Ymir asks gravely. Krista shakes her head. "Wait, seriously? Nothing?" Ymir cocks her head to the side.

"Ymir, we barely had time to talk today. It was crazy."

Ymir looks thoughtful. "The others came back?"

"What, the other staff?"

"Yeah."

"Everyone but Marco. I can't get in touch with him."

Ymir nods. "I figured they might."

Krista looks exasperated. "Ymir, will you please tell me what is going on? What is wrong with them? What is happening?"

Ymir takes a deep breath. "Ok," she says softly. It looks like she's about to cry, Krista thinks. Then she notices something else. Ymir's eyes are slowly changing color.

Levi tunes in carefully. He senses it: a rotation in Ymir, like hands on a clock. New information, pulled into the physical.

"I don't want you to be afraid," Ymir says. Levi's never heard her take a tone so delicate. She looks at Krista without smiling. "This is what's wrong with us." When she speaks, her teeth are fangs.

The color drains from Krista's face. Ymir shuts her eyes and lays her hands in her lap. Black claws emerge from her fingertips. When Krista looks back up at Ymir's face, her hair has gone black with silver roots. Darkness frames her eyes. Krista clasps her hand over her mouth, frozen.

"I'm sorry," Ymir says. "I didn't know of any better way to tell you."

Krista just stares for a moment. She shakes her head. "No," she says, awestruck, reaching up to touch Ymir's face. Both of their eyes are full of tears. "It's beautiful."

**

[KaityKatlovesfanfiction](http://archiveofourown.org/users/KaityKatlovesfanfiction/pseuds/KaityKatlovesfanfiction)/[jivegaming](http://jivegaming.tumblr.com/post/152101895215/i-made-these-pictures-for-a-ao3-fanfiction-called) did these illustrations of my shifters for me, and I am over-the-moon flattered. Thank you again for the drawings!


	31. All or Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco tells Hange and Moblit about his time in the auction. Levi convinces Krista to take what's rightfully hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to personally hug everyone who has left me feedback on this fic so far. It really means a lot to me!

Hange gives Oulo one of her classically exuberant hugs. Oulo claps her on the back.

"It was so nice to meet you," Petra beams, her hand on Marco's shoulder. "Y'all are gonna' have to come over one night to play some guitar. I wish I'd brought mine tonight."

"Oh, that'd be great." Marco says, his eyes shiny and wide. He lays his pick on the table, still seated, his guitar in his lap. Jean sits across from him, hatching away furiously in his sketchbook. Marco feels a little rusty, not having touched the instrument in weeks. On occasion, between shifts, he'd play in his family's hotel lobby or in the restaurant, usually to the result of a generous jar of tips.

Jean shuts the book, gets up, and gives Petra an awkward side hug.

"See you Tuesday," she smiles. A little stack of glossy postcards lies on the wrought-iron table, the dinner dishes long since cleared away. _Jean Kirstein: Into the Wild_ , the cards read. _Ral Bozado Gallery. September 20–October 25._ On one side, a rendering of horses emerging from a dense layer of charcoal smoke. On the other, an oil painting of an elaborate cage of driftwood on a gray winter beach, with details for the opening reception.

Moblit waves as Petra and Oulo walk down the stone path from the patio to their car, parked in the rich orange light of the street. The sound of the crickets sparkles through the lawn. Through the gaps in the twisted live oak branches, Jean can pick out a handful of stars.

"Your friends are so nice," Marco sighs. He always loved meeting the guests at the hotel, striking up conversations with people, seeing the kids that would come back every summer with their families. There was no shortage of kids to play with growing up, out on the little stretch of beach, whether he was in his dog form, or running around as a boy. But no one ever stayed for very long.

Hange reaches for the pitcher of tea, pours herself another glass, and takes a long slurp.

"I wonder if we ought to tell them," Moblit says thoughtfully.

"I don't know." Hange sets her glass down and rests her face on her palm. "They'd make great sponsors, if they wanted to be. But I'm still pretty firmly in the need-to-know camp." She looks at Marco. "Though it's possible they could have a job for you in their shop."

Jean and Marco look at each other. "That could be really nice," Marco says.

"It'll probably be heavy lifting," Moblit says. "Nothing glamorous. Well, maybe installing artwork."

Marco shrugs. "It'd still be a start." He leans back in his chair. "I just hope I can find something."

"We'll ask around for you, don't worry," Hange says.

"You know," Marco says sheepishly, "bartending really wasn't that bad. It was a really nice restaurant, in any case. If I'd have gotten paid for it..." his voice trails off. "It wasn't too far off from what I was doing before, anyways."

"They probably did that on purpose," Hange offers. "So it wouldn't be so obvious."

"Yeah. I was pouring Ymir a drink when she found me."

"Could you tell she was another shifter?" Moblit asks cautiously.

Marco looks concerned. "Well...yes and no. Every now and then, we'd get a family that had a shifter, but it was super rare. I didn't really know that many growing up, besides my sisters." He gets up to lay his guitar gently back in its case. He pours himself another glass of tea. "I knew there was something off about Ymir, but I couldn't really tell. I have some cousins on Jekyll Island," he says. "And they knew these folktales about the 'Tribes of Two Bodies,' these wild shifters. But I didn't really put two and two together until it was too late. Honestly, I just thought she was an escort."

Jean laughs. It sounds ever-so-slightly like a whinny, Marco thinks. He will not be sharing this thought with Jean.

"Or like...maybe some kind of cross between an escort and a bodyguard." Marco shrugs, picturing Ymir's tall, lanky stature, like a basketball player. "I mean, I couldn't think of why else a woman like that would show up somewhere with a guy like Rod Reiss. Most of our guests are families. But it is a hotel. Sometimes you see some sketchy-looking people check in, and, well, it makes you wonder." Marco decides not to mention the handful of times he'd been solicited by guests himself.

Moblit's phone buzzes in his pocket. He takes it out and frowns.

"What's the matter?" Hange asks.

He flicks through an email. "Oh, I got asked to peer review an article."

"This late at night?" Jean looks incredulous.

"Well, the journals are all run by interns who never sleep," Moblit says. "I have a feeling I was supposed to get this much earlier today. This one's on the west coast, anyways."

"Who's the PI?" Hange looks over curiously.

Moblit squints at the screen. "Let's see...Ekotto, Abramović, and...oh." He makes a face like he's just stepped in dog shit. "Zackley."

Hange cocks an eyebrow. "What's the study?"

Moblit scans the text. "It's on the chemical structure of sedatives and induction of sleep states." He gives Hange a skeptical look.

"You think there's gonna' be a conflict of interest?"

"Well, I don't know," Moblit sighs. "I'm not sure I should turn it down just because I think one of the researchers is a tool." Moblit remembers Zackley from his days on the faculty at his university, prior to his tenure at Mount Sina.

"Zackley," Marco says lightly. "That name sounds familiar." Hange and Moblit exchange a concerned look. "I feel like there's a Zackley in the auction. But I'm not sure."

"Oh god," Hange says. "Did they debut you?" She thinks of the private parties where the new captives are introduced. A look of indignation crosses Jean's face.

"Yeah. But I wasn't for sale. Ymir said the only reason Reiss brought me was so that the other buyers would know who I was. In the pool, so to speak." He shivers slightly. He shakes his head. "They were all wearing these stupid Venetian masks. Everybody who wasn't a shifter. Apparently, they're really into 'themes.'"

Moblit scowls again. "I've always had my doubts about _this_ Zackley," he taps his phone. "But never enough dirt on him to really know for sure. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the same guy."

"Well, they did use sedatives on us," Marco says. He looks distraught. "It does weird stuff to you, besides just making you weak and sleepy. Sometimes it makes you shift, but not all the way." Jean looks at him with a mixture of horror and disgust.

"That's horrible," Hange says.

"It didn't hurt, necessarily," Marco says. "It's just...really weird."

"It makes me wonder, you know," Hange continues, "if there's anything off-color in this study...if we can get him into trouble with the ethics board. I don't know. You might find something else you can pin on him. Find some way to pull the carpet out from underneath him, if it turns out he's a buyer after all."

Moblit nods. "Give 'em the old Pixis treatment."

Jean looks confused.

"A friend of ours," Hange says. "Actually the principal where I teach. He's been messing with the auction for ages."

"I think I've heard of the Pixis family," Marco says. He wonders if they've ever stayed at the hotel.

Moblit glances at his phone again. It's getting late. "All right, well, I'll answer this in the morning. I'm about ready to call it a night." Hange nods. They take the pitcher and glasses inside. Marco grabs his guitar case and walks with Jean back to the little coach house.

He sets the case down in the corner next to the suitcase his family brought him. A new phone blinks on the side table. Marco swipes the screen. A text from Lily, from a few hours prior: _Just made it back to the island. Love you SO much! Call us if you need anything!!_

 _Thanks sis. Love you too!_ He types back.

Jean walks up behind him, wraps his arms around his waist and kisses the back of his neck.

"Can I see your sketches?" Marco asks excitedly.

"Uh...ok." Jean releases Marco and hands him the book with hesitation. He flips to the evening's pages. Every drawing is of Marco.

Marco laughs. "These are great." He smiles. "But I don't look this good in real life."

"Um...yeah, you do," Jean corrects him. He enjoys seeing Marco blush beneath his constellations of freckles. "And these really don't do you justice." He takes the sketchbook back and lays it on the table. He sits on the bed and Marco sits next to him.

Kissing Jean is electric, Marco thinks. Then he realizes: it's the shift. He sighs heavily.

"Hey, it's ok," Jean says.

Marco pulls off his clothes. Jean smiles at him, sitting naked on the bed. He kisses Jean again and surrenders to the transformation, his bones stinging. Maybe it won't take long, he thinks, before he can get back to where he was before his capture. So close to stable. Jean is stable and bright, and it feels good to Marco just to be near him. Marco licks Jean's face. His tail thwacks happily against the sheets. Jean laughs and rubs Marco's ears.

**

I'm so glad this isn't real money, Marlowe thinks. Hitch chuckles greedily and scoops up all the poker chips. Her corner of the table is loaded with them.

"One more hand," Reiner insists. He gathers up the cards and deals them again. The mostly-ignored TV on the wall behind them has switched to commercials. Marlowe flips through the channels. When he stops, Bert recognizes the film: the 1977 version of _The Island of Dr. Moreau_.

"Um...can we...watch something else?" Bert asks uneasily.

"Oh. Sure." Marlowe flicks to the next channel. _Planet of the Apes_.

"Keep going?"

Marlowe clicks the remote again. Godzilla kicks over a building. "This is ok," Bert says contentedly.

"Yesss," Annie grunts. The eight ball sinks into the corner pocket. She turns around and gives Armin a loud, clacking high-five. "Another victory for Team Blonde!"

Armin's hand stings. He won't admit it. Eren scowls from across the table.

Mikasa looks at him. She senses an epic mope coming on. "Eat something, you'll feel better." He groans. She's right. They lean their pool cues against the table.

The fruits of the evening's baking lie across the kitchen table: plates of cookies and a red velvet cake. Armin plucks a macaroon from a plate and looks at it serenely.

"I could eat coconut until I die," he says.

"Yeah," Eren says, nodding. "Me too." He gives Armin a mischievous look. Armin rolls his eyes and walks back into the living room, blushing.

Annie slices two pieces of cake for herself and Mikasa. They sit on the couch behind the poker game. Annie glances over at Armin, wearing a soft gray jersey skirt with his forest green sweatshirt. "We ought to take Armin shopping for his birthday," she whispers to Mikasa. Mikasa's face lights up with a grin.

Reiner slaps his cards down on the table. "I fold." Bertolt and Marlowe grumble. Hitch balances a poker chip on her fingers, flicks it into the air, and catches it.

Annie leans back into the couch cushions. "I hit seven days today," she says.

"Already?" Armin asks.

"I've been testing it," she says. "I'm so tired, though. I probably ought to shift soon. I don't want to push it."

"How are you tired?" Eren asks between bites of cake. "Didn't you sleep all day?"

Annie glares at him. "Eren. You're not a cat."

Mikasa steps in. "Eren, you'd sleep all day too, if you didn't have cross country practice. Or Armin to distract you."

Eren pouts.

"What are you up to now, Mika?" Hitch sits back down with a cookie on a paper towel.

"Two weeks is my maximum," she says. "But I've been trying to shift before I go to bed at night. To keep the balance, in case I need to stay human for something later. Not that I even know what."

"Well, you never know," Bert says forlornly. If there's anything the lab kids know, it's that life can take unexpected turns.

"You still don't feel the vortex yet?" Annie asks. Ymir had at first seemed loathe to talk to the vet techs. Eventually, she opened up to their questions.

"No," Mikasa shakes her head. "I still feel the same. I just have to keep watching for it, I guess." She sighs. "I kind of wish I could talk to Ymir about it."

"Mr. Smith said she might have a sponsor," Armin says. "One of his old students."

"Honestly," Annie says, "I thought she was super creepy." She sets her cake plate back on the table. "I mean, her current was kinda' cool, and she knew a lot about stability, but I'm not sure I'd want her staying at my house."

Reiner looks at Bert. "You know, back in the labs, there were rumors about a woman who broke out. I kinda' wonder if that was her."

Bert shrugs. "Wouldn't surprise me."

"How would you even do that?" Marlowe asks. "Mom said it took her almost a year to figure out how to get y'all out."

Bert goes quiet for a minute. "It sounded like a suicide mission," he says. "Like this kind of crazy, all-or-nothing, last-ditch thing." His fingers leave prints in the condensation on his can of Coke. "That's what makes me think it was her, when Jean told us about this scheme Ymir came up with. Just this kind of...I don't know, fuck-it-all, kamikaze approach. Like it's kind of a miracle it worked. Like, I'm not so sure she was all that worried about whether Jean or Marco made it out or not."

"I don't know. Levi said he had to do something similar," Armin says. The others turn to him. Armin sighs. "He had to shift before I got to ask him about it. But I think that may just be the nature of the game."

Annie nods, then stretches. "I'm gonna' change," she says. She gets up. Mikasa follows her.

"Might as well," Reiner says. "I'm kinda' tired, too."

Eren and Armin sit with Hitch and Marlowe on the couch as Tokyo goes up in flames on the TV screen. Mikasa drapes herself around Eren's shoulders. He rubs her ears. She falls asleep purring. His other arm works its way around Armin's waist. Annie curls up in Armin's lap. The dog boys lie at Hitch and Marlowe's feet.

Armin leans into Eren and strokes Annie's fur. She rolls over onto her back, and he scratches her underneath her chin. He wonders what would have happened if he'd gotten to bring Levi inside, all those years ago.

**

The wolf pads silently into the living room. Krista gasps at the sight of Ymir's face. She kneels on the floor next to her. It's uncanny, Erwin thinks, to see such a small woman next to such a large, dangerous animal. Levi doesn't find it particularly strange. Erwin sits on the couch next to Levi.

"So, Ymir is what we call 'stable,'" Levi explains. Krista looks up at him, her arms wrapped around the wolf. Ymir shuts her eye and rests her head on Krista's shoulder. Krista runs her fingers through Ymir's soft, silvery fur. "When you asked to see her change, she could do it at will." Erwin notices the creak in Levi's voice, the mixture of jealousy and longing.

Krista looks concerned. "Wait...not all of you can do that?"

Levi shakes his head slowly. "It's...something of a special skill." He squints.

"It's a little bit like being able to run a marathon," Erwin adds. Levi turns to him. To Erwin's relief, Levi nods.

"Yes," he says. "It's something you have to...train up to, so to speak." He considers Ymir. "In most cases...the conditions for the training aren't always there."

"Oh my god...the rest of the staff...they can't control it, can they." Krista's voice has a tremor of horror.

"Now you see why they have to hide," Levi nearly whispers.

Krista turns to him, her eyes still damp. "What about you?"

Levi sighs. "I used to be very close," he says, his voice hollow. "I guess you could say...I took the equivalent of a crowbar to the shins." Krista cringes. "It's not so linear," Levi continues. "There are things you can do to people to throw them off track, destabilize them."

Krista sniffles. The wolf delicately licks a tear from her face, and Krista laughs in spite of herself. She gently touches the sutures on Ymir's face and shakes her head. "What happened to you?"

Erwin and Levi look at each other. Wasn't Ymir going to explain everything, after all?

"Your father shot her," Levi says plainly. Krista flinches. "She was trying to get away."

"Perhaps we'd better let Ymir give you the details on that," Erwin offers.

"Your father's what we call a 'buyer,' or a 'collector,'" Levi says.

Krista shudders with exasperation. "I don't even want to know what that means."

"I'm sure your best guess is close enough." Levi's voice isn't cruel, Erwin thinks, but there's an unavoidable bitterness to it.

Krista looks at the wolf. She sits down on the rug, and Ymir lays her head in Krista's lap. "So I guess they all belong to me now," she says weakly. She looks up at the men on the couch with an anguished expression. She throws her hands up and shakes her head. "My father left me _everything_."

"Seriously?" Levi recoils.

Krista nods and begins sobbing. She counts on her fingers. "He left me his house. He left me his car. He left me all of his money, and all of his stock," she wipes her face on the sleeve of her silk blouse, "and it's several _million_ dollars, by the way..." tears spill from the corners of her eyes; a shining trail streams from her nose. "He left me, not just the Blue Magnolia, but also the Shiganshina Bar and the Trost Brewery, which I didn't even know he owned!" Little trails of mascara line the sides of her face like war paint. "He even left me a boat! He had a boat! What am I going to do with a fucking boat?" The wolf whimpers and puts a paw on Krista's shoulder.

"He left all of it to you?" Levi asks. "Nothing to his other kids."

"No," she says with a look of terror.

"They're going to contest the will, aren't they," Erwin says.

"They _hate_ me," Krista sobs. 

"Jesus," Levi says. "I never realized how much he wanted to say 'fuck you' to his ex-wife. That might be the only admirable thing he's ever done." He folds his arms thoughtfully. "I guess it's the least he can do after pretending you didn't exist for twenty-odd years."

"I don't want any of it," Krista moans. "I never wanted anything to do with him. And now...I don't know what I'm going to do."

"That's exactly why you _should_ have it," Levi hisses. Krista looks startled. "The fact that you're not clamoring for it. You're going to make way better decisions with it than the others would."

Krista is slightly rocked at Levi's sudden surge of faith in her.

"Listen," he says coldly. "I knew your father from the auction that Ymir and I broke out of. He was careless, and cruel, and always on a power trip. He was a fucking idiot. But not about _this_. Not about his money." Levi stares at her piercingly. She can't break his gaze. "I bet you that entire inheritance he knew his life was going to shit, even if he didn't expect to die. He knew he was playing with fire." Levi's tone is menacing. "I'm sure he knew you hated him," Krista recoils at the words. "Oh, don't pretend," Levi snaps. "But even still. He knew you'd do way better by his fortune than any of his other kids would."

Krista stares at the floor.

"You hate them, don't you," Levi nearly spits.

Krista glares at him, shaking. She takes a deep breath. "All but one," she seethes. She's never admitted it. Something in her snaps. The tears flow again.

"Krista," Levi says sternly, gripping her shoulder. "Rod's other kids don't know about us." He nods toward the wolf. "They don't know about the auction. And it should stay that way."

Krista's eyes flash. "They can't help them," she says, looking into Ymir's face.

"Your dad ruined a lot of people's lives," Levi says, sinking back into the couch next to Erwin. "What you do with what he left you is up to you, but—"

"I could undo some of that damage, couldn't I," she says softly. She meets Levi's gaze again. His posture and expression soften. Krista sighs. "I just don't even know where to start."

"Do you have an attorney?" Erwin asks.

"No," she says despondently.

"I'll refer you to my friend Nile Dach. He does a lot of work with contested wills."

Levi scowls. "I thought you said Nile was a scumbag."

Erwin looks thoughtful. "Well...he is. But he's a fine attorney. Probably because he's such a scumbag." Erwin looks at Krista. "Nile's done legal work for me before," he says assuringly. "I wouldn't recommend him to you if I didn't think he'd do a fine job with a case this...complicated."

Krista nods, still overwhelmed.

"Krista," Erwin says gently, "Sell the businesses. Sell the house, the car, and the boat. Put yourself through law school." Ymir whines approvingly. "It's all going to work out. I have other friends who are helping shapeshifters hide. I can put you in touch with them. We'll figure this out."

You're such an optimist, Levi thinks. Ymir saunters out of the room. A moment later, she walks back in, human and dressed. She sits on the floor across from Krista.

"Oh, honey," she sighs. "I'm sorry to put you through all this." Krista looks into her human, golden-brown eyes. Ymir's expression becomes severe. "I offed your father," she says plainly, without remorse. "I'm sure they told you it was an accident. Well, I'm the one who pulled all the strings."

Krista sits silently, letting Ymir's admission sink in.

"Listen," Ymir says, with a weakness Levi can detect in her voice and her current, "if you never want to talk to me again, I understand. I just have one request, and that's a bus ticket to Minnesota."

Krista just stares, still speechless.

"And if you want to turn me in," Ymir's voice begins to sound haggard, "then I have a different request," she says with a little morbid laugh, "and that's a head start."

Krista begins to shake again. She glares at up at Ymir, her face a mess of tears. "Ymir, you can't you just _leave_! You can't just leave, now that I finally get the chance to _talk_ to you!" Krista wraps her arms around Ymir and buries her face in her chest. "You can't just go...now that I finally know who you are!" Krista sobs. "Please don't go..."

Ymir pulls Krista closer. She looks up at Erwin and Levi with an expression of pained gratitude, her current like a bonfire. This is what it means, Levi thinks, to be broken open.

**

"Thank you for everything," Krista says. She gives Erwin a hug goodnight. She hugs Levi, to his surprise. "Thank you," she tells him. In spite of himself, it feels good to be appreciated.

"If you need anything, feel free to call me," Erwin says.

"I probably will," Krista says sheepishly. She and Ymir step outside. Krista unlocks the car, and they step in. Before she turns on the ignition, she turns to Ymir and pulls her across the console for a long kiss. Ymir winds her fingers through Krista's long, soft hair; Krista runs her fingers down the back of Ymir's neck. Krista sighs heavily. "Let's go home." She starts the car.

**

Levi contemplates Erwin's noble silhouette in the dark. It feels good to press his body close to Erwin's, but after their nap on the couch, Levi finds it difficult to sleep. He doesn't want his tossing and turning to keep Erwin awake.

He presses the back door shut behind him and takes a deep breath of the fresh night air. It's a clear night, and the canopy of stars glows bright above the dark ocean. The wooden boards of the bridge creak softly under his feet as he makes his way toward the beach. In the cover of darkness, he takes off his clothes, lays them in the plastic shopping bag he brought with him, and wades out into the chilly surf.

He drifts on his back. He lets his eyes wander through the spray of stars overhead and takes a deep breath. He feels his own current spreading out beneath him, a luminous floor below, parallel to the luminous ceiling above. He feels completely weightless.

He loses track of time. Gently rocked by the waves, he feels himself spinning. Images, memories stream into his mind. He lets himself sink into his memories.

Something bright appears in his awareness. Levi opens his eyes. The beach is completely dark, except for the distant beam of a flashlight. He stands up, waist-deep in the water. He holds his hand over his eyes as the flashlight sweeps over him for a second. The light switches off. After a moment, Levi recognizes Erwin's silhouette at the edge of the water.

"I wondered where you went," the warm voice says.

"I didn't mean to worry you." Levi walks up closer to Erwin.

"I wasn't worried," Erwin says softly. "I figured you went for a walk, maybe. I couldn't sleep. Thought I might join you."

"Come swim with me," Levi says.

Erwin undresses and steps into the water. He shudders at the cold; Levi laughs. After a minute, he gets adjusted to the temperature. They wade in up to their chests. Erwin reaches for Levi. Buoyed by the water, he's as light as a feather. Levi wraps his legs around Erwin's waist, his arms around Erwin's shoulders. Erwin kisses him, and everything is silent except for the sound of their breathing and the constant waves.


	32. Let sleeping cats lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uri takes Kenny to Waffle House. Eren is beset with nightmares, Marco gets a job offer, and Erwin wrestles with doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really hoping to update sooner, but Christ on a stick, what an insane week it's been. I still plan to keep updating. Hopefully the world doesn't end before this slow, drawn-out story does.

The fluorescent lights of the Waffle House do nothing for them. They look as tired, haggard, and pale as they're ever going to look. Nonetheless, Uri thinks, there's nobody he'd rather be sitting with at three in the morning than Kenny. Uri's long since given up on trying to convince Kenny to take off his hat indoors. By now, he has no trouble guessing what expression Kenny's making under the shadow of its brim.

The waitress shuffles over. "Y'all know what you want?"

"Yes ma'am," Uri says endearingly. He orders an enormous pile of hash browns.

"Blueberry waffles," Kenny mutters. Uri smiles. Sweets don't agree with the cats. They love them anyway.

"All right, I got you." She turns back to the counter.

"Oh, Pearl?" Uri asks. "Can we get some more coffee?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart." Pearl has a gap-toothed smile, loves Uri like a son, and has been helping him move his wares for years. She refills the two chipped mugs.

You could just about de-grease car parts with this stuff, Kenny thinks. He doesn't care. He reaches for the glass jar of sugar and helps himself. Chatter fills the restaurant. The air is heavy with the smells of cigarette smoke and maple syrup. Little flocks of drunk students, off-duty cops, truck drivers, a couple of tired EMTs, and what looks to be a writer having an existential crisis populate the tables. No unusual currents, from what Kenny can sense. He looks at Uri. For a man who owns one of the nicest restaurants in town, he sure has a soft spot for places with sticky floors and shitty coffee, Kenny thinks. Not that he's complaining.

"Don't go to this thing on Sunday," Kenny implores. A distraught Frieda had called them the night before to tell them about Rod's funeral. Uri has no intention to tell her that he's the one who found Rod dead in the first place. The less they know, the better.

"Kenny. This is what humans do, even if they don't like each other. You go to family funerals. You just do."

Kenny's face contorts.

"It's gonna' be a lot more suspicious if I don't go," Uri says. He takes a sip from the cup of black acid.

"Uri, it's not even a real investigation, " Kenny growls. He's at his wit's end, waiting for the police with ties to the auction to leave Uri's property. Since they found the bodies, he's been adrift, only coming near the house in his cat form. "Nobody even suspects you. They're just trying to figure out what you know and cover their own asses."

"I know, Ken," Uri says gently. "It's not the police I'm concerned about. I don't want to stir anything up with Rod's kids."

Kenny gives his distinctive Ackerman eye-roll. Uri wonders whether it's a mannerism he picked up from his nephew, or vice versa.

Uri smiles dryly. "You know, I just can't help but think, if you hadn't gone after Levi, you might have had a better place to hide while all this blows over," Uri teases. Uri finds Kenny's vengeful nature endearing. Levi suspects it's because he's never been on the receiving end of it.

Pearl sets down two steaming plates. Kenny glares at Uri across the little mountains of food.

"I don't remember you trying to stop me."

Uri sets down his coffee mug. "I asked you to make him an offer, and you said you were 'going to give him a piece of your mind.' Now that could have meant anything."

"You knew what I meant."

Uri raises an eyebrow. "So I'm a mind reader after all these years?" His foot brushes Kenny's under the table. He grins. "What do I always say?"

"Burn houses, not bridges," he mutters. It's been Uri's motto for years.

"Ken," Uri reaches for Kenny's gnarled hand, covered in silver and turquoise rings. "Levi's not gonna' snitch. Nobody's gonna' find either of you." Kenny scowls into his waffles. "Kenny. Even you couldn't get to him. What makes you think these auction half-wits are gonna' do better than you did?" Uri gives Kenny's hand a squeeze. Kenny sighs begrudgingly. Uri knows: the first words Lovoff had for Kenny and Levi were 'where are the others.' Each truthful 'we don't know,' and 'there are no others' was met with a different kind of pain, still etched into both of their bodies.

Kenny drenches the waffles in syrup and tries to conceal his contentment at the appearance of the food. But Uri knows that, too. For such a bitter man, you sure do love sweet foods, Uri thinks.

"Don't go to this thing on Sunday," Kenny says plainly, between bites of waffle.

"Why not?" Uri's mind is made up, but his voice is sincere.

"Too many auction people," Kenny spits.

Uri looks thoughtful. "You don't think we'd both be safer if I knew who more of them are?" Kenny gives him an exasperated look. "There's no way I'd bring you," Uri says. "But it might be good if I knew who more of these folks are, especially if I ever end up doing business with them."

Kenny groans. He just wants Uri to stay home. And bring him back. "I don't want you to have anything to do with them."

"Ken, how can I know to avoid them if I don't even know who they are?"

Kenny's logic is failing him. His distress is becoming apparent.

"Just let me go find out who else we gotta' stay away from," Uri says reassuringly. "And I'll come get you afterwards."

They eat their food calmly. When Pearl brings the check, the little folder conceals a fat envelope, stuffed with cash. Uri slips it discreetly into his jacket pocket.

**

Levi holds Erwin's hand as they walk back to the house, sleepy and quiet as the sand crushes under their feet. They dump their clothes in the washing machine. Erwin turns on the shower and washes the salt and sand off of their bodies.

Levi doesn't protest when Erwin reaches for him. No snarky quips or comments. He lets his eyes drift shut as Erwin's hands drift across him. The salt long gone, Erwin starts with Levi's shoulders and neck, soapy hands massaging out the knots in the dense cords of Levi's muscles.

Levi breathes deeply as the hot water pours over him, Erwin’s hands finding every inch of him, seeking out every little point of tension. Such attention to detail, he feels as though Erwin is building him out of clay.

Levi opens his eyes slowly, pale blue hidden behind a few dark strings of hair that hang in his face. "Why did you do that," he whispers.

Erwin shrugs. "I just felt like it." He brushes Levi's hair off of his face, leans down, and gives him another kiss. Do I need an excuse to touch you everywhere, Erwin wonders.

Levi leans his head against Erwin’s chest. The thin layer of soapy water makes their skin soft, their bodies sleek to the touch. Levi drapes his arms around Erwin’s waist, almost too drowsy to stand.

Erwin finally shuts off the water and pulls two warm towels from the dryer. Levi saunters half-awake into the bedroom and collapses into Erwin's arms. A rich, heavy sleep claims them almost instantly.

**

Eren's body spasms, then goes suddenly rigid. He sits bolt upright in the dark, shaking Armin awake. His heart pounds. He takes a few short, sharp, breaths. Mikasa's ears prick up. Annie opens her green eye. The two cats lie in a little furry yin-yang on the couch downstairs. They're sensitive to noise. But it's the sudden shift in Eren that Mikasa notices. After so many years of living together, he's become the easiest human she can read.

"Eren?" Armin pushes himself up. His hands find Eren's waist, still heaving. Their skin is hot from the blankets.

"I'm ok," Eren whispers, out of breath. He turns and rests his head on Armin's shoulder. Armin notices his cheeks are damp.

Armin lies back down and pulls Eren on top of him. He winds his fingers through Eren's hair and strokes Eren's back until his breathing slows to normal.

"What happened?" Armin asks. Eren's been prone to nightmares since they were children. They've tapered off, but on occasion, Eren still descends into unique nocturnal hells.

Eren lies still. It must have been bad, Armin thinks. Normally Eren's quick to recount the string of horrors. Eren grips Armin tighter.

"What's wrong?" Armin whispers after a minute.

Eren groans. "I don't even want to say it."

"It's ok," Armin says. "We can just go back to sleep."

Eren sighs and lies quiet for a moment. "This one was...really real," he admits. Not the usual, near-psychedelic suite of monsters.

"Yeah?"

Eren takes a pained breath. "I was with you. We were both shifters." His throat tightens. "We were at some kind of weird party. There was a fight going on..." He shudders slightly. "I dreamed...there was a fire..." He bites his lip. "I saw you burn to death," his voice cracks and weakens. It's the worst nightmare he's ever had.

Armin just breathes deeply, letting Eren's body relax. "I'm not going anywhere," Armin whispers. Eren sniffles. Armin kisses Eren's forehead; his hands lie protectively on Eren's back.

Mikasa noses the door open silently. Annie follows her. The two cats jump up onto the bed and mew curiously. Mikasa purrs into Eren's ear.

"Hey Mika," he says quietly. He reaches out a hand to stroke her head. Annie nuzzles Armin. "I'm ok," Eren tells the cats. Mikasa paws his shoulder: her shorthand for 'should I stay?'

"Yeah," Eren says. "Y'all can stay."

Annie curls up on the pillow. Her fur tickles Armin's cheek. Mikasa lies by Eren's side. The cats in the room have a subtle but soothing effect on Eren.

Adrenaline still pulses nauseatingly through him, the horrible image of Armin branded into his mind. Armin is fidgety with concern. He listens to the low sound of Annie's purring and Eren's slowing, deepening breaths. When they finally fall back asleep, they have benign, watery dreams; images that disappear into mist, and leave no trace when they wake up.

**

The chime of Erwin's alarm clock is not a particularly offensive sound. But when it rings on Saturday morning, he's ready to sweep it off the night table and onto the floor. He sits up with a groan. Levi remains profoundly asleep. It makes Erwin smile to see him looking so serene. He considers waking Levi. He decides it's better to let sleeping cats lie.

He catches his reflection in the mirror above the dresser and realizes his hair is completely sticking up on one side. That's what you get, he thinks, for going to bed with it wet. He pats it down with water from the sink. No luck. A cowlick like little blonde cathedral spires points stubbornly up the side of his head. He steps into the shower and drenches his hair completely. There, he thinks. That's better.

Erwin puts on his running clothes and leans over the bed to kiss Levi's cheek. The cool tendrils of Erwin's wet hair gently graze Levi's face. Levi half opens his eyes, still hidden behind the dark screen of his eyelashes.

"I'll see you in a little bit," Erwin whispers. He runs his hand through Levi's hair. Levi gives a little half-awake groan and a faint smile before he falls back asleep.

Erwin turns off the radio in the car and listens to the silence.

'You love him, don't you,' Ymir had asked Levi. And Levi responded with a defensiveness that had made Ymir laugh.

Erwin feels a contraction in his chest. He wants it to be true. And he believes it. But it's been hardly more than a week since Levi appeared as human, and Erwin finds the intensity of his attachment to Levi unnerving. He remembers something Nanaba told him once: "Good things happen slowly. Old-growth forests. Canyons. Great works of art. Bad things happen quickly. Earthquakes. Car wrecks. House fires."

Erwin sighs. He had met Marie in during their masters' programs, his is teaching, hers in library science. They became friends in fits and starts, running into each other over and over, discovering a network of mutual friends. They'd been friends for years before they even started dating. She'd been his confidante. He pulls up to a stoplight and a profound heaviness sinks into him. He could tell her anything. The fact that all the inner turmoil she'd suffered with for so long could only come to the surface in the past year crushes him.

The light turns green and he thinks of Levi. Bad things happen quickly, Nan's voice echoes in his head. Is it always true? Erwin squints and tries to focus on the road. But Levi had courted him for weeks, hadn't he? Erwin remembers sitting on the edge of his bed, sorting through a little stack of photos he kept hidden in a drawer, the ones he couldn't yet bear to throw away. The cat just sat next to him, purring, not leaving his side. When he stared despondently up at the living room ceiling, lying on the couch, soaking in remorse, the cat had lain on his chest. Levi knew Erwin was grieving. Erwin hated the silence, but Levi had provided a constant rumble of purring to help break it.

Maybe it's not such a flash-in-the-pan ordeal, Erwin thinks; not like the sudden, ill-fated infatuations he and Marie had watched each other suffer through. The school parking lot is mostly empty on a Saturday. A handful of cars bearing "Titans Cross Country" stickers sit scattered across it. Erwin hears his footsteps echo across the pavement, Levi's face still in his mind. It is early to tell. He can't pretend otherwise. He doesn't want to kid himself. But maybe, he thinks, he's been ready for Levi for a long time.

**

Marco smiles at the dirt. He's not surprised a chemist and a biologist have such a spectacular garden. Most of the lawn lies in the shade of an enormous pecan tree, but the edges host a profusion of vegetables. Huge, fat tomatoes hang precariously from their little green branches. Marco puts on the extra set of gardening gloves and helps Moblit pull weeds before the day gets too hot. It's pleasantly repetitive. Jean stands on the porch nearby with his easel set up, photos and sketches spread all around him. Marco and Moblit's gloved hands quickly turn dark with dirt; Jean is already a mess of charcoal.

Hange has long since left to coach her runners when Krista pulls up in the driveway. She and Ymir step out of the car in crisp blouses and pencil skirts. Krista waves to Moblit through the gate to the yard. He knows the tiny blonde woman can only be the former student Hange has been exchanging messages with. He pulls off a glove to shake her hand.

"Krista, it's nice to meet you. Y'all come on in."

She steps daintily through the thick grass. Ymir walks slowly and fluidly, an unmistakable echo of her wolf nature.

Marco lays his gloves on the patio table.

"Hi," Krista says awkwardly, unsure of where to start. "Um...I owe you an apology," she says. "And a lot of money."

Marco shakes his head. "It's really not your fault," he says.

Krista sighs heavily. "I know it's...not really ideal," her voice is strained. "But would you...consider bartending for me again?"

Marco smiles. Hange had asked him if Krista could come by the house, but she didn't say about what. "Yeah," he says softly. "I'd be happy to." Ymir gives him a satisfied grin. "I need a job as it is."

Krista hesitates, then suddenly throws her arms around Marco. "Thank you." If her body were capable of producing tears, she'd be crying. "We're so short staffed...I don't know what I'm gonna' do." She draws back. "I'm so sorry about everything." She throws her hands up. "I wish I could have done something sooner."

"You couldn't have known," Marco says.

"I'm just...really glad you're ok." She glances at the drawing taking shape on Jean's easel, then back at Marco. "I'm going to rent some apartments for the other staff," she says, "if you need a place to stay. I figured it's the least I can do."

Jean and Marco look at each other. As much as Jean loves having Marco in his bed, the little coach house is unsustainably cramped.

"Yeah, that's...a possibility." Marco looks thoughtful.

While Marco changes clothes in Jean's apartment, Krista watches Jean work. So he's the horse, she thinks. She can kind of see it: his long, square-jawed face with the bleached overcut hanging in his eyes like a forelock. On the page in front of him, twisting figures of birds with overlapping black and white wings occupy the sky above a sort of labyrinthine walled city below.

"That's really beautiful," Krista says.

"Thanks." Jean means it. Then he adds wryly, "You're not looking to buy any new art for the restaurant, are you?"

"Yeah, actually. It'd be nice to update it." And it's not like she can't afford it, she thinks.

Jean stands still for a moment, surprised at Krista's guileless response. "Oh, um..." he rifles through the stack of reference photos and finds one of his postcards. "I'm having an opening this week. If you're interested."

Krista studies the images. "Yeah, if I can get off work, I'd love to come."

Marco walks back down the stone path, looking a little more polished, free from the garden dirt.

"Hey, uh...if you guys are driving that way anyways...would you mind giving me a ride?" Jean asks sheepishly. The converted warehouse studio he sometimes works in is a stone's throw from the restaurant.

Krista readily agrees, but Ymir crosses her arms impatiently as Jean loads what looks like a tackle box full of oil paint and a roll of unstretched canvas into the car. The trunk is full of shopping bags from clothing stores. They've clearly just bought the outfit Ymir is wearing. Welcome back to society, Jean thinks as he shuts the door with a loud clunk. He reaches to text an uninitiated human friend to meet him at the studio rather than picking him up, but when he swipes open his phone, he sees a missed call from his foster mother. He listens to the voicemail.

"Hi Jean-bo, it's your Mee-Maw," the message starts. Yes, he thinks, I know. You're literally the only person who leaves me voicemails. A long report follows: Paw-Paw's going to have to have his knee replaced; Mrs. Gallagher from the artists' retreat is in my water aerobics class; I showed the bridge club some of your artwork, they just thought it was the greatest thing. It's so endearing and so insufferably annoying at the same time, Jean thinks. But deep down, he appreciates the consideration.

"We were so disappointed," the recorded voice says. "We thought we had a buyer for the ranch, but it fell through."

Jean's face falls.

"What's the matter?" Marco asks.

"The buyer for the ranch fell through." He saves the message and shoves his phone back in his pocket. "You're not looking to buy some real estate, are you?" He asks Krista facetiously.

She ponders for a moment. The more Ymir told her about the world of the shifters, the more clearly an image of a sanctuary had flickered through Krista's mind. "Maybe," she says thoughtfully.

Jean and Marco look at each other.


	33. Hide in plain sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi experiments with his shifting abilities. An impromptu team lunch spares Armin the anguish of seeing his mother.

The house is silent when Levi wakes up. He can't remember when he's slept so well. He stretches out under the blankets. His muscles are faintly sore from Erwin's massage; tender but not tense. Erwin's side of the bed is cool.

On the night table a gold-edged envelope of money from Carla lies tucked into the cover of Josephine's book. Levi has no wallet. The wedding is today, he remembers. He's never been to a wedding.

He looks at his reflection in the mirror above the dresser. The stark white sheets make his skin look darker, he thinks. Erwin is miles away running, but the glow Levi feels with him saturates the room. He takes a deep breath and lets his eyes unfocus. His current has an astonishing clarity to it. It spreads out behind him. He perceives it easily. Levi looks at himself and remembers paintings from a museum. Great halos encircled saints and angels; Eastern gods sat against pillars of flames and sprawling mandalas. His own current feels clear, but not soft. Light, but pointed. Not so much like Mikasa's candle-like halo, but perhaps something more like wings.

He feels a surge of jealousy towards Ymir. She transformed so beautifully. No haphazard collapse, but a finely tuned rotation. Levi shuts his eyes and tries to feel. The current feels so flat, like a panel of stained glass glowing behind him. He lets himself soak up the warmth of the resonance for a moment. He rests on it. It pulls him into a deeper awareness. How do you rotate something flat, he wonders. Can you rotate without circularity?

Then, he knows. Not vertically, like a clock. Horizontally, like a weather vane.

Go a level up, Levi thinks.

Ymir was so stable. Another wave of knowing comes: to be stable, you must have something to rest on. Levi sits in the resonance like a little gold cloud. She said to use it, didn't she? Rotation requires a point of origin. Levi feels the plane of light behind him and wills it to turn, like the glass plate of a revolving door. He senses nothing. He lets go. Maybe it will turn on its own accord. He sits in a deep meditation for a few more minutes. Gradually, a sense of movement emerges.

The phone rings. Levi's concentration shatters like glass. He's immediately back in the room. He picks up the handset from the dresser. He doesn't recognize the caller ID. It's not until he returns the phone to its dock that he notices the claws on his right hand. He freezes and feels his current again. A tension twists the flat plane forward. He feels resistance, like pulling a balloon under water. When he exhales, he feels a snap. The glowing plane clicks back into place. He takes a deep breath. His hand is human again.

Levi sits back on the bed and shuts his eyes. He lets himself breathe evenly until he loses awareness of the room. Come on, he thinks. Rotate. Nothing. Just the fiery wall of light behind him, pointing towards heaven. Ah, he realizes. Nothing to rest on. He becomes aware of the resonance again, the distinctive quality that reminds him of Erwin. Bring the change forward, he thinks. Out of the symbolic, into the physical. Something of the cat appears, something of the human disappears...

He gets a blinding, splitting headache.

When he rubs his face, one hand has claws again. He opens his eyes and sighs. He feels the click. The claws vanish. This is enough for one day. He gets dressed and makes himself tea with a big scoop of valerian in it.

**

Armin's head rests against the locker. He gazes mournfully at his phone and groans. Two missed calls from his mom, one text. It's not an invitation to lunch, it's a demand. A foregone conclusion: you're coming. Then a text from his grandfather. _Armin, your mother wants to know if you're coming to lunch_. The family diplomat, Armin thinks.

"What's wrong?" Eren pulls on a clean, dry shirt.

"Lunch with my mom and my uncles," Armin mutters like declaring a prison sentence.

"Don't go," Eren says. He thinks for a minute. "Tell them you have a team lunch and you have to go."

Connie spins around. "What? Team lunch?" His eyes shine.

Armin sighs. "No, just trying to get out of a family thing."

"We should do a team lunch," Eren says.

Connie's eyes widen. "We could go to Holy Molé!" His voice palpitates with excitement.

Eren snaps his fingers and points at Connie. "Now that is a good idea."

Erwin is about to leave the locker room when Connie shouts, "Hey, Coach Smith! Can we do a team lunch?"

Erwin pauses. He supposes his errands can wait until tomorrow. Levi's not expecting him back at the house for a while as it is. "I don't see why not."

"Yesss..." comes the refrain from the boys in various states of half-dress. Connie throws on his shirt, slips on his shoes, mashing down the backs of them, and skitters into the hallway. "Team lunch!" he yells, like a tribal rallying cry.

"Team lunch!" Sasha's voice echoes from the women's locker room.

"Team lunch!" More voices shout, like a deranged game of Marco Polo. It's decided, then.

Armin squints at his phone in frustration as they make their way to the parking lot.

"God, why can't I just tell her I don't want to go?" He moans. Erwin and Hange give him concerned glances.

"Maybe because you don't want her to pitch some fit about you being ungrateful? Or some BS like that?" Eren offers.

Eren's right and Armin hates it. He slouches as he walks. His damp hair hangs loosely above his shoulders, freed from the half-ponytail he keeps in in while running.

"Where are they going, anyway?" Eren asks.

"Blue Magnolia."

"Aw," Eren stops in his tracks. "I love that place."

"Yeah, so do I," Armin admits.

"But no amount of fried green tomatoes is gonna' make lunch with your mom worth it," Eren says plainly.

Armin looks at the sky and lets out an other agonized groan.

Erwin wonders how much more there is to the Arlerts' story than what he heard from Levi. Hard to say, when everyone is so masterful at keeping secrets. "You know," he says, "if it's causing you this much stress to say no to something, that's probably a sign that spending time with this person isn't good for you."

Armin nods. The affirmation makes him want to cry. He looks at his phone again. He has a long, rambling text typed out about the team lunch. He's so sorry he can't make it, the text reads. Armin deletes all of it. _Just tell her I'm not coming_ , he types. He pauses. _Thanks Grandpa_ , he adds. He hits send and immediately feels an adrenaline spike. He shoves his phone back in his pocket and grabs Eren's hand.

**

The host swallows hard when he sees the pack of runners file into the restaurant.

"Do you have a table for seventeen?" Hange asks excitedly.

"Give me just a minute," he says.

The place is aptly named, Erwin thinks. A mural of Aztec gods gazes down at him, mysterious and sinister. In any case, the room smells divine.

A waitress in a patterned tunic walks out of the kitchen carrying the largest burrito Erwin's ever seen. Then he notices the colorful chalk sign by the door. Here, they're just called burros.

"I'm getting one," Sasha declares. She rubs her hands together and stares at the giant food as it disappears through the doors to the patio.

The hosts ushers them onto the shaded deck.

"We're going to need separate checks," Erwin says apologetically. The man nods. Erwin sits next to Hange at the end of the long table; Eren and Armin sit across from them.

Armin melts into the teak chair, his face propped on his hands.

Hange resists the temptation to order a margarita. She settles for a bucket of iced tea instead. She wishes they would put an umbrella or a crepe-paper parrot in it, but she's not going to ask for one. Erwin notices a tequila special on the menu that he would have found rather appealing in his younger days. Then he spots the fish tacos. He wonders if Levi would like this place. Eren is hungry enough for a whole burro. Armin's appetite has gone quiet.

"What's the matter?" Eren rubs Armin's back.

"Just feel like a fucking coward," Armin says, quietly enough that he thinks the others don't hear. "So I'm willing to be an accessory to murder," he mutters to Eren, "but I can't even go to lunch with my own mother. Great." He lets his hands drop to the table. Erwin and Hange look at each other.

"I'm afraid of your mom, too, if it makes you feel any better," Eren says.

Armin laughs. "It doesn't, but thanks."

"She's mean as hell," Eren continues. Armin rakes his fingers through his hair and massages his scalp.

"It's not wrong to not want to spend time with people who hurt you, you know," Erwin mentions. "No matter how ostensibly nice they may be in the moment." He immediately feels he's overstepped his bounds. Armin doesn't know how much Erwin knows. But he's glad Erwin at least knows something is wrong. Less to explain.

"But she's not even actually nice," Eren continues. "Like, she'll buy you stuff you don't ask for, and then get upset if you're not 'happy enough' about it. It's weird stuff like that." It's the source of half of Armin's closet.

Armin shudders. "I'd rather go out to lunch with half the auction," he says with a twinge of bitter despair.

A waitress sets a basin of tortilla chips between them. She pauses for a moment when she sees Erwin, then resumes setting massive, sweating glasses of water on the table. She could have sworn he was a shifter. Of course not, she thinks; no reason a shifter adult would be with a group of human kids like this. Unless the lady in glasses sponsors him? She tunes in again on her walk back to the kitchen. No, he's human for sure. But uncommonly bright. Two glossy Xoloitzcuintli dogs lie in the cool stream of a fan on the floor of the little office in the back of the restaurant, waiting for their shift to begin. Their clothes lie folded neatly on a shelf. A soccer match blares from a TV set in the corner.

The team dives into the chips with no mercy and the air is loud with crunching. Hange's phone dings.

"Aw, Marco got his job back," she says. "Krista came by the house this morning," she explains. "I just missed her. Moblit says she took Marco to work and Jean to his studio."

"Maybe he'll put some Valium in your mom's drink or something," Eren says.

"Eren!" Hange scolds.

Eren shrugs and grabs another chip.

"I still need to talk to Pixis," Erwin says. "Hearing you talk about Marco reminds me."

"About Levi?" Eren asks, balancing a precarious load of salsa that threatens to spill into his hand.

Erwin nods. "Didn't have the time to this week. I'm still trying to find something for Levi to do."

"Well, if he just needs to get out of the house, sounds like Krista would be happy to have him," Hange says, looking up from her phone again.

Erwin chuckles. "That's a possibility. Though I can't imagine Levi being a very...personable waiter. Or bartender."

"You could talk to Petra and Oulo," she says. "Though there's the whole explanation part."

"Yeah," Erwin sighs. "We're supposed to see them tonight, if all goes according to plan."

The waitress comes back to take their orders. Hange looks thoughtful. "You know," she says as the woman leaves, "I always wonder. Everywhere I go, I just wonder who they are."

"I do to," Armin says.

Erwin squints. "Is there a name for this whole...network? As opposed to the auction?"

Eren shrugs. "Dad calls it the Golden Isles Animal Clinic sometimes. Usually on the phone. I guess it helps 'cause it's a real place."

"Yeah. What do you call something that hides in plain sight," Erwin muses.

"Well. The auction does that too." Armin reaches for the salsa bowl.

"True," Erwin concedes. His expression darkens. "I wonder who they are, too." He takes a long, slow sip of water. It's unnerving to think that anyone he knows could be in on either side of this.

"Dad said Reiss was one of his patients," Eren chips in. "He didn't know until Levi told him."

Armin looks down the table at the others talking animatedly and decimating the baskets of chips. They seem distracted enough. "Sometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall at one of the auction parties. I mean, not just to see who everyone is. But to see how they even think about it. How they reason it out."

"From what Levi's told me, they sound like pretty vile affairs," Erwin says.

Enormous plastic glasses clunk against the table. Armin slips a straw out of its wrapper and folds it in into a little paper star.

"High production value, though," Hange adds blithely. "From what I hear." She stirs her tea with her straw.

"How do you even get involved in it, though?" Erwin asks. "Do you just have to know someone who knows someone?"

"I don't know if it's still like this, but according to Dot, they used to have literal calling cards. First names only, usually fake names, and alternate phone numbers, and that's it." She shrugs. "It's all word of mouth. Unless they have some kind of network we don't know about."

"I dunno," Eren says. "From what Dad says, they're as paranoid about getting found out as we are. But they probably have some kind of code or something they use to announce things."

"Yeah," Armin says. "That's what I would want to find out."

"Has there been another bust since the Pixis heyday?" Erwin asks.

"Not to my knowledge," Hange says. "I suppose there could have been. If someone planned it right, I suppose there could always be another one."

**

The more Levi reads from Josephine's book, the more he wonders what it would sound like in her native German. Well, he thinks, you could always find out, couldn't you? He brings Erwin's laptop out to the porch and opens the word processor, opens a German to English dictionary in a browser window, cracks his knuckles, takes a sip of tea, and re-reads the first paragraph of the introduction. She wrote well in English, Levi thinks, but with a very clipped, Germanic turn of phrase. It was when she spoke German that she seemed the most like herself. After the book shop closed at night and Josephine's last client left, Kuchel and Levi swept the floors and dusted the shelves. They chatted about everything from petty gossip from the customers to human nature and concepts of the divine. Josephine would make them all tea, and Kuchel read the leaves.

Levi finds the words easily, but the typing is slow. He's so rarely at a keyboard, it takes him an awkward half-hour to adjust and fall into a rhythm. As he types, he sees her gestures; an emphatic beat, a glance of suspicion, a little wry smile when she makes a point. He runs his thumb over the page, her voice still alive in his mind. It's the closest he'll get to bringing her back to life.

The back porch door opens gently. Levi looks up from the screen.

"Whatcha' workin' on?" Erwin asks amusedly.

Levi holds up the book. "This sounds a lot better in German than English."

Erwin smiles and sits next to Levi on the couch. "I wonder if Nan can help you find some translation work."

"I'd probably have to pretend to be you," Levi says. "Use your name, anyways."

Erwin laughs. "My German is awful."

"But you do know some, right? Like it's not out of the question if anyone asked?"

"I passed a reading exam in graduate school." Erwin regrets that the bulk of his memories from German-speaking countries are soaked in alcohol.

"Might be enough," Levi says.

"You'll have to tutor me." Erwin grins.

"I see. I know you're a teacher, but what kind of student are you?" Levi smirks.

"Trust me," Erwin says. "I love school."

Levi holds himself back. He almost says 'Ich liebe dich' for the first time since Farlan passed. Instead he just wraps his arms around Erwin.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I just missed you," Levi says into Erwin's chest.

Erwin kisses the top of Levi's head. "I was only gone for a few hours."

Levi looks sharply up at Erwin. "So?"


	34. The spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finally says farewell to his departed family. Meanwhile, Erwin experiences unexpected visions.

Chaos reigns on a Saturday. Ymir doesn't care. She glides through the bustling restaurant with an easy, cool authority, her face in an amused little smirk. She seats table after table.

To an outside observer, nothing has changed. But Ymir notices it. The other staff move with more intention and urgency. The zeal of people who have a renewed lease on life. The give-a-shit factor of people who are actually getting paid. Marco deposits tall drinks on a table and flashes his million-dollar smile.

Krista sits in the back corner of the mezzanine, away from the diners, and scowls at her laptop. So that's where the money went, she realizes. She looks at a stack of bank statements in front of her. She looks at the restaurant payroll screen. The numbers add up. She squints. She clicks. Everyone's getting a raise and weeks' worth of back wages. Dozens of browser tabs scrunch onto her screen. All Savannah real estate listings, all apartments, except for one: a ranch house, forty minutes outside of town.

**

Erwin rests his hands on Levi's waist. "How are you feeling? Transition-wise, I mean?"

Levi shrugs. His current feels like a wall. "Fine, I guess," he sighs. "I feel better, but I still can't predict it." I'd give anything to just fucking know, he thinks. He wonders whether to mention the strange rotation from earlier. He decides to wait.

"If this is too much today, let me know, ok? Petra and Oulo will understand if we have to cancel."

Levi nods.

Erwin looks thoughtful. "Should I tell them?" He asks cautiously.

"No," Levi looks at the floorboards of the porch. "We've had enough revelations for one weekend." He feels a knot in his stomach. It's not just that he wants to avoid the drama. He'd like to pretend to be human for a night. No looks of horror or pity. He wants to know how they would really see him.

"What should we tell them if you have to go?"

"We can get away with a family emergency at least once," Levi looks back up at Erwin. "I can fake getting a phone call and just shift in the car."

"If you say so." Erwin smiles. He notices Levi is clutching him unusually tightly. "You ready?"

"Yeah." Levi shuts the computer, lays it and the book on the desk, and joins Erwin in the car.

Levi gazes out the passenger window, lost in thought. Carla's masterpieces lie in a paper shopping bag in the back seat. "Thanks for doing this," Levi mutters, distant.

"Of course," Erwin says.

Swaying marsh grass and great, elaborate cages of ancient oaks drift past them. Levi is silent for most of the ride. Erwin decides not to bother him.

"I've always liked the trees here," Levi says as they pass the ruins of a plantation. Erwin smiles at the unprompted admission. On the worst days, when Levi sat alone in the woods by the river, or in the heart of the park by the beach, tired and thirsty, too often naked—he came back to the trees. "I thought I was going to die the day I found your house," he says.  
Erwin looks concerned. Levi thinks of the afternoon before he heard the bad singing. "I hitch-hiked out of the city, you know. As soon as I shifted to the cat after I fought with Kenny, I hid in the back of a pickup truck and just got out as soon as the driver stopped. Ended up in your neck of the woods."

Erwin merges onto the highway, listening intently.

"I'd been a cat for a few days straight before that night. I'd been gathering food in town and canvassing places. The shift started happening again and I had no idea how far away I'd gotten from my hiding places. So I had to run and hold it off as long as I could, get as far away from the roads and the trails as I could. And when I shifted back to human, I thought that was it. It was so painful. And I was so dehydrated, my blood felt like oil."

Erwin feels his heart contract at Levi's words. He wants to stay in the realm of empathy without descending into pity.

Levi lay in the shade and contemplated death, feeling his body go viscous and numb. A voice caught him, somewhere from deep in his own mind. A little piece of advice: take another breath. He breathed and contemplated the trees. They have their own currents, more vertical than vertical. He drank in the humid air and waited.

"Did you know there's a spring about a half mile from your house?" Levi asks.

"No, where?"

"It's off the trail," Levi says. "But it's not far. There used to be a trail there, a long time ago. If you really try hard to pick it up, you can sense it, where people used to walk. And animals go there, too, so it's almost like there's these little invisible arrows pointing to it from all the repeated movement."

"That's remarkable," Erwin grins.

"Some people can see it too, if they have the training," Levi muses. "They can sense the water, anyways." He wishes he'd gotten Josephine to teach him how to dowse for hidden water sources before she died. To have had years of practice would have helped. Then he wishes he never needed to know how in the first place.

Levi remembers the trees. He opened his eyes and saw little glowing patches of light through the pine grove. He breathed. The trees breathed. He noticed their roots plunging down into the soil and felt despair. Roots. Something to hold onto, something to stabilize you. If you could just put down roots, then maybe you could stay vertical, too. He listened for the trees' current and remembered a page from a book he'd read as a child. Trees release oxygen. They help you breathe. Well, he thought, if the only creatures on this entire wretched earth who care about you at all are these trees, giving you oxygen, then at least you have _them_. He felt ashamed. It's not even true, he thought. An old fisherman gave him some leftover bait the day before, sitting on the dock at dawn. A young man in a hair net smoking a cigarette behind a little fried seafood shack peeled a raw shrimp and tore it into pieces, smiling to himself as the cat ate it in his usual delicate way. His friend joined them and smiled too. The tired-looking men ran their smoke-scented hands through Levi's coat and he decided he didn't mind.

Get up, the trees seemed to say, Levi's mind delusional with thirst. You can't be vertical if you don't get up. He felt himself uplifted by some force beyond his control as the sun was setting, suddenly parallel to the entire grove of pines. In a trance, he placed one foot in front of the other, he ambled dreamlike through the sandy grass until he reached it: the spring. He drank his fill. When his body could produce tears again, he cried.

"Yeah. It saved my life," Levi continues.

Erwin doesn't want to offend Levi by saying it, but Levi's survival amazes him. "You'll have to show it to me sometime."

Levi grins. "Sure." He looks out the window again. "So, yeah. I found the spring. And then once I was a cat again, I heard this god-awful singing and I had to check it out."

Erwin laughs. "Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad."

"Tch. I can sing better as a cat."

Erwin rolls his eyes, relieved at Levi's smug smile.

But Levi goes somber again. "That was the way it always went, you know," Levi says. "Just when I thought it was all over, something like that would happen. Like somebody dangling a thread in front of me." He rests his jaw on the heel of his hand. "I'd be convinced I was dying, and then I'd remember something as stupid as the fact that I like the trees here," he laughs dryly. "And then I'd remember something else; somebody giving me food or something. Or like, Armin spilling milk all over the kitchen floor trying to pour me a bowl of it." He rubs his face with his hands, trying to stave off the heat building behind his eyes. "'Cause it's not like they're so few and far between, you know, all these times when people went out of their way for me." Like you're doing now, he thinks, turning to Erwin. "And then I'd just...force myself to get up. And tell myself to quit feeling so fucking sorry for myself, and just get up, and go...find the next one." If he would just keep going, he thought as he looked into the tumbling water of the spring, there would be more of those moments. Better ones. Maybe even somewhere to put down roots.

Erwin parks the car in the shade on the far edge of the cemetery, away from the busy square. Levi spots the mausoleum a few paces from the Church family plot. He feels his eyes burn. "But, then, sometimes, I think—" he shuts his eyes and tears fall. His voice contracts into a weak groan. "What's the point of trying to build something new...when everything you love can be snatched away from you at any second?" He leans his head against the dashboard. Erwin lightly strokes his back.

Then Erwin notices something: he can feel the anguish coming off of Levi like smoke. Not just the usual vibration of Levi's spine, but something superimposed on top of it. _'It's like you know it's there, but you don't know how you know. You just kind of feel it, almost taste it even,'_ Levi had told him, describing the sensation of seeing someone's current. Erwin is spooked at his sudden experience of vision. Pain radiates from Levi in a dark wave; the car is filled with a sensation of burning. He lets his hand rest on Levi's back. The sensation of smoke begins to lighten.

Levi turns to Erwin. "What are you doing?"

"What?" Erwin is profoundly confused.

Levi's eyes narrow. "When you touched my back just now. What did you do?"

"Levi, I don't know what you're talking about."

Levi draws back, not angry, but alarmed. "You took something from me."

The men stare at each other in silence for a moment. "Touch me again," Levi says. Erwin obliges. It's different, Erwin notices. Dark, but not so heavy. Still profoundly strange. "How are you doing this?" Levi asks.

Erwin shakes his head. "Levi...I still don't know what you're talking about."

"Give me a second." Levi reaches for Erwin's hand and shuts his eyes. When he opens them again, Erwin hates how blue his reddened face make his eyes look. "Thank you," Levi says.

"I still don't know what's going on."

"Me either," Levi says. He opens the passenger door. "But it's helping. So I'm just going to go with it."

Erwin smiles and grabs the bag from the back seat.

**

The air is humid, but the ground is dry. Grass fights its way up through the sandy soil in tough, flat, waxy blades. Old stone walls section off the cemetery, the mortar between the huge blocks overcome with green moss. It feels so different in the daytime, Levi thinks. A large, shiny, black grasshopper with red plating on its body sits defiantly on Farlan's marble plaque. Levi swats it away. The other Church relatives have left a few relics: a little model house in honor of Farlan's architecture studies; a vase of miniature flags, slightly faded from the sun. Levi lays the silk oak and sage along the top of the plaque and contemplates it. Erwin stands behind him and wraps his arms around his shoulders.

"Farlan's family never knew about me," Levi says. "They knew he had two roommates, but that was it."

"What happened to your other friends?" Erwin asks.

"The wreck was right after they'd graduated. Most of them were out of town or had moved, either home, or to take jobs. I couldn't really...get a hold of them," Levi's voice falters. He remembers the sudden terror of being alone, wildly unstable, no one he knew close enough to help him. Erwin squeezes him tighter. "Um...could I...have a minute alone?" Levi asks. It's not that he doesn't relish Erwin's presence. He's just sick of Erwin seeing him fall apart.

"Sure." Erwin releases him and reaches in his pocket for the car keys. He hands them to Levi. "I'm going to walk down towards the square," he says. "I'll meet you back at the car in a little bit?"

"Thanks," Levi whispers.

Erwin waits a few minutes before he glances over his shoulder. Levi kneels in the grass, and Erwin knows the feeling: the grief that splits you open, leaving everything raw and exposed. He turns back to the path. In the distance, a small group of people clad in black gather around a fresh grave. He was the last person to leave his father's funeral. After the others had all left for the reception at his parents' house, he stood over the open earth, devoid of all feeling but longing and denial. He had just wanted one last moment alone. Erwin feels irritated with himself. He should have offered Levi the time alone sooner, he thinks.

He pushes open the heavy iron gate and crosses the street to the grassy square, filled with picnic blankets and excited dogs. An enormous fountain gurgles contentedly in the midst of the chatter. He finds an empty bench and draws his phone from his pocket. He smiles when his sister Elise picks up.

"Hey you," she says cheerfully. "I've been meaning to call you. How've you been?"

"Pretty good. Just had a little downtime, thought I'd see what was new with you."

"Same old story here," she stands at the edge of her yard in Tallahassee, watching her golden retriever puppy chase a butterfly. "When are you coming to visit?" She goads.

"Y'all hosting Thanksgiving this year?"

She laughs. "Oh, I'll host. But only if you cook."

"Deal."

They fill each other in on minor details. Nothing of consequence, just an excuse to hear each other's voices.

"So how are you holding up? Everything still all right with your new place?"

"Marsh life seems to suit me," Erwin says. A woman throws a frisbee to a huge, fluffy collie across the square. Erwin can never quite look at animals the same way again. "I met someone," he says sheepishly.

Elise cackles on the other end of the line. "Already?"

"Well, it's only been a few weeks," Erwin concedes, "but so far so good."

"No kidding. What's she like?"

"Oh..." Erwin hesitates.

"Wait..." Elise's voice bubbles with excitement. "What's _he_ like?"

Erwin tries to find the words to describe Levi when he hears a few sharp barks in the background of call.

"Billy!" Elise shouts. "Get down!" Erwin can picture her trying to discipline the rambunctious puppy she sends him pictures of. "Looks like Billy wants to say hello," she explains as the barking continues. "Say 'hi,' Billy," she holds the phone up to the little dog's face.

Erwin notices a bizarre, crackling current coming through the phone.

**

A short drive through town brings them to the next grave sites. Levi's face is still blotchy, but he looks more serene, Erwin thinks. Levi leads them down a concrete path, broken up by determined tree roots, to a brick alcove. Hundreds of tiny metal plaques cover the walls. The newest ones shine in the afternoon sun, the oldest are covered with a deep green patina. Levi spots Isabel's toward the shinier end. Erwin hadn't realized she'd been cremated. Bunches of flowers, real and fake, line the alcove, joined by an assortment of figurines and burned out candles along the floor. Levi presses the silk lilies into a little vase attached to the wall. The orange flowers glow against the green moss behind them. They remind Levi of Izzy's wild red-orange hair, and the thought makes him smile.

"Should I go?" Erwin asks.

"No, it's ok. You can stay." It's not numbness that Levi feels, remembering Isabel. Just the inevitable quiet after a cathartic release. He reaches for Erwin's hand and soaks up the resonance again. In his mind's eye, he perceives the gold cloud of it, rippling, not unlike a spring. There's something purifying about it, he thinks. He lets it pour over him. This must have been it, he thinks. What happened in the car. But he makes a mental note to talk to Ymir.

Levi stands still for a few minutes, breathing deeply. He holds Erwin's hand as if to keep from falling. He pictures Isabel; he imagines handing her the flowers, her exhilarated reaction. He imagines hugging her goodbye. Erwin notices the sensation of burning again, but whatever this is, it seems to burn clean. "What is that?" Erwin asks. Without knowing how, he senses a kind of light.

Levi chuckles. "There's this thing you do," he shrugs. "Turns out it's good for me." He gives Erwin's hand a squeeze. "Maybe better for me than I thought." He'll save the metaphysics lecture for later. Erwin just feels glad to help at all. When Levi is ready, he leads them back out into the expansive park.

It takes them a bit of wandering to find Josephine's plot. Levi remains wary of their distance from the car. He freezes when they find the headstone. No decorations adorn it, except for two ceramic cats. One solid black with green eyes, like Kuchel; one black with a white flash and blue eyes, like Levi.

Levi leans closer and shakes his head. He lays the peonies and azaleas at either side of the tombstone, and picks up the figurines.

"What's the matter?" Erwin asks.

"I wish I knew who put these here," Levi says.

"Maybe Cassandra?"

"I don't think she would have made it to Savannah." Levi strains to remember Josephine's neighbors, the members of her eccentric church. "I'm trying to think of who would have known about us. Or that Josephine even had cats." Levi wipes a fine layer of dust off the shiny glaze on Kuchel's likeness. "She was so careful about who she introduced us to," he says. "We were something different to everyone she talked to. Daughter and grandson to people at the shop; her niece and great nephew to some of the neighbors; a former student and her son to others..." Levi shrugs. "Kind of a patchwork existence for us. We knew people, but always under different guises." He has vague memories of an effeminate man visiting the house when he was a little child; one of the few people to visit them. But he can't put a name to the face.

Levi lays the cats back down at the base of the stone. He looks satisfied at the arrangement. He has no tears left for the day. He's sure they'll come again. Still, he feels imminently pleased. Perhaps, in a few weeks, he'll come back; he'll clean the little statues, he'll make sure the silk flowers are free of dust and dirt. Finally, he thinks. To do something—anything—to acknowledge them. To say farewell, even informally. He feels light. Free. Behind him, a blaze of astonishing clarity.

He reaches for Erwin and kisses him. Erwin senses something strange and beautiful for which he has no name.

"You know what I really want?" Levi says as they walk back to the car. "A piece of cake."

Erwin grins. "I know just the place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to everyone who has read this far. I'm always so happy to see how many hits this thing gets between updates. In upcoming chapters I'm planning to go deeper into Erwin's history.


	35. Luminosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is afoot at Grisha's work. Eren and Armin make spiteful dinner plans. Levi admits his deep disdain for humans, but in Erwin's eyes, he just shines brighter.

Eren looks at Armin with concern, eyes like slices of a rare green stone. "Just come inside," he says.

Armin pulls the keys from the ignition and gets out of the car. He doesn't know if his mother is at his grandfather's house or not. He doesn't even want to find out.

His phone buzzes as they walk inside. He swipes open the screen to a wall of text from his mother. He slaps it down against the marble counter.

"Don't answer it," Eren says. "You know this whole routine."

Armin sighs and says nothing. Eren loosely grabs his hand and leads him to the couch. Eren sits; Armin lies with his head in Eren's lap. Gut-level dread fills his body again, moving through him in a slow, tingling wave.

"Why is she like this," Armin mutters. "Why am I like this?" Eren runs his fingers through Armin's hair. "I swear. Every time she talks to me, I think I'm gonna' puke." He'd been left in peace for weeks before the start of school. "But it's just like--" his voice contracts with nausea, "what is she even gonna' do to me? What am I even afraid of?" Armin looks despairingly at the ceiling, then at Eren. "It's not like she's going to, what, cut me off? Dad sends me money as it is, and probably just to spite her. If she cut me off, he'd just send more, probably. For the same reason." Armin sighs; Eren clasps his shoulder in one hand and the back of his neck in the other.

"Don't you think that's probably why she does it?" Eren asks. "It's like, she knows you don't need her, so she can't control you that way. She has to find some other way to do it."

Armin squints. "I just feel like I shouldn't have the same reaction to my own mom as I do to a wolf with half her face shot off." He turns and buries his face in Eren's shirt.

Eren pulls him a little closer. "The wolf thing is fucked up regardless. Anybody would have been freaked out by that." Armin lies on his back again. "I mean, as far as your mom goes," Eren shrugs, "don't you think that's just, like, a memory thing? Like even if there's nothing she can really do to you now, it's not like...how can you avoid thinking about the times when she could?"

Yes, Armin thinks. There's something very old about it. Her voice makes him a child again; it transports him to the time when he only had a stray cat for company. The threat is gone, but the fear remains; a cruel echo of the past. "Yeah," Armin says. "I think you're right." He shuts his eyes. As a child, he used to think he was an elf, or some creature that didn't belong in the human world. And one day, he would go back home. His body is still sore from running, but less so than the week before. And the sensation is even beginning to feel pleasant.

Eren grins a wide grin. "You know what we should do," he says.

"Oh god," Armin's eyes snap open. "What?"

"We should go to the Blue Magnolia for dinner."

Annie opens the basement door, followed by Mikasa.

"What's this about the Blue Magnolia?" She pulls a can from the refrigerator and cracks it open.

"We should go for dinner." Eren's eyes flash.

"I don't know," Armin says.

"Oh, come on," Eren gives him a little shake. "You had, like, half a taco at lunch. It'll be good."

"You just had an entire burro, and you want to go out again."

"Armin," Eren says gently, "I am literally never not hungry."

"I wanna' go." Annie takes a swig of her drink.

"It's kind of expensive, though," Mikasa says.

Annie shrugs. "I have money from the clinic. My treat." She grins at her girlfriend.

"Armin," Eren whispers, "you need fried green tomatoes in a Birgit-free zone."

Armin chuckles dryly. "You sure I don't just need a Birgit-free zone?" It feels strange to him to say his mother's first name.

"No," Eren smiles. "Both. Definitely both."

"Your mom called you?" Mikasa asks softly.

"Sort of. I was supposed to go to lunch with her and my uncles. At the Blue Magnolia."

"Ugh, and now she's being awful about it?" Annie sneers.

The dread in his belly starts to curdle into anger. "I wish she would just leave me the hell alone."

Mikasa picks up her phone to make a reservation. A little Hello Kitty charm dangles from the headphone jack. A smoky voice answers and strange crackling fills the room. Even the boys notice it.

"I have a table at 6:45, and then my next opening for four isn't until 10," Ymir explains.

"Oh. Ok, let's do 6:45 then." Mikasa looks at the others. They nod in agreement.

"Your last name, please?"

Mikasa feels herself scanned through the phone; the presence on the other end has a wild clarity she's never encountered. "Um, Ackerman," she says.

"Lovely," Ymir drawls. "We'll see you at 6:45."

Mikasa's hand drops to her side. "Did you guys feel that?"

"Must have been Ymir," Annie says. "Did she read you?"

Mikasa shudders. "That was so weird." She knew the restaurant had a mainly-shifter staff. But she didn't expect one to pick up the phone. She sits in the overstuffed armchair and cracks open her computer.

Armin goes to lie down in Eren's room; Eren challenges Annie to a rematch at pool. On his way up the stairs, Armin scowls at his phone screen. A few more texts have appeared. Shorter. Angrier. He stops at the top step. The image of the bleeding wolf enters his mind. _If you're going to talk to me like this_ , he types, _then quit inviting me to things._ He immediately switches the phone off, his heart in his throat. He pulls Eren's duvet over his head.

Grisha's expression is somber when he gets home from his shift.

"Hey Dad," Eren says, leaning his pool cue against the wall. "Is something wrong?"

Grisha takes off his glasses and wipes them with the edge of his shirt. He shakes his head. "There's an investigation going on at the hospital," he says, turning to Eren and Annie. "But only a few staff members know about it. They did an internal audit. Supplies have been going missing; someone's been faking the books on the inventory, and it looks like they've been doing so for a long time now."

Eren and Annie exchange uneasy glances.

"Do you think it's auction related?" Annie asks.

"I think it could be," Grisha says. "Things have been disappearing in strategically controlled amounts. And most of what's been taken is sedatives."

**

"I'm fine," Erwin insists. "Just tired from the running." It's not a complete lie. They wait in the car behind the slow-moving funeral procession, and Erwin tries to weed the string of memories from his mind. But it's impossible. Images keep flowing.

There will be no lying to Levi. He senses it in Erwin: a darkness, the heavy atmosphere having shifted to his side of the car. Erwin knows he knows. But he doesn't know what to say.

They creep down a long, oak-canopied avenue towards a square in the center of town.

"It wasn't so sudden, you know," Erwin says quietly. "I never had anybody just...disappear on me. It was always a drawn-out affair."

"In some ways I wonder if that's worse," Levi muses.

Erwin shrugs. "I don't think there's any point in comparing," he says. "If it had been an accident that took Dad, well...I guess that would have been just as bad, don't you think? It's hard to say." Erwin scans the street for a parking space. "You know, on the one hand, it was like we had time to prepare ourselves...but on the other, we just spent all that time hoping he was going to pull through. I mean, how do you even prepare yourself for the thing you want the least?" He wedges the car into a narrow space and a realization strikes him. If only one good thing has come from his father's passing, perhaps it's this: a point of entry into another man's experience. A level on which to connect with a man he wants desperately.

You are an angel, Levi thinks. The hanging sign for the Gryphon Tea Room sways gently, its gold emblem shining. A bell rings as they push open the door, and a young man in a vest and tie seats them by the sun-filled window.

"What happened to your mom?" Levi asks, looking up from the menu. He feels a twinge of shame at how little he's asked about Erwin's life, even after the weeks of eavesdropping in his cat form.

Erwin looks somber. "I think she felt betrayed by God," he says after a moment. "She was very religious, you know. She used to pray a lot, non-stop." Erwin glances at the menu, then back up at Levi. "I think she thought...if she just willed it hard enough, everything would be all right. Like she could just...pull a lever on some cosmic vending machine. Like if she just did everything right," Erwin's voice falls as the waiter approaches the table. He jots down their order: the spiced house blend for Erwin; for Levi, his favorite Earl Grey. A slice of flourless chocolate cake, ostensibly to split. Erwin hopes Levi will eat most of it. Having watched his uncles gradually balloon over the years, he's developed an aversion to sugar.

"You don't see her much, do you?" Levi asks when the young man leaves.

"I should see her more," Erwin says. "She's not well."

But you don't want to see her, Levi thinks.

"It's bizarre," Erwin says. "It's like she wants me to be happy...but she wants me to curse the world, like she does." He rests his forearms on the small marble table. "But I can't do it, you know. Even after all this stuff with Marie...I still can't believe it's all as bad as she thinks it is." Erwin feels sheepish, saying such a thing to someone like Levi.

"Yeah, well," Levi grins faintly, "it's one thing to be an optimist when you've never actually lost anything. It's another when you have." He reaches for Erwin's hand, warm against the cool surface of the table.

The tea arrives. The gold edges of the china cups gleam in the light, the orbits of hundreds of spoons traced into the bottoms. Levi pours a stream of amber liquid from the pot and inhales the heavenly aroma. He smiles at Erwin in the sun, his current like the illuminated window.

"How is it?" Erwin asks.

"Divine." Levi takes another sip. "The tea here is spectacular." Sometimes you do get what you want, he thinks. He sighs contentedly and looks around the room. "I hate humans," he says flatly. Erwin raises an eyebrow. "Most of them," Levi clarifies. "They're always finding some petty bullshit to complain about. None of them realize how good they have it. They take everything for granted, and most of them would rather die than be wrong about anything." He looks at Erwin across his cup of tea. "And you know, most of the time, I'm no better than they are." He shrugs.

Erwin suppresses a laugh. "Well, you might be right about people in general. But I'm not so sure about you."

"Oh, trust me. I hate being wrong," Levi says with a wry smile. "But sometimes it's the best thing that can happen to you."

Levi cuts off the tip of the cake with the side of his fork. Erwin blinks his eyes rapidly. Behind Levi, extending from his back, Erwin perceives a glowing plane, flickering like Levi's own personal Northern Lights, gold instead of green.

"What is it?" Levi asks between bites of cake.

Erwin glances briefly around the room. "Your current...that's what it's called, right? When you see it...what does it look like to you?"

Levi shuts his eyes for a second, then opens them slowly. "Sort of like a wall of fire. Why?"

"I can see it," Erwin says quietly. "It's kind of a gold color, isn't it?"

Levi's eyes are wide and wet with tears he did not think he had left.

**

Levi clacks away on Erwin's laptop, his hands remembering the foreign keys. Another chapter done. Erwin squints at the TV screen. "Oh, for Christ's sake," he mutters, "is this a track meet or a football game?" His college's rival team runs another thirty yard touchdown. Erwin sighs. "You sure the noise isn't bothering you?"

"No," Levi says, "it kind of helps to have something to tune out." He reads through another paragraph of Josephine's.

"All right, if you say so." Erwin takes it as a compliment that with all the quiet places Levi could work before they leave for dinner, he insists on sitting next to him on the couch. Erwin strokes Levi's hair and the back of his neck. Without realizing it, Levi lets out a little satisfied grumble. Erwin watches a few more disheartening plays.

"I never really got much into sports," Levi glances up at the screen that is causing Erwin so much pain.

"Did you ever really play them?"

"A little, when I was a kid." Levi pulls his glass of water from the coffee table. "Anything that didn't need too much documentation, Josephine would sign me up for. So when I was stable enough, I'd do some camps and things in the summers. Soccer, mostly."

Erwin smiles at the thought of child Levi chasing around a soccer ball.

"But apparently," Levi says, his tone growing bitter, "I got sent home a lot, because I didn't 'play well with others.'" He makes air quotes.

Erwin tries not to laugh. He can't tell if Levi is being facetious, or if he really was upset about getting sent home. Erwin wonders, but doesn't want to ask, how Levi managed to stay so frighteningly lean, when Erwin himself runs religiously.

"And then after that," Levi continues, shaking his head, "it was all fighting." He shuts the laptop and leans back into the couch. "As soon as I met Kenny. We started with how to hold a knife." Levi glowers. "And then I never had to play well with others again," he says with a dry little laugh.

"Oh god," Erwin groans.

"It took me years before I could beat him. He's almost as tall as your friend Mike. Well, you remember, I guess. You saw him."

"Yeah, there are some things you can't un-see," Erwin says, thinking of the strange, gaunt man on his lawn.

Levi laughs. "He used to be a lot heavier than he is now. He taught me all these bodyweight exercises, you know, since we were always on the run." Levi shakes his head. "Do you know how hard it is to win a fight against someone who has at least seventy pounds on you, and is actually trained to fight?"

"I can't even imagine," Erwin admits.

Levi leans against Erwin. "Everything changed between us that day. And then, when I knew I could beat Kenny, I knew I could beat just about anyone, especially if I could catch them off guard." Levi's face darkens.

"Remind me to stay on your good side," Erwin grins.

"Aw, fuck. I didn't mean--"

"Levi, I know. It's ok," Erwin laughs. He pulls Levi onto his lap, and Levi sinks back into his arms. "So was that when you decided you liked it? Fighting?"

"Oh, when I started winning?" Levi laughs. "Yeah. I guess you could say that was the tipping point." He examines the scars along his knuckles. "Took me until I was eighteen. Not that I won all the time, obviously." He lays his head back against Erwin's shoulder.

Erwin rests one hand on the flat plane of Levi's abdomen, the other on his collarbone. "I never even asked you how old you are." He winces with embarrassment.

Levi shrugs. "I'll be thirty in December." He feels Erwin relax a little at his lack of concern. He turns around to kiss Erwin's neck.

Erwin smiles. "What day?"

"...The twenty-fifth," Levi says reluctantly.

Erwin's face lights up. He gives Levi a squeeze. "Are you serious?"

Levi rolls his eyes. "Yeah, apparently it's an important day to some humans," he says dryly.

"I can't believe it." Erwin just grins stupidly. He kisses the top of Levi's head, then his neck.

Levi can't stay irritated with Erwin for long. He exhales heavily and lets Erwin continue to kiss him and run his hands along his body. He releases another soft groan and feels Erwin getting hard underneath him. Erwin slips his hand up Levi's shirt.

"Keep going," Levi says.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know when I'm gonna' shift again; I gotta' make the most of it."

Erwin switches off the TV and pulls Levi's shirt over his head. He undoes Levi's shorts and slides them to the floor. In the dark screen, he sees the reflection of Levi sitting naked and erect on his lap, and smiles a predatory smile. Erwin teases Levi's cock with a few light strokes. Levi arches his back and pushes up his hips, pressing Erwin back into the couch with his shoulders. Erwin tightens his grip and Levi inhales sharply.

Erwin spits into his palm. "Is that all right?"

Levi nods. Erwin's hand finds Levi's shaft again. Then he reaches with the other for Levi's neck. "What about that?"

"Yes," Levi moans.

Erwin likes the feeling of Levi's slender neck in his hand. Levi grips the edge of the couch as Erwin pumps him harder. He doesn't even try to stay vertical. Erwin notices the static building up in Levi's spine as his breaths get shallower and faster. He notices the fold.

Levi's claws puncture the cushions; his tail streams from the base of his spine. "Fuck," he groans. His body goes rigid. Erwin feels the heat of Levi's cum as it drips down his hand.

Erwin reaches for Levi's t-shirt to wipe it away and releases Levi's neck. Threads pop as Levi pulls his claws from the cushions. "Shit," he mutters.

"Don't worry about it," Erwin whispers in Levi's ear. "That's what happens when you get a cat," he laughs, "the couch always gets clawed up."

Levi lies back onto Erwin and swishes his tail against Erwin's erection, straining hopelessly through his pants, making Erwin groan. Erwin grabs Levi's hips and lifts him off of him. Levi leans against the coffee table and looks over his shoulder.

"Oh my god," Erwin says as he stands up. "I'm gonna' be right back."

Levi lets his claws slide against the polished wood of the table.

**

Talons scrape against a concrete wall. They lead to a pair of thin, human arms.

"Please," a hoarse voice says. "Please, not again."

Zackley presses the syringe into the back of the thin woman's neck. A scream echoes through the dim basement room. Rows of long feathers appear along the woman's arms. Zackley releases his grip. She lets her claws drag along the wall, producing an awful sound as she slides to her knees on the floor. Zackley rips a feather from her arm and she screams again.

"Yes," he says under his breath. "Perfect." He holds the feather up in front of him. The woman draws her knees to her chest and scowls ferociously.

**

Erwin walks back into the living room wearing only a condom. He kneels behind Levi and grips the base of his tail with one hand, fingering him with the other. Levi arches his back and clenches his pointed teeth.

Erwin's breath is heavy on Levi's neck as he penetrates him. The table threatens to give out underneath the pressure of Erwin's thrusts. Levi's tail tickles Erwin's chest as Levi pushes himself back into Erwin. His claws scratch fine lines into the bottom edge of the table until Erwin collapses, panting, sweating.

**

The feather turns to dust in Zackley's hand. He turns to the furious woman shivering on the floor, dumbstruck.

He scowls and turns to the far corner of the room. "Now," he says.

An arm terminating in a heavy hoof presses a lever. For a split second, the shadow of a figure with horns appears on the wall as flash of brilliant light fills the room.

**

The sun has gone down, but the living room glows, bright enough that Erwin sees it too. He sets an alarm on his phone and lies down the couch. Levi lies on his chest, and Erwin pulls the blanket over them again. Then, he realizes something. The light isn't just coming from Levi. It's coming from him as well.


	36. Astonishing clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi continues to get stronger as he and Erwin get closer; Krista steels herself to meet the auction, worried about how to protect her staff. Dinner at Trattoria Maria goes wonderfully until Kenny shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I say this pretty much every chapter, but I really do appreciate every single piece of feedback I've gotten on this and everyone who's read this far. I hope people are enjoying reading it as much as I've been enjoying writing it. I had no idea I'd reach the 100k word mark on this thing. I really do feel like it's taken on a life of its own. 
> 
> (By the way, if I have any Eremin-inclined readers— I have a new Eremin fic up at http://archiveofourown.org/works/8677303/chapters/19892965)

"Here, try this." Marco slides two stout glasses across the bar to Ymir and Jean; his latest creation. Ymir's eyes turn yellow with satisfaction. The valerian sparkles in her current like cinnamon sprinkled on a fire. She can pick out the apple whiskey, but the other ingredients remain a mystery.

"You have a gift for this," Jean says as he raises his glass and inspects the color through the light. Despite his best efforts, little lines of charcoal dust still outline his fingernails, his hands red from scrubbing.

The clock behind the bar declares twenty minutes until Ymir's break ends and the dinner rush begins. Then, she feels it: a wave of rage from the back porch. A flare in her mind's eye, but too subtle for Jean and Marco to notice.

Krista turns around suddenly when Ymir opens the door, little gray war paint streaks of mascara trailing down her face again. But the tears have long since dried.

"Oh. It's you," she says with relief. She loosens her white knuckled grip on her phone.

"What's the matter, honey?" Ymir runs her fingers through Krista's hair.

"I hate them," Krista growls. She scrolls through endless furious messages from her half-brothers; her phone blinks constantly from her unheard voicemails. "They keep sending me all this bullshit about how I 'manipulated Dad,' and 'made him disrespect them.' Oh, please," her tone is cold and biting. Ymir hates to see Krista upset, but she'd rather see her angry than imploding. "If you wanted your dad to respect you, maybe you shouldn't have drank your way through six years of college, you worthless piece of shit!" she screams at her phone screen, wisely out of earshot of the early evening guests. A few startled birds fly out of a tree nearby. "Somebody please tell me how I manipulated a man who I did everything I could to avoid, 'cause I'd love to know!" Krista's burst of ferocity blazes red in Ymir's vision.

Please and entertain. Please and entertain. Such has been the subconscious mantra of Krista's life. Mrs. Lenz had been a gracious foster mother. But she went through life in a fog of self-effacing servility that taught Krista to duck beneath the low branches of other people's anger, with no alternatives. Krista stands seething on the porch as though finally wielding a hacksaw. There is no pleasing these people, she decides. And no point in trying.

"I know, baby. Save it for the trial. Remember what your lawyer said." Ymir sits on a wrought iron bench and Krista follows. "When all this mess is over, you can really lay into them," she says with a satisfied sneer. She looks at Krista for a moment. "Your dad was really proud of you, you know."

"Great," Krista snarls. "Too bad he couldn't have been proud of me twenty years ago." Her phone dings again. "God," she groans. "How much money do I have to give them to make them leave me the fuck alone?"

"Honey," Ymir strokes her head. "That's exactly what they want. They've been harassing your dad for cash since they were children. Not that he didn't deserve to get bled dry. But trust me. Now that you hold the purse strings, there's no reason to think they're going to treat you any differently from him. Not that you need any help, but I don't think you realize just how good your half-brothers make you look, especially these last few years. There's a reason you and Frieda are the only ones he ever talked about, you know."

Krista leans into the crook of Ymir's arm and stares at the ceiling. "Yeah. Even still. Sometimes I wish you'd done away with him sooner."

Ymir gives a sinister laugh. "Believe me, baby, I tried." But they both know: if Ymir had managed to escape sooner, she would never have gotten to know Krista. And neither of them knows when Rod changed his will.

Ymir had to take a different approach with Rod. The auction are all sadists, she explained; what they want is a reaction. The stronger the reaction, the more powerful they feel. She sensed a weakness in Rod's personality and fought to take advantage, training him instead: react only to scouting. Only to hunting. Go numb to everything else.

It had been painful. But it had worked.

"I'm really going to need your help tomorrow," Krista says. "I don't even know who knows about me."

Ymir draws her closer. "I'll tell you everything I know."

Krista's the only relative of Rod's who knows about the auction. She's not sure which she dreads more: battling it out with her half-siblings over their inheritance, or pretending to own her staff to keep the auction buyers from declaring open season. The thought of buying the Kirstein ranch is becoming more and more appealing, if for no other reason than to have a place to hide.

Ymir senses four familiar currents in the parking lot. "Speaking of help," she says, "if you were wondering who to thank, they're on their way in."

**

Levi slips on his blazer.

"You look nice," Erwin says. Levi smiles faintly. Hey, Erwin thinks; you didn't snap at me for giving you a compliment. We really are making progress.

Then he looks concerned.

"What is it?" Levi asks.

"Just worried about the next change," Erwin says. "I'm not used to you being human all day. Just feels like I'm gambling with you because it fits my schedule."

"It'll be fine," Levi says. "I feel good right now, anyway." His current feels astonishingly clear, and next to Erwin, the sensation of brightness is stronger than he's ever felt it. "Even if I have to leave immediately, it just gives you a better opening if you have to initiate them later."

"It's a good point." Erwin starts the car. "I just had a terrible thought," he confesses. "What if Petra and Oulo are part of the auction?"

"It's not impossible," Levi admits. "They auction off artwork, don't they? Honestly, I'd be surprised if they were. But you really never know."

Erwin looks dejected. The street lights flicker on.

"Sometimes there's a kind of stalemate that happens," Levi says. "It's no more legal to be a sponsor than it is to be in the auction. And if you try to turn someone in for keeping shifters, well, that implies your own involvement. It suggests you know what they are, so it makes you a prime candidate for investigation. So sometimes people just keep their mouths shut. The sponsors want to protect their families and the buyers want to protect their...investment," he says with a little sneer.

"How did it even get to be this way," Erwin says, more to the road than to Levi.

"I don't even know where we come from," Levi sighs. "I don't know how long we've existed. Every shifter I've ever met was born like this; it doesn't seem to be something that changes later in life." He shrugs. "I've wondered my whole life how it got to be like this. All I have to go on is rumors and folklore."

Erwin is quiet for a moment. "I just think you deserve a better life than this." Someone with your intelligence and determination shouldn't have to eat out of garbage cans, he thinks.

"You know, even if I had a 'better' life, I don't know that I'd be any happier," Levi says. The horizon glows orange out the windows. "I think about people like Armin's parents, or some of the people I stayed with for short stints—these old, rich people—and I just think...how can you have so much and be so miserable?" Levi shuts the air conditioning vent. "I mean, what good does it even do if you spend every single say just walking around in circles in the hell of your own mind?"

Erwin changes lanes. "Maybe I should introduce you to my mother," he says jokingly.

Levi shakes his head. "Sometimes I wonder if I made some bad decision in a former life, and I have to make up for it now, and that's why I'm a shifter. Josephine had all these theories on karma and past-life contracts and all that kind of stuff." He runs his hand through his hair. "But even if I weren't a shifter, I could have been anything else. Who knows. I could be a refugee. Or a political prisoner, or some hated minority, or drafted into some useless war...I mean, it's not like shifters are the only people who get persecuted on this crazy planet. I'm not exactly alone." He leans back in his seat and watches the last red traces of sunset. "And even beyond all that...anyone who wants to hurt you, they just reach for the nearest stick to beat you with, don't they? Anything they can find wrong with you, they'll pin on you."

"Well, that's...one way to think about it." Erwin doesn't necessarily disagree. He just hadn't given it much thought. "Some people look at history that way," he says. "Just a matter of whose turn it is, I guess." They reach a stoplight and Erwin turns to Levi. "I don't think I've ever met anyone with less self-pity than you have," he observes. "I don't know," he sighs. "I just...want you to be happy."

"I am happy," Levi says. "At least...I am when I'm with you."

Erwin smiles at Levi with moist eyes.

Meanwhile, back in Erwin's neighborhood, an unmarked van with a large antenna sprouting out the back approaches his house.

**

"Do you feel that?" Marco asks Jean.

"What?"

"In the parking lot. The currents. I think it's two cats."

Jean's mildly embarrassed by how little he can detect. He shuts his eyes for a second. He can sense two shifters, but their species elude him.

Mikasa turns to Annie as they step out of the car. "Do you feel that? I've never been close to this many shifters at once, it's so weird."

Annie looks suddenly somber. "I haven't sensed this many of us in one place in since the lab days. But...they're all free now, right?"

"They're supposed to be," Armin says.

They walk inside. Annie's the only one who recognizes Ymir's human appearance, but to Mikasa, her current is unmistakable.

Ymir stands at the little desk with a tired smile and crossed arms. "I never got the chance to thank you properly," she says guilelessly to Eren and Armin, surprising Krista with the change in her demeanor. She points to Annie. "This one stitched me up," she says.

Krista shakes Annie's hand.

"And these two are my drivers," she points to the boys.

So this is the wolf, Armin thinks. He's surprised, and not surprised at all. She towers above him, with deep ochre skin peppered with freckles and a long dark braid hanging over her shoulder.

"Right, Erwin told me about you," Krista says warmly. "It's good to meet you."

Eren looks at Krista, then back at Armin. They look like they could be brother and sister, he thinks. Ymir watches them all make their introductions and remembers Levi's comment about her tribe: guess you'll just have to assemble a new one. The girls are incredibly clear, a grace to tune into. She's never met any shifters as strong or as stable as they are that didn't come from the wild. The staff move freely through the restaurant. Without the trauma of the auction wreaking havoc in their currents, it almost, almost feels like being around her pack.

**

Erwin locks the car and hands Levi the keys. Levi turns toward the glowing restaurant windows, but Erwin lightly grabs his shoulder. "Wait," he says. He gently tilts Levi's chin up and kisses him.

Petra pulls into a parking space behind them and recognizes Erwin's silhouette. She giggles in spite of herself. "Looks like Erwin was serious about bringing a date."

Oulo notices the two men kissing a stone's throw away and grins. "Good for him. He needs it." They wait until Erwin and Levi are finished having their moment before they get out.

Petra hugs Erwin with a happy little shriek; Oulo claps him on the back. Erwin introduces Levi proudly. Something about Levi's light eyes seems familiar to Petra as she shakes his hand, but she can't quite place it. Levi readily embraces the challenge of pretending he's never seen these people before, much less having sat in their laps and eaten from their hands.

He decides to ratchet up the charm. "Lovely to meet you." Erwin's never heard Levi conjure up a voice or demeanor so smooth. He finds it immensely entertaining.

But Levi freezes for a second at the door of the restaurant. A sensation of radio static enters his awareness. He spots the familiar outline of a hat. Kenny sits perched on a stool in a dark corner of the bar, facing away from the entrance.

"Are you all right?" Petra asks.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," he reassures her. "For a second I just thought I forgot to feed my cat."

Erwin looks confused. Levi gives him a subtle wink and nods in the direction of the bar.

"Oh, that's so sweet that both of you have cats," Petra says cheerfully as the hostess leads them to a candle-filled alcove near the back. "What kind do you have?"

"She's a black standard shorthair," Levi says, taking his seat. "Her name is Kuchel."

"Wait a second," Oulo says, turning to Erwin. "Isn't your cat named Levi?"

"Just a fun coincidence," he says. He and Levi glance at each other.

"Aw, I love it when that kind of thing happens," Petra smiles.

Either they're doing an amazing job of playing dumb, Erwin thinks, or they genuinely don't know. He looks around the dining room. Dark wood panels line the ceiling and floor; stacks of warm beige slate form the walls. The glass light fixtures and gold hardware hanging over the tables look handmade. "You two outdid yourselves on this place," he says.

"Oh, we had such a great time redesigning it." There's nothing false or forced about Petra's cheer, Levi thinks. If there were, she'd be unbearable.

"You should have seen it before they let us at it," Oulo shakes his head.

Glasses of water and wine make their way to the table; smiling waiters give their counsel on the menu. But Levi has his mind made up. Calamari.

From the corner of his eye, he can discern Kenny's brooding face. But Kenny seems to take no notice of Levi, totally absorbed in his bourbon. Kenny does notice a current; he simply doesn't recognize it. It entered his consciousness like catching a whiff of something fragrant, as if the door to another, unknown kitchen had been opened. He pays it no further attention. He assumes it belongs to a child, someone sponsored from birth.

"Who did you say the new owner was?" Levi asks.

"Uri Reiss," Oulo says. "You know him?"

"We've met."

"So now, tell me what you do again?" Petra asks, taking a sip of her wine.

Erwin smiles at Levi. Let the improvising begin.

"I'm a journalist," Levi says. "I freelance. I do most of my work undercover, though."

"Oh, how interesting." Petra means it. "Who do you write for?"

"Whoever will hire me," Levi grins. "But lately mostly Vice and the Bitter Southerner."

Erwin perceives the glow again, a sort of cloud enveloping himself and Levi.

Oulo gives Erwin a look that says 'I like this guy.' "How'd you two meet?" He asks.

Erwin's turn. "Nanaba introduced us."

"Yeah, I used to teach," Levi says.

"Journalism?" Petra asks.

"No, German, actually. I'd been living the adjunct life in Saint Augustine for a few years, then I moved back here."

"Yeah, Nan got real excited after this conference she went to," Erwin adds. "She said she wanted to set me up."

Petra is so full of excitement for Erwin that Levi can almost see it. The others dip thick pieces of crusty bread into olive oil while Levi spins yarns about his made up life. Erwin tries to keep himself from laughing every time he weaves in a section  
of Josephine's biography: his mother had been German; he'd gone into the ministry when he was younger, but ultimately decided to leave the church. With each twist of the story, Erwin wonders what kind of life Levi would be leading if he weren't a shifter, if there's any wishful thinking to his tale.

The food arrives and the evening flows with chatter. Levi and Erwin play off each other effortlessly. If he has to pretend to be human, Levi thinks, at least it's fun to pretend. He feels his current. It shines like a spotlight, brilliantly clear. Is this what it feels like to be stable? Levi wonders. Does it always feel this good?

**  
A stocky woman with a short haircut looks at a tablet screen inside the unmarked van. "Nobody's home," she says. The screen is dark where they expect to see infrared figures inside Erwin's house.

"It's fine," says the man driving. "Mark it off, we'll come back to it."

The van creeps to the next address.

**

Oulo snaps up the check as soon as it arrives.

"Oulo. What are you doing," Erwin gives him a look.

"It's the least we can do, we never get to see you." Oulo holds the little binder hostage. Levi excuses himself from the table.

Kenny feels the unusual current coming closer. He looks up. A familiar profile disappears into the hallway leading to the bathrooms.

Levi rinses his hands and reaches for a rolled up towel on the counter. The door creaks open. Levi sees the brim of Kenny's hat in the mirror before he sees his face.

"The fuck are you doing here," Kenny growls, stunned at the strange light coming from his nephew, dressed in crisp, sharp new clothes.

"Getting on with my life." Levi dries his hands. He doesn't bother turning around. "Where's Uri?"

Kenny squints. "He's at home. He's being investigated."

Levi laughs his cruel, bitter laugh. "Can't imagine why."

Kenny's face blanches. He grabs Levi's shoulders and turns him around. "What do you know about that?" his voice is a furious hiss.

Levi continues to chuckle, unfazed.

"What. Do. You. Know." Kenny's fingers threaten to leave bruises on Levi's shoulders.

"A little bird told me Rod Reiss was dead," Levi sneers. "What a goddamn shame."

Kenny's eyes widen. Levi starts to turn, but Kenny tightens his grip. "Tell me what you know," he nearly spits in Levi's face. "You had something to do with this, didn't you."

"I don't give a fuck about Rod Reiss," Levi hisses. "The auction eats itself, you know that." Then he grins sardonically. "It's not my fault Uri's property is a great place to die."

Levi gives Kenny a swift kick to the shin, then smacks him in the face with the back of his hand as he falls forward.

But Kenny leaps up quickly and pins Levi against the wall. The framed mirror behind them falls to the floor and shatters. The restaurant goes quiet at the sudden sound from the bathroom.

"Well that can't be good," Oulo says with dry suspicion. He, Erwin, and Petra get up tentatively.

Pinned against the flat wall, Levi feels the clear plane of his current. He lets it swing forward. He sinks the claws of his right hand deep into Kenny's wrist. Kenny screams out in surprise and recoils; Levi kicks him in the chest, into the wall of the bathroom stall. Kenny lunges for Levi. Levi slashes his face.

Kenny leans forward, clutching his bleeding face in his hands. Four deep claw marks run from his ear to his nose. Levi shoves him out the door; his back smacks against the wall of the hallway and he crumples to the floor. The staff freeze at the sight of the owner's partner; hatless, bleeding.

"I'm so sorry," Levi shoves his clawed hand in his pocket. Petra catches a glimpse of Kenny's face. "Some people just can't handle their alcohol," Levi explains, gently herding the others to the door.

"But that's—" Petra starts.

"We know each other," Levi says. "It's a long story."

Kenny stands up.

"Should I call the police?" A waitress asks.

"Shut up and get back to work!" Kenny screams into her face. He disappears into the kitchen.

"He's fine," Levi says. "Really sorry about your mirror, though."


	37. Prophecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi get into an argument about what will keep Levi safe. Armin reminds Ymir of a fellow former test subject. Kenny finally goes home, and Ymir remembers some old words that are both frightening and encouraging.

"I'm terribly sorry," a waitress explains to a flustered older woman. "That gentleman was overserved. He's going to be escorted from the premises now," she lies through her teeth. Kenny drinks as freely as he wishes at any bar owned by Uri.

He dashes past the kitchen staff, ducks into the little staff bathroom, flicks on the light, and slams the door. He looks in the mirror: four deep bloody streaks cross his face like a melting American flag. They hurt, but it's not the pain that fills Kenny with noxious dread.

Levi is human. Kenny saw him drying human hands. No static crackle initiated a new cycle.

So where did the claws come from?

"Are you sure you're ok?" Petra's concern is painfully sincere. But Levi is unscathed from the clash.

He remembers a piece of advice from Uri, of all people: when you lie, keep your lies as true as possible. "I'm fine. Really. It's all right." He looks concernedly in the direction of the kitchen. "That was my uncle," Levi admits with a sigh. Petra's eyes widen.

Erwin glances at Levi. "He has an...unfortunate tendency to pick fights when he drinks, doesn't he."

Levi tries not to smile, though he appreciates Erwin corroborating his story. Kenny has a liver of steel; he'll pick fights stone sober. "Well, they say there's one in every family," Levi offers.

Oulo lets out a dry laugh. "We can sure name ours." He and Petra exchange a knowing look.

The noise level in the restaurant returns to normal. A custodian sets to work sweeping up the broken glass. "Maybe we'd better get going," Petra says. "It was such a nice evening, I'm so sorry it ended like this."

Erwin will never cease to be amazed at his friend's capacity to apologize for things that aren't remotely her fault. Marie did it, too.

"Believe me, if I'd known my one truly volatile relative was going to be here, I would have suggested meeting somewhere else," Levi says with feigned embarrassment. "I'm just sorry you even had to look at him."

**

"Uri, are you sure?" A distressed manager says into the phone. "He assaulted a patron!"

Uri sighs heavily on the other end of the line. "Listen, I know Ken's got a real short fuse, but he knows I'd scalp him if he ever touched an actual customer." He rubs his temple. "Karen, what did this guy look like?"

The manager blanches. "Does it matter?"

"Karen, just tell me."

"Ok, well...white guy in his twenties, black hair, short..."

"How short?" Uri asks.

"Five foot four?" She guesses, glancing at Levi's silhouette heading for the door.

God damn it, Levi, Uri thinks. Though if he's honest with himself, it's more likely that Kenny started it. "I know him. He works for me, too, Karen," Uri lies. Please just don't call the police, he thinks; Kenny getting arrested is the last thing I need. "Is he all right?"

"I think so. He's leaving."

"Let him go. I'll talk to him. You just get back to work and I'll come deal with Ken, all right?"

She's less than reassured when she hangs up the phone.

For a moment, Uri wonders if this is it: after all these years of partnership, this is the final straw, the day when Kenny's temper does them in for good. He pictures Kenny at the police precinct; no valid ID, no Social Security number, no fingerprints in any databases. Would they even get the chance to say goodbye? Uri tries to push the thought out of his mind and grabs his car keys from a hook by the back door.

**

"What happened in there?" Erwin asks as they climb into the car. He looks at Levi gravely.

"So..." Levi looks at the floor, "I might have pointed Ymir in the direction of Uri's property. Which means...Uri's being investigated for killing Rod."

Erwin leans his elbow against the steering wheel and rests his face in his hand.

"And Kenny...might have guessed that I tipped her off about the location." He taps his fingertips together sheepishly.

"Levi, why would you attract more attention to Kenny? If the police find him, isn't that just a direct line to you?"

Levi deflates with a heavy sigh. He feels a dense knot of regret. "I wouldn't have done it if I thought the police could actually find him." But his excuse feels flimsy, and Erwin's exasperated expression hurts. "It was supposed to just force him out of the house for a few days, that's all."

"Well that's petty of you," Erwin says.

"Yeah," Levi snaps. "It is. It was petty of Kenny to burn everything I owned. I saw an opportunity to get back at him, and I took it," he sulks.

"Levi, just...why are you putting yourself in danger like this to prove a point?"

"Erwin..." Levi runs his hand through his hair nervously. "I'm not in danger, ok? They're not going to find Kenny. Believe me, if they were even capable of finding him, they would have found him years ago. Ever since we got out of the auction, he's worked for the worst people in the entire southeast. I'm just putting him on his toes—"

"Really, Levi?" Erwin can't conceal his frustration. He gestures toward the lit up restaurant. "Nobody in that room made a phone call? Nobody in that room is going to notice, or remember?"

"Erwin, they're not going to call the police—"

"And what was all this?" He makes a sweeping gesture back and forth across his cheek. "What the hell happened to his face? Do you think no one noticed that? What did you even do, get him with the mirror glass?"

"Erwin, I wasn't fighting him for fun! What do you think I was trying to do? Fucking spar for practice? I was trying to get away," Levi seethes. "Listen, Erwin, I know; everything that points to Kenny points to me, and everything that points to me points to you, but please, just trust me here, ok?" He feels heat building behind his eyes. "I am nothing if not a sick, petty bastard, but I would never do something that I thought would put you in danger," Levi confesses. "Please believe me when I say that. Ok? I know Kenny. I know Uri. I know what they're like, I know how they operate—"

"Levi, I'm just trying to keep you safe," Erwin whispers with exasperation.

"I know." They sit in silence for a moment. "I know. I don't take it lightly. I know this isn't easy. I just...Erwin, I'm sorry," Levi says, his eyes dry but stinging.

"I know," Erwin says. More silence. A pained silence. Then Erwin sighs deeply, feeling a painful contraction in his chest. "Fuck," he mutters.

"What?" Levi turns to him.

"Would have helped if I didn't put up signs with your name on them."

Levi groans. "Erwin, forget about that." He slides deeper into his seat. "You were trying to take care of me. You couldn't have known."

Erwin stares out the windshield for a moment. "You're quick to forgive for a petty bastard."

"Tch."

God, you're a lot of trouble, Erwin thinks. But he can't pretend. He knows he'd rather be in a crisis with Levi than be alone; he'd rather have the zeniths and nadirs with someone truly compelling than a quiet life with someone he doesn't love. Or who doesn't love him back.

"Let's go home." Erwin starts the car. He notices the glow again after a moment. Softer, but still present. "Seriously, though. What happened to his face?" He asks as they turn out of the lamp-lit square.

"Oh, god," Levi says. "I wonder if I can even show you." They reach a stoplight and Levi shuts his eyes; he takes a deep breath and feels for his current. Erwin perceives the curtain of light again. The atmosphere in the car feels strange. Erwin notices the plane of light begin to turn. In Erwin’s presence, it swings freely. Levi opens his eyes and looks at his hand. Long, garish claws adorn his fingers. But the rest of him is completely human. The plane of light snaps back into place, and the claws disappear with a crack.

Erwin gazes awestruck at Levi until the stoplight turns green. He shakes his head. "Did Ymir teach you how to do that?"

"No," Levi says. "This I learned on my own."

**

The girls are distracted by static.

"What's the matter?" Armin asks Mikasa.

"It's just weird," she says, sensing the staff moving through the building. "It's kind of like...if you had a bunch of little broken radios just playing static, and you put them on little moving carts or something. I don't really know how else to explain it."

"That's actually a pretty good description," Annie says. "That's how I see it, anyways. Just super staticky. Everybody at the labs is like that. It's like this noise that never stops, it's always in the background, even if you try to sleep, or even if you're under anesthesia, you can still feel it."

"Levi was like that when I met him," Mikasa mentions. "But it's strange; he was so much clearer when he came to the house the other night. I didn't think it could change that much that quickly."

"Ymir said he was 'resonant,'" Annie says, glancing over at the tall figure by the bar.

"What does that mean?" Eren asks.

"It's like a kind of connection...if you have it, it can change your current. She said it could make you more stable." Annie cuts into a thick slice of fried green tomato. "She said the two of you have it, although it's harder to see it in humans." Eren and Armin look at each other. "She said I had it, too, but she couldn't tell who with at first." She looks at Mikasa.

"Weird," Eren says.

Mikasa wonders if that's why Annie seemed to get more stable after they met, when Dr. Dreyse brought her to Savannah.

"She seemed to think Levi was a special case, though," Annie says.

"I noticed something strange about him when I met him. It was kind of beautiful, actually," Mikasa gives a little wistful smile. "It was a little bit like, if Levi was playing a note, you could hear it echo when you look at Mr. Smith. But I've never noticed it in anyone else. I mean, some humans feel similar when you look at them," she looks at the boys. "But I don't know if that's the same thing."

"It kind of seems like if you have a magnifying glass, Ymir has a microscope," Armin says. "Like you're seeing the same things, but she's getting way more detail."

"Yeah, no kidding," Annie says. "She said something else about a 'theory of cords,' too, something her tribe came up with." Annie shrugs. "I never heard of any of it. Apparently if you have cords linking you to someone, that can change your current, too. But the thing with those is that only you can see them, you can't see someone else's. Which kind of makes me wonder if it's the cords that cause the resonance, or if they're separate things. I have no idea."

"It's fascinating," Armin says. He takes a sip of his iced tea. "And no one in the labs knows about this?"

"If they did, they never mentioned it to us once." Annie sighs. "I never even knew the wild shifters were real until meeting Ymir. Kind of like seeing Bigfoot or the _chupacabra_. I heard stories as a kid, but I thought it was all made up, just stuff kids tell each other, you know."

"I wonder how many of them there are," Eren says.

Mikasa looks forlorn. "I wish I knew what they knew."

Ymir can't hear their conversation over the pressing noise of the restaurant. But she can feel herself being looked at. She weaves between her waitstaff over to their table. "You need something?"

"Yes," Annie says. "Everything you know."

Ymir chuckles, then cocks her head. "Yeah, well. Stick around, you might learn something." Her teeth seem exceptionally pointy when she smiles, Armin thinks. Ymir looks at them and realizes why Annie bothered her so much at the clinic at first. The only teenagers she's been around for years were slaves in the auction or subjects in the lab; no one sponsored, no one with the education or skill to do anything as complicated as assisting in surgery. She's not used to seeing shifters Annie's age who aren't in a state of traumatized paralysis or conditioned aggression. Her eyes fall on Armin and she squints. "I'm trying to think of who you remind me of," she says.

Armin feels a prickle of nervousness under her gaze. She turns to Annie.

"You were in the labs, too, weren't you," Ymir says. Annie nods. "Which one? Atlanta?"

"Yeah."

"Was the rabbit there when you were there?"

Annie looks confused. "I don't think I know who you're talking about."

"Oh." Ymir's face falls a little. "A kid I knew back then," she explains. "I'm not sure if he even had a name, just a number. I've never seen a rabbit shifter since. You just look sort of alike," she says to Armin. Ymir remembers the pale-faced boy, one they simply couldn't crack. A seer, and also a mute. Ymir had fascinating conversations with him. But not a single one involved physical speech.

"You know," Mikasa says, "we were serious. We really do want to know more about you." She glances around the room. "And we want to help. It's not just my family that are sponsors. There are more of us."

Ymir grins faintly. "Where to begin?" Her voice is low, but free of malice.

**

Uri pushes open the back door to the kitchen. A shy man in an apron points toward the bathroom door. Uri knocks.

"Ken? You all right?"

The door cracks open at the sound of the familiar voice. A dark red trail pours down Kenny's face, soaking into his shirt collar in lurid pink blooms.

Uri's steps back suddenly. Then he scowls. "Kenny, what the hell happened to your face? Levi did this?"

Kenny blinks slowly. "He sent them to your property, Uri."

"What?" Uri steps into the small bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

"The people who killed Rod."

Uri crosses his arms and leans against the door. He can't exactly blame Levi, in light of Kenny's wild overreaction. He expected Levi to exact some petty revenge eventually. But not like this, and not this soon. "Ken," Uri whispers, disturbed, "Where did the claws come from?"

Kenny shuts his eyes slowly. "Uri, if I knew, I would have clawed his fucking eyes out by now." He lets out a long sigh. "Can we please just go home?" His voice is weak and gravely.

Uri gives him a concerned look. "You're willing to do it?"

Kenny nods gravely. If he shifts off cycle, his phases will degrade back to a few days long, as opposed to his current week.

"Let's go to the car." Uri grabs a black trash bag off a wire shelf on their way out the door.

Kenny lays his hat and jacket in the backseat as Uri pulls the car into a dark alley. Kenny groans in pain. The air snaps violently with the sudden, forced collapse. The gray cat wriggles out of the bloodstained shirt, shaking flecks of dried blood off of his face. His bones sting and burn. Uri lays the bloody clothes in the bag and hides them under the seat; he slips Kenny's silver rings into his pocket. The cat climbs into his lap. Uri leans down and kisses his head. He slides his thumbs beneath Kenny's front legs and lifts him up; he gives him a kiss on the nose, grateful to have his cat back.

**

Erwin tries his best to follow Levi's explanations of the mechanism of the shift. Some of it, he realizes, he'll just have to observe for himself.

"When Ymir does a partial transition, it's very fluid," Levi says. "She has this very fine level of control over it. What I'm doing...it's more like a hack. That's why I can't really sustain it," he sighs. "But, it's already come in useful."

"Levi," Erwin asks, looking at the road, "Why can I see it?"

"I don't know." Levi supposes it must be the resonance, amplifying and accelerating everything. He turns to Erwin. "I'm just glad you can."

They pull into the dark driveway, and Levi feels the static. Erwin senses it, too; not just the physical feeling, but as a kind of wave of light traveling through Levi.

They walk into the house. Levi opens the door to the bedroom and slowly takes off his clothes, letting Erwin's gaze sweep over him. Erwin sits on the edge of the bed. Levi sits on Erwin's lap and drapes his arms around his neck; Erwin rests his hands on Levi's ribcage and kisses him decadently.

After a few minutes, Erwin feels Levi's body shudder in his hands, stiff from the impending change. Levi takes a deep breath and smiles. He lies across Erwin's lap and surrenders to the new cycle. Erwin watches Levi's body disappear, until only the five pound cat remains in his lap. He picks Levi up and clutches him to his chest.

Erwin wanders through the house, listening to the little cat purr against him. He contemplates his bookshelf. "There's an entire side of history I don't even know about," he thinks out loud. It fills him with a cold fury. "How long have you guys been around...I wonder how many documents on you had to be hidden, or destroyed." He thinks of the burning of witches. He wonders if any great reclusive writers were secretly shifters, imagining Emily Dickinson or Harper Lee quietly turning into cats. He wonders what else is being hidden from the public, and bristles at the feeling of not knowing how much he doesn't know.

Levi mews softly. Erwin kisses his head.

**  
Ymir leans over the iron balcony of the back porch on her break and listens to the chorus of crickets. She feels the four familiar lights disappear from the parking lot. A little stream trickles through the trees below. A stream is like a current, she thinks; a current without a body.

"You're going to become an elder," Ragako said, studying the configuration of scattered bones in front of her. "Then, a chieftain."

Ymir remembers the last gathering of the tribes, just a few days before the ambush. The seer with obsidian skin and a regal cascade of thin, tight tresses sat across from Ymir on the top of a high cliff with a fire burning next to them, covered in ancestral pelts and a few stray flakes of snow.

A snowy owl flew down to meet them, landing on Ragako's arm. She ran her fingers through the owl's thick feathers. "What do you think about that, Jinae?" The owl puffed up in approval, but Ymir felt her insides contract. The blind wolf Krolva walked through the woods beneath them, leading a group of cubs to a spring. He only had a few years left in his body, and the thought of being the one chosen to replace him on the council of elders filled Ymir with anxiety.

"I'm not ready," Ymir said.

Ragako looked at her sternly. "No one is ready," she said, releasing the owl back into the deep night sky. "It's simply a matter of answering the call." The woman peered at the bones in the firelight again. "You will go through some very difficult trials," she said without worry, or pity. "When you are called, you may be ready more than you realize."

Ymir wants to go home, but home is nowhere with the tribe torn asunder. Guess you'll just have to assemble your own, Levi said. His words eat at her. Ragako said I'd be a leader, Ymir thinks. But she never said of what tribe.

**


	38. Too much valerian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gets high by accident and tries to seduce a skeptical, nervous Erwin. Krista meets her cousin, Uri, and Kenny makes a terrible mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter involves unintentional drug use and slightly murky consent.

Levi's eyes follow Erwin around the room as he gets dressed. The little cat lies curled up on the edge of the bed, moping. When Erwin sits down to tie on his running shoes, Levi rests his head on top of Erwin's thigh. When he stands up to leave, Levi weaves between his feet, meowing.

"Levi, what's wrong?" Erwin scoops him up and scratches his chin.

Nothing's wrong, Levi thinks; I just want attention.

Erwin cradles the cat and runs his thumb lightly over the scars on his belly, now almost invisible under his fur. He kisses the cat's head and sets him back down on the floor as he opens the door. Levi swipes at Erwin's ankle, his claws pulling threads from his sock.

"Levi—" Erwin unhooks the cat's paw. He kneels down and takes the cat's face in his hands. "Is something wrong?"

Levi feels guilty at Erwin's concern. He shuts his eyes and tilts his head down. He shakes it slowly: no. Erwin laughs and Levi starts to purr.

"Hang in there, buddy, I'll be back in a few hours." For a moment, Erwin hopes his neighbors don't see him talking so candidly to his cat. Then he realizes he doesn't care. He kisses Levi on the head again. "Nanaba's making ceviche tonight," Erwin says. Levi's chest puffs up with excitement and his eyes widen. "I knew that would cheer you up. All right, kiddo, I'll see you in a few hours."

Levi slinks back into the house as Erwin climbs into the car. But it's too nice of a day not to get out and try to enjoy some of it. Sunny and clear, and not too humid; warm, but not yet oppressively hot. Levi steps through the cat door and stretches on the porch. The pain in his ribs is dulling, fading. He feels relieved. He lets out a long yawn, exposing all of his teeth and extending his claws. He meanders into the dunes. There are birds to catch.

**  
No one in the auction believes Rod's death was an accident. The only question is who orchestrated his demise: the wolf, the mysterious prey he was after, or his own daughter, now in charge of his substantial holdings. Krista intends to keep it a mystery.

"It'll do two things," Ymir explained. "If they suspect, but can't prove, that you set your dad up, it'll make them believe you're 'their kind of person,'" she said with a sneer. "And make them less likely to mess with you."

"So you want me to take the credit for your plan," Krista said, quietly mortified.

"Just allude to it," Ymir said with an evil smile. "The whole point is to make you look good. And just a little dangerous."

"How am I going to make that work," Krista said, dismayed.

Ymir looked at her pensively for a moment. "I'll give you a little tip. When you lie, keep your lies as true as possible. You don't have to pretend to be some stone-hearted killer—"

Krista sighed. "So you spent all this time telling me I'm too nice, and now you're telling me to keep being nice?" She was halfway joking.

Ymir laughed. "Honey. That's what makes it so compelling. They're going to see this pretty, charming girl, who they can't prove didn't murder her own dad," Ymir's voice had a syrupy quality, delighted by its own wickedness. "They don't know what kind of relationship the two of you had! He used to brag sometimes about his bright little 'Historia.' For all they know, 'Historia' is an alias you picked out. For all they know, he died buying you a debut gift. It's so tragic."

Krista shuddered at the thought. Eventually, she'll have to debut; perhaps even host a party. Talk about keeping your enemies closer, she thought.

"Besides," Ymir continued. "Why else do you think I was so fascinated by you?" Ymir draped her arms around Krista's shoulders, brushing her lips against her face. "It's not hard to find a cute girl to look at. But you," she said, drawing back, running her finger under Krista's chin, "You're a lot more than just pretty. Or just 'nice.' I always knew there was a lot more underneath that surface, just dying to come out."

Ymir kissed Krista, and Krista welcomed the distraction from her guilt. From her anger, her bitterness, her grief. Maybe that's what fascinates me about you, she thought, craning her neck up, wrapping her arms around the dense, flat column of Ymir's waist. You're all these things I'm not allowed to be.

Krista looks at herself in the mirror, her hair pinned back in a severe, tight twist. She fastens a string of pearls around her neck and scowls. She carefully paints on a layer of dark red lipstick. Much better. She realizes that for the first time in her life, there are people who are afraid of her.

"I wonder what kind of sick rumors they're spreading about me," she muses, blotting her lips with a tissue.

Ymir watches her, leaning against the wall in her trademark black dress, this time with nicer shoes and few borrowed pieces of Krista's jewelry. "You don't think it's just as likely your folks are trying to cover this whole inheritance thing up?" Just like they tried to cover you up, Ymir implies.

Krista meets her gaze in the mirror and understands. "Good point." She shakes a can of hairspray and delivers a quick blast to the back of her head.

"Don't worry about it, honey. You just stride in there like the queen you are. You know none of them can touch you."

**

The van pulls up in front of Erwin's house.

"Still nothing," the short woman says.

The driver squints at her. "Are you this place isn't a vacation rental?"

"It's not listed as one," she says. "Besides, look at the readout." She shows the driver the infrared image on the tablet screen. The pipes glow faintly, warmer than the rest of the house.

"All right," the driver shrugs. "Put it back on the list. What's the next subdivision?"

The van putters out of the neighborhood.

**

The wide, gray beach is mostly empty. Levi looks at the sunlight drawing an electric streak across the water to the horizon when he feels the crackle start. He skitters back into the house and lays on the bed. He stretches out onto the cool sheets and notices the little jar of catnip on the night table, just beginning to wilt. The tea Carla made him was from the fresh leaves. Surely, he thinks, these will work, even if they're a little past their prime.

He gets dressed and puts the kettle on. As he opens the cupboard to retrieve a mug, he spots the box of valerian. The two teas had been so good on their own. Levi wonders what they would taste like together. He pours the boiling water over the leaves and granules and waits. A strange but enticing aroma fills the air.

Levi takes a sip. It's quite good. He takes another. It's profoundly good. A sensuous buzzing takes place in his current. He takes the mug to the back porch and savors the brew slowly.

Then it begins.

Levi feels as though his current has been torn wide open. A sensation of ecstasy descends upon him. A surreal, orgasmic pleasure overwhelms his body. He looks at his hands and sees them made of glowy, sparkling light, as if he himself is the sunlight on the water. He takes a deep breath. Breathing has never felt so good. The air is delicious.

He walks in a trancelike state back down to the water, beaming, euphoric. He sits at the edge of the surf and breathes in time with the waves. He begins to see lines. A line leading from him to the spring. The grid of telluric lines traversing the beach. The fantastic web of glowing colored cords leading in all directions. Lines from his body leading deep into the earth, and upwards, into the sky. Levi's vision begins to disintegrate. He is the beach. He is the sky. Who is Levi Ackerman? He is suddenly a million years old, and no day has ever been so perfect.

**

Krista feels her insides clench as she looks around the church. She grips Ymir's hand. She feels cold at the realization that to half the people in the room, Ymir is her partner, and to the other half, Ymir is her property. It's not uncommon for the auction to take on shifters as surrogate partners, unwitting or unwilling escorts, Ymir explained. At least, Krista thinks, it doesn't look out of place for for her to cling to Ymir, cleaving to her side. Ymir's awareness sweeps the space and picks up a half-dozen little staticky channels behind them. Of all the places for them to show off their prizes, a fucking funeral, she thinks. She shakes her head. It shouldn't surprise her.

"You know you're not obligated to say anything to anyone," Ymir whispers. "No one from the auction expects me to speak as it is."

Krista feels her half-brothers' eyes burning into her as she sits in a front pew on the opposite side of the sanctuary, next to a short man she doesn't recognize. He has white hair, a complexion like dust, and an expression of faintly bemused skepticism at the flower-draped closed casket before them. Ymir knows the face from a singular dusty photograph, a graying family portrait that hangs in Rod's office.

"Do you know who that is," Ymir whispers under the faint chatter filling the tall, open room. Krista shakes her head. "That one you should introduce yourself to."

Krista turns to him tentatively. "Hi," she says, trying to even out the tremor in her voice. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Krista."

The man gives her a pained look. There's only one person this woman can be, looking just like a younger, blonde-haired Frieda. "Did he make you change your name, or did you change it?"

Krista draws back, confused.

"I'm sorry," the man says. "Your father and I had a...difficult relationship. He mentioned you to me, but clearly never bothered to introduce us. My name is Uri. I'm your cousin." He shakes her hand.

"He never told me about you," Krista admits. She wonders how much other family she has that she doesn't even know about. She chooses to trust Ymir's judgment. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Ymir leans forward slightly. "We haven't met," she says softly. "But tell Kenny I said hello."

"Who's Kenny?" Krista asks, anxious.

"He's Levi's uncle," Ymir says. "They escaped from a...'friend' of your dad's, a long time ago."

Uri lets out a dry chuckle and gives Ymir a sidelong glance, putting the pieces together. He nods. "I've heard about you."

"Good things, I hope," Ymir says with a wicked little grin.

"Depends on who you ask," Uri says.

Ymir looks satisfied.

Uri turns to her. "I don't suppose those were your pawprints I saw on my property a few days ago."

Ymir says nothing. She smiles and lets her eyes flash yellow. Krista feels nervous. No part of her misses Rod, though she misses the abstract father she could have had. It's their cavalier attitude toward his death that makes her feel she's walking a dangerous line. How far can she go, she wonders; how callous can she become before she loses her center? How much evil does someone have to commit to deserve to die? She tries to suppress the questions.

Uri shakes his head. "Rod was playing a dangerous game," he says to Krista. "He lost." His expression turns somber. "You might have guessed, but I choose not to partake in this little...pastime of your father's. I seriously hope that if you're not already playing, you never start."

"I never knew about any of this until a few days ago," Krista whispers. Ymir wraps her arm around her shoulder.

"I figured those other footprints were too big to be yours," Uri says.

Krista puts her face in her hands.

"So you're not playing," Uri says pensively, "but you still have to 'show up for the games,' don't you."

"Oh my god, I don't want to deal with these people."

Uri nods knowingly. The minister at the pulpit instructs the crowd to bow their heads. The room goes silent.

**

"Gatito, what happened to your face?" A petite woman with a graying braid laughs and places her hand under Kenny's jaw. "Somebody got you real good, didn't they."

Kenny says nothing. He should be a cat, at home, not waiting nervously for Uri on the porch of Mazatlán, the restaurant Uri has just sold to the jovial owner of Holy Molé. But the injury has thrown him off again. He picks out the spire of the church a few blocks away. Uri said he'd only be an hour, but it still seems too long.

"It's ok, you don't have to talk about it." She sits next to him with her coffee. Kenny takes another sip of his. "You need the office?" Mazatlán is one of Kenny's many hiding places, a temporary retreat in the case of an unexpected shift.

"I'm all right," he says.

"Ok, honey, you just let me know."

Kenny sighs. "How are the girls?"

The woman shrugs. "Eh, they're ok. Still shaky, you know. It's hard, coming right out of it. Plus, the language." She thinks wistfully of the three young women she smuggled out of an auction party in El Paso. "Where's Levi?" She asks. "I haven't seen him in a while."

Kenny narrows his eyes and goes back to reading his newspaper. She gets the hint.

**

Everything has a pulse. Everything has a current. Everything is brilliantly colorful, glowing with crystalline facets. Levi wanders down the beach in amazement. His body feels weightless, made of scintillating light. For the moment, he forgets everything; there are no shifters, no humans, no sand, no houses, no beach. Just a wild cacophony of energy. Just fascination. Bliss.

**

"Put this in your purse." Ymir swipes the guestbook off the table in the anteroom of the church as the crowd filters out of the heavy wooden doors to the gravesite.

"What? Why?" Krista looks alarmed.

"Because, depending on what they wrote down, you might have the legal names of almost twenty members of the auction," Ymir whispers. She shoves the gold-edged book into Krista's bag as discreetly as possible. Fuck it, Krista thinks; I paid for that book, if the others want it, they can fucking fight me.

**

The effect of the herbs begins to weaken, but only slightly. Levi's awareness sinks gently back into his body, but the fuzzy euphoria and kaleidoscopic visuals remain. There's only one thing that could possibly make this better, he realizes: Erwin.

Erwin opens the refrigerator and contemplates his lunch. Levi pulls open the back door.

"Hey, I wondered where you—"

Levi throws his arms around Erwin. "Erwin. I'm so happy you're here," he says with an elated, breathless whisper.

Erwin looks confused. "I—well, yeah, Levi, I'm glad to see you, too."

Levi mushes his body against Erwin, trying to feel him with the entire surface of his skin. He makes happy groans.

"Levi, are you...have you been drinking?"

Levi says nothing. He pulls on the collar of Erwin's shirt and stands on his toes, giving Erwin an exuberant kiss; he plunges his tongue into Erwin's mouth as if he's never tasted anything so decadent, so divine.

Erwin laughs and pulls away, his hands on Levi's waist. "Levi, what are you doing? What is the matter with you?"

"Nothing," Levi breathes with a rapturous smile. "Erwin...Erwin, everything is so perfect." Levi wraps his arms around Erwin again, straining Erwin's ribcage. "Erwin...everything is wonderful." He rubs his face all over Erwin's chest. "You...you're wonderful, Erwin. You're so perfect." Levi starts to sink toward the floor.

"Ok, Levi," Erwin catches Levi under his arms and pulls him upright. He rubs the back of Levi's head. "Why don't we go lie down."

"Yes," Levi whispers, taking shaky steps into the living room, supported by Erwin. He flops onto the couch.

If Erwin weren't so perplexed, he'd find Levi's state of delirious, mystified happiness adorable. But concern is winning out. "Levi, did you, um...eat anything, or drink anything unusual...?

"No, Erwin," Levi says with half-open eyes. "I just had my tea. I had the best tea ever, Erwin. Erwin, it was so good..." He reaches for Erwin's shoulders and pulls him toward him. "It was amazing," he whispers. Levi kisses him again.

Erwin decides to go with it. He slips his hand behind Levi's neck, the other underneath his torso. He's not sure anyone's ever kissed him with such ardent desperation. But it's not long before Levi's teeth turn to fangs. Erwin draws back. "Ok, maybe we should stop," he says.

"No," Levi says, with a pained look. "Keep going!" He reaches for Erwin's shirt. His claws split it into ribbons. Erwin clasps Levi's wrists in his hands. Now Levi is confused: Erwin appears to him as a radiant light-being, shining a like a god. Why is he stopping?

"Levi...look. This is not going to work. This only even kind of works when you're not...like this, and I don't know what has gotten into you, but you're basically...drunk and holding ten small knives."

Levi looks back and forth at his hands. They look beautiful, he thinks. What's wrong with my hands? "Erwin I don't understand," he says, his eyes beginning to tear up. "Please keep going...please? Erwin, I want you so much..."

Erwin's chin drops to his chest. He tightens his grip on Levi's arms. "Levi, what did you do..." He looks back at Levi again.

Levi's eyes shine with a sort of pitiful, innocent wonder. Then, he smiles. "You're so beautiful, he says." He shuts his eyes and tilts his head back. "Erwin, please keep going."

This is it, Erwin thinks. I'm going to hell. "Ok," he concedes. He kisses Levi's neck. Levi shudders, and Erwin perceives a ripple of light coming off of him. Erwin takes a deep breath. He pins Levi's wrists behind his head with one hand, and slides the other up Levi's shirt. Levi's skin feels electric. Each time Erwin touches him, he lets out a little moan of excitement, and Erwin perceives a glow coming from Levi's body. What the hell am I doing, he asks himself. But he can't lie. As much as it disturbs him, he likes the feeling of being so intensely wanted, the feeling of being powerful. Levi looks at him with an awestruck hunger, looking through him as much as at him. Erwin wonders what exactly Levi is seeing.

"Stay here," he says, getting up. Levi reaches for him and Erwin catches his wrists again before his claws sink into his shoulders. Erwin presses Levi's arms back down into the cushions, keeping pressure on them until he's standing fully upright. Levi turns over and grips the arm of the couch, his claws piercing the upholstery.

Erwin walks back into the living room, naked, holding a towel and the jar of oil. He freezes. A strange aura emanates from Levi. Fields of color and light. Is he seeing what Levi is seeing? Erwin sits next to him and places his thumbs in the centers of Levi's palms, keeping his hands at a safe distance. "Levi...what are you seeing right now?" Erwin asks.

Levi smiles. "Everything." The room is shot through with brilliant cords in all directions. Flickering visions pass through his mind. A luminous path connects him to Erwin. "It's so beautiful," he sighs. Erwin is seized with doubt. "Kiss me," Levi implores, lying on his back.

Erwin releases his hands. "Levi, can you hold still?"

"Yes." He squirms on the couch. Erwin is skeptical.

Erwin pulls Levi's shirt off of him, hoping to spare it from his claws. He ties it around Levi's wrists. "Is that ok?"

Levi continues to smile. "Yes, I like it," he says, as if it were plainly obvious.

Erwin sighs and pulls off the rest of Levi's clothes, less concerned about his clawed feet than his clawed hands.

"Your hands feel so good," Levi says. He sees sparks coming from Erwin's fingers. It fills him with an indescribable joy.

Erwin grabs Levi's hips and licks him from the base of his tail to the tip of his erect cock. Levi's back stiffens. The atmosphere in the room feels dense, heavy with reddish light.

"Please," Levi pants. "I want you so much."

Erwin presses one hand down on Levi's stomach, fingering him with the other. Levi's breathing quickens and the light intensifies. Erwin pushes Levi's knees to his chest. The shirt comes untied, and Erwin pushes Levi's arms into the cushions.

"I need you to tell me if you want me to stop, ok?" Erwin says.

"Why would you stop? Didn't I ask you to keep going?"

If he didn't seem so supernaturally happy, Erwin would pull back. Doubt still gnaws at him, a little dark spot in the light-filled room. Levi's eyes roll back as Erwin penetrates him; Erwin can't be sure, but they seem to be glowing, a pale, electric blue. He presses himself hard into Levi, each thrust eliciting an ecstatic little moan. Erwin's body is heavy; the pressure of his weight against Levi and the tension of his deepening strokes against Levi's nerves are the only thing keeping Levi's consciousness in his body.

He hits the breaking point. He surrenders. Levi orgasms and feels himself torn apart again, similar to when the tea first kicked in. He drifts above their bodies, near the ceiling. Erwin grips Levi's arms harder as he comes, then releases him. Levi's claws begin to disappear back into his hands.

"Levi?" Erwin withdraws, his body still arced above Levi; he touches Levi's face. There's no response. The light in the room returns to normal; no strange astral colors, just the afternoon sun. Everything is quiet. "Levi?" Erwin asks again, worried. Levi's eyes remain half-open, glowing.

Levi reaches for the threads and pulls himself back into his body. His eyes flutter open, back to normal. "Erwin, I—" His eyes fall shut again.

Erwin cleans Levi up, peels off the condom, and lays down on his side next to Levi, amused at how quickly Levi fell asleep. He wraps an arm around Levi's waist and pulls him closer, but quickly succumbs to his own drowsiness.

**

Kenny's current crackles painfully as he walks through the cool, shady alley toward Uri's car.

"You sure you don't want the office?" The owner, Lupe, had said.

"It's fine," he muttered. "Uri's going to be back any minute."

"All right, if you say so." She gave him a little hug and sent him on his way. No one else on the crowded porch perceived the staticky noise but her.

Street parking is always a nightmare, Zackley realized, late for the funeral, scrambling to find a spot before the service began. He had to settle for a narrow wedge a few blocks away from the church. On the way back, he spots a familiar looking figure turning down an alley. Perhaps, he thinks, he won't bother going to the reception after all. Especially not if Historia isn't going to be there.

Kenny reaches in his pocket for the keys. Another face appears in the reflection in the driver's side window. Something hard and metal presses against the center of Kenny's back. Zackley cocks the handgun.

Zackley senses the erratic current coming off of him and grins. "Now, if I'm not mistaken," he says with imminent satisfaction, "aren't your ashes are supposed to be in Nikolai Lovoff's basement?"

**  
Krista sinks into the driver's seat of her car and shudders.

"I'm impressed with how good you are at pretending to cry," Ymir says. Krista just groans. "Ok, what's the damage?" Ymir reaches into Krista's bag and fishes around for a half-dozen business cards. She pulls out the stack and sorts through them. Each one has only a first name and a phone number. Ymir sneers. The uninitiated might think they were prostitutes. "Arthur," she reads. She thinks of the gangly, hawkish man, living in a mansion on the river. "Usually a host. Doesn't own that many, but loves to throw parties." She uncovers the next one. "Oh. Fuck. Janice. Ok, Janice makes Arthur look like an amateur. Lives in an old plantation house outside of town with a small army, basically," Ymir says bitterly. "Huh. Mitchell. Dumb as a fucking post. Makes your father look like he actually knew what he was doing."

"I think I'm going to vomit," Krista mutters. A half-hour of pretending her name is still Historia Reiss and tearfully feigning upset is all she can stand. "Ymir...can we do this later?"

"Yeah, honey. Of course." Ymir slips the name cards back into Krista's purse, except for one. "Hey," she reaches gently for Krista's face. "You were great out there, you know." Krista smiles faintly. "You did such a good job pretending to be in cahoots with your dad, I almost started to hate you as much as I hated him."

Krista starts to laugh. Then she starts to cry. "Oh my god, what am I going to do now?"

Ymir strokes her back. "You're going to drive home, you're going to open that bottle of wine, and you're going to have a proper night off for once." Krista sighs. "And you're going to wait at least a week before you call any of these sick people," Ymir adds. She looks at the remaining card in her hand: Darius, set in silver type. She crushes it in her fist.

**

Levi inhales sharply through his nose. He sits up and stretches; he peels his eyes open. "Holy shit," he says to the air, regaining sober consciousness. He breathes heavily. His body is pleasantly sore.

Erwin sits up and lays his hands on Levi. "Are you ok?" Please, God, he thinks; please tell me I did not just assault the man I'm in love with while he was high.

Levi turns to him. "Yeah. I feel great," he says. Erwin collapses back onto the couch with relief. Levi looks around the room. "I just..." he shakes his head, "was not expecting that."

Erwin pulls Levi onto his chest. "What happened?"

"Apparently, if you mix valerian and catnip together...it takes you to another dimension."

"Wait a second," Erwin says, alarmed. "Do you remember what just happened?"

"Erwin," Levi looks down at him, "I hope I never forget what just happened." He smiles and lets himself melt back into Erwin's chest.


	39. Beaches and basements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny discovers he isn't alone at Zackley's. Meanwhile, things are going swimmingly for Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and we're back! Just a short-ish update for now, but hoping to update on at least a weekly basis from here on (fingers crossed). Anyways, happy 2017, and thanks for reading!

When Erwin wakes up on the couch, he feels like he's been asleep for days. Levi lies comatose in his arms, his chest slowly rising and falling. Erwin glances at the clock. It's only been half an hour.

"Levi," Erwin whispers.

Levi groans.

"Levi, I need to get up now."

Levi nods but doesn't move. Erwin slides himself out from underneath Levi, laying like a heavy log, semi-conscious on the couch.

"Are you ok?" Erwin chuckles and strokes Levi's hair. Levi nods again and lets out a little affirmative grumble, then rolls over, facing the back of the couch. Erwin pulls the blanket over him and leaves to get dressed.

His phone buzzes, a text from Nanaba: _Can you pick up a bottle of wine for tonight?_

_No problem_ , Erwin types. _You're not drinking...?_ For a second he wonders if this is her way of breaking bad news.

_Nope :)_ she writes back.

Erwin fixes himself a light lunch in anticipation of Nanaba cooking to impress. He peeks in the living room. Levi is still asleep, his faint snores just barely audible over the air conditioning.

Erwin sits at the kitchen table and answers a string of emails. He glances in the living room again. Levi is still out cold.

He folds and puts away a load of laundry, makes a grocery list, and runs the dishwasher. Still no signs of life.

Erwin walks out onto the porch and nearly steps on a dead wren. Levi, we talked about this, he thinks. He shakes his head and retrieves the shovel, and deposits the ill-fated bird in the bushes.

It's not until he's almost finished grading a stack of short papers that a dressed but drowsy Levi joins him on the porch with a glass of water. Levi sits next to him on the couch with a slightly glazed expression, gazing out over the marsh. He squints and takes a sip of water. "Probably won't do that again for a while."

"Three dimensions are enough for 'ya?" Erwin glances up from the papers.

"I think I lived about six lifetimes on the beach this morning."

"Well...were they any good?" Erwin laughs.

"Tch. Yeah, but you weren't in them, so I had to come back and find you." Levi finishes the glass.

Erwin smiles, silent for a moment. He notices the tail of the catnip mouse poking out of Levi's pocket. "I thought you said you had enough of catnip."

"Hair of the dog," Levi mutters. He yawns and covers his mouth.

"So you really didn't know that was going to happen?"

Levi scoffs. "Do you actually think I would just go get high on the beach and not bother to even tell you? Or invite you? Or something?"

"Well, no—"

"Besides," Levi sighs, "if I'd known about that, I would have experimented with it sooner." He stretches out across the couch and lays his head in Erwin’s lap. "Most drugs don't work on shifters. Not that I'm some junkie, or some layabout—"

"That's pretty much the last way I'd describe you." Erwin lays his hand on Levi's chest. Levi feels the heat of it through his shirt. "I remember you said painkillers didn't work. But alcohol does."

"Yeah, for better or for worse." Levi thinks of Kenny's bourbon-soaked rages. "It has something to do with your body of energy," he explains. "It's not just a physical effect. It's part of why Uri trusts Kenny and me to move stuff for him. It doesn't do jack shit for us."

"You sure you're all right?"

"Yeah," Levi says, letting his eyes drift shut. "Just sleepy."

"You gonna' make it to Mike and Nanaba's?"

Levi's eyes snap open immediately. "I can rally for ceviche," he says with absolute certainty.

Spoken like a true cat, Erwin thinks.

**  
When Kenny opens his eyes, the room is dark except for a square of light from a window far above him. He feels his hands and freezes. Thick, striated gray fur covers the backs of them. In his mouth, his tongue brushes against sharp fangs. He feels his face. Whiskers flank his human nose. In his entire life, he has only ever been a human or a cat. Nothing in between, never the nameless, intermediary creature he is now. His current crackles, bent like a street sign hit by a car, pulled down by an artificial force Kenny doesn't recognize. He feels the impulse to scream. No sound escapes his body.

"He's awake," a voice says behind him. Kenny turns around and discerns a silhouette of horns.

**

From the corner of his eye, Bertolt spots a plume of smoke, curling up from the state park on the other side of the bay. He assumes it must be Annie and Mikasa and another of their towering bonfires. What is it with the cats who love to burn things, he wonders. His paws gush into the wet sand, just escaping the surf. Mike hurls a tennis ball down the beach, and Bert is suddenly powerless to do anything but run. Suddenly no object exists in the universe except for the tennis ball. Bert sprints, sending little flecks of sand flying. He will have this tennis ball. He will capture it at any cost.

Reiner leaps up and catches it in mid air. He flops onto the sand, his tail swishing furiously. Bert lets out a mournful howl.

"Bert, get over it." Mike extracts the ball from Reiner's teeth and chucks it down the beach again. This time Bert emerges victorious, snapping the ball up off the sand. He darts back with it, this time to Nanaba. Lucky kids, Erwin thinks, with Mike being a football coach and Nanaba having played college softball. The ball flies from Nanaba's hand in a pristine arc and the dog boys rocket after it.

Levi walks with his hand in Erwin's, the other around the edge of a plastic wine glass, his stomach cramping from the ungodly amount of fish he consumed the hour prior. The sky turns a riot of colors as the sun disappears. On this side of the beach, spindly pines grow closer to the water, leaving behind massive skeletons of driftwood at the surf's edge. The cages of the sun-bleached dead trees leave twisted shadows, stretching down the beach in the evening light. Levi longs to travel. But he wonders how long it would take before he started to miss the haunting landscapes of the coast again, rendered newly special by Erwin's presence. It's strange, he thinks, to perceive such bright light coming from Erwin, which no human seems able to see. Even the dogs seem oblivious. Levi takes a sip of his wine, a pleasant tingle spreading through his current.

"You could probably take the translation exam," Nanaba says to Levi, picking up their conversation from earlier. "I won't proctor it again until November, though. And you'd probably have to pretend to be Erwin. But then you could get added to a database of translators, for freelance work." The thought causes Levi's chest to expand. As happy as he is to wire flowers together for Carla, the thought of more intellectual work causes all kinds of potential futures to bloom in his mind.

Mike laughs dryly. "You don't look much like an 'Erwin,'" he says to Levi. He turns to the other man. "What's your middle name, again?"

"Anton," Erwin says.

"Yeah, that could work," Mike muses. "Anton Smith. I like the sound of that." In spite of himself, Levi can't help but smile.

"You better ace that exam if you're gonna' pretend to be me," Erwin says jokingly. "I can't have you making me look bad."

"Tch." Levi just shakes his head.

"You better hope and pray nobody starts talkin' to you in German, Erwin." Mike says. Erwin laughs. He passed his reading exam in graduate school on a wing and a prayer.

Bert runs up to Levi with the tennis ball in his mouth and whines. Levi raises an eyebrow. "Oh. You want me to throw it." He grimaces and draws the saliva-covered ball from the dogs mouth. He pitches his arm forward vigorously and the dogs sprint ahead. Then they stop. They look around confusedly. Reiner grumbles; Bert hangs his head, the little stub of his tail points toward the ground. The tennis ball is still in Levi's hand. His cruel laugh echoes down the beach.

From across the bay, lying in the crook of Eren's arm next to the tower of fire, Armin swears he hears laughter in the distance. Mikasa can just barely make out a little spark of current light on the opposite shore.

**

Kenny remembers Zackley's face from Lovoff's parties. He doesn't know what makes him sicker: Zackley's proud expression, or the nauseating crackle in his current, still depressed and deformed. His arm feels sore as though from an injection he doesn't remember. A grotesque man with the horns and ears of a bull and hooves for hands sits in the corner of the room: security. The man's body is covered in scars and brands, forming bizarre patterns and runes. A cartoonish gold ring hangs from his nose.

"Where do you come from?" Zackley asks detachedly, sitting in a chair with his legs crossed.

Kenny sits on the cold, concrete floor, the panic from before having crystallized into numbness. "Louisiana," he says, his voice raspy and strange from his not-quite-human throat. "Twenty miles from New Orleans."

"I see," Zackley replies with mild amusement. "And you were always a shifter?"

Kenny feels too weak to fight. Perhaps the best way out is through, he thinks. He pretends to cooperate. "I don't remember not being one."

"Fascinating," Zackley says dryly; his voice falls with faint disappointment. "And what is your earliest memory?"

Kenny sits in silence for a moment. He notices the bull: the enormous man's current moves with the same noxious, artificial bend, the same downward force. He senses other figures nearby, but only vaguely, perhaps in other rooms. Strange currents that seem neither shifter nor human; unusually brilliant, but streaked with tremendous pain. "My mother. As a cat. She had a bird in her mouth."

Zackley nods. "And where is the other cat? The one who was with you at Lovoff's."

"He's dead," Kenny says. Even in his diminished state, he tries to conceal his panic. The bull in the corner snorts, as if catching his bluff. Kenny knows Levi would leave him to rot. But not Uri. And Levi is still a weapon for hire.

"Now, now," Zackley's condescension makes Kenny want to slit his throat, more than he already does. "I know you didn't get away from Nikolai on your own," he says as if talking to a child. Or simply an idiot. "What happened to the other little cat?"

Kenny says nothing. The bull speaks. "When he asks you a question, you answer it," the low voice rumbles.

"He's dead."

Zackley cocks his head. "Tell me the truth." He reaches in his pocket for a small zippered case and opens it. In the dim light, Kenny sees the glint of a syringe.

"He's dead," Kenny growls, "because I killed him."

Zackley gives him an incredulous look. The bull doesn't perceive Kenny's panic, how desperately he wishes the others will find him, how bitterly he regrets going after Levi. On the other side of the cinderblock wall, a woman with feather-covered arms sits in darkness. She perceives it, as clear as day.

**

Levi grins contentedly at the laptop screen. In one tab, a new email account for Anton Smith, confirmed by Erwin; in another, a PayPal account. "Don't give me your credit card numbers," Levi says mischievously. "There are places that deliver fish to your door, you know."

"I'll let you order that yourself once you get on a roll." Erwin smiles at the thought of stacks of styrofoam coolers on the front stoop, addressed to 'Anton.' He lays his bathrobe over the back of his chair and climbs into bed. Levi shuts the computer and joins him. Erwin switches off the light, but the uncanny glow from Levi remains. Erwin blinks his eyes a few times. If the light weren't so comforting, he would find it deeply strange.

Levi lets himself cling to Erwin. He falls asleep quickly, to vague, watery dreams of angels and minotaurs.


	40. Don't ask favors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gets a job offer, but it's not the kind of job he wants.

Levi scowls as Erwin switches on the blender. Erwin pours a thick green ooze into a glass.

"How can you even eat that," Levi mutters, slicing a piece of fish meticulously.

"It's supposed to be healthy," Erwin says. He doesn't lend much credence to a man who eats raw fish at every possible opportunity. He takes a sip. He promptly spits it in the sink and coughs.

"Tch. Here. Let me cook you something." Levi leaves the fish on the counter and opens the refrigerator.

"Levi—"

He waves off Erwin’s protestation. "You have time. I'll clean it up when you leave." Before Erwin can get another word in, Levi is already cracking open eggs into a bowl. He hunts in a drawer for a whisk.

"What are you doing?"

"Hush," Levi says without turning around. "You need to eat." He pours the eggs into a skillet. "Don't get up." He reaches for his plate of sliced fish and spinach and tips it into the skillet, too.

"Levi, come on."

"Don't be a hypocrite, Erwin." Levi folds the mixture into a perfect, fluffy omelette. "You'd do the same thing for me."

Erwin starts to speak, but no words come out. Levi’s right. Erwin decides to surrender. He supposes Monday mornings are better with Levi's oddly dictatorial style of love. He gets up from the table and walks up behind Levi at the stove. "I can't eat all that. You have to share it with me."

"Fine." Levi serves two plates and sits down next to Erwin. It really is pretty good, even if he says so himself. As far as cooked things go, anyway. A little smug smile appears on his face. Erwin can't help but notice.

"Hm. Mandatory breakfast. I could get used to this," Erwin chuckles to himself.

"Anything's better than that shit in a blender." Levi reaches for his tea.

Erwin lays their dishes in the sink. He gathers up his briefcase and gym bag. "Call me if you need anything," he says as he starts for the door. He feels strange saying it, though it's no challenge for the cat to press the phone keys with his paw. Still, Erwin hates to imagine the panic a silent phone call from his own home would set off in him.

"I know," Levi says gently. He doesn't need the reminder. But he appreciates the thought. He leans his head against Erwin's chest. Erwin kisses his temple.

"I'll see you tonight," Erwin says. Levi smiles.

**

The house is empty when Erwin gets home. He supposes Levi is on the porch or on the beach, but the empty living room still gives him a little pang of worry. He lays a pile of mail on the desk next to the computer and notices Levi's stack of notes on top of Josephine's book. He smiles at the cat's handwriting: a tight, pointed cursive with a heavy slant. Erwin taps in his password and the computer screen reveals the long document in German, cursor blinking at the end. Looks like he had a prolific day, Erwin thinks.

No one sits on the porch, human or feline. Erwin’s halfway down the boardwalk when he spots Levi's dark hair through the dune grass. He goes back into the house.

Levi notices a shadow next to him. He shuts Erwin's novel, lays it on the beach towel underneath him, and looks up to see Erwin smiling, holding two plastic glasses of wine.

"I was hoping you were out here," Erwin says. Levi grins, but Erwin catches himself: here as opposed to where, the back of a van? Erwin hands Levi the wine and pulls a towel off his shoulder, laying it next to Levi's.

Levi takes a sip with an expression of subtle satisfaction. He'd never said out loud he liked this wine, but Erwin remembered him pouring himself multiple glasses of it. "How was your day?" Levi asks serenely, as if it were the most typical of Mondays, as if they did this all the time.

"I got lucky with my classes this year," Erwin muses, looking at the waves. The sky is taking on a pink glow. "Can't complain too much when it's a good cast of characters."

"Good, I'm glad those brats don't give you any trouble," Levi smirks.

Erwin isn't sure how serious Levi is about considering his students brats. "Nothing I can't handle," he says. "The 'brats' say hello, by the way."

"Tch." Levi looks at the sand with a mixture of appreciation and jealousy. He had joked about wishing he could be in Erwin's class. He had hoped, when Armin disappeared as a child, that he had ended up somewhere better, and hearing Mikasa's story had made him relieved she ended up with the Jaegers and Armin. Sneaking into classes with Farlan, Levi sometimes wished he'd been able to go to a normal school; get stable and hide in plain sight, like Mikasa. Other times, he was glad he never had to; he'd been raised by a professor, after all. Conflicting feelings distract him; he looks toward the water as if the patterns in the waves hold some kind of insight.

"Are you all right?" Erwin asks.

"I'm fine," Levi says. He slides over and leans his head against Erwin's shoulder. He takes another sip of the good wine.

**

The television flickers in the dark living room. Erwin lies on his side with his arm around a sleeping Levi. He supposes cats do sleep a lot, nearly asleep himself as the TV switches to highlights from the finished football game.

The doorbell rings. Levi goes rigid as he wakes up. Erwin feels a prickle of dread. He has a feeling it isn't the neighborhood kids selling Girl Scout cookies.

"Should I ignore it?" Erwin whispers.

"No," Levi says. "It's clear you're home." He gets up and creeps to the window. A familiar car stands in the driveway. "Fuck," he mutters.

"What's the matter?"

"You should answer it." The doorbell rings again.

Erwin walks into the bedroom and discreetly slips his handgun into his back pocket. Levi stands to the side with his arms crossed as Erwin slowly opens the door.

A pale man stands on the doorstep. About Levi's height, with white hair, he looks to Erwin like Armin aged thirty years.

"I hate to bother you so late in the evening," the man says calmly, with a refined accent that hints at old money. "But I seem to have lost my cat."

**

"You're—fuck," Levi nearly spits into his tea. "You're kidding. Fifteen thousand. That's how much Kenny's worth to you."

Uri laughs calmly, with a nonchalance that makes it clear to Erwin that he's used to Levi's abrasive attitudes. "No, no," he says, folding his hands, "that's how much I know you'll accept."

Levi glares at him incredulously.

"Levi," Uri says, "I didn't come here to ask you some favor. I'm offering you a job, pure and simple."

Levi scowls. "You realize what you're asking me to do."

Uri scoffs. "Come on. You think whoever's got Kenny is any smarter or more dangerous than the kind of folks y'all deal with for me on a regular basis? Really, now."

"Uri—" Levi groans and sets his tea cup on the coffee table. "You know what? Yeah. I do. Not everybody in the auction is your cousin Rod, ok?"

Uri cocks his head slightly and gives Levi a knowing look. "Levi, look. Even if they're all 'evil geniuses,'" Uri says mockingly, "you and Ken have slipped through their fingers for ten years. Now that's no accident, and you know it. There's a reason I hired you two, you know. But if they've got Ken, you gotta' head 'em off at the pass. You gotta' get to them before they get to you. You knew this day might come eventually. Why do you think Ken was so pissed when you jumped ship? Hm?"

There's a pause. Erwin studies Uri for a moment. He doesn't seem desperate, Erwin thinks. But it's clear he's not taking 'no' for an answer.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Fine," Levi declares. "But I want an advance."

"Shouldn't we...think about this?" Erwin asks.

"Erwin, what is there to think about? Kenny is the only other person that isn't one of your friends who knows who I am. And where I am. I...god damn it, Kenny..." Levi sinks his face into his hands.

Uri leafs through his wallet. "Here's what I got on me." He hands Levi a stack of crisp hundred dollar bills. Levi reaches out and swipes the cash without looking up.

"I do hate to rope you into this," Uri says to Erwin. He shakes his head. "Sure is a cruel world we've gotten ourselves into, isn't it?" He holds Erwin's gaze for just a split second long enough to betray the pain.

**

Ymir cackles on the other end of the phone. The noise from the restaurant drones behind her. "Well that's...wow. Shit. That's tough luck."

"He said he went missing after the funeral," Levi says with bitter resignation. He prays he's been just vague enough over the phone, and that Ymir still catches his drift. As far as he knows, the illusion still stands that Krista owns Rod's staff. Levi swore to himself he'd die before giving up information on other shifters. But the last time he was brought to that edge was by Lovoff, and at that point, he had no information to give. It's no wonder, he thinks, that the networks between them are so weak. The capture of one points to all the rest.

"Interesting," Ymir says. In her mind's eye, she sees the gold-edged guestbook lying on Krista's kitchen table. She feels proud of her instincts. "Yeah," she muses. "I'll help." Her voice takes on a tone of vengeance. "But I want a cut."

"I'll give you five thousand, but don't mention it to anyone else. Except Krista. And only if she has to know."

Evil glee blooms in Ymir's heart. Her wicked smile appears. "Deal," she says emphatically. A crackle of static erupts through the phone. Ymir always did love to hunt.

Levi contracts with relief. I'm going to find Kenny, he thinks, and then, I'm going to kill him.

**

Levi's body is stiff and his breath is shallow as he lays in bed next to Erwin. Erwin senses the tension.

Erwin reaches over to stroke his hair. "You remember what I said, right?"

Levi sighs deeply.

"We're going to figure this out," Erwin says. He reaches over and pulls Levi onto his chest. Levi rests his head on Erwin's collarbone, but doesn't relax. Erwin mostly believes what he says. He still has no idea what the task involves. He runs his hands slowly down Levi's back, waiting for the stress to flow out of Levi's body. Erwin wonders what he's willing to do, what his limits are; who he might have to hurt on Levi's behalf, and in what way. Uri made vague allusions to making sacrifices for the ones we love.

Erwin reached the bitter conclusion that there was nothing he could do for Marie, in the end, but to let her go. The thought of being able to really do something for someone he cares about makes him feel somehow more real. But do what, exactly?

Images of Kenny flicker in Levi's mind. He deserves to go through hell, Levi thinks. But fear grips him. Please don't break, he thinks. Please don't tell them anything.

Erwin wraps his arms around Levi and squeezes him tighter. Levi's body softens slightly from the pressure. Erwin feels words swelling in his throat. Should I say it? He wonders. He decides to wait. He kisses the top of Levi's head.

Levi lets his body sink into Erwin. His eyelashes graze Erwin's skin. I could run, he thinks. He has money from Carla and Kenny. He pictures places he could stash his clothes, his suite of hiding spots from before he found Erwin. He sighs again and Erwin's hands drift to the back of his neck and the small of his back. Levi clings to the bright cord connecting him to Erwin as if for dear life, trying to ward off the panic. Erwin, if I fuck up your life, I will never forgive myself, Levi thinks.


	41. Last light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin takes Levi to school to avoid the mysterious van on his street. Levi meets the man responsible for getting Kuchel out of the auction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update on the shorter side for now...so much to write, so little time! Thanks again for reading and to everyone who's left me feedback so far...y'all are the best!

Erwin glances at the clock. Five minutes until the alarm sounds. I've become so well-trained, he thinks. He shuts it off preemptively to avoid waking Levi, a motionless silhouette. Erwin wants to touch him, but after such a restless night, he can't bring himself to wake him. He studies Levi's face in the semi-darkness and sighs. What am I going to do with you?

Neither the blender, the coffee maker, nor the shower wakes Levi, just the surge of energy through his spine, contorting his bones. When the little cat opens his eyes, the bed is empty and the clock announces it's almost time for Erwin to leave. Levi is perturbed. Why didn't he wake me up?

Levi finds Erwin in the living room. He stands at the window and looks uneasily down the street. At the end of the cul-de-sac stands a unmarked van with a strange antenna. The cat jumps into his arms and rubs his face all over him, purring.

"Levi," Erwin says softly, "am I making things up...or is that van not supposed to be there?"

The cat turns his head immediately toward the window. Fuck, Levi thinks; auditors. He supposes it could be the cable guy. But it looks too much like the vehicles the handful of lab shifters he encountered described disappearing into. He lets out a foul hiss and buries his head in Erwin's armpit. Erwin picks up his phone, cradling the cat in his other arm. He feels a faint blossom of relief when the other side picks up.

"Grisha. Sorry to bother you so early," he says, trying to sound calm. "But I figured I ought to call you. My knee's been acting up."

**

"Ok, what've we got," the driver says, leaning over to look at the infrared readout on the other auditor's tablet.

"Two humans, two canines," the woman says. "Nothing abnormal. Yet."

The little screen shows a room in Erwin's neighbors' house, the residents just back from a long trip. Two red figures unpack two suitcases, while two restless, excited red dogs clamor for their attention. Behind them all, unnoticed, Erwin's car pulls out of the neighborhood, leaving only the glowing pipes in the house and a warm spot on the driveway.

Levi lies curled up in the passenger seat on top of a folded-up blanket. His clothes lie in a backpack with Erwin's laptop and Josephine's book. The cat doesn't open his eyes. No meows of protest when Erwin nearly misses his exit, or forgets until the last second to change lanes. The lack of criticism worries Erwin. When he reaches a stoplight, he reaches down to give the cat a few long, gentle strokes, eliciting a faint, murmuring purr.

Erwin pulls into the school parking lot, mostly empty but for a few faculty cars. Levi yawns, and Erwin grins at the slight of his bright, pointy teeth and bright pink tongue. The cat grumbles and jumps into the open backpack. Erwin zips it up carefully, leaving a little gap for air. When Levi thought he wanted to go to school, this was not what he had in mind.

Dot Pixis sits at his desk, reading emails. He smiles warmly when Erwin cracks open the door.

"Erwin," Dot gets up from his desk and gives the backpack-laden man a hug. "So. Grisha says you want to join the book club."

Erwin looks confused. "Excuse me?"

Dot chuckles. "It's one of our little code words. Kind of like your 'knee acting up,'" he says with a knowing smile.

"Oh. Right."

"Well then! Let's see him."

Erwin sets the bag on the enormous mahogany desk and unzips it. Levi steps out tentatively, blinking up at the jovial, wrinkled man.

"I've always liked these Tuxedo cats," he says to Erwin, beaming. "'Course, I'm biased; my daughter Renée's a Tuxedo cat herself." Erwin knew the Pixis children were adopted. But he didn't know at least one was a shifter. "Well I must say," Dot says, stroking Levi's head. "You'd be hard pressed to find a better sponsor. You may not have nine lives, but you sure have six senses, don't you?" He laughs delightedly.

Levi climbs into Dot's arms and rests his head on his shoulder.

"When'd you find him?" Dot asks.

"A few weeks ago," Erwin says. "He just...showed up on the porch."

Dot nods. "I see. And what's his name?"

"Levi."

The cat meows affirmatively. Dot pauses.

"Interesting," he says, his voice a little distant. He scans the walls of the office, searching his memory. "Ackerman," he says softly, after a moment.

Erwin looks perplexed. Dot looks down at the little cat with moist eyes. "You were Josie Ackerman's kid, weren't you." The cat goes limp in Dot's arms. "We thought you didn't make it," he says with remorse. He turns to Erwin again. "I take it Levi told you where he comes from?"

"He did," Erwin says.

Dot glances at the floor and nods to himself. "There was a raid," he says. Erwin senses a story coming on. "Well, there were a whole bunch of raids, but a big one, in '86. Almost all little black cats, just like this one." He runs his hand down Levi's fur and sighs heavily. "I didn't know Josephine all too well. We fell out of touch, after a while." He looks gravely at Erwin. "Things were... quiet with the auction, and Camille and I were busy founding our school," he says with a sorrowful smile. In the adjacent office, Dot's wife, Camille, sits behind an even larger desk, with a plaque bearing her title: headmaster. Dot looks at Levi with a pained expression. "By the time I heard poor Josie passed, it was too late. We came to look for you, you know." A tear crawls down Dot's cheek.

Levi wants to melt, wants to disintegrate into the carpet and cease to exist. The cat can't cry. The human will have no choice when he emerges again. Levi thinks of the years he spent with Kenny, in trailer parks, truck stops, beneath underpasses, hiding in abandoned buildings, his occasional blissful days alone in library branches. They had come to look for him. He could have been here all along, in this very school. Stabilizing.

Levi's body stiffens. Dot sets him back on the desk.

"We found your poor mother," he says in a reverent whisper. He shakes his head. "Her eyes were still glowing, just as green as they could be. We figured you had to be nearby, but we couldn't find you."

The cat sinks his head into his paws, shutting his eyes tightly. Kuchel had only been dead for a day or two when Dot saw her, he realizes. It must have been Dot who left the ceramic figurines at the gravesite, he thinks.

Dot notes Erwin's expression of confusion. "He told you what happened to Kuchel?"

"He told me she died from...trying to fight the shift," Erwin says, his voice cracking slightly.

"It's a horrible thing when it happens," Dot says. He sits back down behind his desk, and Erwin takes the seat in front of it. Levi jumps onto Erwin's lap and curls himself into the tightest ball he can manage, soaking in the heat from Erwin's hand.

"It's the eyes that give it away," Dot says twisting a few hairs of his white mustache. "You see, if something else had happened to Kuchel, well, we'd have had to have her autopsied, and of course, we couldn't do that." He reaches for his mug of now-lukewarm coffee. "I've been doing this for a long time, Erwin," Dot days sternly. "I've seen a lot of people meet a lot of gruesome ends. But nothing stays with you more than the eyes. If somebody dies fighting the shift," Dot sighs, "they get what some people call the 'last light.' And basically, well...their eyes just...glow, whatever color they'd normally be. Now there's all kinds of theories about what happens when you die, of course; the soul leaving the body and all that. And this...this is kind of like the last-ditch effort to stay alive." Dot suppresses a shudder. "You've felt the current?" He makes a little up-and-down gesture by his neck.

"Oh yes," Erwin says. He's at loss to describe the visuals and sensations the strange electricity of Levi's body produces. A faint light surrounds the cat in his lap.

Dot squints. "Imagine the last of the current," he says gravely. "Like a little light that refuses to go out. Now the body is dead, but the eyes..." he shakes his head. "I hope you never have to see it."

Erwin sighs, catching sight of the grandfather clock in the corner. "I'd better get going," he says. He begrudgingly hands Levi back to Dot. "I'll see you this afternoon."

**

Armin and Eren are early to class. Armin notices two things: the little strands of cat hair all over Erwin's shirt, and the dark circles under Erwin's eyes.

"Hey," Eren says. "Is everything ok? Dad said you have auditors."

"Is that what they're called?" Erwin takes a desperate sip of his coffee.

"Yeah, is it a weird van?" Eren asks.

"No markings on it. Some weird antenna."

"That's them," Armin says.

Erwin runs a hand through his hair. "Are these lab guys, or from the auction?"

The boys look at each other. 

"Supposed to be from the lab," Armin says with a grimace. "But I think they pretty much just work for the highest bidder."

"We see them a few times a year in our neighborhood," Eren says. "So we always try to move Mikasa."

Erwin nods, faintly relieved that he didn't panic at the sight of a simple repair truck. "So it's a routine thing."

"Yeah," Eren says. "That's why my dad was so serious about you telling him if you saw anything. It helps us figure out what their schedule is like. My dad learned about it in school." He glances out the door, then turns back to Erwin. "When they were teaching some of the med students about the shifters, they had the option to leave the program as long as they signed a ton of these non-disclosure contracts and stuff," Eren says discreetly. "So my dad decided to stay up until the very end so he could find out as much as he could." Eren's voice has a touch of pride. "He used his residency as an excuse to get out of it."

Erwin smiles. "Your dad's a smart man." And brave, Erwin thinks.

"They don't usually stick around more than 24 hours while they canvas houses," Armin says. "But you should find somewhere for Levi to stay tonight."

"I figured," Erwin says. "Hange invited me some thing at our friend's gallery—"

"Wait, are you going to Jean's show?" Armin asks.

"Yeah, I was going to take Levi, although, well, I hadn't exactly planned on bringing him here first." Erwin looks at the open door. No other students have come in yet. "I figured I'd see if he can go home with Hange and Moblit."

"It's a good idea," Eren says. "Is he ok?"

"Well, I don't know, really," Erwin says. "It's harder to tell when they're cats, isn't it?" Erwin debates telling the boys about Kenny. Eren notices Erwin's eyes look a little red. "We've had a rough couple of days," Erwin admits. He pauses. "We think his uncle got captured."

"What?" Eren looks alarmed. "Does he—"

"He knows where we live," Erwin says.

"Wait, where's Levi now?" Eren turns toward the window to Erwin's office.

"He's in Pixis' office. Turns out this isn't the first time they've met, either." Erwin's voice is strained. 

"Wait, seriously?" Armin's eyes widen.

Erwin spots a figure in the doorframe: Mikasa. He tells them as much as he can before the desks fill up and the bell rings.

**

Dot's computer dings. Another email. "Everybody wants something, don't they," he mutters. The cat lies in his lap. Dot reaches in the top drawer of his desk and pulls out a little leather-covered flask. He tips a small amount of gold liquid into a mug of fresh, steaming coffee. "You didn't see that," he says to Levi.

The cat flurfles, unable to laugh. At least there will be wine at this stupid thing tonight, he thinks, if I'm human again by then.

The office is cool and dim, lined in dark wood panels and floor-to-ceiling shelves packed with books. An antique globe stands in the corner, next to the softly ticking grandfather clock. Levi gradually falls asleep to the clatter of Dot's typing, desperate for the darkness of sleep to blot out the image of his mother, his last glimpse of her face as Kenny dragged him forcefully away.

Erwin peers in through the window of the office door between classes and waves. Pixis gives him a thumbs-up.

**

Jean's charcoal smoke horses look into the teachers' lounge from the bulletin board on the wall. A math teacher in thick glasses waves on his way out. Levi sips tea from a styrofoam cup, the sleeves of his button-down shirt rolled up. Nanaba speaks German with a heavy French accent, but it makes Levi smile. He hasn't had a proper conversation in German in a long time. He supposes Nanaba's linguistic generosity is two-fold. Erwin must have told her his story, otherwise she wouldn't have spoken so delicately. But the conversation also supports the story that he's interviewing for a teaching position.

„I hope we'll see you tonight,“ she says. „I wouldn't worry too much about the van, either. We've kept Reiner away from them for years. But it's a good thing you're here.“ She gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek as the bell rings.

„I'm sure you're right,“ Levi says, still numb from the morning's exchanges. „Good to see you again, as always.“

In the silence that follows, Levi looks out the window and feels into the space. Currents everywhere, just like the Blue Magnolia, but so much calmer. Light from the reception desk across the hall. In the library next door. Two groundskeepers trimming a hedge outside crackle and glow. Levi rests his forehead against the cool glass, and the currents vanish from his awareness. I could have been a librarian, he thinks, too lost in his thoughts to notice a familiar glow growing closer down the hall.

Erwin walks in craving coffee. He doesn't expect to see Levi's silhouette against the bright window. "Levi?"

Levi turns around.

"Are you ok?" Erwin asks.

Levi gazes at Erwin for a moment. "No," he says plainly.


	42. Step into my office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pixis reveals more about how he rescued Kuchel. Erwin and Levi take advantage of some time alone after school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little alarmed at what a sprawling mass of text this fic has become. I never intended to write this much, but, here we are! As always, thanks for reading!

Levi's gaze pierces Erwin. He always thought Levi's eyes had their own luminosity. But the thought of them actually glowing makes Erwin shiver.

Levi blinks slowly and takes a long sip of tea, his fingers curled precariously over the edge of the cup. "This place is a zoo," he says, looking around. "Currents everywhere." He sits on the far end of one of the small couches. "No," he corrects himself with a little frigid laugh. "Not a zoo. A jungle. No cages."

Erwin pours himself a cup of coffee and sits down gingerly next to Levi.

Levi runs his hand through his hair, looking glazed at the wall. "I can't be too upset with Pixis, can I," he says in a weak whisper. "If it weren't for him, I'd have been born in a cage." Levi shuts his eyes and leans back into the couch.

"When did you shift?" Erwin asks, lightly brushing the back of Levi's neck, mindful of the open door.

"About half an hour ago. Nanaba brought me here." A little smile creeps onto Levi's face. "You better thank whatever wise soul bought y'all some decent tea," he says with a nod toward the cabinet. Few things could dull the edge of Levi's shock, but whole leaves and satin sachets did a respectable job.

Mike's enormous figure fills the doorframe, followed by another booming laugh. "Well hell, Erwin. Nobody said it was 'bring your cat to work day.'"

Levi glances coolly at Mike. The laughter dries up quickly. Erwin sits transfixed for a moment at the power of Levi's withering stare.

"They've got auditors, Mike," Dot says casually, stepping in behind his massive employee.

"Aw, shit," Mike says.

"So you may very well get to bring your dog in, if you spot them in your neck of the woods." Pixis refills his coffee mug. Levi swears he can smell whiskey. "And you must be Levi," he says with a touch of defeat that Mike doesn't perceive. "Don't get up." He shakes Levi's hand and sits across from him. "I must admit," he says thoughtfully, "it's always fascinating to see someone in both of their forms." He pauses for a moment, deliberating. "You really do look just like your mother."

Levi glances at the floor, then back at Dot.

Mike freezes, coffee pot in hand. "Now wait a minute..."

Pixis nods slowly.

"So you're an eighty-sixer," Mike says to Levi with a twinge of awe. "Or your mother was."

"I'm a what?"

"More of our shorthand," Dot says with an ingratiating smile.

"All right, I'll leave y'all to it." Mike seals the lid of his thermos. He points to Erwin on his way out. "Y'all going to this thing at Petra's tonight?"

Erwin looks at Levi. Levi shrugs. "Yeah," Erwin says.

Mike nods. "I'll see y'all later, then."

Levi fixes his eyes on Pixis. "How did you do it," he whispers urgently, nearly hissing. "How did you get into the auction?" Levi leans forward, glancing at the door, then back at Dot. "The entire time I was in it, it was seamless. They barely ever brought in anyone new, unless it was some big shot from another city."

Pixis looks sorrowful. "And how did you get out of it? Did they take you immediately?"

The response catches Levi off guard. "No," he says. "My uncle found me. We did...other things." His casual tone gives Erwin a jolt of despair.

"I see," Pixis says knowingly.

"We escaped them for a few years," Levi says. His voice drifts. Then Levi cracks an evil grin. "Did you know Nikolai Lovoff?"

Dot raises an eyebrow, retracts, then bursts into a hearty laugh. "So. That was you." He takes a swig of coffee. "I'll never understand what it is with cats and fire."

"My finest hour," Levi says with smug satisfaction.

"A fitting end for Lovoff, I'm afraid," Dot waxes. "He was what we used to call 'untouchable.' He had so much money and so many connections, you could never have gone after him directly."

Levi feels a swell of pride.

"Did you work alone?" Pixis asks.

The color drains from Levi's face. "No. It was me and my uncle. We came as a set," he says snidely. "And now I think he's back in it." His voice weakens.

"I'm dreadfully sorry to hear that," Dot says.

"The only dreadful thing about it is that he knows about Erwin and where he lives."

"Then I'm afraid you don't have much time," Pixis says. "Do you have a scout?"

Levi nods. "She's a savant." He sighs. "But she's not in the safest place, either. And neither is her sponsor."

Pixis looks grave.

"Do you remember Krista Lenz?" Erwin asks cautiously.

"Certainly," Dot says. "Why?"

A group of three more teachers wanders in. Dot looks at the clock. "Well, Herr Ackerman, I suppose we ought to begin our interview." He waves at his other staff on the way out of the little lounge and guides Levi and Erwin into his office.

**

Two years. It had taken them nearly two years from Dot's initiation to set up the bust. Levi has a week to find Kenny at most, he calculates; at least until the next auction party. That is, if he doesn't crack. What if the auditors aren't routine, Erwin wonders, and Kenny has already given them up: not to the auction, but to the lab? Who will be waiting for him when he goes home?

Through the office wall, Levi picks up a current. Another cat. Kate, a petite woman with gray hair in a tight knot, diligently screens calls at the receptionist desk. She belonged to Pixis' uncle; his strange, frightened, live-in caregiver who Dot always found disturbingly quiet. Young Dorothy, pressured into visiting more frequently as her uncle's health deteriorated, noticed that his terrified housekeeper and his skittish Russian Blue cat never occupied the same room at the same time.

"She took the biggest risk of her life, coming to me, telling me what she was," Dot says. "She took me for a human with a conscience, and she guessed right." He grins faintly. "So we made a point of proving to my uncle up until he died that I wasn't one. Harassing poor Kate became somewhat of a sport between us. To the point where he eventually left her to me, rather than selling her back." He pulls lightly at his mustache. "I figured I was already acting every day, still living as Dorothy. Why not go whole hog? Put my skills to the test," he says dryly. "The payoff was certainly worth it."

"So that was your in," Levi says. "It's always a family member, isn't it?"

"Or some accomplice, some sort of apprentice you've been grooming. They're quite loose with family terms. Everyone's a cousin of some sort, aren't they."

"One big family of sociopaths," Levi sneers.

"So Ymir was right to pick Krista, then," Erwin says. "Did you know she was a foster kid?"

"Of course," Dot says. "But it never bore mentioning, so I never mentioned it. Never would have guessed she was Reiss, though." He gazes thoughtfully at the bookshelf. "She's a smart kid," he says. "But people underestimate her. And that may turn out to be her biggest strength. Has she debuted?"

"No," Levi says. "It's too soon. They'll want her to at some point. If she doesn't, it'll raise suspicion."

"For all they know, she's not Reiss's daughter at all." Dot nods to himself. "She's someone he brought in, another apprentice type."

"They're trying to build confusion," Levi says, "about whether Reiss died of his own stupidity, or whether Krista set him up."

"Good," Dot says. "Let them wonder. The less they know the better, although, I'm afraid, the more fascinating she'll be."

Erwin feels a surge of dread on Krista's behalf. Then he wonders whether he's as guilty of underestimating her as everyone else. "So, once you were in...then what did you do?"

**

"A little to the left," Krista says. Franz and Thomas shift the enormous canvas over a few inches across the wall, above a long row of small tables for two. "Yeah, that's better." She squints. "Ugh, no, it's not level. Hang on." She rifles through a supply closet, looking for the long-neglected toolbox containing the little plastic level. The two men stand awkwardly on the bench along the wall, balancing the enormous painting. Horses and dogs, birds and foxes writhe and cavort in a mess of stylized greenery, one of Jean's surreal fairy tales.

Jean glances over from the bar, pleased to see his work in an environment like this. He always likes his paintings better when he hasn't looked at them in weeks or months. They feel more fresh and alive.

Marco sits on a tall stool next to him and sighs, tuning his guitar. "I hope I stay in this cycle," he says. He intends to play his guitar at the gallery opening, along with Gunther and Erd. His plan, if he begins to shift, is to claim he got a phone call from Flegel asking him to fill in, and hide in Krista's car with the window rolled down.

"You'll be ok," Jean says. "You're starting to even out more, right?" He smiles faintly, unwilling to admit his balancing effect on Marco.

In the kitchen, Mina pipes filling into her hundredth macaron of the afternoon. The prospect of having a real apartment soon offsets the tedium. Hannah loads up boxes emblazoned with the Blue Magnolia logo in preparation for the opening. She reaches over and pops a macaron into her mouth. Mina gives her a look, then glances at the plate, then takes one herself. Hannah nods and grins.

"You should tell them soon," Marco says, thinking of Petra and Oulo, still uninitiated. "Especially if you're going to be working with them this much."

"Yeah," Jean says. "You're probably right. I just gotta' figure out when." He sees the others distracted by the off-kilter painting, leans over, and kisses Marco.

**

A bluish-gray cat noses open the door to Pixis' office.

"Speak of the devil," Dot says. "Kate, is Sandrine covering for you?"

The cat mews affirmatively.

"Did you meet Levi?" Dot asks her.

The cat shakes her head 'no.' But I did notice something unusually bright in here, she thinks, picking up on his scintillating current, mirrored by Erwin. Levi kneels onto the carpet in front of her and holds out his hand. Her current is pristine, he thinks; quiet and sharp. He feels a pang of envy. She senses it. She presses her head into his palm and gives a purr of encouragement. When he sits back down in his chair, the cat jumps into his lap.

Erwin laughs and shakes his head. Should it have been obvious all this time that the receptionist was a cat? He flicks through his mental list of co-workers. Who are the others, he wonders.

"It's always the ones with the worst intentions who want to do the least amount of dirty work," Pixis says. "Don't you think?" he turns to Levi. "Take someone like Lovoff, for instance. Collected shifters for years, like cars, or horses, but never dealt in anything else because he never had to. I'm sure you've gathered," he says to Erwin, "that of all the souls who get trafficked, the shifters fetch the highest price. If the migrant laborers and prostitutes are pit bulls and greyhounds, then the shifters are the prized thoroughbreds."

"It's all so mystical and glamorous, they just can't resist," Levi says bitterly. He runs his hand through Kate's fur.

"And dangerous," Dot adds. "Which is part of the appeal. The penalties for not cooperating with the labs are astronomical, as you can imagine," he explains to Erwin. "Now, typically, if you deal in one form of trafficking, you deal in others. But not always—"

"Tch. Not those rich motherfuckers who think it's beneath them." Levi's expression is cold. He thinks of Lovoff's bruised and bloodied face.

"But they have to get their supply from somewhere," Dot continues. "Of course, now, it's much more decentralized than it used to be. It's harder to track." He smiles. "You can't keep a large group of shifters in the same place for more than a night or two, say, at a party. It's too obvious. To a shifter, anyway," he nods in Kate's direction.

"She was your scout?" Levi asks.

"She'll claim she's not that good, but she's just like that, way too modest," Dot says. "We started following people around, figuring out where they were keeping their victims. Mostly by the docks. Lots of shipping containers, and the like."

Levi thinks of the abandoned warehouses near the water he squatted in with Kenny, and shudders. Erwin gives him a concerned look.

"And then, the more we did that, the more we realized it wasn't just groups of shifters we were sensing, but groups of highly distressed humans."

"It was just the two of you?" Erwin looks at Dot and at the gray cat, serenely licking her paw.

"No, no, by this point I had bought Allen and Will," Dot says.

"The groundskeepers?" Erwin asks.

"You bought them?" Levi says incredulously. He looks at Erwin. "Lovoff paid a hundred grand each for Kenny and me, and we were the cheapest ones on offer."

Dot shrugs. "Keep in mind, I'd just received a substantial inheritance."

"Oh my god," Levi rubs his temples. He'd never heard of anyone buying a shifter from the auction and not selling them elsewhere later.

"And then," Dot says with warm nostalgia, "I met Camille." He grins widely. "I was walking with Kate one night, and we noticed a lovely young woman with a most unusual dog."

"You brought her in?" Levi asks.

"Yes, but not as an apprentice." He says. "I still needed to prove myself, bring in some new...inventory, so they call it. So Camille pretended to be a dog herself."

**

Erwin waits for the hallway to clear after the bell rings, dazed from the day's revelations. Each staff member he passes is imbued with new mystery. He silently assigns each of them possible animals. What if the stout, jovial chemistry teacher is a French Bulldog, the basketball coach a Great Dane? Who else had gone undercover, pretending?

"We don't have to go to this thing tonight," he says to Levi.

"Is there going to be wine?"

"Probably a lot, and I'm sure it will be very nice."

"Then we're going," Levi says flatly. "Besides. I need to think about something else."

Erwin opens the door to his office.

Levi freezes. "Jesus Christ, Erwin. How do you get any work done in here?" Stacks of papers teeter precariously on the desk. Masses of folders lie strewn about, corners of papers stick out between the pages of piles of books. Levi feels as though he might have a heart attack.

"I have my own kind of system—"

Levi stretches out his hand in protest.

"Levi, you don't have to work in here if you—"

"No, no," Levi says. "You go run. I'll be fine." He cracks his knuckles. I have work to do, he thinks, and it isn't translation.

**  
"Mr. Smith!" Armin shouts excitedly. "Are we really getting a German department?"

"What? No, of course not," Erwin says. "Did Madame Zach tell you that?"

Armin's face falls.

Connie claps him on the shoulder. "Sorry, man," he says. "You only get to be better than everyone else in French, Spanish, and English." He picks up his pace and catches up with Sasha and the cluster of runners surrounding Hange.

Erwin tries to focus on his runners, but visions of white vans pass through his head. Clandestine military courts. Levi being taken. Don't think about it, he tells himself. It's Eren's voice that snaps him out of the trance.

"Did you talk to Principal Dot?"

Erwin nods.

"Crazy stuff," Eren says.

"To put it lightly." Erwin surveys the pack of runners ahead of him. The path leads them through a mercifully shady glade.

"Do you have a plan?" Eren asks.

Erwin tries to conceal his irritation. "I'm gonna' have to have a long conversation with Ymir and Krista first."

"Is there going to be another bust?" Armin asks, fighting to catch up.

"What? No—we don't have time," Erwin says. "Unless we get Ken out...Armin, I can't even think that far ahead."

Armin realizes he's never seen his coach in this state of turmoil, no matter how stoically he covers it up. Armin and Eren exchange worried glances. Erwin reaches up to wipe the sweat off his forehead, lifting his shirt up just enough to reveal a series of deep red marks on his side.

**

Erwin knocks quietly on the door to his office, his hair damp from the shower. "Levi?" He opens the door. Levi sits staring intently at the laptop screen. "Levi, what did you do?"

The piles of papers are gone. The books stand in neat rows on the shelf. The desk looks nearly empty.

"Levi, where are my papers?!"

"They're in your filing cabinets, where they should be," he says, barely glancing up from the screen.

Erwin stands still in the doorframe.

Levi swivels around to face him and crosses his arms. "Think of a document. I promise you, you will be able to find it."

Erwin walks to a tall cabinet. A freshly minted label reading 'lesson plans' adorns the top drawer. The next reads 'student work.' Another, 'administrative documents.' Erwin pulls the top drawer open. Neatly arranged folders, labeled by week, peek up at him.

"Levi. You didn't have to do this."

"No, trust me," Levi says, "If I didn't, I'd have had an aneurism."

Erwin groans.

"Erwin, I'm kidding. For christ's sake, get over it." He walks over and wraps his arms around Erwin's waist. "Besides. All I do is bring chaos into your life, I figured I ought to at least set some of it in order."

Erwin turns around and kisses the top of Levi's head. "Levi, that's not true."

Levi looks up at him and squints. "No...it kind of is."

Erwin chuckles dryly. Levi rises up on his toes and kisses him. "We're in deep shit, aren't we," Erwin says softly.

Levi shrugs. "Maybe." He rests his head against Erwin's chest. Neither wants to unveil their creeping, growing dread, lest they send the other over the edge. He glances around the office and grins wryly. "I can guarantee you, every single one of your students that's interested in men has fantasized about fucking you in here."

"Levi," Erwin whispers. "Don't go there."

Levi cocks his head. "If I had an office this nice, I know what I'd use it for."

"Levi..." Erwin puts his face in his hand.

"Oh come on," Levi goads him. "You've never thought about it?"

Erwin crosses his arms. "Given that my students are children? No, I avoid thinking about it completely."

Levi smirks. "You're so noble. It makes you hotter."

Erwin rolls his eyes. "You're impossible. So that's why you want to be my student? So I can fuck you in my office?"

"No," Levi says with mock offense. "So I can stare at you all day." He grins. "And then fuck you in your office." He looks around. "Too bad there's no uniform you can take off of me."

"God, Levi..." Erwin shakes his head and locks the door. Levi shuts the blinds and starts to undo Erwin's belt. "You're just trying to distract me, aren't you?"

Levi kneels down and liberates Erwin's stiffening cock. He looks up at Erwin. "Shut up and let me do my job." He licks Erwin from base to tip. Erwin shudders and leans against the wall. "While I'm still fully human, anyway."

Erwin grabs a handful of Levi's hair and gasps as he feels the back of Levi's throat. But no fangs, no furry ears, no claws appear. The hands gripping Erwin's thighs are still human. Erwin lightly grips Levi's chin and pulls out of his mouth. "Come here," he says, pulling Levi's shirt over his head.

Levi pulls off the rest of his clothes. There's something exhilarating about being naked in unusual places. He plants his hands on the edge of Erwin's desk. Erwin kneels behind him and begins to lick and finger him slowly. I should be more cautious, Erwin thinks; but the cat seems to barely eat anything as a human, and Erwin has the fortune of not having to share an office.

He expects to hear claws sink into the polished wood; he expects a black tail to swish in his face. But nothing comes from Levi except the same strange glow and little anguished pants as he clenches around Erwin's fingers, his skin slick with saliva. The sound of a vacuum cleaner roars in the otherwise deserted hallway. Erwin takes a deep breath, loathe to admit Levi was right about the office.

"Fuck me against the wall," Levi says.

"You're too heavy."

"Oh, come on," Levi hisses.

"Levi," Erwin says, planting a little kiss on the back of his neck, "I've just been running for an hour. I'm going to drop you, and you're going break your tailbone."

"Fine," he mutters.

Erwin could probably do it. But the prospect of his legs giving out is not something he wants to consider, not with the existing stress of the day. Erwin steps out of his clothes and lays them over the back of his chair. Levi grips his wrist and pulls him onto the floor. "So this is why you cleaned my office," Erwin says with a grin.

"Tch. Come here." Levi lies on his back and pulls Erwin onto him.

"You're so bossy," Erwin says.

"You like it."

"I never said I didn't." Erwin plunges his tongue into Levi's mouth and his cock into Levi's wet, quivering ass. Levi grips Erwin's sides, the closed-up gashes still tender from before. But no new marks. Levi pulls Erwin deeper into him. Erwin is too distracted by the intense tightness around his cock to register the desperation in Levi's movements and breath. The air from the ceiling vents is cold on his back; Levi's body seems to burn beneath him.

Levi goes rigid. A pearly line of semen fills the crevice formed by the taut plane of his abs. Erwin pulls himself slowly out of Levi, gives his cock a couple of hard pumps, and comes on Levi's chest, the fluid pooling in the pit of his neck.

Erwin sinks back onto his heels. His spine prickles; crackling sensations stream through his body. Levi lies flushed and exhausted in front of him, as if on a little tapestry of light. Erwin grabs tissues from the desk and delicately wipes off Levi's chest, as though he were polishing a sculpture.

"Look at you," Erwin says.

"Hm?" Levi groans sleepily and rolls onto his side.

Erwin lies down behind him and wraps an arm around him. "No claws this time."


	43. Casting call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin finds himself thrust into a role he'd rather not play when an unexpected guest turns up at Jean's gallery show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has mentions of blood, injuries, and violence, and references to non-consensual situations.

Levi stretches out on the floor of Erwin's office and sighs. "This is my life," he says to the ceiling. "Naked in offices. Naked on beaches. Naked in ballrooms. Naked in warehouses..."

Erwin laughs morbidly and pulls Levi back to him. He kisses the back of Levi's neck.

"I know I'm having a good day when I decide when to be naked," Levi says.

Erwin holds his tongue, walking the fine line between compassion and pity. The door unlocks and Levi flinches. It catches on the chain latch, opening just a few inches.

"Oh! Excuse me," the custodian says, shutting the door rapidly again. Erwin's gut clenches with embarrassment. The sound of the vacuum cleaner starts again and Levi notices it's a human presence moving farther from them down the hall, someone who couldn't have known the little room was occupied.

"I need a glass of wine," Erwin says.

"You and me both," Levi says into Erwin's chest. But Erwin doesn't get up right away. When Levi begins to draw back, Erwin's arms are still tight around him. Levi relaxes again and tries to ignore the specter of worry hanging over the room. Erwin kisses his cheekbone and takes a deep breath.

**

Kenny knows he's not alone in the dark basement. The currents he feels through the walls are unlike anything he's ever encountered. They feel ancient. Two on the upper floor are contorted and dark.

An unfamiliar human stands with Zackley and the bull upstairs.

Janice runs her long, knobbly, manicured finger up the bull's chin. He stands hornless and hoofless in nondescript black clothing. "What a sweet creature you are," she says. She rubs the man's shaved head and his eyes flutter shut. She kneels onto the floor. A pitbull in a spiked collar, his face covered in nicks and scars, sits at the bull's side. Janice scratches the dog's ears. "You're so good for Darius, aren't you?" she croons.

The dog whines. Zackley smiles. On the mantlepiece behind him are framed photographs of a woman with dark red hair. In one, she sits on a porch swing with the pitbull. In another, she stands in a lush, flowering field, leaning her cheek to a bull's face. Between the frames stands the brass urn filled with her ashes.

"Now I have some dogs living with me who are not good boys," Janice says in a syrupy voice as if talking to children. "And I need you to help me make them behave. Can you believe they won't tell me anything?" She leads the two shifters to a black van waiting in the driveway. They climb into the back. "You're a sweetheart for lending them to me, Darius."

"It makes them proud." Zackley hands her a bag with the pitbull's clothes and a box of syringes.

"You ever find out about Nikolai's other cat?"

"This one claims he's dead," Zackley says, gesturing to the basement.

"They all say that. Don't believe it for a minute," she snorts. "Are you bringing him Thursday?"

Zackley laughs. "Oh, no. Just the angels. Tell the bulls whichever one of them behaves the best gets to come to the next one." The two shifter men had belonged to his late wife, who had mainly kept them at home. In his efforts to maintain their deference and cooperation with his experiments, Zackley began to offer them gradually more enticing rewards, and gradually introducing them to the other members of the auction. "The cat isn't loyal yet. Or pretty enough. He might never be either." Zackley isn't yet satisfied with the partially transformed state he's induced in Kenny. Nothing he's ready to show off.

Janice's laugh is sharp and cruel. "So he's like the others, then. Born that way."

"It's what he says."

Janice gives a disappointed nod and hugs Zackley goodbye. The van disappears down the long, winding driveway.

With the other two shifter men gone, the remaining currents in the basement sharpen and expand. Kenny listens in. His mind fills with images. Trees. Snow. Animals.

"Who are you?" he says to the dark.

**

"Well, Jean, I don't know if we'll have ten people at this thing, or if we'll have a hundred," Petra said as they finished hanging the last piece of artwork.

"If I sell one painting, I'll be happy," Jean told her, still glowing from the sale of his fresco to Krista. Now he stands in the corner with a bubble of nervousness welling in his chest as people continue to flow in. Gunter and Erd finish a song on their guitar and mandolin, and a splatter of applause breaks out.

Marco kisses Jean's neck and gives his hand a squeeze. "Don't be a wallflower, go introduce yourself," he says, grinning. "They're all here to see you." He pulls his guitar from its stand and replaces the other musicians. Marco plucks out a lively Django Reinhardt song, earning him impressed nods from the growing crowd.

Eclectic couches and armchairs, also for sale, stand in front of the paintings, flanked by whimsical side tables. Hange plants herself on a cushy velvet number with clawed feet and sets her wine glass on what appears to be a giant porcelain owl.

Armin turns to Eren in the parking lot. "You think we're underdressed for this?" The boys wear polo shirts and khaki shorts, Armin in his usual pale blue, Eren in mint green.

Eren scowls. "Armin. Come on. You've seen what Jean wears. He looks like he raided the trash outside of a Goodwill. We're fine," he says, just harshly enough to confirm Armin's suspicion that Eren is, in fact, jealous of Jean. Armin grabs his hand.

Coins plink and bills flutter into Marco's tip jar. Glasses of wine vanish as fast as Mina can pour them. The volume in the space rises, echoing off the plaster walls and concrete floor. Oulo sticks a "SOLD" tag over the price on the little placard next to one of Jean's paintings. A fellow inked, pierced, painter from the studio co-op waves excitedly to Jean above the other guests' heads. Erwin debates whether to tell Levi that his teeth are turning grey from his third glass of Merlot. Armin bites into a macaron.

Eren crosses his arms. "Ugh. His stuff is so good," he says with a grimace, glancing around at the work. He follows Armin to the corner of the gallery where Erwin and Levi stand.

"So you can shift tattoo ink," Erwin says, noticing the elaborate scrolls of Jean's arms.

"It's deep enough under the skin, yeah," Ymir says, sipping her Chardonnay, her arm draped around Krista's shoulders. She looks in Jean's direction. "The piercings are harder to manage. They don't really heal right unless you can stay human for a long time."

"Yeah, Mikasa wants to get her ears pierced now that's she's stable," Eren says.

Erwin wonders if Levi's ever considered piercing anything.

"It's a good move, as camouflage goes," Ymir says.

The sound of the mandolin rises over the crowd again and Marco comes to join them. He gives Armin an excited hug. Eren winces.

"Hey, I didn't know you played the guitar," Armin says.

"Yeah, since I was a puppy," Marco says. Armin laughs. Eren squints. Marco doesn't notice. He gives Eren a hug, too.

"You sound great," Eren says. He means it.

Levi leans against Erwin. The wine is good. The art is good. The music sounds like music, which always impresses him, having no musical talent himself. Petra and Oulo know how to throw a party, for a murderous horse, no less. He lets himself drift in and out of the conversation while Marco and the others catch up. He notices a little cat's face peeking up from the bottom of a large painting. Besides Marco and Ymir standing near him, the only other shifters he detects are Jean, by the door, and Mina, serving wine and hors d'oeuvres. Erwin's hand finds his waist. Everything feels pleasant, normal. He takes another sip of wine.

"Oh, fuck," Ymir whispers. Her eyes flicker yellow.

"What?" Marco asks, frozen.

"He's here."

**

Erwin spots the white-haired man in the doorframe at the far end of the room. The only exit that won't set off an alarm.

"You should go," Marco says. He looks pale. Zackley shakes Jean's hand enthusiastically.

"I'm supposed to leave with you and Hange," Levi says.

"Why?" Marco asks.

"Auditors in the neighborhood," Erwin explains. This does nothing to calm Marco.

Levi glares in Zackley's direction, still unseen through the crowd. A rare time in his life when he's grateful to be short. "You two need to find out where he lives now. Follow him home, scout his place," Levi says to Ymir and Krista. "Hange can drive Mina back."

"Why is he here," Marco whispers nervously to himself.

"Oh god, Oulo and Petra still don't know, do they?" Krista realizes. "Why didn't Jean tell them?"

"Not everyone takes that news as well as you do," Levi tells her. He shakes his head. "Don't underestimate the value of passing for human, either."

Ymir contemplates the boys. "You two kind of match," she says. "You got your whole pastels-and-boat-shoes thing going on. That could work."

"What are you talking about?" Erwin asks with brewing dread.

"All right, look," she says. "When Zackley sees Levi, he's gonna' flip a shit, right? Unless he thinks you own him, it's open season on Levi, and there's nothing you can do about it if Zackley gets to him. So this is only going to work if you can convince Zackley you're the kind of person who could have captured Levi. _And_ made him loyal to you."

"Jesus Christ," Erwin mutters.

"And a person like _that_ ," Ymir continues, "would have to be an old pro at this. Probably from out of state, very high profile, looking to pick up new victims...expand his market so to speak." She looks at the boys again. "So...one way to gain control over a shifter who's...especially volatile..." she glances at Levi, who snorts into his wine, "is to give them control over another group of shifters. You create a hierarchy." Reiss had tried it with her. It hadn't worked. "So if anyone asks, you're the rabbit," she points at Armin, "and you're the fox." She points at Eren. "And you're socializing them," she says to Erwin.

He gives her a disturbed look.

"Erwin, just go with it," Levi says. "Half the auction is kids their age. A lot of them don't even talk, they have all kinds of problems."

"So I'm bringing them to an art gallery," Erwin says dryly.

"Yes!" Levi hisses. "To show them off! At least, to the people who know what they are. And to get them to...pass for normal, around the people who don't."

"He's right," Marco says as the music starts to wind down. They don't look out of place to Marco at all. He turns to fetch his guitar and take his turn, his body stiff with fear.

Erwin wonders how many quiet, nervous young people he's ever passed were under such duress. He feels cold at the thought. Ymir looks for Zackley in the crowd. He faces away from them, talking to Petra about a painting, near the musicians. She turns back to Erwin. "Where do you have family that's not Savannah?"

"El Paso," Levi cuts in.

"What?" Erwin turns to him.

"Uri has an auction connection in El Paso," Levi says.

"I thought Uri had nothing to do with the auction," Erwin says.

"He doesn't. His friend sneaks people out and brings them here. She can vouch for us."

"Who is this?" Ymir asks.

"Do you know Lupe?" Levi asks. Ymir shakes her head. "She's not around much. Zackley will know her. But not what she does."

Ymir turns back to Eren and Armin. "So. You two. Don't say anything. Look uncomfortable." She narrows her eyes. "And hold hands or something."

They look at each other. "I think we can handle that," Eren says.

"And you," Ymir says, looking at Erwin, "put your hand on their shoulders every so often." She shrugs.

Mina weaves delicately through the thick crowd with a tray of more wine glasses. Erwin and Levi each grab another one. "You're asking me to play a sadist and a pedophile," Erwin observes quietly.

"Your words," Ymir says dryly.

"Welcome to the auction," Levi says under his breath.

"I'm afraid I'm not that good of an actor," Erwin says.

"You are now," Levi says.

Ymir smiles. "Believe me, if Krista can pretend to be evil, so can you."

"Historia," a syrupy voice breaks through the noise. "What a pleasure to see you again."

**

"Jean, why did you talk to that man?" Marco asks, his voice shaking. He sets the guitar back in the stand.

"Who?"

"With the white hair." Marco gestures toward the figure leaning ominously over Armin and Eren.

"Darius? He bought two paintings from me, about a month ago. Why?"

Jean notices Marco trembling. His eyes widen.

The less Krista and Erwin try to impress Zackley, the more eager he seems to gain their interest; the more idly bemused their tone, as though they'd much rather get back to their previous conversation without him, the more vigorously he inserts himself. Erwin thinks of Levi's comments about him being more compelled by the people who didn't seem to need his attention. Erwin considers Zackley's affectations. People with power don't tolerate indifference well, he thinks.

Armin clenches his teeth slightly and looks at the floor to keep a straight face while Erwin strokes his hair. Anxiety blots out any flicker of a thrill at the unfamiliar touch.

"Fascinating," Zackley drawls. He crosses his arms. "I've only encountered one rabbit before. Strange child. Very psychic, supposedly. Not unlike the wild ones," he says, emphasizing his expertise. "But never a fox." He looks back at Krista. "Surely you must want one?" His smile is cruel and yellow. Erwin realizes he's never been around someone who took so much pleasure in seeing other people afraid. Whether the fear in Eren and Armin's stances is real or contrived, he can't tell.

"I'm making up my mind," Krista says languidly, sipping champagne. Ymir squeezes her hand affirmatively. They have a little code: more pressure means 'keep going,' less means 'change course.' "And I'm not so sure Erwin's ready to give this one up yet."

Erwin rests his palm on Eren's upper back. "We have a long way to go before these two are well-behaved enough to go up on the block." Ymir blinks slowly at him: good. Getting warmer.

"They seem better tonight, though," Krista muses.

"Oh, we've made some progress." He brushes a few strands of hair out of Eren's face and straightens his shirt collar. "But we're still under constant supervision." Erwin looks at Levi who sips his wine stoically. Only Erwin and Ymir perceive the reddish glow radiating from Levi's spine: rage. Erwin basks in it like a stage light, a reminder that this is not normal time, that the things he says now are a means to an end.

"I never would have guessed this one would ever be any use to anyone," Zackley says with a spluttery little laugh, looking at Levi. Erwin reaches for the back of Levi's neck. Levi shuts his eyes as if on cue.

"I don't like to back to down from a challenge," Erwin says smugly. "Keeps things interesting."

"Indeed," Zackley says with curious admiration.

Please take the bait, Erwin thinks. Ymir gives him another slow blink.

"I think of this one more as an apprentice," Erwin says. Ymir shakes her head as slowly as she can without detection: too far. That's too much respect. "We all have our gifts," he says in a sinister tone. "Some of us...have a gift for control." He looks down at Levi.

"Yes, it's remarkable," Zackley says, thinking fondly of the bulls, "what one can train an animal to do." Ymir sinks with relief at his reaction. "I'd be very curious to hear about some of your methods."

Erwin smiles faintly.

"I myself have always considered it somewhat of an art," Zackley says with a little shrug to the galley.

"I disagree," Erwin says, unamused, putting Zackley back on the defensive. "A certain set of formulas, applied consistently, over time...I'm not convinced it's anything other than a science." Erwin takes a self-satisfied sip of wine.

"I'm afraid I still have a lot to learn myself," Krista says, implying very subtly that Zackley will have to wait his turn.

"Yes, you were left with quite a handful," Zackley says with an overly thick sympathy. "Such a shame your father isn't here to help you with them. He had such a fine...coterie." He looks at Ymir. "And having tamed this one—"

"My father didn't know how to handle his own property," Krista cuts in coldly. Ymir squeezes her hand firmly. "I'm not dumb enough to repeat his mistakes. If he had stuck to buying instead of sourcing, he would still be here," she says condescendingly. "It's not that I don't...appreciate his efforts," she invokes the veneer of niceness she's spent the last few years learning to slough off. "But I have a lot of sloppy work to undo."

"I suppose everything's a bit messier behind closed doors, isn't it," Zackley says gingerly. "Remind me...how the two of you met?"

Krista gives a little smile that suggests her relationship to Erwin is not strictly educational.

"I teach a summer course at the College of Charleston." Erwin looks at Krista. "We discovered we had some...similar interests."

"Naturally," Zackley says. "And you debuted in El Paso?" Erwin nods. Zackley turns to Krista again. "But you chose not to debut in Charleston?"

"I was going to here, with my father," Krista says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Of course," Zackley backtracks from what he believes is a grave offense. "We have an honorary member here from El Paso," he explains to Erwin, still slightly too eager. "Mostly retired now, but on occasion she still treats us to the presence of her girls. Stunning, all of them. I do quite a bit of sourcing myself, although mostly in Canada, instead of out west. I suppose you could say I specialize in...rare specimens."

Erwin nods with feigned politeness. Ymir's own current of fury is palpable to Levi and no one else.

"Speaking of which," Zackley acknowledges the silent boys again. "These are truly remarkable."

Erwin is loathe to admit that his students are uncommonly good looking young men. He grins.

"Not a scratch on them, either," Zackley observes.

"Oh, we're far past that," Erwin says with feigned pride and a forcefully hidden swell of self-loathing.

"I don't mean to impose," Zackley says cautiously. "I know they aren't for sale, I'm merely curious. How old are they?"

"Old enough," Erwin says cruelly, looking the boys up and down. Zackley cackles. God forgive me, Erwin thinks. "They're seventeen."

"They're the most rebellious at that age, aren't they?" Zackley says with far more camaraderie than Erwin can pretend to be comfortable with. "Unless you break them very, very early. Of course, it depends on the source." He pulls a glass of wine from Mina's tray and winks at Krista. "We had a seller in from Tallahassee just last week," he says, nodding to himself. "Fabulous stock. Gorgeous. You remember my dear friend Janice?" He asks Krista. She nods. "She bought a beautiful golden retriever their age." Erwin fights to suppress his nausea. "An absolute prize, and naturally, refuses to do anything. Won't even say a word." Zackley laughs. The others force obliging chuckles. "You really must come to the gathering Thursday...if you can afford the break from your...busy schedule." Zackley hands Erwin a black business card printed with silver ink.

Is this an invitation, Erwin wonders, or a trap?

**

A young man with sandy blonde hair sits barefoot and shirtless on a bench in Janice's garage. Dried blood cakes his chin. Lurid, hoof-shaped bruises cover his body. Grisha sits next to him and carefully stitches up a series of gashes and bites in the young man's side.

"I told them to leave his face alone," Janice says, shaking her head. "But what do you expect from a bunch of animals?" She laughs to herself. Grisha doesn't hide his disdain, but he doesn't otherwise react.

Their stalemate has gone on for two years.

Janice was known for taking her French Bulldog, Humphrey, with her everywhere—even the doctor's office. Grisha hadn't realized the dog was a scout.

"So what's your daughter?" Janice asked blithely at the end of her appointment. Mikasa sat reading a book for a homeschool course in the waiting room, on a day when Carla was out of town. If Grisha played dumb, she would play the comment off as merely racist: 'What is she? Japanese? Korean?'

Grisha's stony response gave them away. Mikasa never found out why her father was so quiet on their drive home that day.

He doesn't have to treat Janice's captives for free. He does it to keep his finger on the pulse of the auction. She doesn't need the reminder that if anyone comes near Mikasa, her whole plantation life will be up in smoke: hers will be the first name on his lips. Grisha comes to remind her anyway.

He finishes one set of sutures. "Hold still, this will sting." He presses a gauze pad soaked in iodine onto another cut. The young man barely flinches. Grisha rests a hand on the back of his shoulder for a moment. "Do you have a name?" He asks.

"My name is Flocke."

Janice scoffs. "So now you talk!" She throws her hands in the air, then crosses them, furious.

Flocke glares at her. In the doctor's presence, he feels bolder.

Grisha continues the careful lattice of stitches and speaks in a soothing voice. "Where do you come from?"

"Tallahassee," he says. His voice is hoarse.

"May I ask what your other form is?"

Flocke stares at the floor. "I'm a golden retriever." Ordinarily he wouldn't bother speaking. But there's something unusual about the doctor that sets him at ease, and Janice's irritation compels him.

"Do you have any family, Flocke?"

"I have one brother."

"I see." Grisha pulls the thread delicately. "Is he older or younger?"

"He's younger. He's still a puppy."

Janice scowls at the two of them.

"And what is his name?"

"Bill," Flocke says. "Or Billy."

Grisha ties the surgical thread in a careful knot and trims the ends. "Is he also in the auction?"

"No." A grin creeps across Flocke's face. He turns to Grisha. "I got him out."

Janice stands in the corner, fuming.

**

"Go." Levi nearly pushes Krista out the door. Ymir watches Zackley get into his car. "And tell me what you find," Levi adds.

"Then come to the restaurant tomorrow," Ymir says. "And bring what's-his-face. Uri."

"Fine," Levi says. "See you then."

Erwin stands nauseous and stunned, and yet, in a strange way, he's never felt prouder of a group of his students.

"You think he bought it?" Eren asks. Reception guests filter out into the parking lot.

"He kept looking at you like pieces of meat," Levi says to him and Armin. "He was buying something."

"What do we do now?" Armin asks.

"Wait to see what Ymir and Krista find out," Levi says. "You did well, you know."

Armin blushes. "We didn't do anything."

Levi scowls. "Give yourself some credit." He looks at Erwin. "And you need to give yourself a break."

**

Mikasa the cat lies next to Carla on the couch when Armin and Eren walk in. The house is quiet except for the TV. Carla stitches a needlepoint design. "How was the opening?" She asks them.

"It was cool," Eren says. "I liked it." He and Armin exchange a quick glance.

"Did you get enough to eat?" Carla asks.

"Yeah," Armin lies. His appetite has long since left.

"Where's Dad?" Eren asks.

Carla is quiet for a second. "He had to make a house call."

"Like an actual house call?" Eren thinks of his visit to Erwin's when Levi first appeared.

Carla nods. "One of his older patients." She supposes it's technically true. Janice is nearly sixty. Carla sees no reason to burden the kids with the rest of the details.

Levi drinks a glass of water in Hange's kitchen and silently wishes he'd gone to the Jaegers' instead. Or perhaps to Mike and Nanaba's. He sits on the living room couch and feels as though the walls are closing in. Decades worth of books cram the floor-to-ceiling shelves. Towers of papers form a little citadel around a hopeless desk in the corner. The coffee table threatens to collapse under the weight of unopened mail and gardening magazines, and clusters of frames take up every last bit of wall space. Everything needs dusting. Maybe this is my next job, he thinks; what load of crap would I rid this place of first? I haven't had nearly enough wine for this.

"Are you all right?" Hange asks warmly.

"Yeah," Levi says. "I just drank too much wine."

**

"Shit. I lost him," Krista says.

"He turned left." Ymir senses Zackley's presence moving farther away. Krista follows. She shuts off her headlights and follows the red eyes of Zackley's car down a winding street lined with dense trees, just far enough away to stay undetectable. A gate closes behind him. Krista stays back to avoid any camera mounted above the little keypad on the stone column.

"What can you see from here?" Krista asks.

Ymir shuts her eyes. Lights flick on in the windows. "He's in the basement," she says. "It has to be him. Feline, male, 40s...oh god..." Ymir fidgets in her seat. "His current's all fucked up. And there's—no." Ymir's voice fades to a whisper. "No, no, no..." The other currents are distant and faint, but unmistakable. Ymir's hair blackens. Her claws appear. She shakes her head slowly.

"Ymir? What's wrong?"

Ymir lets out a furious half-scream, half-howl. The women in the basement don't hear the sound. Instead, in their minds' eyes, they see a familiar fire.

"Ymir! What are you doing?" Krista pulls the car into reverse and backs farther down the road before she turns the headlights back on. Ymir continues to wail. "Ymir, stop it!" Krista pulls out of the neighborhood and onto the interstate.

Ymir turns human again and collapses into heaving sobs. Krista parks at a gas station.

"Ymir, what's wrong? What's happening?" Krista pleads.

Ymir plants her head in Krista's lap, unable to speak.

**

Erwin turns on the TV for background noise. With Levi away, the house is disturbingly quiet. He walks to the window and spots the white van across the street.

"Ok, what have we got?" the driver asks.

"One human. Male, adult." Erwin's red silhouette appears on the woman's screen.

"No shifter activity?"

"He drove here, you idiot." Their patience is wearing thin.

"Yes, I know, I saw that," the driver retorts. "I mean around the house."

"No, nothing. Just this one guy," the woman says.

"Good, then let's get out of here."

Erwin watches the van drive away. He switches the TV off, pours himself a night cap of whiskey, sits on the porch, and waits.


	44. Guilt and punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin's guilt at the prospect of putting Levi and his students in danger overwhelms him. Levi decides to take the edge off by punishing Erwin first, in their favorite ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's probably clear from the summary, but this chapter has another bottom!Erwin scene in which Levi's claws get some more action (hence, blood).

It's just one night, Erwin thinks; it shouldn't matter if Levi’s sleeping elsewhere, as long as he's safe.

Erwin downs the last of the whiskey. The artificial fatigue makes his limbs feel heavy and his core feel warm.

You're an adult, Erwin, he tells himself; you can handle a night to yourself. He realizes Levi's company has spoiled him. He steps back into the house, into the silence he managed to avoid for weeks.

He tries to sleep. Instead, he thinks of Levi.

**

Levi the cat peers up at Hange out of a cloth shopping bag. Hange carries his backpack on her other shoulder. Krista meets her at the door to her apartment in a t-shirt and shorts. The restaurant won't open for another few hours. Once the door shuts behind them, Levi jumps out onto the floor and sniffs around the unfamiliar room while the women talk.

The wolf lies sleeping on the couch, the garish wounds on her face still healing. Levi climbs up and lies down next to her. She opens her eye, then shuts it serenely.

**

Ymir sits with her knees to her chest in the back of the mezzanine. She drinks the strongest valerian cocktail Marco can make. The air is dense with her stress. Levi lies in a square of sunlight on the table next to her. She runs her hand over his fur to calm down; he doesn't protest. He pretends her hands are Erwin’s and begins to purr involuntarily. Ymir notices the scars on his belly.

"You're going to shift soon," she says, before he even feels it. "It's all right, there's no customers yet, you can change up here."

"Sorry!" Krista shouts, turning away at the top of the stairs as Levi pulls on his jeans.

"It's fine," he mutters, glad to have his voice back. He buttons his shirt.

"Do y'all want anything to eat?" Krista asks. Ymir shakes her head.

"Whatever fish you have is fine," Levi says. "Don't cook it," he adds as Krista begins to turn back downstairs.

"Um, ok," she says.

"Oh, by the way," Levi leans over the railing and peers down at her, "Do you have any tea?" She nods. Levi sits down across from Ymir and looks at her gravely. "So. What did you see?"

Ymir leans back against the wall. She pulls an aspect of the wolf's face into the physical. One of her eyes disappears, leaving only a scarred, empty socket. The wolf's sutures appear across her face. From her other eye, tears spill freely. "I wish I had seen nothing."

**

"Who's the strongest person you know?" Ymir asks Levi. A piece of venison dangles from her fork. Krista has talked her into eating and out of working for the day.

"I don't know," Levi says. Maybe Josephine. Maybe Pixis. Perhaps even Erwin; at least, he'd like to think so.

"You don't have to answer, it's more of a rhetorical question," Ymir says, staring at the food. "They were the most powerful people I had ever met," she says, her voice straining and cracking. No other diners sit on the mezzanine. "They were seers. Holy women."

"I'm hard-pressed to imagine anyone stronger or creepier than you are." Levi bites into a sliver of raw tilapia.

Ymir laughs bitterly. "Trust me. You just wait." She sighs. "They were like our scouting legion. Well. All the avians were. They brought us reports on humans, poachers." Ymir runs a clawed hand through her hair. "In our minds...they were goddesses."

And now they're slaves, Levi thinks. Science experiments. Toys.

"If these two are gone, all the others are gone." Her voice is hollow.

"I'm sorry," Levi says. Words that rarely cross his lips.

They sit in silence for a moment.

"You know I'm going to help you with your uncle," Ymir says. "But when all this is done, Zackley is mine."

"You can have him." Levi looks at her sternly. "When all this is done. I want Erwin and the kids out of the picture before you make your move."

She glances at the table, then back up at him. "Suit yourself."

**

Levi takes a deep breath and hits 'send.' He doubts the little academic press in Mannheim will want the translation of Josephine's book. Still, it's worth a shot. He closes the document with the book proposal and reaches for his teacup on the little mezzanine table. He doesn't expect to see an email from Erwin.

 _Are you ok? Are they feeding you?_  
_—E_

Levi laughs in spite of himself. He hasn't had a conversation in writing in years. On occasion, he and Farlan left each other notes.

 _Like a king_ , he writes. _More fish than I know what to do with. Why? Are you worried about me?_

 _Always_ , comes the response a few moments later.

Levi sighs. It's a grace to be cared for. It's a curse to be the source of someone else's worry.

_Was everything ok at Hange and Moblit's?_

Levi shakes his head. _Erwin your friends are pack rats. If this ever happens again I'm staying with Nanaba and Mike. By the way_ , Levi adds, _Ymir says to bring Eren and Armin to the restaurant once you get done with your practice._

_I don't want to bring them into this._

_I know_ , Levi types. _But it's too late._ He pauses. _Just invite them. We'll figure out the details later._

**

A little sign by the staircase declares the mezzanine closed for a private event.

"But I have to do something!" Ymir growls, barely breaking the wall of dinner noise below. Hannah seats guests in her place. "I can't just leave them there, I have to get them out!" Her claws sink into the dark wood of the table.

"I got a sawed-off shotgun in my garage," Uri says. "If I didn't already have eyes on me because of Rod," Uri glances cooly at Ymir and Levi, "I'd have a mind to walk up to his front door and blow his goddamn face off. We'd walk out of there and call it a night."

"It doesn't work that way," Levi grumbles.

"Levi. I know that." Uri says. "I'm just as frustrated as you are."

Marco brings a tray of drinks up to the mezzanine. He winks discreetly at Eren. There's whiskey in the cokes.

"Can I just...buy him?" Krista shrugs and reaches for her stiff cocktail.

"Don't waste your money," Levi says.

"But that's the easiest thing, right?" Krista says.

"Can you blackmail Zackley?" Armin asks. "Find something else about him and blackmail him about that? Maybe get the money back that way?"

"Possibly. But that's gonna' require some research," Ymir says. "And that's gonna' take some time."

Erwin rubs his face, exasperated. "Is there _any_ way to get out of going to this thing tomorrow night." Ymir glares at him, eyes yellow. Erwin crosses his arms and glares back. "This is not going to work."

"Erwin, look, they're private citizens," Ymir says, gesturing to the boys. "If something goes wrong, they can press charges. Do you know how the police are going to bend over backwards to cover shit up for the auction? I'm dead serious. You got two rich, white human kids. It's not like they're going to take them and fucking shoot them in an alley. You have the upper hand here. Worst case, you end up in a stalemate."

"Ymir, it's not that simple. You know that," Levi says.

"I can't do that to the others," Krista says. "If someone comes for them, there's nothing I can do without outing everyone. I can't put them in that kind of danger again." If the auction discovered she was a sponsor, they wouldn't come for her—it would be too risky. But they'd have little incentive to avoid recapturing her staff.

"And what about Ken?" Uri asks.

Ymir sighs. "Worst case, we don't get him out."

"Well this is some bullshit," Uri says.

Ymir sneers at him. "Scratch that. Worst case, he's already dead in Zackley's basement, 'cause he got beaten to death for information on Levi. We are doing the best we can here."

"All right, how about this," Levi says with a little hiss. "I'm going undercover." He points at himself. "I need three accomplices. I'm inviting you, you, and you." He points at Erwin, Eren, and Armin. "I'm not going to sugar coat this. They're going to be torturing people in public. You're going to have to pretend to be excited about that," he says to Erwin, "and you're just going to have to watch," he says to the boys.

Erwin puts his face in his hand.

"I'm asking you a personal favor," Levi says. "It's gonna' be a nightmare." He throws his hands up.

Armin looks at the table. "I can stand around and look terrified for an hour."

"Perfect." Levi crosses his arms.

"Well that's all well and good," Uri says, looking at the boys, "But what the hell are you gonna' have them wear?" He bites into a slice of fried green tomato.

"Fuck," Levi mutters.

Ymir looks them up and down. "You wear uniforms to school?"

Eren nods.

Ymir turns to Levi. "Then put them in skirts."

**

"Erwin," Levi turns to him as they get into the car. He reaches for Erwin's face and gently tilts it toward him. He leans across the console and kisses him. "I missed you last night."

Erwin smiles and starts the car. But he doesn't say anything.

"Erwin," Levi says softly. "It's an act. They know it's an act."

"I know, Levi." Erwin says. He shakes his head and changes lanes.

"Erwin. They want to help. Let them."

Erwin groans. "I know they do. But you can't exactly blame me for not wanting to expose my own students to this kind of thing."

"I don't," Levi says. "You're trying to do the right thing." Levi flicks the plane of his current forward and looks at his clawed hand. "But so am I. And so are they."

"If something goes wrong and one of you gets hurt, I am never going to forgive myself."

"You never forgive yourself for anything," Levi says. Another moment of silence. "Erwin, you have to quit guilt tripping about this. You didn't do anything wrong. And you're not going to do anything wrong."

"You're right," Erwin says unconvincingly. The atmosphere in the car is noxious with unease.

When they get back to the house, Erwin is still quiet. Levi leans against the bedroom doorframe and watches him undress. "Would it help," Levi asks, "if I went ahead and punished you now? For all the 'awful things' you're going to do?"

"Excuse me?"

Levi looks at his claws, then lets them vanish with a sudden crack. "You heard me," he says with an evil smile.

Erwin raises a thick eyebrow.

"Come here," Levi says. "And get on your knees."

Erwin laughs.

"I told you to come here." Levi bites his lip and puts his hand on his hip.

Erwin obliges. Levi likes the sight of it, the tall man looking up at him, naked while he stands dressed. Erwin begins undoing Levi's belt and unzipping his jeans. "That's right," Levi says. "Do you like it when I tell you what to do?"

"At times," Erwin admits. He looks up at Levi. "Often," he clarifies. Between teaching and coaching, he secretly relishes the breaks from being in charge.

"Good," Levi says. "'Cause I like telling you what to do." His voice is sinister but playful. Erwin's lips hover around the tip of Levi's cock. "If you want me to stop, just tell me to stop," Levi says, lightening up on the act for a moment.

"I got it," Erwin says. He takes Levi into his mouth. He grabs the inside of Levi's thigh with one hand and fondles his balls with the other. Levi leans back against the wall. His breath quickens. He draws one claw lightly up the back of Erwin's neck. Erwin's body stiffens; he lets out a little gasp.

"Ah, ah. Keep going," Levi directs, pushing himself back into Erwin's mouth. "That's it. Good." He has a generous tongue, Levi thinks, swirling up the sides of his cock as Erwin sucks him. He reaches for the back of Erwin's neck and lets the tips of his claws barely hook into Erwin's skin as he draws back. "Now get on the bed. And turn around." Levi admires Erwin's body as he unbuttons his shirt and hunts for the little jar of oil in the drawer. He doesn't have the build Levi expects from a distance runner, broader and thicker, and "God, you're tight," Levi says as he slips a human finger into Erwin's taut, muscular ass.

Levi works slowly but not gently. Erwin's breathing is shallow and strained. In their reflection in the mirror above the dresser, Levi sees the desperate expression on Erwin's face and his thick erection drawing a little wet line on the sheet beneath them. Levi pushes down on Erwin's back, between his shoulder blades, until his chest and the side of his face touch the mattress. He holds Erwin down with his palm. He delicately sinks his claws into Erwin's back; just the tips at first, until Erwin is pinned such that moving too much risks making the little gashes deeper.

"You're a monster," Levi says, penetrating him slowly but forcefully. His voice is deliciously cruel. "All you care about is getting your own way." Each thrust pulls Erwin's skin against Levi's claws. Erwin grits his teeth. Levi releases his claws and grips a handful of Erwin's hair instead. "Someone has to give you what you deserve." Levi smiles wickedly. What you deserve, he thinks, is a loud orgasm.

Erwin groans; his body jerks and twitches involuntarily as he comes on the sheets. Levi laughs an evil laugh. "You're pathetic," he whispers. He lets his clawed hand snap back to normal and grips Erwin's waist, hard, on edge. He pounds Erwin's gasping body into the mattress. He pulls out and comes on Erwin's back. Strange colors of light fill the room.

Erwin sits on the edge of the bed, relaxed and tired, as Levi cleans the circle of fresh cuts. The alcohol makes them sting again. Erwin savors the sharp sensation. Levi puts away the bandages and kneels behind Erwin. He wraps his arms around Erwin's shoulders and looks at their reflection in the mirror. He kisses Erwin's neck. "You know," Levi says, "the kids are doing me a favor tomorrow. They're just standing in." He kisses Erwin's ear, then his cheek. "But you," he says, "are under orders."

Erwin laughs and heaves a deep sigh. Levi lies back and switches off the light. Erwin reaches for him in the dark, and pulls him close. "I missed you last night, too, you know."


	45. Silver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No vengeful plot is complete without disguises. Levi will be damned if he can't at least enjoy one aspect of what he's about to do, but Erwin struggles to embrace the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so hoping to get farther with this chapter. I swear we will make it to the auction eventually! If you are reading this, you deserve a burro and a bolo tie.

Jean looks uneasy as Marco wipes down the bar. He stirs his drink, still stinging with guilt, knowing his rent is being paid by one of the men who hurt Marco. No wonder Zackley had been so fascinated with the paintings of horses, Jean thinks; he's the only person besides the police to see Jean's other handiwork—the shoeless hoof marks all over the the three mutilated men. There's no reason for Zackley to suspect Jean; no logical one, anyway, he thinks. But the possibility burns in his mind like a little hot coal that refuses to go out, and the thought of his new friends in danger makes his blood drag slowly, as if unwillingly, through his body.

"But isn't everyone going to know they're human?" Jean tries to picture the reactions to Armin and Eren, but he's never been inside the auction.

"Not necessarily," Ymir says, perched on her stool as the other staff finish clearing tables. She turns to Marco. "Did you know what Jean was when you met him? I know you couldn't tell what I was."

"No," Marco says. "But I knew you were...something."

Ymir thinks of the unusual light between the couples she first perceived at the vet's office. That was 'something,' she thinks, and something she's never encountered among the auction. She swirls the last of her drink around the bottom of her glass. "So tell me. Go back a few weeks, imagine you're in the auction. You see two kids, and you can't tell what they are. But there's something coming off of them, even if it's subtle. What's your first reaction?"

"I don't know," Marco says.

"But you don't assume they're human," Ymir says, with just enough urgency to make Marco wonder how hard she's trying to convince herself.

"Well...no."

"And even if you knew. Even if you could tell," her eyes narrow and her voice strains, "What would you have thought? You wouldn't have told anyone, would you?"

Marco leans against the bar, pensive. "I guess...I would have just been confused." He looks back up at Ymir. "I would have thought...some kind of weird shit was about to go down, I guess."

"Ymir..." Jean leans back and gives her a skeptical look. "Be careful."

**

Erwin wishes he'd brought Levi to work. Even constant sass would be better than the quiet moments alone with his restless thoughts, wondering how much to tell the others. If it were only him and Levi going, it'd be one thing. He struggles to make eye contact with Armin and Eren during class. At very least, Lupe had offered them all a burro on the house before the gathering. Eren seems relatively unfazed, even happy at the prospect of free food and his boyfriend in a skirt. Armin wears a veil of quiet dread and stoic determination; to Erwin, it speaks volumes about the discrepancy in the boys' intelligence.

Erwin's phone vibrates on his desk. He picks it up. "Krista? Hi. What's going on?"

"Hi, Erwin, um, what size shoe do you wear?" The task of buying disguises fell on Ymir and Krista, in the sliver of time before the restaurant opens.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, we, uh...found some that we think would really work," Krista says. Ymir grins at the pair of black snakeskin Western boots in the men's section of the vintage store.

"Oh. Right," Erwin says. "Well... I trust your judgment. Eleven and a half." Good lord, Erwin thinks; what kind of get-up are they going to put us in? He knows Ymir will go for accuracy. He just prays she won't embarrass them any more than she has to.

"Krista!" Ymir whispers from another corner of the shop. She holds up a little white jewelry box.

"Ok, thanks, I'll talk to you later!" She hangs up, darts over to Ymir, and peers in the box. "Oh my god," she says. "That's perfect."

The clerk at the costume shop down the street hardly bats an eye at the two young women buying flimsy tartan skirts. Between the art college and the state university, the beginning of the fall is awash in themed parties. When they reach their final stop, Ymir stands still in front of a mannequin in the shop window, her eyes glowing.

"Fuck," she mutters to herself, as she turns over the tiny hanging price tag.

"What? How much is it?" Krista walks up to her behind the window display.

"Four hundred and fifty," Ymir laughs to herself.

"Get it," Krista says. She smiles warmly. Ymir draws back slightly. Then Krista begins to blush. She looks back up at Ymir with twinkling eyes. "I want to see you in it."

**

Erwin wedges his car into a tiny parking space. Colorful lights glow from the inside of Holy Molé. A petite Mexican woman stands out front and talks to Uri, with Levi draped around her shoulders. They stand next to a matte black 1983 El Camino with a Louisiana license plate. Levi notices Erwin approaching and leaps off of Lupe onto the ground, and into Erwin's arms.

"You must be Erwin!" Lupe laughs. The street light above glints off of one of her gold teeth.

Erwin clutches Levi to him with one hand and shakes Lupe's with the other. "Really kind of you to help us out."

She flips her hand. "For Kenny? Anything."

Levi grumbles, unable to understand how someone as venomous as Kenny manages to endear himself to so many people.

"Thanks for picking him up," Erwin says to Uri, stroking Levi's fur. Uri simply nods.

An enormous white Escalade pulls up next to them. Ymir and Krista step out. Uri laughs and shakes his head. "Of course," he says. "Of course Rod would have that car."

"Isn't it perfect?" Ymir cackles.

"Wait a second—" Erwin looks at her.

She grins. "What? You didn't think we were going to let you drive up in...that, did you?" She tilts her head toward Erwin's humble Prius. "Why else do you think we had Uri bring the El Camino?"

Uri smiles wryly. He reaches out and drops the keys into Erwin's palm. A little ceramic skull attached to the ring looks up at Erwin with rhinestone eyes.

"God almighty," Erwin mutters.

Uri claps him on the shoulder. "Are we doin' this, or what?"

A shiny black dog looks out into the parking lot from the office window. Her eyes widen with excitement, recognizing the oddly luminous man she waited on the week before, brighter with the cat around his shoulders. Her tail thwacks against the glass like a whip.

**

"Are you gonna' finish that?" Eren points to the half-eaten burro on Armin's plate.

"What? Oh. Yeah, you can have it."

"Hey, are you ok?" Eren rubs Armin's back.

"Yeah," Armin shrugs. When he tried to picture the events at which he'd be willing to wear a skirt out of the house, the auction was not exactly what he had in mind. And yet, there's a safety to it, he thinks, technically being disguised. He trusts Erwin. He wants to trust Ymir. He fidgets. The restaurant is loud around them. Bright paper lanterns hang over the alcove where they sit, away from the crowd.

The black dog noses curiously at Levi. Levi lets out a low hiss, and Lupe pulls the dog back into her lap. "No, no, sweetheart. Not everybody wants a kiss. Leave the kitty alone." The dog licks Lupe's face adoringly. The three young shifter women living with her are the daughters she never had.

"How much do you think she's gonna' go for?" Uri looks at the dog.

"Realistically?" Ymir sips an enormous margarita. "Two hundred grand." She turns to Erwin and Krista. "And you two have to get the highest bid, no matter what."

Not a problem, Erwin thinks, if the sale is fake. Empty briefcases wait in the backs of the cars. "And you're sure she's all right with this?" Erwin gestures toward the dog in Lupe's lap. Surrounding Levi with people who tortured him is bad enough, he thinks, but he isn't asking Levi to go back up on the block again.

"Oh honey," Lupe says. "We talked about it. Elena is my little actress." She kisses the dog's head; her tail threatens to swipe over the glasses on the table. "She's gonna' be just fine, isn't that right?" The dog lets out a little yelp. "Drama queen," Lupe says, shaking her head. She looks at the clock in the corner, held up by a statue of a Toltec warrior. "You better go suit up," she says. "I'll see you at the party." She flashes her gilded smile.

**

The flimsy zipper on Armin's skirt keeps catching the thin fabric. He finally manages to fasten it. In the mirror on the door of Krista's cramped bathroom, he sees Eren standing behind him, looking at the floor. "What's wrong?" Armin asks.

Eren's face breaks into a smile. He laughs to himself. "You know...that thing?"

"What thing?"

"That thing I told you to never, ever tell me, unless I specifically asked you to?" Eren rests his head on Armin's shoulder; his erection pokes Armin's butt.

"Ohhh," Armin says. "The emergency boner killer."

"Yeah. That." Eren had been so traumatized by the thought that he had fought as hard as he could to push it out of his mind.

Armin laughs. "You sure you want me to do this?"

"Please," Eren whimpers, unable to actually remember what the offensive premise is. His hands travel down to Armin's hips.

Armin bites his lip. "Ok," he says with a sigh. "Take a good look at what I'm wearing."

"Mmm," Eren groans at the sight.

"Now picture your dad in it."

A scream of anguish erupts from the bathroom. Krista nearly pokes Ymir's eye with the black kohl pencil at the sudden sound. "Guys? Are you ok?" she leans against the bathroom door. It opens behind her.

"Yeah," Eren says, his face flushed, but the front pleats of his skirt lying obediently flat.

**

This could be worse, Erwin thinks. He tucks the black western shirt into his stiff, dark jeans and slides on the snakeskin boots. Not bad. A belt with a silver buckle made of two eagles fighting lies in the long shoebox. Erwin shakes his head and puts it on.

He turns around and freezes. Levi wears silver, holographic leggings, the foil-like fabric leaving nothing to the imagination.

"Oh my god," Erwin mutters. He rests his face in his hand.

"Erwin," Levi says with an evil smile. "This is only part of the costume." He reaches into one of the bags and draws out a complicated harness, made from black leather. "Help me into this."

Erwin sits on the edge of the bed and obeys, buckling Levi into the contraption. He bites his lip.

"Just think of how much fun we'll have with this when this whole circus is over," Levi purrs. Erwin fastens a strap across Levi's chest. Dual straps circle his shining, muscular thighs.

Erwin sighs and hangs his head, resting his hands on Levi's hips. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"You're damn right I am," Levi says, turning to admire himself in Krista's gold-framed mirror. "If I have to deal with these sick bastards, you bet I'm going milk it for all it's worth." He leans down and kisses Erwin greedily, amused at Erwin's frustration. He straddles Erwin's lap.

Erwin kisses the center of his chest and reaches for the straps that cross Levi's back. The silver fabric announces the growing swell between Levi's legs. There's a knock on the door.

"How's it going in there?" Ymir asks. Levi steps down as she opens the door.

"Oh. Wow," Krista says, looking in from the living room.

Levi walks out, shamelessly half-erect. Erwin follows sheepishly. Ymir rubs her clawed hands together gleefully. The boys, sitting awkwardly on the couch with their knees pressed together in their short gray tartan skirts, try not to stare. They fail.

Levi crosses his arms and looks the women up and down. Krista wears a strapless silver silk cocktail dress with an imposing pair of black platform heels. Levi nods in approval. Her hair is pinned up in a tight twist, her mouth a bolt of dark red lipstick. "Where's your riding crop?" he teases.

"It's in the bag," she says, nodding toward her kitchen table.

Levi laughs and turns to Ymir, wearing a rhinestone collar and draped in a short silver satin kimono. "All right. Off with it."

"Fine," she says coyly, dropping the slinky robe to the floor. A dress made of thin silver chains flows down her body. Erwin fights to keep a straight face. Krista smiles greedily.

"Mother of god," Levi says, taking it all in.

Ymir chuckles and does a little twirl. "What do you think?" The low apartment light glints off the fine chain mail, outlining every curve of her tall, athletic body.

Levi grins. "These are the times I'm glad I'm not interested in women."

Erwin stands in the corner with his forehead pressed to the heel of his hand.

"Sorry," Ymir says.

"You're not fucking sorry," Levi retorts.

"You're right," she says, eyes flashing.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Krista reaches into the bag on the table, "This is for you." She hands Erwin the small white box.

He opens it and pulls out a black leather bolo tie with a clasp made of out of a silver-plated crow's skull. He loops it around his neck. "Where the hell did you find this?"

Krista shrugs.

"Well, now we all match," Erwin says.

Levi starts laughing at him.

"What?" Erwin sets his hand on his hip.

"You look like a Nazi that wants to be a cowboy," Levi says.

"Thanks," Erwin says.

"It suits you," Ymir offers. Erwin glares at her. "No, I mean, really," she says.

"And you two..." Levi walks over to the boys on the couch. He strokes his chin. "I don't know what weird porn set you escaped from," he says with a wicked grin. "Something's off, though." He steps back.

"Lose the shirts," Ymir says.

The boys look at each other and shrug. They stand up. No one in the room but Eren expects for Armin to reveal a six-pack when he takes his shirt off.

"Oh...perfect," Ymir growls. Erwin hadn't realized the boys were wearing narrow silver collars as well. Ymir turns to Levi. "Stop smiling," she goads him. "This isn't supposed to be fun."

He rolls his eyes at her. "Yes, I'm sure you and Krista are having 'no fun at all' with this," he says snidely. "I, for one," he announces to the room, "am determined to enjoy this whole debacle as much as I fucking can."

Armin's face glows red, loathe to admit how much he likes his outfit. Erwin stands still, his posture stiff. He's grateful to see Levi happy, even if his humor is cruel. But enjoying the situation feels like a betrayal.

"Can you stop looking so mortified for like five minutes?" Levi asks him. "I swear to god. You look like someone's died."

"Levi—"

"You're supposed to be in charge, here!" Levi says. He claps in Erwin's face. "Lights, camera, action, Erwin!"

Erwin glares at him. He steps forward and towers over him. "Levi," he says coldly with a straight face, "Shut your mouth, grab your things, and go get in the car."

Levi smiles. "That's more like it." Erwin's expression remains stern. Levi reaches for his backpack. "Come on, jailbait," he says to the boys. "Showtime."

Erwin grabs Levi by the front of the harness. "I told you to shut up." His voice is frigid. They stare at each other for a moment, Erwin's gaze piercing, cruel, and beautiful. Then the corner of his mouth begins to tremble. They both start laughing and Erwin drops Levi back onto the ground.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Ymir says. "Why don't you two rehearse in the car, and maybe by the time we get there, it'll look convincing." She pulls her robe back on. Levi and the boys slip on their sweatshirts.

Erwin and Levi climb back into Uri's El Camino. Before Erwin can rest his forehead against the steering wheel in despair, Levi reaches for the ends of his bolo tie and pulls him across the console for a kiss. Erwin runs his hand through Levi's hair, then rests it on the back of his neck.

"I was going to say everything's going to be ok," Levi says as he draws back, reaching for Erwin's free hand. "But it's probably not true."

Erwin sighs and starts the car.

"No," Levi says, "It will be ok. Things will be fine as long as I'm with you."

Erwin cracks a smile and it fills Levi with secret relief.


	46. Cabinet of Curiosities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Auction, part one. Zackley knows Erwin is hiding something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the most difficult chapter to write so far, by a long shot. Any and all feedback is appreciated!

Levi leans back in his seat with his feet on the dashboard. Uri's car gets bemused looks from the other drivers. Erwin looks glazed at the road ahead, lost in thought. He snaps out of the momentary trance as they reach a stoplight. "I'm just surprised you're so...upbeat about all this," he says.

"Tch." Levi turns to look out the window. "If I don't at least laugh about it, I'll go crazy." They drive in silence for a moment. "It's kind of how I am, you know," Levi says. "I have to find some thread to hang on to." He runs his hand through his hair. "Otherwise I would have left to join Farlan a long time ago."

A dark wave fills the car, enveloping both of them.

"You don't want to be like them," Levi says softly. "That's why you can't do it."

They drive on. "I just keep thinking," Erwin says, "...what if I run into someone I know."

"It's possible," Levi admits.

"The year after I finished my master's...the head of my department got arrested," Erwin says, his chest clenching at the memory. "As far as I know, he's still in prison." He searches the dark road ahead of them. "They found two thousand child pornography videos on his work computer. About ten percent of them...he'd recorded himself." He shudders. "This was someone I saw almost every day," Erwin shakes his head. "Just the most...normal, friendly guy you'd ever meet. Least it seemed that way. After that I realized...they're everywhere. These sick people...blending in."

"I guess I never had a phase of trusting people," Levi says.

"What, besides me?"

"Tch. I mean by default. I broke into your house and spied on you for weeks. Come on." Levi doesn't want to admit how quickly he was drawn to Erwin, how fast his infatuation built.

"Levi, for the last time," Erwin says, the light in the car gradually brightening, "you didn't 'break in,' to my house. I adopted you."

Levi feels warm at the word 'adopted.' "Fine, whatever you say."

Erwin turns to him. "If Kenny hadn't come for you, would you have shown me what you were?"

"Eventually," Levi says sheepishly. "I would have messed with some more things first, though."

"I thought I was losing my mind," Erwin says.

"I know," Levi says. "You're so handsome when you look like you're losing your grip on reality."

"Thanks," Erwin says.

Levi cracks a smile. "Almost as good as you look dressed up like an evil Tim McGraw."

"Levi." Erwin is grateful that the details on his shirt are all in black; less cartoonishly ostentatious than what he had imagined.

"Oh, come on. You look like everyone's hot dad, and you know it."

By now Erwin is smiling in spite of himself.

"Nothing you do hurts people, Erwin," Levi says. "I hurt people."

"Yeah, well, it's not like you make a sport of it. You do it to survive."

"You're right." Levi turns to Erwin as they approach the end of a long driveway, flanked with tall brick pillars and an open iron gate. "What do you think we're doing right now?"

**  
Ymir presses her fingers to her temples and winces.

"Ymir? What's wrong?" Krista parks and shuts off the ignition.

"There's...ugh, god there's so many of them..." Ymir's awareness is flooded with the chaos of currents streaming from the house: messy and erratic, a constant background noise, a subconscious scream for help. As if she didn't hate these parties enough. She groans and slouches down into the seat. "From here there's no way for me to tell if Kenny's in the house," she says. "It's too noisy. We have to just look for him."

"I've been in this house," Erwin realizes as he steps out onto the driveway.

"Really?" Eren asks, shutting the door to Rod's car.

"Shhh," Levi hisses. Eren rolls his eyes and gets back into character. He clutches Armin's sweaty hand.

"Yeah, some fundraiser tour of homes. Marie roped me into it," Erwin says.

"Tch. Fundraiser for what?" Levi mutters.

"A children's hospital, I think."

Janice's black van stands discreetly off to the side of the house, away from the gleaming line of eccentric cars. Armin catches his reflection in the window of a mint green vintage Thunderbird. He wonders what it feels like to wear Krista's tall shoes. Although she barely reaches Ymir's shoulder, she walks with a slow, fluid authority, like an animal herself.

An imposing man in a suit with a wire in his ear checks them in at the door. The tall marble foyer is quiet when they enter, until a young woman rushes up to them. "Ymir!" she shouts and kneels at Ymir's feet; she kisses Ymir's hand.

Except for a dusting of gold powder, bright against her dark skin, she wears no makeup; not surprising to Levi, since it would fall off of her face in a thin mask when she next shifts. Dozens of strands of blue and gold beads hang from her neck; her arms are wrapped in thick gold cuffs. Her linen dress has a long slit, exposing her long legs. Janice always did have a fetish for Egypt, Levi thinks; dressing her shifters like the animal-headed gods. This one must belong to her, too.

"Lena," Ymir says dryly. "What a pleasure."

Lena gasps and looks up at Krista. "This is your new mistress?" Her voice is high and ditzy. She kisses Krista's hand, too. She lets out a little squeal when she sees the boys and clamps her hand over her mouth, staring. She folds her hands imploringly and looks at Erwin. "Oh, please tell me...what are they? They're so beautiful!"

Erwin is too disturbed by the woman's antics to smile.

"It's never just an auction," Levi warned them. Part parade, part performance, part obedience contest on the part of the captives: a carnival for sadists. A favorite method of discipline: the least well-behaved gets chosen for some torturous display at the next gathering. A way to keep the shifters pitted against each other, vying for affection and safety. So this is what it looks like, Erwin thinks.

"Mommy, look!" Lena scampers over to the tall figure appearing in the doorframe and points, her movements theatrical and childlike. She clutches Janice's arm. Janice's black velvet gown sweeps the floor. Her lips curl into a smile.

"Historia! So happy you could make it, sweetheart. We've been waiting for you." Janice drapes her bony arms around Krista's shoulders. Krista wears the stilted grin of someone who's been called 'sweetheart' far too many times.

Janice extends her chilly hand to Erwin and makes her introduction. "Lena," she orders, "Go get Lupe. Her friends are here."

Lena nods vigorously and skips into the adjoining parlor. Disgust brews in Ymir. She fights to keep it off of her face. The last thing on Earth she wants is to be so gleefully subservient she forgets her own mind. What won't we do to survive, she thinks bitterly.

"Well! Here's a face I never thought I'd see again." Janice grips Levi's chin with her thumb and forefinger. Levi forces himself still, aching with temptation to draw his claws and slash her face to ribbons. Erwin rests his palm on Levi's back. "You must be good at _something_ for this handsome gentleman to take you in," Janice says with self-satisfied disdain. She tilts Levi's chin up with her long fingernail. "After everything you did," she sneers. "Animals," she mutters with a cruel chuckle. "What do you expect? But these, oh—" she turns to the boys with an expression that makes Armin think of a cross between Cruella DeVille and the witch from Hansel and Gretel. Never in his life has he encountered someone who looked so sincerely as if she wanted to eat him. "Aren't they just the most precious things you've ever seen!" Janice shrieks with a delighted laugh pressing her fingertips to her collarbone. That must where Lena gets it, Erwin thinks. Imitation, flattery.

Lena tugs on Lupe's hand as she pushes open the door to the foyer. She dashes back to Janice's side, eager. Lupe breaks into a megawatt smile. Between the lapels of her heavily-embroidered blazer hangs a bolo tie of her own, fastened by a piece of green jade.

**

Three days after Lovoff's fire, Kenny found himself in an alley behind one of Lupe's restaurants, digging through the trash in a long, stained shirt that barely kept him decent. When she spotted him, he blanched, convinced his life was over. Levi didn't remember the gray-haired woman from the fringes of the parties. Kenny did.

Two days later, she strode up to him as he washed dishes in the back of the kitchen. "Don't look so glum, gatito," she said. "I got you a better job."

Kenny decided to accept before the short, pale, well-dressed man in the office had even said a word.

"I am getting too old for this," Lupe says as she clinks her crystal champagne glass against Krista's. Liar, Levi thinks; you have the energy of a teenager.

At the end of the parlor, a woman in a sheer black dress plays a grand piano. Erwin thinks it would be beautiful—elegant, even—if not for the conspicuous chain connecting her to it. Little gilded faces stare out from the details of the antique furniture; everything seems to have clawed feet or wings. A girl dressed as a harlequin carrying a tray of glasses stares at Armin and Eren. Between each guest she serves, she turns back to them. A young man stands in the corner, another of Janice's "Egyptians." He wears the same gold dust as Lena, and his linen skirt reaches his knees. But his exposed pale skin is covered in cuts and bruises. His job isn't to serve drinks, Erwin realizes; it's to serve as a warning.

"But I got this little bitch I gotta get rid of," Lupe says. Elena waits in a dark, crowded back room.

"Where from?" Erwin asks.

"Miami." It's technically true. "Gorgeous, but God, she's a piece of work."

Janice sneers. "Sounds like my Flocke."

"You gonna' sell him?" Lupe sips her wine.

Janice squints. "Possibly. But if _this one_ can become a scout," she glances at Levi, "then perhaps there's hope after all." She grabs a full glass from the harlequin's tray. "You better cough up all your secrets," she says coyly to Erwin. She expects a far more elaborate series of scars and burns on Levi. The relative clarity of his skin makes her skeptical, curious about what methods Erwin could have used to subdue him. Everyone has a breaking point, she thinks, glancing at sullen Flocke; it's just a matter of what brings them to it.

"Yeah, he did you right, bringing in these two," Lupe says, looking at the boys. "Not for sale yet, eh?"

"Oh, no. We're still being...socialized," Erwin says. For a shy kid, such an outing could be torment, he implies. He tucks a strand of Armin's hair behind his ear.

"These are the ones you don't sell," Janice says, cocking a thin, painted eyebrow. "I wouldn't give up my Lena for the world." For an instant, Erwin can't tell whether it's maternal warmth lighting up Janice's voice, or excitement at how much income the young woman brings in, rented out hourly for others' gratification.

"Erwin, man of the hour!" Zackley bursts into the parlor in a long white lab coat, flanked by a man in an aubergine suit and a man in a green snakeskin jacket.

Levi sizes up the men, staring coldly, as Zackley animatedly introduces Erwin to them. Arthur, the host, in purple, has a wiry red mustache that demands to be shaved; Cornelius, in green, has about half his teeth and penchant for buying the youngest shifters he can find. To Levi's knowledge, they're the last two people Lovoff spoke to before he died. Levi finds himself creating a barrier between them and the boys.

Arthur pushes open the heavy wooden door and Janice drags Flocke with the group into the crowded ballroom. Flocke brushes Eren's shoulder and scowls. He smells like the doctor, Flocke thinks. "You're not supposed to be here," Flocke says to Armin in a terse whisper. Armin's eyes widen. Does he know?

Flocke glares at Erwin. What kind of sick human brings his own kind into something like this? He looks at the boys again, frustrated; perplexed. And there's something familiar about Erwin he can't quite place.

"Welcome," Arthur says with a wide grin, "to the Cabinet of Curiosities."

Erwin tries to play his disgust off of as being merely unimpressed.

"So, Texas contingent, tell me," says the snakeskin-suited man. "What kinds of things y'all get up to in El Paso."

Erwin and Lupe look at each other and force smiles.

"We have our own kind of rodeo," Erwin says dryly, sipping his drink to a burst of approving laughter. He prays for the cloud of alcohol to descend upon him. He expected the house to be lively. He did not expect it to be packed, the floor teeming with people and animals. Jesus Christ, there's so many of them, he thinks, wishing he could retreat back into the quiet parlor. The thought of seeing a neighbor or former classmate sends a draining sensation through his body. Surely, he thinks, no one from the school would be here; no one would slip past Pixis. Or could they?

The costumes range from no clothing at all to cinema-grade Confederate uniforms. Erwin thinks of the bacchanalias of Ancient Rome, the masses of writhing bodies, fueled by the endless flow of wine. A mezzanine with an iron railing looks over the enormous ballroom. Beneath it, in the host's Bohemian theme, folding screens and hanging tapestries divide the space into 'cabinets,' each one occupied by a different scene, the openings blocked by clusters of onlookers. Armin peers into a cabinet and immediately buries his face in Eren's shoulder, clutching his arm. Between the ornate screens, a man grips a dog's neck, holding her face between a woman's legs.

"Is it true?" The harlequin appears at Armin's side, her voice a frightened whisper.

He turns around, startled.

"The stories," the girl implores. She looks around cautiously. "You're—you're both—"

But Armin and Eren get snatched away for another set of admirers before she can say the word "human."

Three enormous chandeliers illuminate the room. Long sheets of jewel-toned fabric stream from the center of the ceiling to the mezzanine, creating a circus-tent effect. Real candles fill their golden holders on top of marble plinths. "So much fabric, so much fire," Levi whispers to himself, just close enough for Armin to hear. He scans the room for Kenny. Perhaps he's in a back room somewhere, waiting to be sold. The cacophony of currents gives Levi a headache. The weight of Erwin's hand on the back of his neck is comforting, regardless of how the gesture is supposed to look to the others.

Krista loves a costume party and a well-appointed house as much as anyone. But her patience is fragile and thin. "For fuck's sake, just go to Burning Man," she whispers to Erwin with an eye roll. Ymir reaches in her mind for the bird women's currents; even with their noxious, forced bend, they shine like beacons above the density below. She fights to hang onto them, letting the familiar light carry her.

For a moment, Erwin wonders: is this it? Have I walked straight into the mouth of the beast? Some of the others don't recognize Levi: the other out-of-towners mostly. But too many do. There's nothing Erwin can tell them that can't be found in Wikipedia articles on psychological torture. His secret, he insists to his fascinated inquisitors, is time. Patience. Investment. Levi's still, docile nature and the unusually beautiful boys seem evidence enough of the reward. But is it? Erwin prays for the conversations to end, reaching again and again for full glasses. His face is straight, his voice is stern, but his hand sweats against Levi's skin and trembles ever so slightly against the small of Eren's back. Lupe and Krista corroborate his statements. He would be worried for his students' safety if the buyers hadn't made it abundantly clear: property is respected above all else. It's a rotten shame to Krista that here, of all places, people are quick to grant her authority.

They weave through another layer of the crowd to the main attraction: a display of living sculpture. On a platform in the center of the room, a dozen shifters sit or lie on furniture, each one in a state of partial transformation, some clearly struggling to remain still. Erwin's chest feels hollow. Isn't the shift supposed to be horribly painful? And to slow it down—

"Now, I would agree," Zackley says, "that discipline is a science." He draws another series of syringes from his coat. "But this, well, what can I say? _This_ is my art." The use of sedatives is standard practice. But to his knowledge, Zackley is the only one to do so creatively. What's the point of having a shapeshifter, he thinks, if you can't even watch them change?

Erwin doesn't have to feign fascination. Neither he, Krista, nor the boys can tear their eyes away.

Two women sitting above the others turn their heads extremely slowly. Enormous claws extend from their fingers and their feet; rows of feathers line their arms and legs. Ymir stands paralyzed. She would have given anything to see them again—anywhere but here. Jinae climbs to the edge of the platform and kneels in front of Erwin and Levi, smiling at them as if they're old friends, warmed by their light. Zackley is too distracted by her sudden familiar behavior to notice Ragako whispering in Ymir's ear.

"I told you," Ragako says in a language Ymir hasn't heard in years. "You will go through many trials." She kisses Ymir's forehead before Zackley wrenches her away by her feathered arm.

**

Zackley watches his newly sedated sculptures from the mezzanine, gauging the others' reactions. He expects to make a few thousand dollars for each dose of the formula he sells. Janice's eyes follow Erwin as Cornelius leads him and the others through the human exhibitions below. Something isn't right about him. She takes a long drag of her cigarette.

"Well that's interesting," a friend a of Janice's says, looking out over the balcony. "The little blonde one he has with him. He looks just like my nephew."

Zackley and Janice look at each other.

"Really now," Zackley says. "How much so, would you say?"

"Spitting image," the blonde man says, sipping his drink.

"How unusual," Zackley muses. Janice looks grim. They're well aware of the busts that wiped out their predecessors; they had swooped in like vultures to claim the auction's remains for themselves.

"You think he's with the lab?" Janice asks, referring to Erwin.

Zackley turns back to Armin's uncle. "When was the last time you saw your nephew?"

"It's been a few years."

That could explain it, Zackley thinks.

"Flocke!" Janice shouts. He saunters over to her. "What are they? The boys that came with Erwin." Flocke knows they're human, but no one has told him what they claim to be. If he doesn't out them, he'll have to guess; if he guesses wrong, the game is up.

"They're far away, I can't tell—"

Janice pulls at the ends of his sutures. "Are you a scout or not? Look!"

His cry of pain goes unnoticed, mixed in with the noise. He braces himself against the balcony. He catches sight of Erwin instead and remembers: the woman who took in his brother. That's who Erwin reminds him of. He panics.

"What. Are. They." Janice grips a handful of his hair.

"I don't know," Flocke groans. "It's—they're—" he wrenches himself free of her hand. "They're something strange. I don't recognize them. They're like the birds. Something foreign." Please, God, he thinks; please let that be enough to keep their cover.

"Very good," Janice says, her admiration genuine. Why _should_ he be able to recognize their exotic currents, except to know they're neither cats nor dogs? Perhaps Flocke will be more useful than she thought. And perhaps Erwin has what she and Zackley have been looking for. Perhaps, she thinks, Historia took it from Rod. 

If he has it, Zackley thinks, there's no wonder he would cover it up; dress it up with inconsistent stories. Anyone with the ability to turn humans into shapeshifters would likely take that knowledge to the grave.


	47. Rain on the parade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Krista get invited to a private performance at Zackley's house. Levi and Ymir have to figure out how close they can get before they can strike.

The metal-plated bird skull is warm against Armin's back. He sits tense and upright in Erwin's lap, next to Levi on a long divan. Clutching onto Eren, cowering behind Erwin, he hadn’t been too afraid of being touched. But after so many quickly-withdrawing hands and leering eyes, there's a safety to being claimed. Eren sits at Levi's feet and clings to Armin's ankle.

The ballroom opens up into a tall, glassed-in winter garden. At one end stands a platform and a podium. Rows of folding chairs form tight arcs around it. Arthur's guests of honor sit on upholstered furniture up close; everyone watching, everyone on display.

For the sake of Mikasa's privacy, Eren and Armin never watched her shift, except for the day she first appeared. Armin recognizes the static, the change in the air. Before tonight, he'd never seen it start-to-finish. The chattering crowd leans in. The Rotweiler on the block knows the gun in the seller's hand is loaded. He rises up on his hind legs, and suddenly, Armin understands.

The room goes silent. A human figure emerges, pulled from another dimension. It's like catching a glimpse of the first creation, Armin thinks: a rip in the fabric of reality. Horrible and holy. Eren's grip on him tightens.

The young man's eyes plead with the ceiling, his dark skin glistens with sweat. He takes slow, labored, shaking breaths. Short, thick dreadlocks barely meet his shoulders. 

Armin's wide eyes water. He lets them.

Levi sits expressionless and silent. Ymir's silver chains jingle as she brushes a strand of hair from her face. But she, too, looks dryly unamused. Krista stares at the stage, supposed to be looking. She tries to play her astonishment off as amusement.

"Fifteen thousand," calls a hoarse voice from the back.

"Twenty." That one sounds young, Armin thinks.

"Thirty-five." 

"Fifty." Armin flinches at Erwin's voice, loud in his ear. Eren leans against Armin's legs, Levi's fingers drift through Eren's hair. Well, they'd been going for realism. Armin took mental notes, watching how Ymir hovered breathlessly around Krista and gazed at her with rapt devotion as they worked the crowd.

"Sixty," calls a woman's voice. Most of the lower bids are just performance, Ymir told them. Those that can't afford to buy still source and do favors for the privilege of watching. A loyalty perk.

"Seventy five," Krista says. Her voice seems too big for her body.

Armin remembers sitting across from Levi, a small campfire between them—no easy feat with the humidity and rain. He'd only just escaped from this. But he hadn't shooed Armin away or made him go home. He simply made up stories for a curious child's questions. Eventually, long-repressed memories from those years crept back into Armin's awareness. Moments of cowering. But the images of the black cat and the storyteller at the edge of the woods remained clear. Moments he was safe.

Armin's willing to grovel if it helps return the favor. He takes a deep breath and sinks back into Erwin's chest. 

"One hundred thousand."

"One hundred fifty," Erwin says. A few heads turn in his direction. He strokes Armin's hair. The man on the stage looks at Erwin with empty eyes, and Armin feels Erwin contract. He tilts his head back against Erwin's shoulder and exposes his neck, a reminder of the game. He shuts his eyes while Janice's dissect him. 

"One seventy five."

"Two hundred," Krista says. She means to get outbid, but she can afford a new staff member. She wishes she could afford them all.

"Two hundred ten."

"Do I hear two twenty five?" Arthur leans over the podium.

Erwin flinches at the word "sold."

**

A woman with long red hair steps out of a thin white dress. To the boys' amazement, her shift is different; each one is. Fine orange fur spreads from the tips of her fingers and toes to the center of her body. The extra mass of her vanishes into a central point that draws all conversation with it. She sells for a quarter of a million dollars. The expense baffles Armin. But what's a shifter compared to a painting, a watch, a house? Another investment.

"Where the fuck is Elena," Levi whispers. Only a few sales left, but no sign of Kenny. He grips Eren's hair in frustration. When Eren tries to swat his hand away, Levi pushes him to the floor. Krista glares at Levi and pulls Eren over to sit at Ymir's feet instead, and Eren rests his forehead to his knees. Darius watches the little scene with amusement. When Armin leans down to check on Eren, Erwin pulls him back. 

Finally, the shiny black dog appears. Lupe snaps her fingers. The dog stands up; her skin turns from black to gold, her black hair reaches her waist. Bidding starts at seventy five thousand.

"Eighty," Krista calls.

"One hundred." Erwin looks at her and grins. Chatter starts up in the room again.

From the corner of his eye, Armin notices Flocke leaning in the doorframe, scowling. The harlequin girl with her tray of drinks sidles up to him. Flocke waves her away. She tugs his arm and whispers in his ear. Flocke shakes his head. She stamps her foot; he rolls his eyes; she whispers to him again. Then, Flocke turns to Armin, eyes wide. 

Levi reaches for Erwin's hand. Armin gets an idea.

"One seventy five," Janice says. 

"Two hundred." Darius grins.

Armin gazes at Flocke, then turns toward a tall candelabra. Flocke squints. Armin glances back to him, then to the candles again. When Flocke takes a step back, nodding slowly, Armin tries as hard as he can not to smile. He reaches for Eren, and Erwin pulls his wrist away.

"Two seventy five," Erwin says. 

"Three hundred!" Krista plants her hands on her hips.

Levi sniffs the air. Yep. That's smoke.

A series of overhead sprinklers jolts to life, and the screaming crowd scatters like roaches into the dark backyard.

**

Erwin wraps towels around Elena and the shivering boys. No sirens blare, but Armin wonders: the police have auction ties. Does the fire department?

The imposing men in suits and wires scan the property with flashlights. On the soaked marble floor inside, a harlequin dress lies next to a pile of broken glasses.

In the light streaming out from the glassed-in room, Armin notices the injuries on Flocke. If he hadn't been too weak to force the shift, would his costume be lying empty, too?

**

"Your parents are going to kill me," Erwin says. 

"Yes," Levi says, "and you would kneel before them and happily take the bullet to the head." He stirs a packet of sugar into his coffee. Even if the Waffle House did serve tea, Levi wouldn't deign to try it.

They sit in dry clothes in a slightly too-crowded booth. Levi still feels the pressure of the harness from where it bound his skin.

"Do they….need to know?" Eren looks up from the sticky, laminated menu. "Cause I mean…I wasn't going to say anything."

"You never snuck out and did anything when you were a kid?" Levi brushes Erwin's shoulder.

Erwin sinks his face in his hand. "Levi, this is not exactly a joint under the bleachers."

"You know what," Krista says, "I think this whole thing went really well, and I'm just…really proud of all of us."

Ymir grins. "They told me I would meet a peacekeeper."

"What else did they tell you?" Armin asks softly.

Ymir picks up her coffee and sighs. "They said...things would get a whole lot worse before they got better."

"So. On that glowing note.” Levi leans back. “Who wants to call Uri and give him the bad news?" 

"I'll do it," Krista says. "Once we're done eating." 

The waitress sets towers of pancakes in front of them. Even Erwin has ordered a waffle of consolation. Ymir picks up a stick of bacon with her hand. Levi gives her a sidelong glance.

"I can't believe he wasn't even there," Erwin says. 

"Yeah, well, we still got information." Ymir unwraps her silverware. "That counts for something." She pokes at the bacon. "And we put on a damn fine show." She points at the boys with her fork.

Levi shakes his head. "He's either—shit. Ok. He's either already dead, already sold, got out on his own, or too fucked up to shift on command. Or—fuck." He grips the edges of his mug with his fingertips. "Or Zackley wasn't lying about his little breakthrough."

As the crowd on the lawn thinned, Zackley made his move. An invitation to a private show. 

"My latest discovery," he said in a low voice, tapping his fingertips together, "is that the delayed transition continues," he glanced around the yard, "even under anesthesia."

Krista pretended to tend to the boys.

"Have you ever wondered," Zackley asked, "what the transition looks like—from the inside?"

She accepted the invitation on the spot. 

**

"What do you think's going to happen to her?" Armin asks. He slings his bag over his shoulder and digs around for his car keys. The hunt for the harlequin cat was still on when they left.

"I don't know." Levi scratches his neck. "Let's hope the forest has a new queen." He sighs and turns to Eren. "Sorry about your scalp."

"What? Oh. Yeah. No, don't worry about it." Eren shoves his hands in his pockets. 

"Don't apologize, that was perfect," Ymir says. "You know everyone there ate that shit up. Just don't leave marks." She nods toward the porch. Levi follows.

"Don't come to practice tomorrow if you need to rest," Erwin says to the boys. 

"Yeah, we'll just…play it by ear." Eren shrugs. 

"Y'all are sure you're ok with this. With…everything that happened."

"Yeah," Armin says. "I mean," he looks at Eren, "I knew what to expect, so…yeah. It was fine."

Erwin takes a deep breath. "And you're sure ok with tomorrow night--"

"Coach Smith," Eren says. "It's fine."

"--because I don't know what to tell you to expect for that one."

Armin bites his lip. "We'll figure it out."

Erwin nods. “Levi. You ready?”

Ymir claps him on the shoulder. They walk back down to the cars.

**

Armin parks in his grandfather’s driveway. Even his dwindling hearing will pick up the sound of the garage door. Armin taps in the code on the alarm by the front door and trudges up the stairs with Eren. They drop their bags on the floor of Armin’s room, and Armin collapses onto the bed, rubbing his eyes. Eren lies on his side next to him.

“Every one of them looks just like us,” Armin whispers.

“What are you talking about?”

Armin turns to him, his eyes stinging. “The shifters there. They were all our age, weren’t they. Or close.”

“Yeah. I guess they were.” Eren lays his hand on Armin’s chest. The bird women were an exception. The boys wondered how often a shifter made it past thirty. Or were they simply retired from display?

“Every single one of them…they’re all just another Bert or Reiner. Or Mikasa.”

“Yeah,” Eren draws himself closer. “It makes you wonder…what they’re really like.”

Armin rolls over and buries his face in Eren’s chest. Hearing the stories is one thing. Seeing them for yourself is another, he thinks. 

“Armin? Are you ok?”

Armin nods. Eren’s shirt is moist with tears.

“I’m fine. It’s not me I’m worried about.”

**

Levi pours himself a cup of tea and sits next to Erwin in bed. “I shouldn’t give you such a hard time about it.”

“About what?”

“Not wanting to do all this.” He leans his head against Erwin’s shoulder. 

Erwin wants to say it’s ok. But he also doesn’t want to lie.

“You have something a lot of people don’t.” Levi sips the still-scalding liquid. “Humanity. It makes it difficult.”

“Yeah, well.” Erwin sinks down a little. 

The flickering begins. Levi continues to sip his drink.

“Are you…holding it off?” Erwin asks.

“Tch.” Levi smiles. “I’m not going to waste a perfectly good cup of tea.” 

“All right, just don’t hurt yourself.” Erwin sets his alarm and slides his arm over Levi’s buzzing shoulders.

Finally Levi sets the cup on the night table. He crawls into Erwin’s lap. “No one has helped me the way you have.”

Erwin kisses the top of Levi’s head and switches off the light. 

“I don’t think even Farlan could have helped me like this,” Levi whispers. 

Erwin runs his hand down Levi’s back. “Levi…what did Ymir say to you on the porch?”

“Oh.” The air crackles. “It was, uh…about the birds.” Levi rakes his hand through his hair, his eyes looking gold from the resonance. “They don’t…really do things the way humans do. They, uh…scan you. In a way you can feel. Well. If you’re a shifter.” Levi lets himself shift before Erwin can ask him more questions.

**

It wouldn’t have been a Smith family Christmas without gifts of liquor and ammunition. Whiskey from Erwin’s uncles stands proudly on a shelf in the living room. The 9-millimeter Smith & Wesson handgun they gave him lies discreetly in its locked drawer.

“How many enemies do you think I have?” He asked, laughing as he unwrapped the box.

More than I could have imagined, he thinks now, unlocking the desk. God help me. He slides the gun into its holster and lays it in the glovebox of the car. For good measure, he adds a wooden casket of 20 year Ptarmigan scotch that cost nearly as much as the gun.

Levi the cat is skittish and shy in the morning. Erwin kneels down and finds him under the coffee table. “Levi. I’m heading out.” He reaches under and the cat tentatively rubs his head against Erwin’s hand. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Erwin starts the car and glances at himself in the rearview mirror. “What the fuck am I doing,” he says to himself.

**

“Ymir, don’t. It’s too obvious.” Marco plants his hands on the bar. “You cannot ask Jean to come with you to this.”

“Oh, come on—“

“Ymir!” Marco leans across to her. “It’s not going to work, and you know it. You can’t get Jean involved with this.”

Ymir rolls her eyes.

“Seriously. Zackley talks to Jean the whole night about how he’s got this whole ‘fascination with horses’ lately?” Marco makes air quotes and sneers. “And then Jean just—shows up? With Krista?” He shakes his head and wipes down another section of the bar. “Give me a fucking break.”

“You sound just like him today,” Ymir says. She chuckles. “I didn’t come down here to get your permission, you know. I came to run an idea past you.”

“Yeah, well, one, permission denied, and two,” he glares at her, “it’s a shitty idea.”

Ymir crosses her arms. “I don’t think you realize,” she says quietly, “how important it is to get the avians out of there. I don’t think you understand—“

“Oh, I think I do.” Marco slaps the towel down. “I think I do, Ymir. I get it. They’re important to you. Well you know what? Jean’s important to me—“

“Marco—“

“Ymir, this whole—shitshow, last week? This is not the first time I’ve escaped from the auction, you know!” Marco’s eyes fill with tears. “Ok? My parents got taken, trying to get Lily and me out. I never saw them again. I don’t even know if they’re alive!” He throws his hands up. “So you want to tell me I don’t know? You think I don’t know what it’s like to have somebody you’d do anything to see again? To see them alive?” He rests his elbows against the bar, his face in his hands.

“All right, fine. Marco, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t need to know.” He grabs a paper towel and wipes his face. “Ymir. I want to help you with this, ok? I really do, I swear. But just…not like this.”

“It’s all right. It’s fine. I’m sorry.” Ymir spots Jean’s silhouette in the bright door frame. “I’ll do it myself.”


	48. Inferno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos ensues when Zackley doesn't get the answers he wants from Krista and Erwin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I was wrong; *this* was the most difficult chapter to write. As you can probably guess, there is blood and gore and fighting. But the good news is that the rest of the fic from here on out is lots of hurt/comfort and more domestic fluff. So, stay tuned for more of that.

"Wait a second," Mikasa says at the lunch table, setting down her carton of lemonade. "Didn't you guys have a team dinner last night, too?"

"Oh, yeah," Eren says. "But that was a whole team thing. Connie's just...having the guys over tonight."

Hitch gives him a sidelong glance. "He told me he was taking Sasha to the Cheesecake Factory."

Mikasa rolls her eyes. "Oh my god, Eren. If you two want to go at it, can't you just do that at Armin's?"

Armin's face flushes. A moment of silence.

"Wait." Mikasa looks at Hitch, then at the boys. "What are you two up to?"

Eren and Armin look at each other.

"Oh come on," Hitch says. "Tell us."

"You don't want to know," Armin says quietly.

"Uh, yeah, I think I do," Hitch says with a little grin.

"We're...filming a porno," Eren says.

Armin lays his face in his hands and Hitch laughs out loud.

"No you aren't," Mikasa snaps at Eren.

"Um, no...we are," Eren says, his voice cracking. "It's, well, uh, it's...for some film students at SCAD." The local art college had a reputation for churning out experimental work, some of dubious quality.

"Eren. For fuck's sake. Just tell me," Mikasa says.

"Ok," he says, sighing. He looks around the cafeteria. "But not here."

**

Kate the receptionist senses it before she hears it: a current of fury in an empty classroom across from her office.

"Eren, what the hell were you thinking?" Mikasa holds him up by his shirt collar. "Are you trying to get us all killed or thrown in prison?! Are you crazy?!"

"Mika, I'm sorry—"

"Mikasa, it was Levi's idea!" Armin shouts. "Ok? We're doing this to help Levi! And Ymir. All right?"

Mikasa drops Eren who staggers back into the wall, his white uniform shirt wiping a few equations off the white board. She screams in frustration and turns for the door.

Armin snatches her wrist. "Mikasa, you can't tell anyone, please—"

She flings her arm out of Armin's grip.

"Mikasa!" He grabs her shoulders.

She hasn't seen this pleading look since they were children.

**

The scrape of Erwin's metal spoon against the bottom of the worn-out porcelain coffee cup is loud in the empty teacher's lounge. He's on cup number nine, and it's barely past lunchtime.

Mike gives him a suspicious glance when he walks in. "You all right? Levi been keeping you up all night?"

"You could say that," Erwin says, not making eye contact.

Mike crosses his arms. The bell rings. Erwin nods and ducks out before Mike can ask questions. But there will be no avoiding the man who can smell bullshit a mile away.

When Erwin steps into the hall, a fuming Mikasa storms past him. Not uncommon to see a student upset, but alarming in one so stoic. "Mikasa?"

She turns around for a second, face glistening with tears. She keeps walking.

**

Levi stares at the laptop screen and forces himself to concentrate. Word by word, line by line, he inches his way through his chapter. He hears Uri's car pull up in the driveway and becomes aware of the fermenting dread in his body again.

Uri hasn't smelled like cigarette smoke in many years. He looks older, Levi thinks. They drive quietly.

"We tried to flush him out," Levi says eventually. "One of the kids set some curtains on fire, set everybody running. Still nothing." Armin admitted his strategy after the fact.

Uri nods. "I knew this day would come," he says after a few moments. "But no matter how many times I try to picture it, nothing ever prepares you."

"Tch. Once is bad enough without rehearsing it in your head a million times. Surprised Kenny didn't get on you about that."

"He does. You know, If I could switch it off, I would."

Levi turns up the air conditioning. "So what are you going to do if we can't find him?"

Uri shakes his head. "Pull a Lupe, I guess. Learn to play the game. Look for him myself," he says. "If you and the wolf can't get him, then I don't have great hope for me." He merges onto the highway. "But I got some new guys working for me. I'm sure they got connections. I come around saying I want to invest in something, they'll get the hint." He sinks back into his seat. "But that's the clean answer," he says, cracking a smile. "The truth is...I don't know."

**

Ymir draws two new harnesses from a bag. These are for the boys. They take them into Krista's room to change.

"Tell me you get some kind of member discount for these," Levi says. He pulls a thin mesh shirt over his own, partly covered by his dark jeans.

"We got a punch card," she says with a smirk. "The next one's free." The red patent leather straps of her harness emerge from the top of her strapless red sundress, making her look to Levi like a pin-up gone wrong. When Krista walks in, her floral yellow number makes it all make more sense. A garden party from hell. The women in the auction seem to have a thing for forcing their shifters into matching getup, like children.

Levi sits next to Erwin on the couch. Erwin hasn't said much since he arrived. Levi reaches over and adjusts the bolo tie, gleaming against Erwin's steel gray shirt. Erwin just blinks slowly, quiet. Levi pours them each a glass of iced tea. Erwin doesn't pick his up.

"You think they're actually going to show us a surgery?" Erwin finally says, breaking the silence. The boys step back into the room, the dark bands of their harnesses just visible under their pastel shirts and khaki shorts.

"I wouldn't put it past them," Ymir says. She shuts her eyes again as Krista delicately draws on her liquid eyeliner.

"Why would they do that?" Armin asks, reaching for the pitcher. "I mean...what would be the point? Besides just to watch it?"

"I think he means to start a breeding operation," Ymir says. Krista dusts her face with powder.

"That doesn't already exist?" Erwin picks up the tea, and Levi feels a little wave of relief.

"If it did, we'd be a hell of a lot less expensive," Ymir says. "Oh, people have tried. But the result is more entertainment than profit. It's almost impossible to breed shifters."

"Oh god. He's going to try to do it surgically." Armin sits down next to Levi.

Ymir shakes her head. Krista rifles through her makeup bag for the right shade of lipstick to go with Ymir's dress. "I think he means to manipulate the current," Ymir says. "Like he did for all the halfway-transformations. That's the hard part."

"What do you mean?" Eren asks.

Ymir shrugs. "Well, a shifter woman can get pregnant, it's not that difficult. But you have to be at least somewhat stable, otherwise you just miscarry. And you have to have two currents. Three, if there's twins. It's actually incredibly stabilizing. Actually...it's kind of awesome to see it." Ymir reminisces for a moment, thinking of Jinae, pregnant with her second daughter. "But you have to sort of...invite it in. You call it in. The other current I mean. So, you can see why a lot of people wouldn't."

This time it's Levi who goes silent. When he climbs into the car, he sinks his face in his hand.

"What is it?" Erwin asks, his throat dry.

Levi shakes his head. "I never knew about that. About 'inviting it in.'" Levi draws his knees to his chest. "My mother told me my dad was another shifter. Somebody she wanted to remember. I never believed her, though. I thought she was just lying to spare my feelings. I mean, hell, you've seen what they do to people. I figured...I was the product of that."

A draining sensation passes through Erwin. Then, he feels suddenly galvanized. He reaches over and strokes Levi's hair for a minute. "Let's go find out what these people can do," he says. "And then, let's take it away." He starts the car.

**  
"Wait a second," Ymir says as they approach Zackley's house. "No, wait. Stop the car."

"What's wrong?" Krista stops. Erwin catches up and stops behind her.

"There are two more people in the house." Ymir shuts her eyes to concentrate.

"But he said Janice and Flocke were coming, right?" Krista fidgets.

"No, I mean besides them." Ymir takes a deep breath. "There's—ok, there's Zackley and the avians. Kenny in the basement. Flocke and Janice. And. Oh. Fuck."

"What?" Krista grips the steering wheel.

"They weren't here the other night." Ymir opens her eyes, glazed forward. "Why are they here?"

"Ymir? What's wrong? Who are they?"

"One is a dog," she says. "The other..." she squints. "I don't know. I can't tell."

Krista rolls down her window and waves Erwin over.

**

Zackley's house stands at the end of a heavily-wooded neighborhood, far from the main road. The dense trees create veils of privacy. The Federal-style house sits atop a large basement sunk halfway into the ground, its small windows dark.

Erwin switches off his phone and leaves it in the El Camino's glovebox. He pulls out the casket of scotch. This fucking car, he thinks.

Janice and Zackley greet them with a gushing reception at the top of the stairs to the front door. The last of the evening light fades through the trees and Erwin fights to keep his focus on the hosts, not the profusion of animal trophies that occupy every room. All manner of horned creatures line the ceilings. A chandelier made of antlers hangs in the living room, above a rug that Erwin fears was once a bear. Fluffy sheepskins line the couches and chairs. At least Arthur had decent taste, if on a flamboyant scale, Erwin thinks. He wonders what Petra and Oulo would think of Zackley's pet cemetery.

"My, what a—gathering," Krista says with a little laugh. She walks with her arm in Ymir's.

The pit bull clings to Zackley, watching the visitors nervously, never leaving his side. Ymir glances at him and lets her eyes flash yellow to establish her dominance. He lets a out a high, strained whine.

"Don't be nervous, Jasper," Zackley says. "You'll have to forgive him, he's not used to company," he says to Erwin and Krista.

The casualness of it all almost makes Erwin laugh. At what point, Erwin wonders, is he going to mention that the dog is an adult man? Or is this one that he doesn't show off for a reason?

Erwin spots a stuffed owl with outstretched wings, hung in the corner like an icon. He wonders which of the ostentatious trophies could have been human once themselves. "You'll have to get me your taxidermist's card," he says.

Zackley beams. "No need," he says. "Most of these were done by Janice." He leads them onto a patio. Tall wooden torches at the corners fend off bugs. Flocke sits staring into the woods at the edge of the yard, in a linen shirt and seersucker shorts. When the others take their places at the iron table, he turns around slowly. He looks at Erwin with a searching, pained expression. From the difficulty of his movement, Erwin wonders what dosage of tranquilizers he was given, how long it will take for the dog to emerge in the boy's place.

The tall, bald man brings out crystal glasses on a tray for Erwin's scotch. In his black button down shirt, he looks almost normal. But the ends of scars and brands peek out from beneath his cuffs. Erwin pretends not to notice as Janice and Zackley fawn over the label on the gleaming amber bottle.

**

"Well of course, Audrey and I always loved animals," Zackley says, smiling at his dog. He had mentioned his late wife a few times in passing.

Eren and Armin feigned elation at the prospect of throwing Jasper a tennis ball: their reward instead of alcohol. They run with him in the long stretch of manicured grass. Flocke sits at the edge of the patio and watches, his body heavy and aching, his thoughts on his brother. The other bull sits next to Zackley at the table, silent. He sips the scotch slowly and delicately like a holy nectar. The glass looks comically small in his massive hand.

"These two we found on a farm outside Darien," Zackley says. The small town isn't far from Marco's family's hotel. "Chained up in a barn, can you believe it?" He reaches for the bottle and refills his glass with a sumptuous nod in Erwin's direction. "Left to die. I can't in my right mind believe anyone could let these two go to waste."

The bull inclines his head, reverent.

"Now, at first we thought it was a dog fighting ring," Zackley says. "But whoever it was left a whole mess of other stuff; stuff I could never figure out. Carvings, drawings, real strange stuff. David, show them."

The man unbuttons his cuff and rolls up his sleeve. Ymir's eyes widen. She thought all of the nations of the south had been wiped out, except for Jean's herd, perhaps. The fading tattoos across his arm are the marks of a holy man, a priest. The layers of brands streaked across them are the marks of a traitor of the highest order, someone cast out. Younger, fresher scars interrupt them.

"When we found them, Jasper was still in his dog form, and David here was human. And then," Zackley smiles with a pride one reserves for one's children, "David turned into the most magnificent longhorn bull I'd ever seen. I'll never forget it. Audrey saw him, and it was just love at first sight, you know. We knew we had to have them both."

The scotch is suddenly tasteless in Erwin's mouth. He nods along and glances at the man. Did he change deliberately, Erwin wonders, or was it simply chance that he was found at that point of the cycle? And what would have been the point? A plea for help? Or a suicide attempt?

Krista pours Ymir another glass of prosecco, but insists on a kiss before she gives it to her.

"Remind me," Erwin says, "what your wife did again?"

"Equine medicine," Zackley says.

"When did she pass?" Krista asks softly.

"About three years ago," Zackley says plainly. "It was a car accident. She didn't die right away, though the complications were what took her." He looks into the distance, his voice strangely light. "We thought she'd have longer to live. She wasn't...quite...herself, afterward." He looks at the shifters at the table. "I suppose...a major injury can do that."

Erwin finds Zackley's expression unnerving.

Janice breaks the silence that follows. "That miss Audrey. One of my dearest friends. Never turned down a challenge," she says. She taps her menthol cigarette over an ashtray made of carved bone. "Getting these two back to social was no walk in the park, I'll tell you that much. They're perfect angels now, but it sure took a few years. We're still not sure Jasper will ever be verbal again."

"People lack patience," Zackley says, his voice normal again. He looks at the sky. "People don't want to...invest in things anymore." He shakes his head. "The one piece of advice I give more than any other. Patience, patience, patience."

"Truly," Erwin says, stroking Levi, who sips his drink silently, mostly watching the boys.

Jasper runs up to Janet, panting happily, deprived of a tail to wag. The boys follow behind.

"You want water?" Erwin asks. They nod. "Levi—"

"No, no," Zackley says, and motions for Levi to sit back down. "Please. David?"

The huge man gets up to retrieve a pitcher and more glasses. Armin and Eren sit at the edge of the grass, a respectful distance from Flocke.

"It's amazing what you can train them to do," Janice says. "Such intelligent animals."

Zackley's stories of rehabilitating the bulls are almost touching. Almost. Zackley recounts with delight how willingly the two men became his research subjects. "Of course, when Audrey passed, we were all devastated. They wanted to do whatever they could to help."

Erwin drapes his arm across Levi's shoulders. To help, he thinks, or to avoid whatever torment Audrey's presence might have spared them?

"It's getting dark," Janice says. "Let's move inside." The end of her cigarette glows in the low light.

"David," Zackley says. "Bring the birds up. Give them their shots if they need them."

**

Jasper lays at Janice's feet. She sits next to Zackley on one of two plush leather couches that face each other in the living room. A glass coffee table with gold edges separates them; an elaborately carved ivory tusk on a glass stand occupies its center. Next to it lies a zippered nylon case that Levi knows is filled with syringes. The bird women sitting on the armrests wear no clothes, their mostly human bodies covered in feathers, their movements slow and strained. A huge antique mirror occupies the wall behind them. Zackley's small shrine to Audrey stands on the mantlepiece above the dark fireplace to the side.

"I realize this is quite forward of me," Zackley says, "and I'm personally quite quick to show off my work," he looks the boys up and down, now freed from their shirts. "But as you know," he taps his fingertips together, "exotics like your boys, are simply, well. A once in a lifetime find." His smile is yellow. "It would be such a shame...not to see both of their forms."

"I'm afraid that won't be happening," Erwin says.

"Really." Zackley cocks his head.

"We have other clients for them later," Krista says.

Good save, Levi thinks.

"I see," Zackley says.

"We're getting close to the end of a three day cycle," Krista says. "We don't want to risk it."

"Three days?" Janice raises an eyebrow and scratches Jasper's head. "I'm impressed."

And skeptical, Levi realizes.

"Tell me, if you don't mind my asking," Zackley says, "how much is your client paying for the two of them?"

Krista balks at the forwardness of the question.

"Just one," Erwin says. "Whichever one is the least well behaved."

"Right. Of course. Then for the one."

Krista folds her arms. "I don't understand why you're asking—"

"You see," Zackley's impatience strains his syrupy politeness, "Janice and I would very, very much like to see this. Now I don't think it's an unreasonable request—"

"You literally just said it was forward of you," Levi sneers.

Erwin grips his neck. "You will speak when you are spoken to," he says.

"Who's the client? Cornelius?" Janice asks.

Krista draws back. "I don't see how that's important—"

"How about this. How much do you want. Three thousand? Four thousand? Five? We don't even need to touch them," Janice says, her voice hoarse. "If they get destabilized then I'm sure your client will...understand."

"This is not something we discussed," Erwin says firmly. "Now that's a very generous offer, but we are going to stick with our original plan. Speaking of which, I believe you had something you wanted to show us."

"We were just getting to that," Janice says. Her eyes dart to Flocke.

So that's why he's here, Levi thinks. They weren't planning on using Kenny at all.

"Now you see, Erwin," Zackley leans across the reflective table, "I would very, very much like to show you what I've been working on. I don't share my research with just anyone, surely you know that. But you see...I need something from you in return." He pauses and turns to Janice. He sits back into the deep couch. "Now, about a week ago, a friend of ours had plans to initiate his nephew," he says. Levi does not like this sudden change in strategy. "But you know how teenagers can be. You tell them to do something, they simply refuse. You can't get a hold of him. Such a shame, given how smart he is, or so they tell me. Now...don't you think that's a bit of a strange coincidence, Armin?"

Armin sits frozen at Krista's feet.

"His name is Devin." Krista feigns confusion.

"Yes, but only here," Zackley says. "When did you change it?"

"What are you talking about?" Erwin says.

"This is what I need from you, Erwin." Zackley's eyes narrow. His laugh is high pitched. He gets up and pulls a locked wooden box from a shelf on the wall.

"Darius...What are you doing?" Janice's voice is almost a whisper.

"When Audrey had her wreck," he says, setting the box on the coffee table, "strange things began to happen." His voice creaks. "She...began to change." He pulls a set of keys from his pocket. "I brought her home. She could barely speak. She could barely walk. And then, she began to turn into a dog." He slips a small gold key into the lock. "This went on for months. I tried to find answers, but human Audrey couldn't give them to me." He rests his hands on the lid. "I left one day to run an errand. Twenty minutes. Surely, she'd be fine. Alone for twenty minutes!" He looks up at Erwin, his eyes ablaze. "And Audrey...barely mobile Audrey...went and drowned herself in the bathtub." He lifts the lid off the box. "I left my job in research. I worked as a coroner for years, but nothing." Zackley pulls a pearl-handled pistol from the box and contemplates it. "In my entire life," he flicks off the safety, "I have only ever seen one human who became a shapeshifter. And that was my Audrey." Zackley points the gun at Armin. "So you see, Erwin, if you've made this young man into a shapeshifter, well. I would very, very much like to know how you did that."

Krista draws Erwin's gun from her silk clutch and cocks it. "Don't you fucking dare."

In the split second Zackley's eyes turn to Krista, Levi jumps. Zackley's bullet grazes the top of his shoulder and takes a chunk of collarbone with it.

"Levi!" Erwin shouts.

The room is ablaze in currents and screaming. Not now, Levi thinks, the blistering pain splitting open his spine. He forces the plane of his current forward and swipes at Zackley's startled face. David the bull lurches toward Krista. Ymir lunges at his throat, fangs and claws at the ready.

Zackley drops his gun when Levi kicks him into the mirror behind them. Armin grabs the pistol, but Jasper leaps at him. His jaws sink into Armin's side. Eren grabs the gun and chucks it as hard has he can into the dining room, smashing the glass door of a case of china. In a flash of static, Jinae forces her own current against the effect of the sedative. She grips the dog's head with a talon-heavy hand and wrenches him away from Armin, her claws sunk deep into his skull. Eren pulls Armin into the corner. The dog thrashes in Jinae's grip, pulling her with him. Erwin grabs the ivory tusk from the table and plunges it into the dog's chest.

Zackley stands up from the pile of shattered glass. Erwin turns around punches him in the face. Zackley slices up his hands when he tries to get up again, delirious.

"Go find Kenny!" Krista screams at the boys.

A semi-human Flocke catches Janice's ankle as she tries to flee. His hands are quickly turning into paws. Armin, gripping his bleeding side, grabs a piece of the mirror and slashes Janice's calf. Flocke jumps and seizes her neck. The boys sprint to the garage. A crowbar hangs from a hook near a pristine tool bench. Eren grabs it and they run to the basement.

Ymir pins the bull to the ground, by now fully wolf. His face is a mess of blood. He flips over on top of her—unable to see, but able to force his shift.

No, Levi thinks. He's going to try to crush her. "Krista, the glass!" Levi screams.

She puts her hand inside her purse like a glove. She grabs a long crescent and swipes at the bull's legs, down his back, across the back of his neck. But the air crackles and the deep cuts cover over in thick, dense hair while Erwin and Levi search frantically for the remaining gun. Zackley has pushed himself up again. He crawls around the couch to the coffee table and opens the zippered case. One full syringe remains. Zackley drags himself behind Levi and plunges the syringe into Levi's leg.

Levi screams. He kicks Zackley into the corner and slashes open his throat.

"We can't get the door open!" Eren shouts from the basement.

"Go!" Levi shouts to Erwin. The tranquilizer spreads through his body like ice. No. Not now. Not here, Levi thinks. Zackley splutters a cough and Levi hacks into his face with his claws.

Erwin grabs the crowbar from Eren and beats the loosening deadbolt until the door comes open. He bolts back up the stairs.

Jinae, Ragako, and Flocke try to push the bull off of Ymir, the semi-human figure bursting from his clothes. Erwin spots the handle of his gun peeking out from beneath the skirt of the couch and grabs it. The bull falls onto his side. Erwin plants the gun between it's eyes and fires.

The wolf's body lies contorted, but conscious. The avians lay their hands on her and the human woman emerges in the bloody remains of the dress and the harness. Eren and Armin drag Kenny's unconscious, semi-human body up the stairs.

Krista grabs her keys from the glass-covered carpet and mashes them into Eren's hand. "Get him into the car, then come help me with Ymir and the others."

"We have to get out of here," Erwin says. "Somebody will have heard those gunshots."

"No," Levi gasps, forcing his vocal cords to stay put, fighting the shift and the formula. "We have to burn it."

Krista turns to him.

"The gas line," he chokes more than says.

Krista rips open Janice's purse on the dining room table and flings out items until she finds it: her monogrammed silver cigarette lighter. She runs to the kitchen and turns on the gas stove, all six burners on high.

Eren and Armin carry Ymir to the Escalade. They lay her in the back next to Kenny. Flocke jumps in behind her. The bird women drag themselves through the front door and collapse into the backseat.

Erwin catches Levi as he starts to lose consciousness. His body is slippery with blood. The eyes of the bull's carcass glow amber. A dead man lies in the pool of the pitbull's blood, his long, ratty blonde hair soaking it up, his half-open eyes glowing green. Krista jams the key to the fireplace into the socket. She wrenches it open to turn on the gas.

"Torch it," Levi gasps.

Krista flicks the lighter. She and Erwin run.

"Levi? Levi, stay with me." Erwin lays Levi's head in his lap. He slams the car door shut and hunts for his keys. "Come on, Levi, stay with me." He starts the car. When he looks up, a brilliant column of flame engulfs the house in front of him. Krista turns her car around and pulls away. Erwin rests his hand on Levi's chest, his shallow breaths now imperceptible. "Levi? Levi!" Erwin jerks the car into reverse, the house glowing bright in his mirrors. He steps on the gas and careens down the long, winding driveway after Krista. "Come on, Levi, please—stay with me. Please. I love you." A faint blue glow shines out from Levi's eyelids.


	49. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a quiet night at the clinic until Krista and Erwin arrive. Ragako tells Erwin about the origin of his resonance with Levi.

Erwin tears out of the dark neighborhood and onto the highway. He's lost sight of Krista, but they're headed for the same place. From a distance, Erwin hears a siren. Flashing lights appear. His chest clenches. His hands on the steering wheel are covered in Levi's blood.

The ambulance blazes past him and swings into a different neighborhood.

In his rear view mirror, Erwin swears he can see a plume of gray smoke against the black sky. Levi's head is heavy in his lap, his body warm but still.

**

It's a quiet night at the clinic. Annie stirs a packet of sugar into her tea and flips the page of her book. She runs her hand through a sleeping Reiner's fur.

Then she hears it in the distance. Noise like she hasn't heard in years. Then she sees it in her mind's eye. Light like she's never seen before in her life. Like the wolf, but brighter. Stranger. She jumps up and runs to the back door.

Ymir's blood forms great red blooms on Krista's yellow dress. Krista wrenches open the back hatch of the car. Annie stands frozen at the sight. Ragako steps out, naked, fully human; the white owl Jinae perches on her arm.

Dr. Dreyse grips Annie's shoulder. "Get the boys," she says. "And call Doctor Rheinberger. And Doctor Jaeger."

Annie nods, eyes still wide, and turns on her heel.

"Guys? Guys!" She shouts into the break room. "Break's over. We need you human. Now."

Reiner grumbles. Annie fumes. She kicks him in the side.

"How you do not even fucking hear it? Oh my god, guys, come on! It's Ymir! Let's go!"

Gurneys clatter in the hallway. Reiner nearly collides with a blood-spattered Armin, still in a harness.

"Armin? What the—"

Eren pulls Armin into the crowded examination room before he can speak. Flocke whimpers and scampers in behind them, freed from the effect of the tranquilizer.

Bert stands in the door frame. Reiner looks over his shoulder into the parking lot at the gruesome pietà: Erwin carrying Levi's body, the light around them bright enough for even the untrained boys to see.

**

Levi straightens his cravat. His suit is freshly pressed, his shoes shine. He pushes open the heavy wooden door to the Viennese coffee house. The sound of a piano drifts over the noise of the room.

"Levi?" Kuchel stands up from the little marble table and embraces him. She wears her peony corsage on her wrist. "We got the flowers you sent. But we weren't expecting you so soon. Have a seat."

Josephine's azaelas are pinned to her dress, fluttering slightly from the movement of her lace fan.

"Where are Farlan and Isabel?" Levi pulls out a wooden chair with gold, clawed feet.

"Ordering cake," Josephine says. A line of guests in colorful clothes peers into a long glass case filled with desserts. "If we'd known you were coming, we'd have gotten you something."

**

Ragako blocks the middle of the hallway, a spare sheet draped around her like a toga. Jinae sits on her shoulder. Ragako holds up her hand. Reiner, Erwin, and Bert stand stunned and speechless. She points to an empty exam room.

"Take him there," she says, her voice almost a whisper, her accent unplaceable.

The owl flashes her eyes and the boys obey, rolling Levi into the little room.

Ragako lays her long, elegant hand on Levi's chest. "You must not operate on him," she says to a sweat-drenched Bert. "He is holding on. You must not make him leave. You must wait."

Erwin's heavy breathing fills the room. Levi's eyes still glow.

"Tell the medicine woman she must wait," Ragako says to the boys. They realize she means Dr. Dreyse and back hesitantly out of the room. She reaches for Erwin's hand and lays it on Levi, resting her fingers on top of his. "You were like him once," she says. She considers Erwin for a moment, her dark eyes shining. "In some other life. You were one of the two-bodied ones." Her smile is bright. "It is why he feels at home with you." She shuts her eyes and breathes deeply. "Perhaps he will come home to you now."

The owl extends her wing. Ragako plucks a long white feather from it. She dips it in the pool of Levi's blood and draws a large spiral on his chest. Then she draws long lines through it. Cords.

"He does not want to go," Ragako says. She runs her finger underneath Levi's glowing eyes. "He is far away. If you did not stay with him, he would have left already."

Erwin can't bring himself to speak.

"Close your eyes." Ragako presses her hand to Erwin's chest. "What do you see?"

Colorful lines extend in all directions in Erwin's vision. Erwin starts, but the words don't arrive.

"Do you see the cords?"

"Yes." Erwin's voice is hoarse and weak.

"Do you see the one that leads to him?"

"Yes." Erwin sees a gold-colored thread, turning as if in two directions at once.

"Hold onto it," Ragako says.

Erwin watches the cord. The other glowing threads begin to dim. The space around him becomes darker. Erwin begins to hear music, the sound of a piano. Voices. Someone is speaking German. He doesn't understand the conversation.

"He is too far away for you to go to him," Ragako says, her voice soft. "You cannot leave your body. So we shall ask Ymir to go for you."

A bright figure appears in the darkness. Erwin tries to look at it.

"No, you must not let go," Ragako says. "Hold onto the cord." She begins to speak in a language Erwin has never heard. The cord begins to open up. A vortex appears. The figure steps into it.

**

Ymir walks up to the marble table. She wears a long black velvet gown covered with hundreds of tiny gold stars. She carries a rotary telephone on a round gold tray.

"Herr Ackerman?" She bends slightly over the table. "Forgive me for interrupting. There is a call for you."

"A call?" Josephine says, setting down her teacup. "Here? Then it must be important."

Farlan squeezes Levi's hand under the table. "Levi," he says. "You should take it."

Levi stands up and looks at the yellow-eyed woman.

"Do you remember who I am?" she asks.

"Yes," he whispers. He picks up the receiver. On the other end, he hears a conversation. At first the words make no sense. It's all in English, the accent unusual.

"Isn't that progress?" a man's voice says.

"I guess. Yeah." Levi recognizes the voice as his own.

"That's good," says the other man. "We'll start with that. If you're at zero, then we'll just start with that. Things are gonna' get better, ok? I promise. Nothing's gonna' be like it was. Everything's gonna' be better from here on out."

"I hate this," Levi hears his own voice say.

"What?"

"You always having to take care of me."

"You have no idea how much you being here does for me," the man says.

"Do you remember the man on the other end of the line?" Ymir asks.

Levi nods. The coffee house goes quiet. It fades away. The space around Levi and Ymir is dark.

"You don't have to go, you know," Ymir says. Her star-covered dress is gone. She stands in her ancestral furs, her body painted with the markings of a holy woman.

Levi remains in his fine black suit. "I know," he says.

"Do you want to come back?"

"Yes," Levi says.

"Then follow me." The phone has vanished from the tray. The little tray glows. Ymir hangs it in the air, like a sun in a dark sky. It begins to rotate and expand. A vortex. Ymir steps into it.

Levi looks over his shoulder. From across a great chasm, silhouetted figures wave to him. He waves back. He steps into the vortex.

**

Armin winces as Grisha cleans the bite in his side. He shuts his eyes, not wanting to see the surgical needle in Grisha's hand.

"You are going to come back here," Grisha says to Eren, who sits shirtless across from them, the unfastened straps of the harness hanging at his sides, "and you are going to help Doctor Dreyse clean cages and wash bedding."

Armin's body goes rigid as Grisha begins the sutures.

"For the next six weekends," Grisha says. "You are going to come here, and you are going to clean up shit."

Eren is too tired to protest.

"And you," Grisha says, resting his hand on Armin's shoulder, "are not allowed to help him."

**

Levi blinks slowly. He gazes up at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused. Then he scowls.

"Where the fuck are we," he groans. "Erwin. Erwin, what the fuck happened to my shoulder..." Levi coughs, then leans over the edge of the gurney. He vomits onto the floor, narrowly missing Ragako's feet. "Erwin...why is there an owl here?" He rolls onto his back again. "Mother of god. Somebody get me a fucking cup of tea."

"He is back," Ragako says, smiling. The owl fluffs up contentedly.

"Sir?" Bertolt's voice calls from the hallway. "Sir, you're not supposed to go back there—"

Uri flings open the door to the exam room. "Good. You're alive. Now where the hell is my cat?"


	50. Reconnection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: The Birds are Back in Town. Levi learns a new strategy in his fight for stability. Unexpected good news is waiting for him when he wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes even I can't stand the pace at which this story creeps along. I used to get irritated with writers who would make these self-deprecating comments to go with their work—until I tried writing myself. Now I get it. In other news, this fic is just over nine months old and I feel like I've given birth to a wonderful awful story baby! As always, your comments are massively useful and give me a lot of ideas.

The fluorescent lights of the clinic hall are blinding. Nothing like the soft, liminal space Ragako had guided Erwin into.

Erwin laid his hand on Levi's chest again, but this time the shaman snatched his wrist away.

"Now you must let the physician work," she said. She handed Erwin the blood covered feather and led Uri into the next exam room to check on Kenny, the owl still perched on her shoulder.

Erwin blinks a few times and stares at the feather in his hand. Gone. Levi was gone, and they had brought him back. Dr. Rheinberger swore to do the best she could with local anesthetic. Ragako gave her a kind but stern warning not to project Levi so violently out of his body against his will. Levi's shoulder will have to be cauterized. Through the door Erwin hears a growl of pain, and his body contracts sympathetically. But sounds are signs of life.

Bert emerges timidly from the break room and hands Erwin a styrofoam cup of cold water, like a nectar of the gods.

"Did anyone see you?" Bert's whisper is hoarse.

"Excuse me?"

"Did anyone, I mean...does anyone know what happened?"

Erwin sees the fear in Bert's eyes, the way he waits for blue police lights to cast their lurid glow over Grisha and the boys in the lobby.

"No," Erwin says.

**

Mike's phone rings on his night table. He blinks in the dim light and picks it up. Reiner never calls from the clinic in the middle of his shift.

"Reiner? What's happening, buddy?"

"Hey Mike, do you, uh, have a spare key to Erwin’s house?"

"Say what now?"

"So, he and Levi are here, and, uh...they need clothes—"

"Reiner, what are you talking about?"

Nanaba rolls over in bed. "Mike? What's the matter, honey?"

Reiner takes a deep breath. This will not be easy to explain in a few short sentences. He tries his best.

"Erwin, you shifty bastard," Mike mutters to himself. "Erwin burned a man's house down," he says to Nan.

"What?" Her eyes snap open.

"No kidding," Mike says into the phone. He turns to Nanaba again. "They broke five people out of the auction."

"What? Give me that." She snatches the phone from Mike's hand. "Reiner? Sweetheart? What's going on?"

Here we go again, Reiner thinks. Nanaba clutches Mike's arm, her eyes wide, her heart pounding.

**

Krista sits in a pair of Annie's spare scrubs in the break room, her hair damp from rinsing the blood from the ends. Erwin collapses onto the couch next to her. For a moment, they say nothing.

"I take it she's all right then," Erwin says.

"Not really. I mean, she's alive. But her ribs are broken. At least her lungs are ok. But the wolf is still injured, too." Krista wipes her eyes. "They're going to operate on her, though. She's stable enough. The bird...what's her name, Ragako? She said to do it now. I think it freaked everyone out, though. Hearing her talk."

No kidding, Erwin thinks.

"What happened to Levi?" Krista asks.

Erwin shakes his head, unsure of how to describe his strange encounter. Bright presences had descended back into the room. Then, silence. Dark. "Well...he's here. Lost a lot of blood, though. And they can't replace it, they don't keep human blood here."

"Jesus. Of course they don't," Krista says to the floor.

"They can't put him under," Erwin says.

"What?" Krista sits up straight.

"But it's just his shoulder that needs work." From the burns and scars along his hip, Erwin's convinced Levi can handle it.

Erwin notices the smell of cigarette smoke before he sees Uri walk in. Uri sinks into a chair across from them, the little room already feeling crowded.

"What's the story?" Erwin asks, still coming back to reality, his vision still darker than usual when he blinks.

"Weirdest fucking thing I ever seen in my life," Uri says. "Covered in fur like that. Like a goddamn chupacabra." He runs his hand through his hair. "Startin' to wear off, though. Thank god. Now he's just dehydrated and pissed."

"Clearly the auction is not for you then," Krista says. Uri looks confused.

"Erwin?" Nanaba's voice is soft. Mike's silhouette blocks out the door frame behind her.

Erwin turns around, surprised.

"Reiner called us," Nanaba says. Mike carries a duffle bag of clean clothes for him and Levi.

"Christ, you look awful," Mike says.

Erwin tilts his head back against the wall; Nanaba gives Mike a little jab in the ribs.

"I would too if I just pulled you from a burning building," Mike says. He kisses the top of Nanaba's head. She rolls her eyes. "Here." He hands the bag to Erwin.

Erwin sighs. "Thanks for coming."

"Don't mention it," Mike says.

A scream of pain erupts from the exam room.

**

"Ymir?"

The lights are bright, but Levi's vision is dark.

"Ymir, where am I?" Levi watches his body beneath him. In the corner of the room, he discerns Ymir's presence.

"You're in the clinic," she says. "Remember?"

The pain of the procedure has coaxed him out of his body again. He sees his current below. It begins to warp and bend while the doctor stands over him.

"No."

"You can stop this," Ymir says.

"No, I can't. It's happening. I can't control it."

"Yes, you can."

"How?" Levi senses a vertical force coming from Ymir and the birds, pulling him upright. But it isn't enough.

"Find Erwin."

"Where is he?"

"You know where he is," Ymir says.

The little glinting threads appear. The brightest leads to Erwin, turning slowly.

"This is the gate that brought you back," she says.

"The thread?"

"Yes. If they're strong enough, they can act as gates."

Levi focuses on it with all his might. The room takes on Erwin’s distinctive glow.

"Now hold onto it," Ymir says. "And don't let go."

**

Erwin finds an extra trash bag in the bathroom and shoves the dirty clothes into it. The water from the sink is freezing when he splashes it onto his face and tries to dissolve as much of the grime off of his skin as he can with the thick paper towels. He feels a sudden pain in his chest, like the tug of a string; then a tension in his spine. He shuts his eyes and the cord appears again. What happens if he pulls back?

More voices. Images. Warped, as if through water. They gradually become clearer.

"How do I know it isn't going to hurt him?" The distant voice belongs to Levi.

"Are you really worried about that at a time like this?" Ymir's silhouette takes shape in Erwin's vision.

"Of course I am," Levi says. "You think I want to be a fucking parasite?"

"It doesn't work like that," Ymir says.

"What about the others? The ones to Farlan? And Isabel" Levi asks. Erwin can barely discern read and green lines emanating from Levi's smoky likeness.

"They can't stabilize you," Ymir says.

"Why not?" The reddish waves of anger are bright around Levi.

"Because those threads go outside of time, Levi." This time the owl speaks without speaking, her whitish presence now visible to Erwin. "If our ancestors could hold us," she says, "there would be no instability."

I can do this, Erwin thinks, focusing hard on the cord. This, I can do for you. He finds it now impossible to slouch, his body pulled rigidly tall.

"You see?" says the white owl. "He has roots, you cannot knock him over."

Erwin flinches. Can they hear his thoughts? Or does she simply see him the way he sees her—just a presence? He loses the vision and has to breathe for a minute to reconnect to it.

"I hate to break this to you, but you're gonna' have to get back in your body," Ymir says.

"Why?"

"Because you can only control it from a distance for so long." Erwin senses frustration in Ymir's voice, as though this is all common knowledge. "Plus," she says, "You stay out of it for too long, the current disintegrates. And then you can't go back at all."

"I'll lose the thread," Levi says.

"You won't," Jinae says. She gives off the warmth of a smile. "He is holding it."

**

In the lobby across from the bathroom, Grisha kneels on the ground and talks earnestly to the golden retriever who nods and shakes and his head. Eren and Armin wear extra sets of scrubs of Bert's and Reiner's which fit them like tents. Each has a forearm wrapped in a towel with a large bird of prey sitting on it.

In light of the evening's events, Erwin barely registers the strangeness of it.

"You're sure nobody saw you?" Nanaba asks Krista. Erwin feels suddenly guilty at leaving her to explain.

"I'm not," she says. "I don't think anyone did. But I don't know."

"I bet you a thousand bucks the paper says it was a gas leak that did it," Mike says. "Or a cigarette in bed. Or something."

"No one knew you were going over there?" Uri asks.

"I don't think so, no," Krista says.

"And nobody knew he had Ken?" Uri's eyes are dark.

"Uri, I don't know," Krista groans. "I don't think they did, but I don't know? Ok? I'm—" she almost says 'sorry.' She sighs. "God, I'm tired."

There would be no emergency buttons in Zackley's house; too easy for a shifter to push in a desperate escape attempt. No cameras streaming to remote servers; too easy to hack. Erwin's mind combs through the possibilities of any trace they could have left. But Uri's ridiculous car has no electronics, and Rod took the liberty of disabling the ones in the Escalade.

"Erwin, let us give you a ride home," Nanaba says.

"Don't try to run in the morning," Mike says. "Have Hange tell the kids you were in a wreck. Or something."

Erwin nods and sits back on the couch.

"Krista," Grisha leans in to the break room, now packed with people. "Are you by chance in need of someone to fill in for Ymir for a week or two?" Flocke looks up at her, his brown eyes shining.

"Yeah," she says, her voice faint. "Thanks." She reaches her hand down to rub Flocke's ears. The dog lays his head at her feet.

"The boys and I are heading out," Grisha announces calmly. "Once they've finished cleaning out the cars." He nods toward the parking lot. "The women will be staying with us for the time being. Doctor Dreyse has agreed to take Flocke with her for now." He looks at Erwin and Krista. "If there are any complications with Levi or Ymir," he says, "call me. Tell me you threw your back out. I'll come over."

**

Grisha turns into his neighborhood. "If there are auditors here," he says mostly to himself, "the last thing they are going to see is the barrel of my shotgun."

Here it comes, Armin thinks: the scolding. He spots Mikasa standing in the driveway with her arms crossed and braces himself for a tirade. But when they open the door to the car, her eyes are wide with awe. She clamps her hand over her mouth.

"Oh my god," she whispers. "They're real." She gazes at the birds. Impossibly bright. "Are they staying with us?" she asks Grisha.

"Until we find somewhere more suitable for them, yes," Grisha says. "In the backyard, is what they said they'd prefer." The two women, if they chose, could remain in their bird forms for the rest of their years to come.

The owl Jinae flutters happily. Ragako simply blinks her yellow eyes.

"I am going to bed," Grisha says. "I suggest you do the same. Don't wake your mother," he says sternly to Eren. "In the morning, you will get to be the one who explains all this."

Grisha retires upstairs and the birds flutter onto the coffee table. Ragako pokes a rattan basket full of magazines with her foot.

"Oh," Armin says. He takes out the magazines and the bird climbs inside, like a nest. She tucks her head into her wings. Jinae hops onto a thick blanket on the arm of the couch, careful not to puncture the upholstery with her talons. Long, silky white feathers cover her clawed feet.

Mikasa just gazes at the birds, delighted. "It's incredible," she says.

"What?" Armin asks. He sits on the couch next to Eren, still in the enormous scrubs.

"I've never seen anything like them," she says. "Not even Ymir." She heaves with a little laugh and her eyes tear up. "It's like—" she shakes her head, "It's like discovering angels are real, are something. I don't even know how else to describe it."

Jinae cocks her head toward the bathroom.

"Oh—do you want to shift?" Mikasa asks.

The owl nods.

"Hang on..." Mikasa darts upstairs and pulls a spare bathrobe of Carla's from a closet. She lays it in the downstairs bathroom and the owl hops inside. Her full wingspan would knock the lamps off the tables.

The kids look at each other. After a moment, a small woman with long white hair steps out and smiles. She glances around the living room with amusement.

"It's quite nice, for a human dwelling." Jinae's accent is distinctly Canadian, with a lilt that makes it sound nearly Irish. She walks over to the basket and runs her hand over Ragako's feathers, then turns to Mikasa. "You shouldn't be upset with your friends, my dear," she says. "They're very brave."

Armin's face flushes. Eren's cracks into a wide grin. But Mikasa just blinks, still stupefied.

"Will...will you tell us what happened?" She stammers.

Jinae chuckles warmly. "I haven't heard the sound of my own voice in ages." She sits down next to Mikasa and looks up at the ceiling. "The important question is where to begin."

**

The sun is nearly up when Mike and Erwin pull a semi-conscious Levi from the back of Nanaba's Jeep. They share the weight to keep his shoulder as still as possible. Nanaba pulls the doors open, the duffle bag slung over her shoulder. The men lay Levi on the bed.

"I'll call Hange," Nanaba says.

Erwin gives a weak but grateful nod. When the others leave, he pulls an envelope from his pocket and slaps it down onto the table: the remainder of the fifteen thousand dollars, in cash. Erwin sits at the foot of the bed with his face in hands when he hears an unusual chime from the computer. He walks to the desk and taps the space bar to light up the screen. An email for Anton Smith.

Erwin steps back. He knows he shouldn't look at Levi's email.

He looks anyways. The email is in German. Erwin sighs and shuts the laptop.

He opens it again and copies the text into a translator.

 _Dear Herr Smith,_ it reads. _We have read your proposal and we are interested in offering you a contract for your translation of „The Psychology of the Occult"_. He did it, Erwin thinks—ashamed to be surprised. He scrolls through the rest of the message. Details on how to contact the publisher. Then, _I look forward to speaking with you soon. Dr. Liliane Pieck, Phönix Verlag, GmbH._

Erwin laughs softly to himself and stretches out on the still-made bed next to Levi, who remains human. The sensation of pulling is still present in his chest; not unpleasant, just unusual. He's nearly drifted off to sleep when Levi reaches over and grabs his hand.


	51. Roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa learns some secrets of the current, Krista fends off questions from the auction, and Levi gets a little closer to stability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is almost the end. I have a pretty clear sense of how I want this fic to end, but I'm still open to suggestions and anything you might want to see before I wrap this up. Your comments are every bit as helpful and appreciated now as they have been all along!

It shouldn't be this difficult to sleep, Eren thinks. He and Armin stayed up listening to Jinae's stories for as long as they could: how she was shot from the sky by the cruel man's rifle and plummeted to earth believing she was dying; how the shift felt like fire for the first time since she was a child; how long it had taken to heal. But there were beautiful moments, too; meeting the wolves for the first time as a child. Learning to fly. Now Eren's mind is overwhelmed with images. His body begs for sleep, but his mind rebels.

"You're awake?" Armin slides up closer to him.

"Yeah."

"You've been awake this whole time?"

"Yeah." Eren rolls over. "Don't worry about it. How's your side?" Eren brushes Armin's hair out of his face.

"Well...the novocaine your dad gave me is wearing off, so...not great."

Eren delicately traces the lines of stitches with his finger and scowls. He thinks of the thin dark ribbons of blood he scrubbed off of Armin's skin hours before. It wasn't until they'd all climbed into Krista's car that Armin had even fully registered the pain, no longer numb from shock.

"What's the matter?" Armin asks.

Eren shakes his head. "I'm just mad you got hurt."

"Compared to what happened to Ymir and Levi?"

"No, I don't mean—"

"I know," Armin says.

Eren flops over onto his back and stares at the ceiling for a moment. "I would never have gone and done that if you hadn't been there," he says.

"You didn't seem nervous at all," Armin says.

"Yeah, 'cause you were there." He draws himself up next to Armin and rests his head on Armin's chest. "I still just...what the hell did we just do?"

"I don't even know. I can't even piece it all together," Armin says. "It's kind of a blur. Kind of surreal."

"Yeah. Surreal. That's a good word." Eren thinks of the pit bull with contempt. Everything had happened so fast. Then another image comes to him. For a split second, as they carried Kenny to the car, he caught a glimpse of the dog's human form on the blood-soaked ground.

"Do you remember that dream I had?" Eren asks. The morning light is bright behind the blinds.

"Which one?" Armin intertwines his fingers with Eren's.

"The really...realistic one."

"Yeah. I remember it."

Eren had refused to talk about it. He tried to push it out of his mind completely.

"You were there with me at the beginning." Eren's throat is tight. "But the person I saw who died...now I'm not so sure it was you. The dog that bit you. I think he shifted as he died. Did you see him?"

"No. I tried not to look in the living room. I didn't want to have another breakdown again."

Eren shakes his head. He releases Armin's hand and runs his fingers through Armin's hair. "I just saw him for barely a second. But his face and hair reminded me of you."

"That's strange," Armin says, his voice soft. "You should tell Ragako about it when she wakes up."

"Why?"

"She's supposed to be a prophet, isn't she? Maybe what you saw was from the future."

Armin's sudden sharp inhalation distracts Eren from the unsettling thought.

"I should get you some ibuprofen or something," Eren says. He considers a benadryl for himself to put a stop to the images and force himself to sleep.

"I'll come with you. I want some water, too."

Eren climbs out of bed. He reaches out and Armin grabs his hand to stand up.

"What are we gonna' tell the team? About why we're not there today?" Eren asks.

"Oh." Armin rubs his eyes and yawns. "Uh...I was thinking...maybe food poisoning. Some bad shrimp, or something."

Eren nods and laughs to himself.

"What?" Armin asks.

"I can't do anything without you," Eren says.

When they reach the foot of the stairs, Mikasa is still sitting on the couch across from Jinae. She jumps up and runs to them.

"Eren! Armin! Look! Look what Jinae taught me!" She holds up her hands. Long white claws emerge from each of her fingers and then quickly disappear in succession. She cackles with delight, and white whiskers sprout from her cheeks, then vanish.

Jinae chuckles. The robe is pulled down from her shoulders, gathered about her chest. Two huge white speckled owl wings extend from her back.

**

She needs more staff. Initiated staff. Krista's eyes burn from fatigue, with dark shadows beneath them. "Mina," she says, "I need you at the host stand today. Flocke, I'm not training you on that yet. Not today anyway. I'm going to have you work with Marco instead."

"That's fine," Flocke says. "Whatever you need me to do." He stands dressed in a pair of black pants and a black t-shirt. The half-apron tied around his waist bears the Blue Magnolia logo.

He shouldn't even be here, Krista thinks, unstable as he is. But she needs the help that badly. She decides it's worth the risk.

Saturday is busy as usual. The line stretches out the door, and Flocke carries seemingly endless trays of drinks from the bar to the tables. Krista's mind is only halfway on her work. Her thoughts remain at home.

Marco recognizes two silhouettes at the end of the corridor. "Oh, shit. Flocke," he whispers sharply. "You need to hide. Now."

"What?"

Marco takes the tray from his hands and shoves him underneath the bar.

"Historia," Arthur says. "Pleasure to see you."

"Hi," she says curtly.

"Busy day today," Cornelius says.

"Saturdays usually are," Krista says. Her patience is shot, and these are the last two men on earth she wants to see.

"So now how about getting us a table, sweetheart?" Arthur asks.

"Do you have a reservation?"

Arthur chuckles.

"Then you can sit at the bar," Krista says. She fights her face to keep from scowling. What would Ymir do, she wonders.

"Well...all right then," Arthur says.

She hands them two menus and seats them. Flocke cringes at the sound of familiar voices, and Marco does everything he can not to look down.

"Now, Historia," Cornelius says, "I don't know if you'd have heard the news—"

"What," Krista barks. "You need to make this quick. I have a line out the door of people to seat—"

"Now what happened to your wolf?" Arthur asks.

"She's exactly where she's supposed to be," Krista says. She crosses her arms.

"Historia," Cornelius's tone darkens. "Janice and Darius are dead."

"What?" She's too exhausted to feign confusion.

"There was a fire—"

"Fuck," Krista says. The two men slink back, caught of guard. Krista sees her opening and takes it. Time to make Ymir proud. "Darius had a shifter I wanted to buy. I was supposed to look at him this weekend."

"Were you, now?" Arthur asks. "Might I ask...which one?"

Krista feels her insides turn to steel. "It was a cat. Older, supposedly."

The men look at each other.

"Have you, uh, ever heard of a Nikolai Lovoff by chance?" Cornelius asks.

"From _the_ Lovoffs?" Krista sets her hand on her hip. "No, why?"

"He went out in a fire himself," Cornelius says. "Rumor had it, it was an accident. Until Darius found one of the shifter cats that did it."

"The other one belongs to your friend, Erwin," Arthur says. "Does he know that?"

Krista feels her shirt getting damp under her sleeves. "All I know about Levi is that he was half-dead when Erwin found him."

"Well, perhaps someone ought to tell him that—"

"Oh, what? So he doesn't get his house burned down?" Krista makes her tone as cruel as possible.

"Historia, that old gray cat is still at large—"

"Good for him," she says. "My wolf has something to hunt." Fuck, she thinks; will I have to debut Kenny?

"Now, my suspicion is, he wasn't working alone—"

"Let me ask you something," Krista snaps. "Did Darius have other shifters living with him? Besides his birds?"

"Well, yes—" Arthur says.

"So let me get something straight." Krista leans against the bar. "Darius captured a cat that killed his owner."

"Yes—"

"And he's got an 'experimental serum.'"

"Well, yes—"

"How long has he been working with this serum?" Krista asks. She thinks of her most venomous sorority sister and does the best impression she can.

"Well, in the last year or so—"

"So would you say he actually had this under control? This serum I mean. You think he knew exactly what he was doing?"

Arthurs starts to speak, but Krista interrupts him.

"So you're telling me you've got a known killer, and some halfway knocked out shifters all under the same roof, and you think those others he's got are going to be loyal? Really?" She lunges at them. "Of course he didn't fucking work alone."

"Now, Historia, I think you've got to look at this whole situation—"

"How is this not obvious to you, Arthur?" Her voice is loud enough that the nearby tables go quiet for a moment. She glances around, then back at the two men. "Darius tried to mess with nature, and he failed. I don't give two shits how pretty it looked. He didn't have those animals under control. Think about it. Imagine you're them, and you want to get out. What's the best thing you could do?"

"Well—"

"You'd pretend it was working, right? Even when it was wearing off. You'd make him think he had you where he wanted you, and you'd wait. You'd wait for the time to be right. Like, say, a new character enters the picture. And he's done this before, and you know this is going to be good." She points at her head. "You have to know how they think, Arthur. You have to be one step ahead of them, I swear to god."

This time Arthur has nothing to say.

"Now you know, you know," she tries to make her voice as syrupy and condescending as possible. "If they weren't intelligent, they wouldn't be so valuable." She shoots an evil smile in Marco's direction. "And Darius was not a stupid man. But if he can't even keep his own goddamn property under his control, then he's no better than Rod, is he?" Her expression darkens. "Which makes me think that maybe he deserved it."

The men look at each other again.

"Now," Krista says with a smile. "What can I get y'all to drink?"

Marco tries as hard as he can not to smile. Before the men order, he starts mixing Krista her favorite vodka cocktail.

**

  
In Levi's dream, he's six years old again. It's Family Day at the Unitarian Church. Kuchel wanders the grounds outside in her cat form. Levi and Josephine are making crafts.

„What color should we use next?" she asks him.

The little loom in front of them is set up to make placemats. Pipe cleaners, glitter glue, and all manner of accoutrements cover the long tables in the bustling fellowship hall.

„Green!" Levi says. „No, blue!"

„That is going to look very pretty." Josephine cuts a blue ribbon, ties it to the shuttle, and hands it to Levi. „You remember how to do it?"

Levi nods excitedly and weaves the ribbon between the cotton cords. Over and under, over and under.

„Very good!" Josephine says.

The minister walks over to their table. "Wow, Levi. That looks great." Her voice is warm.

"This one's for my mom!" he says back to her in English.

"I think she's going to love it," the minister says.

The shift back to human is just beginning when Erwin walks into the bedroom. Levi doesn't scream, he just inhales sharply and trembles from the pain, his eyes pinched shut. Erwin feels the pull in his chest again, and Levi's body softens. He opens his eyes.

"You all right?" Erwin asks.

"Yes and no," Levi says flatly.

"I brought you something." Erwin sets a cup of catnip tea on the night table. Levi sighs, and Erwin helps him sit up. "Anka said she thought it would help."

"Thank you," Levi says. He takes a sip. His current smooths out slightly.

"I wish I had something else I could give you," Erwin says. "You want me to stir some valerian in there?"

"Oh god. Maybe. I hadn't even thought about that. I'm almost afraid of what it might do."

They sit together for a moment while Levi drinks.

"The spring," Levi says.

"You need water?"

"No, I need to go there. I think it will help." He turns to Erwin. "Ymir went when she lost her eye."

"Levi...are you able to walk?"

Levi sinks back into the pillows. "I don't know." He notices the money on the table. "Wait a second—"

"It's from Uri," Erwin says.

Levi scowls. "He brought that much cash with him to the vet's office."

"He knew you'd be able to do it." Erwin sits back next to Levi. He runs his fingers through Levi's hair. "He says he wants you to call him when you're better."

"Tch. Why?"

"I don't know, it's just what he said. Not that you have to do it."

"Uri, I don't mind," Levi says. "Yeah. I'll talk to him." His eyes narrow. "But I think I've about had enough of Kenny to last me the rest of my life."

Erwin slips his arm between Levi and the headboard, and holds Levi's waist.

"To this day I can never make up my mind," Levi says, "whether Kenny saved my life or ruined it when he came for me that day." He leans into Erwin. "I did a lot of 'work' for us both." He gazes into the teacup. "Eventually I realized I couldn't survive without him, and he couldn't survive without me. And I hated it." Levi takes another sip. "He took me back when Farlan and Izzy were killed, and I just wanted to die, I'll tell you that much. Just knowing that I needed him. It made me sick."

"I guess family is like that, for better or for worse," Erwin says. "You've never been a fan of needing people, have you."

Levi shakes his head and scoffs. "When I left a few months ago, I never wanted to see him again. As far as I'm concerned, we're even now." He sets the empty cup back on the night stand. "Can we go?"

"Can you stand up?" Erwin asks. "I can help you walk, but I can't carry you. Not without looking suspicious, anyways."

"Let's find out."

"You're sure you don't want to just rest here," Erwin says.

Levi glares at him.

"Suit yourself."

Levi steps gingerly into a pair of swim trunks. Erwin makes a thermos full of the catnip tea. He puts of sachet of valerian into his bag just in case, with a couple of towels and a book. He spots Josephine's book on the desk.

"Do you mind if I bring this with me?" he asks.

"Just don't get it wet," Levi says. "I'm surprised you want to read it."

"You're surprised I want to know what you've been working on?" Erwin doesn't want Levi to know he saw the email, which he hastily marked as unread. "I'm a little hurt by that."

The walk to the spring is slow, and Erwin feels the constant pull keeping Levi vertical and human. He wraps his arm around Levi's back and under his arm, and tries to offset some of Levi's weight. The scar on Levi's shoulder is jagged, deep, and gruesome. They pass only a few people, and Erwin supposes the scar does any explaining for them. The others simply nod and wave politely.

The path to the spring is shady, the air dense with humidity. Erwin doesn't see it at first. Instead, he senses the change in Levi.

Levi drops to his knees at the edge of the water, and Erwin sees his current spreading out in all directions, like luminous feathers.

"Thank you," Levi says. "For bringing me here." He slips into the water and floats on his back.

Even Erwin feels better in the presence of the spring. The sensation of pulling makes him feel somehow stronger. He sits on a thick fallen log with his feet in the water. A tree trunk behind him makes a sort of makeshift chair. He wishes he had known about this place before. But if he'd come across a starving Levi weeks ago, would they have ever ended up here like this now? Erwin's mind wanders. He pulls his bottle of water from the bag, and takes out Josephine's book. Unusual colors surround Levi in his mind's eye, but some of them are still dark waves of pain.

"Levi...I brought you that valerian. You sure you don't want to try it? I mean, just a very small amount..."

"All right," Levi says.

Erwin wonders if Levi knows how much he hates to see him suffer, even if the pain is lessening now. He hands Levi the thermos and the sachet. Levi tears open the corner and pulls out a single granule. He drops it into the tea.

"Here goes nothing," Levi says. He drinks the mixture down and closes the thermos.

"I'm here if you need me," Erwin says.

"I know." Levi smiles. He lies back on the surface of the water and shuts his eyes.

**

The current spreads beneath him like a tapestry.

A tapestry. Threads, like ribbons. Levi sees the web of threads around him.

_I wanted everything to be even._

In his memory Josephine cuts a blue ribbon.

_I wanted everything to be perfect._

In his mind's eye, he sees a blue cord. It goes to Uri. He touches it. It rings with a frequency of respect. Gratitude. Something like friendship.

_I wanted everything to line up._

In his memory, he makes his mother a placemat. She sets her favorite porcelain teapot on it and smiles.

_I wanted to know how all the threads connect._

He sees a green cord. It goes to Armin. Pity. Compassion. But also, admiration. A touch of pride.

_I wanted to weave my own existence._

The spring bubbles up beneath him, and tears spill from his physical eyes. More threads. Red to Farlan; passion. Purple to Josephine; guidance. Pink to Isabel; humor. Don't follow them, they lead outside of time, he tells himself. If you follow them, Erwin will have to bring you back. Erwin sits at the edge of the spring, a man made out of light in Levi's vision.

There's a cord for every person who has ever cared about you, Levi thinks.

_If I weave them together, will I become stable?_

No, he realizes. The cords simply lead wherever they lead. Such is their nature. Spread in all directions.

No, he realizes. Not like a tapestry. Like roots.

On the level of energy, the current has to spread. But on the level of the archetype—roots in all directions. A web of stability. The link to Erwin feeds him like a taproot, sending energy like water. Levi feels himself smile. So this is how stability begins. One has to water the roots.

Another thread appears, silvery-gray and faint. It leads to Kenny. For an instant, Levi doesn't want to touch it. Then curiosity gets the best of him.

It rings of remorse. From the other end, he senses Ken's regret. Sadness, and guilt like Levi has never known.


	52. The Gathering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gets his book deal, Flocke reunites with his brother, and Krista decides to throw a huge party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this would be the last chapter...nope. Still a few loose ends to tie up, but I've been traveling for so long I wanted to go ahead and update. Final chapter hopefully coming this week!

The pain in Levi's shoulder is still immense days later. When he walks, he walks slowly and lightly; his breathing is shallow. A pot of water sits on the stove with a weak solution of valerian and catnip. Just enough to take the edge off, not enough to take him out. Levi sits at Erwin's desk and his palms sweat. Five minutes until the Skype call with Dr. Pieck. When he raises his mug of the mixture to his lips, his hand trembles ever so slightly.

An unsent email in German is open in another tab: an apology for the suddenly dropped call and a request to reschedule. He prays he doesn't have to ask Erwin to send it. If the shift starts while the call is going, he won't be able to wait it out. He'll switch off the modem with his foot.

He catches his reflection in the dark screen of the computer. You look so human, the thinks. Now please, please just stay that way. Just for half an hour.

Three minutes to go. An email from Erwin pops up from his break between classes. _Thinking about you. You doing ok?_

Levi flinches at the sudden distraction. _Yeah. Just preparing. Wish me luck._

 _You don't need it_ , reads the reply.

He has his whole story rehearsed. ,Why yes, Professor Ackerman was my aunt. She didn't publish much in the later years of her career. We thought the manuscript was lost. Yes, some of the references are out of date, but I believe the concepts are quite universal.' Please buy it, he thinks; it's almost true. ,Yes, she was from Freiburg, but I'm afraid I haven't been to Germany since I was little.' Erwin had caught Levi talking to himself in German in the shower in preparation two days prior.

At exactly eleven o'clock, the call comes through. Levi takes a deep breath and clicks to answer. He sees her before he can hear her. An unusual static comes through the screen, not from her, but from the enormous orange long-haired cat sitting between her and the computer.

„Herr Smith, good morning," comes the slightly crackly voice on the other end. "You'll have to excuse me, my assistant, Thorsten, has decided to join us." She glances down at the cat. She looks young, in her early thirties at most. Late afternoon light fills her office. The cat's current is nearly visible on the screen; Levi senses it as clearly as if the young man were in the room across from him.

„Pleasure to meet you both," Levi says. Against his will his eyes well up with tears. From the serene look on her face, he knows that she knows what he is.

**

Ymir's body lies sleeping in the basement of the restaurant, but her consciousness sits on a high branch outside with her two mentors. It feels good to speak the old language, even if the words are just impressions in her mind. She lets her awareness scan the building, following the motions of the shifter staff.

"They all look up to you, you know," Jinae says.

Ymir remains silent.

"I told you, you would become a chieftain," Ragako says.

"I can't do it on my own," Ymir says. The dark space of their awareness takes on the blue color of her sorrow-laced stress.

"Don't be afraid." Jinae's presence is warm and white. "You have your elders," she says, tuning into Ragako next to her. "And you have your queen." She tunes into Krista. "When they're ready, we will teach them what we know." Ymir feels a sensation of feathers enveloping her body.

"Let it be what it will be," Ragako says. "You have lived in their world, you have lived in ours. All tribes have a beginning and an ending."

Ymir waits pensively for a moment. "Ragako...what do you see?"

She feels the ripple of Ragako's laughter in the liminal space.

"I'm afraid for that I have to cast my bones."

"Ask the young ones," Jinae says. "It seems at least one of them has some talent with dreams."

Krista glances at her laptop screen. The sound in the restaurant diminishes as the busy Friday night draws to a close. She reads a paper list in Mina's unusual, loopy handwriting: orders for the new apartment. The mundane things, like sheets and clothes and dishes; then unusual touches, like a terrarium for Thomas and coffee grinder that looks like a bumble bee for Hannah. And books. So many books. Enough of them could read to teach the others, and Armin enthusiastically offered to help the ones who wanted it. Krista had offered to simply buy them everything, but the staff refused. They'll pay her back later from their own checks.

Flegel sits across from her, the new co-manager. He finishes the week's payroll and schedules the next week's shifts. Two friends of Pixis's daughter-cat Renee start their new jobs next week, managing the kitchen. If all goes according to plan, none of the uninitiated kitchen staff will ever have to know what's in the basement. Or that a wolf has been sleeping down there all day.

The shifter waiters stay on when the kitchen staff leaves, bussing tables and chatting. From the mezzanine above them, Krista wonders how long it can possibly go on like this. A small lamp with a red fabric shade sits at the far edge of the bar; a little nod to the days when the restaurant was still a house. When the last of the guests have left, Marco switches the lamp off. No one from the auction remains in the building.

Krista notices the change in the light and sighs. It's not the best signal, but it works. In the past week they've only had to switch it on twice. Simply mood lighting to the oblivious diners, but to the staff, a signal to regard Krista as a figure to be feared, to keep their heads down and put on a show. It's remarkable, how good they are at acting, Krista thinks; but that's survival for you. She supposes she's been acting her whole life, too. How different it feels now to act like something else. How long can I keep this up, she wonders. At least she has a full ensemble cast.

The staff clink their glasses downstairs and Marco walks up with wine for Krista and Flegel. He sits down with a glass of his own.

"Long night, huh?" Flegel asks, taking his glass from the tray.

Marco smiles and shrugs. "We're making it happen." He takes a sip. "How are you holding up?" he asks Krista.

She runs her hand through her hair, recently liberated from it's tight knot. "I'll be better once this stupid court case is over," she says. "But other than that...not too bad." She takes her glass of wine and smiles softly.

The rest of the staff walk up from downstairs and fill in the seats around them. Krista likes these people. Having seen the inside of the auction, they look completely different to her now. She leans back in her chair and as the conversation swirls around her, for the first time in so many weeks, things almost feel normal.

**

The party was Krista's idea, and it's a good one, Levi thinks. No part of him feels like celebrating. Even with the support of Erwin's verticality, the transitions are still erratic and painful, and the constant shifting leaves him tired. Still, he knows what Krista is thinking. With the court case won and the Kirstein ranch now in her name, she sees no reason not to gather the entire crew. And Levi knows he needs to get out of the house. As a cat, he hunts all day or sleeps in the sun; in his human form, he works on his book. To spend a few hours working at a library or a cafe, even in Erwin's office at the school, would be a grace. But he isn't quite there yet.

The sign on the door of the Blue Magnolia declares it closed for a private event, but the event is elsewhere. Levi is quiet on the drive out to the ranch, and Erwin doesn't press him. When he shuts his eyes, he perceives the cord, but he makes no great effort to grasp it. It's just as well let the shift happen and be a cat, he thinks; to just rest on Erwin's shoulder and not have to talk to anyone.

Long, low branches of gnarled live oaks form a canopy over the driveway, and the ranch house windows glow in the evening light. As Erwin drives closer, Levi feels it. Currents. Everywhere. In the house, on the wraparound porch, in the massive yard leading down to the beach. Farther in the distance is something as unusual as Ymir, something with a strong horizontality that seems to sweep over him, observing him. The horses.

When he steps out of the car, Levi realizes it isn't just the lamps illuminating the house. So many currents, so much stability, so much structure gives it a luminous blaze. The effect is tonic. He reaches for Erwin's hand as they walk inside.

"Hey! You made it!" Mikasa gives Levi a hug, then Armin gives him a slightly more reserved one. The two of them wear similar-looking dresses, Mikasa in red, Armin in black. Levi smiles in spite of himself.

Erwin claps Armin on the shoulder. The first cross country meet of the season was that afternoon. "You're looking well."

"Tch. He looks great," Levi says.

"Erwin? Levi?" Hange winds her way through the crowd. "There's someone I want you to meet."

From the tall woman's dark hair and freckles, Levi realizes she must be Ilse. They introduce themselves. Erwin is gregarious and present, but Levi's attention is scattered in a million directions. The only times he's been to gatherings with so many people that weren't part of the auction, he was with Farlan and Isabel. The copious alcohol and loud music did a fine job of numbing the awkwardness he feels now. A table covered in wine and glasses stands at the end of the room, and the sound of Gunther and Erd's guitar and mandolin drifts in from the porch. This time Levi does reach for the cord.

Erwin chats with Ilse about her research when a figure appears behind him and taps him on the shoulder. Levi recognizes Erwin's sister Elise from the photos. They have the same smile.

"Hey you," she says, and Erwin lights up with laughter. She gives Erwin a one-armed hug; in the other, she carries a timid looking golden retriever puppy.

"Billy!" Erwin rubs the puppy's ears. "We gotta go find your brother, where is he?"

"I think I'm the only dog that's not outside," Ilse says, tilting her head toward the yard. She and Levi shake Elise's hand.

"Aw, you're not going to join them?" Hange gives Ilse a little nudge.

She laughs. "Maybe in a little bit."

Levi looks out the open doors to the yard. There is no other word he can think of but 'frolicking' for what the three ponies are doing, followed by at least a dozen dogs. He recognizes Marco, Reiner, and Bertolt; the others he assumes must be from Krista's and Pixis's staff. At the edge of the yard stands a group of eclectic-colored horses, some heavily tattooed adults with eccentric haircuts, and Pixis, with others Levi doesn't recognize. On the porch, Ymir stands with Jinae, who shows Petra her feather covered arm. Petra's wide eyes blink rapidly. Ah, Levi thinks. Initiation. About time.

"Flocke!" Hange yells to the pack of running dogs. "Flocke, your brother's here!"

But it isn't just Flocke who comes running. All the dogs rush to the doors and into the living room; the ponies wait curiously by the porch. Levi clings to Erwin's side. The room is filled with barking and jumping and wagging tails like whips against their legs. The dogs all clamor around the trembling puppy in Elise's arms. Muddy, sandy pawprints cover the wood floor in circuitous tracks and Levi heaves a sigh.

"I'm going to get a drink," Levi says to Erwin.

Erwin rubs his back. "Go for it."

With the cross country meet that afternoon, they hadn't had time to prepare anything to bring. Krista insisted they simply bring themselves. They offered to help with the clean-up afterward, and Krista declared it a deal. She and Ymir planned to stay overnight, as did the birds. They offered the other bedrooms to Elise, Flocke and Billy, and Erwin and Levi. The clean-up crew will have their work cut out for them.

Levi takes his wine out to the calmer porch. At the far end, at the corner, stands a figure he doesn't expect to see. Kenny leans over the balcony with his drink in his hand, looking out to the edge of the yard, toward the trails to the water. The horizon glows orange from the sunset behind them. Levi stands a few paces away and leans against the balcony himself.

"So Uri dragged you out here, huh."

Kenny says nothing. He watches the horses. Ragako flies into an open window near them, leading to a changing room. Levi continues to drink his wine.

"I wish we had had this," Kenny says after a few minutes.

Levi turns to him, but Kenny keeps looking forward. He shakes his head. "Would have changed everything."

Levi sinks his face into his hand. "Yeah, well. We couldn't have had it. It didn't exist then. But we have it now."

Kenny nods slowly. Four deep scars striate his profile. "You did this."

Levi feels a hollowness in his chest. It's the closest Kenny's ever come to saying he's proud of him.

"Would have made your mother awful happy," Kenny says. He walks back into the house, and from the way he keeps his gaze straight ahead, Levi realizes Kenny can't bear to look him in the eye.


	53. Pawprints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi have to clean up all the pawprints.

Levi feels a little ill after his third piece of fish, his fourth glass of wine, and his second slice of cake. But it's all worth it. A few of the dogs are human now; they crack open beers and lay fresh kebabs on the grill. The cats Annie and Mikasa drape themselves around Armin and Eren's shoulders. Levi leans back in his chair, and through the glow of the strings of lanterns hanging around the patio, he can see a profusion of stars.

"How's the book coming?" Nanaba asks. She sits next to him with plate of fruit and cheese.

"It's getting there. Just a few chapters to go," Levi says. "They've asked me about translating some things from German to English, too."

"Are you going to do it?"

"Eventually," Levi says. "It's nice to be busy again." He turns to Nanaba. "Still no wine for you, huh?"

She smiles. "So far so good."

He tries to tune into her without making it obvious. Human currents are so subtle. But there are clearly two of them in Nanaba's chair. Levi simply nods.

The crowd begins to thin as the guests go home. Erwin and Ymir carry the last of the platters and dishes inside. Levi feels the shift begin as he wraps tinfoil around a glass dish of brownies.

Ymir snickers. "Getting out of clean-up duty, eh?"

"Tch. I would never do such a thing." Levi says. "Not with the house in this state, anyways."

"Don't worry about it," Erwin says. "We'll finish it all up in the morning."

Levi retreats to the bedroom. He lays curled up on the pillow when Erwin walks in from washing up.

"You tired, buddy?" Erwin reaches down to scratch Levi's head. "Guess I probably ought to stop calling you that, shouldn't I."

Levi rolls onto his back, looks at Erwin, and blinks a few times.

Erwin rubs his belly. "You don't mind it, do you."

Please, Levi thinks; no one's ever called me that in my life. If it bothered me, you would know.

He lays on Erwin’s chest and tries to sleep, but sleep doesn't come. He tries counting Erwin’s breaths, letting the slow rise and fall carry him off. It doesn't work. He tries to meditate, but instead of silence, he hears murmurs, whispers. He stands up delicately to not wake Erwin, and walks outside to find the conversation.

**

Erwin grabs his watch from the night table. There's no clock in the bedroom. It's only half past one. He thought it would be later.

"Levi?" he says to the dark.

No answer comes. In a place this remote, Erwin’s more curious than worried. I wonder where he went, he thinks. Then an image blooms in his mind's eye. Fire. A beach.

Of course, he thinks. He slips on his shorts and sweatshirt, grabs the little electric lantern he spotted on a side table, and finds the trail that leads down to the beach. He has to hold the lantern a distance from his face to keep the swarm of bugs at bay. He hears distant voices.

"Then the two of them still died traitors' deaths," a woman says.

"They knew nothing about us?" a man asks.

"Oh, they knew there was something special about your young ones," Jinae says. Erwin recognizes the lilt of her accent. "But not what they were. Or how many."

He spots the light on the sand through the pines. A group of people sitting around a bonfire.

No, not people.

Ragako and Jinae have massive wings extending from their backs. Four other human figures end at the waist, the rest of their horses' bodies kneeling in the sand. They wear simple woven blankets draped around their shoulders. Ymir smiles at Erwin, all of her teeth fangs. Levi sits in her lap.

"I thought that was you," she says.

Erwin tries not to stare, but he stands frozen at the edge of the sand. So this is what it looks like when they do it on purpose, he thinks.

"As you can see, we've had a lot to teach each other."

Erwin shakes his head and blinks.

Ymir strokes Levi's fur. "Of course, our friends here are naturals."

The horse elders are covered in tattoos, enough to make Jean's sleeves look paltry. Speckled patterns on their bodies begin where their human skin ends.

"Have a seat," Ymir says. He obliges. Jinae slides over and Erwin sits on the heavy blanket she shares with Ymir. Levi walks over and sits in his lap instead.

"Caroline here was saying Zackley's 'pets' crossed paths with some of her warriors a few years back," Ymir says, nodding to a woman with silver hair cut similar to Jean's. Erwin looks confused. "Jean's cousins."

"The two of them didn't know what we were," Caroline says. "But we knew what they were."

"Guess the bull's tattoos gave him away," Ymir says.

"It's been generations since we had to banish someone," Caroline says, "but that's how we would do it. Brands and all."

"I never seen a wild one turn on his own kind like that." Jinae shakes her head and folds her hands. "He used to pass as human. Used the little dog as a scout."

"It's not that unusual for the urban ones to sell out," Ymir says. "Work as scouts. I saw it all the time."

"This man, Zackley. He didn't suspect we were here until Jean helped you?" asks an elder with a heavy beard and a ponytail.

Ymir shakes her head. "No."

"And did he tell his friends about his suspicions?" the man asks.

"We took out his accomplice," Ymir says. "He wouldn't have told anyone else in the auction." She grimaces. "He would have wanted you all to himself, to start."

"What about the police? Who else was there? Who else saw what happened?"

Ymir hangs her head. "I don't know. Besides Uri Reiss, who you met, and the shifter he sponsors, I don't know." She turns her palms up.

Caroline turns to her. "You know, I believe you did the right thing—"

"But you compromised our position," the bearded man says.

"I did," Ymir says. "And for that, I offer my sincere apology."

Erwin tries not to smile. He's never heard Ymir sound so regal.

"It's not that we don't want to help you," Caroline says. "But you must also help us." She looks at Erwin. "There may be other times when you are called upon to help us keep our secrets."

Erwin nods. His desire to be helpful outweighs how badly he feels out of place.

"For now, we are safe," she says. "But there is still a lot of work to do."

**

Of all the things the cat excels at, sleeping is usually one of them. Levi flicks his tail in irritation, still awake an hour before dawn. He sits in the windowsill and looks up at the sky. He sees a flicker of dark feathers and the black falcon lands on the outside ledge across from him.

"Something troubles you," she says. Levi hears without hearing.

"I can't sleep. I'm completely exhausted, but I can't sleep." He lays his head on his paws. "I'm tired of feeling so weak."

"That is a feeling I know well."

"Sure. But that was chemically induced."

Ragako cocks her head to the side. "You think there is something wrong with you alone?"

"I don't know." Levi turns to Erwin's sleeping figure. "I'm tired. I'm tired of needing him. For everything."

"You fear he will resent you."

"I can't keep dragging him down with this cord for the rest of my life."

"Then sever it," Ragako says.

"What?"

"It is a gift. It is not meant to bind you. Perhaps a time will come and it no longer feeds you. Then sever it."

But the thought of being cut off from Erwin feels worse than the prospect of weighing him down. No, Levi thinks to himself; I want this. I want the connection. I just don't want to ruin it.

"When I look at a person like Erwin, I see a great pain," Ragako says. "And he is very good at hiding it. But it is plain to me that he needs you more than you need him."

"Tch."

Levi feels the ripple of her laughter. "If I recall, you took a bullet for him."

"He was there because of me," Levi says.

"Yes? So?" She looks down at him with one large yellow eye.

Levi would be irritated with the falcon if he didn't appreciate the company.

"Perhaps one day you will not need him," Ragako says. "But then, it will be someone else you need. Just like he needs you. And I need you. And you need me."

As she speaks, Levi perceives a little silver thread forming that links him to her.

"Levi," she says, "would you still love him even if you did not need him?"

"What? Of course."

"Then that is all you need to know." She flies off into the dark, but the tiny thread remains in his awareness.

**

The sound of Erwin opening the door wakes Levi up. He doesn't remember falling asleep. He doesn't remember shifting back to human. Erwin sets a tray on the side table; coffee for himself, the tea set and a sachet of leaves for Levi.

"Brought you something," Erwin says. "I'm gonna let you make it, though. I don't want to mess it up." He sits next to Levi.

"Tch. You won't mess it up." Levi rubs his eyes.

"I just want it to be good."

"You want everything to be good," Levi says. He sits up and drapes his arms around Erwin. Erwin pulls him into his lap, and Levi rests his head on Erwin's shoulder.

"Go back to sleep if you need to," Erwin says.

Levi shakes his head. "I'm fine."

"I thought I heard you up earlier this morning."

Levi shrugs. "It's fine. If I'm tired later, I'll sleep in the car."

"Suit yourself." Erwin kisses the top of Levi's head and pulls him closer. Levi lets himself sink into Erwin for a moment.

Levi reaches for the tray. He picks up the sachet and observes it. "See, this is just the right amount of tea." He grins. "You learn fast." He lays it in the cup and pours the hot water over it. He turns to kiss Erwin while it steeps.

Erwin touches Levi's shoulder when he draws back. "How's it feeling this morning?"

"Better," Levi says. "I might not need the valerian today."

"Good, because I just realized I forgot to bring it."

"Don't worry about it," Levi says. He picks up the teacup. "What time is it?"

"Not quite seven."

"Are the others awake?"

Erwin shakes his head. "Not yet." The house is still quiet and the morning is cool. "You want to go sit on the porch?"

"Yeah." Levi puts on his shirt and Erwin's shorts. When he opens the door to the living room, he freezes. "Oh my god."

There are pawprints everywhere. Every inch of the hardwood floor is covered in muddy, sandy pawprints. Dozens and dozens of circuitous paths of them wind between the furniture. The tracks cover the porch, the stairs, the patio.

"I didn't even notice in the dark last night," Levi says.

Erwin sighs. "Yeah, this might take us a while." He opens the door to the porch.

Levi laughs. He sits on the wooden porch swing next to Erwin, tea in hand. "Erwin. I don't care." He sinks into the crook of Erwin's arm. "I would rather be...mopping up pawprints with you...than literally anywhere else right now." He takes a sip of tea. "Besides, if we play our cards right, there'll be plenty more where these came from."

Erwin smiles and laughs softly to himself. He kisses Levi's ear. "I love you," he says.

"I know," Levi says. He turns to Erwin and kisses him. "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, again, to everybody who left me comments and feedback on this fic! I had no idea it would become so long or elaborate. I appreciate all the encouragement and critique so much, and I can't believe this thing is finally finished!


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